Pouring my heart out!

Modifying the so-called life with one mistake at a time.

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Anxiety

I feel fidgety, almost always. I feel I am in a wrong place. I feel stuck and not completely myself. I am pleasing people. I am acting in order to not hurt anyone. I am acting in order to keep everything around me, away from me.

I feel I am not doing enough in my life. I feel I am not working enough. I am not doing enough to make a difference in my own life. I am doing things that do not sit well with my ideals. This situation is frustrating and it is, hard.

I get angry at small things. Then I don't show that anger to anyone, most of the times. Other times, I scream inside my head. Can't scream outside, can't scream properly.

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Friend, lover

“A safe person, my cave, whom I can trust and be honest with.”

I feel like I found someone special. I am more relaxed and feel “okay” in their presence. I like myself more for being the person I WANT to be in their presence. This, right now, is a strong feeling. I am grateful to this person for coming into my life. For pushing me a little and making space for herself in my life. I am grateful.

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Someday, one day

Tired of “working on myself” and “trying to correct myself” and “keep boundaries and behave the way you are supposed to”. I will be unapologetically insane.

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Adversities of existence teach compassion.

Unknown

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

I’m

I'm chewing sorrow I'm drinking fears I'm smelling blood I'm seeing wounds my plate's full But still, I'm asking for more

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

There is no work-life balance, instead, there is only life. Work is your support system for life and not the other way around.

who knows

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Everything between you and your dreams.

I've come to a realisation that dreaming is the easiest part, getting out, in the open, under the sun, and to fight for our dreams is the hardest. And everything in between, everything that will take us closer to our dreams is made up of friends, family, love, good food, little sleep, hard work, sacrifices, and occasional 2 AM conversations.

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

I bribe myself with a latte and pastry, write for 1 hour a week while crying and then I lie down for three days.

Writer’s Ritual

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

I hope

I hope you are able to sense my warmth, even though we are a thousand kilometers apart I hope you are able to know that I love you, even though we are a thousand words behind I hope you are able to feel that I do feel, even though we are a thousand nerves far I hope you are able to see that I care, even though we are a thousand efforts ahead I hope you are able to believe that we are together, even though we are a thousand luck short

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Happy hormone in short time. Stress hormone in long run.

relationships

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

What’s the story? What’s our big, sticky, and beautiful story that is memorable and people would love to re-tell it given a chance or not.

Narrate a story

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

A letter during pandemic

My Dearest, It has been a while since we got in touch, saw each other, breathed-in in each other's presence, and ate sitting across a table. They tell me that it is going to stay like this for a while. I refuse to believe them. I refuse everything these days, the predictions, the pandemic, the distance, the pain. I guess I never learned to live like this. To live without the stuff that makes me, me, and that makes us, us. The other day I slept wearing a mask, woke up to the news of thousands of deaths, and a missed call. Though the pain everyone is going through is unbearable, unimaginable. I regret the missed call the most. I called you right back, didn't I? Your voice at the end of the day, the hope that we'll get through this, and the music you send are the few things keeping me intact, inches away from breaking down like dry clay. To sum up, all I have to say is that you stay put, hold up, eat well, and take care of yourself. I miss you. I love you. And yes, love is the only way forward. Yours Truly,

Via https://letterflix.com

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

permission

"Only once you give yourself permission to stop trying to do it all, to stop saying yes to everyone, can you make your highest contribution towards the things that really matter." — Greg McKeown, Essentialism

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Aristotle's criticism -- The Story of Philosophy

"he supposes that thought beings with premises and seeks their conclusions when actually thoughts begin with hypothetical conclusions and seek their justifying premises,-- and seeks them best by the observation of particular events under the controlled and isolated conditions of the experiment."

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

4 AM

Recalling everything that hurts me and everything I crave and all the love that I gave and didn't come back and negotiating a loan with my karma.... 

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

Early on, letting people make their own decisions can help them take ownership and do better in the long run.

from my workplace

[hellolostsoulontheinternet]

hehe, a poem that I stitched together long back

Each morning brings to you the joy of a fresh beginning, when the sun is done with its everyday chore, and when the everyday chore is done with you, you get another chance, to ask yourself... what good shall I create today? with every second passing through your grip, with every ray of shining sun, losing away its youth to the lazy evening, when it begins... it leaves you with something at the end of your day, the something that is more like you, something that you made, that something is a part of you... so before you hate, you better know, that some things tell more about you, then it tells about itself... as the dusk surrenders to the dark, you seem to forget, that there is more to life, than worrying about your every day, but as you've seen it happen before, right in front of your eyes... we seldom judge ourselves, like we judge every other man. So before you allow the next morning sun, to take away your day, you better allow yourself to make a better day... but then, half-asleep, you question yourself, what is a better day? anyway... Love, when you wake up the next day, observe the sun, its presence, are you present? in your own day. Or you all too busy living in a cramped space, of your head.