Imahinasyon

28 | Open book | Dreamer | Frustrated Figure Skater | Sometimes, all things are just an imagination.|

[hellojustanimagination]

These past few days, I found myself running and walking alone. I just love and appreciated the silence and how I managed to do it by myself.

But you know, there’s something missing. A piece of me that is laughing so hard while looking in his eyes.

I don’t know why we need to experience this. I miss being with him.

So to my family and friends, don’t ask if I’m okay because I’ll just lie while answering “yes.”

[hellojustanimagination]

Ngayon ko napagtanto na mahirap makipagsabayan sa mundong puno nang mapanghusga at walang pakeelam na lipunan.

Magsimula tayo sa pamilya — kung saan dapat nauuna ang pagtanggap, pagmamahal at payapang kaisapan.

NGUNIT

Ito rin ang magiging dahilan ng pagiging sawi, pagluha tuwing gabi at pag-iisip na mayroong mga katanungan.

Magulo man ang isip, isa lang ang sigurado.

Ang kwentong binuo ng dalawang nagmamahalan ay mananatili.

[hellojustanimagination]

Is it normal that you just want to drink, scream and cry? My heart feels heavy and I don’t have anyone to open it with.

I am tired. I want to rest. 😭

[hellojustanimagination]

This girl is tired.

Tired from trying, smiling and living. But she wasn’t just tired from a long day. It was the kind of tired that lived deep in her bones, the kind that no nap or weekend could fix.

Tiredness that came from giving too much, thinking too much, being strong for too long. And yet, she sat and try to stand there quietly, letting the silence hold her—not to give up, but to simply breathe.

Because sometimes, being tired was part of the journey.

And sometimes, she doesn’t have a choice but to endure it and try to live again.

[hellojustanimagination]

Hindi madali ang pinagdaan at pinagdadaanan natin nitong mga nakaraang linggo at araw. Pero salamat sa pananatili.

Salamat kasi hindi ka bumitaw — hindi TAYO bumitaw.

Tandaan mo, hindi pa man ngayon, sigurado akong sa tamang panahon aayon din sa ‘tin ang pagkakataon.

Mahal kita! ❤️

Palagi.

[hellojustanimagination]

I feel that I’m giving my family too much disappointments and pain. I feel so tired. I feel so tired not just because of the problems I am facing right now. But I am tired of trying. I am tired of everything.

Two nights ago, I am hearing voices inside my head. I feel scared. I feel terrible. I feel alone. I feel so incomplete.

I really don’t know what happened to me. All I know is I changed alot when my mama died. I can’t think properly. I can’t decide correctly. I can’t even manage to get back on track.

I feel so tired and I wanted to rest so badly.

Peacefully.

[hellojustanimagination]

You’re sleeping together in one bed but still you feel you’re alone. No hugs. No goodnight kisses.

Missing the nights you’re holding me tight. Kissing me. Hugging me.

I just missed you.

[hellojustanimagination]

I always love seeing my nails pretty. 😍💅

[hellojustanimagination]

Maraming nangyari nitong mga nakaraang buwan. Nawalan tayo parehas ng mga mahal sa buhay. Nakalimutan na ring huminga dahil sa sakit at kawalan ng gana sa mga bagay-bagay.

Para sa aking mahal, salamat sa palaging pananatili. ❤️

[hellojustanimagination]

I just feel empty knowing that these two beautiful human being is not with me anymore. I love and miss you two so much! 🤍💐

I am so sorry if I cry a lot. I am so sorry if I feel sad. Couldn’t believe that both of you are gone. ☹️

[hellojustanimagination]

I received an email from my boss saying that I am one of the 18 employees that the freelance contract will be terminated.

To be honest, I cried because I am the only one working for my family since my father filed his early retirement due to asthma.

I lost my job without knowing what happened that it came up with my name.

I had no choice but to continue and wait for an open door for me. Still trying to find a positive thoughts even though the world pushed me down.

[hellojustanimagination]

12:21AM

I miss my mom.

[hellojustanimagination]

Kahit gaano pa kaliit, kapag masakit, masakit.

No explanation needed.

[hellojustanimagination]

Naramdaman mo na ba yung feeling na habang nakikinig ka ng kanta, naiiyak ka at may kirot sa puso mo?

[hellojustanimagination]

When you are just tired and you don’t want to talk. Silence is really powerful.

[hellojustanimagination]

And I still didn’t know how I survived.

[hellojustanimagination]

Going back on ice is like bringing yourself together after a tiring weeks. Just missed the ice so ice. Will try to enroll in figure skating lesson next year. ❤️