I'll be your fearless champion

29 | he/him | bi-ace | autistic | 🇲🇽 | 💉 || ☀️

[not100bees]

They should invent a method of asking for reassurance that nobody secretly hates you that doesn't make people secretly hate you.

[god-monsterr]

this reply deserves to be here.

[allthingseurope]

Forest in the Carpathian Mountains, Romania

[albinotopaz]

Post Mindscape: 7-10 / 30

Uh oh…

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[justarandomart]

I would save you every time

[sugar-petals]

modern media in a nutshell

[100493503004422]

refusal to participate due to self consciousness is actually more embarrassing than participating. it took me a very long time to figure that out. abject fear of embarrassment is actually causing you to do things that are more embarrassing than what you fear. you are gonna be embarrassed anyway. let go and be free

[important-cat-pics]

[eggsdoodz]

love u lots ☘︎

[beardedmrbean]

[reportsofagrandfuture]

[bees-goodfellow]

Went looking for more pictures of this building because its very cool!

[Image Source]

Im quite fond of the shots that emphasize the rolling shape of the walls, especially that exterior one.

And here it is at night!

[risariba]

lumity is back💥💥

[strigops]

this is extremely local and also a shot in the dark but if literally anyone on this site lives in frederick county, maryland i am begging you to sign the referendum to vote on the expansion of the data center in frederick. they have until march 15th to get 18,000 signatures, after which we can vote to slap that expansion right out of their hands if we're lucky. you will need to sign at one of their in-person signing events, but it will be worth it. unfortunately they've already started construction on the site, but we CAN deny them from destroying another 1000 acres of forest/wetlands, high value farmland, and rural legacy areas.

the data center is being built on the site of an old aluminum plant, and the area surrounding it has already undergone numerous investigations for soil and groundwater contamination containing PCE, arsenic, fluoride, and the cancer-causing compounds PAHs and PCBs. while the linked EPA report seems to conclude that the contaminants on the site are "residual", it is still very much an actual superfund site. and someone decided to plunk a data center on it. the factory closed in 2005 and they were still finding new waste storage areas up until 2014, and construction is going to churn up all of that soil. i don't know enough about how well those contaminants travel as airborne dust, but it WILL get into the groundwater again with extensive disturbance like that. the current owners are now responsible for any remediation and i frankly do not trust fucking meta to keep anything from leaching anywhere. the site is also quite literally on top of tuscarora creek, which is extremely close to and flows directly into the potomac (and considering the current shitwater horizon situation our poor river REALLY does not need any more issues).

as a final kick of irony, the plant the data center will be built on closed because it was using so much electricity that they could no longer afford power. now. does that seem like a great place to build a data center, which are famous for slurping down so much electricity that it raises everyone's electric bills in the entire surrounding area. what was the thought process here. how did this ever get approved. please if you can, sign that referendum to nuke this expansion from orbit.

[rumade]

I’d divorce him too lmao

[sustainableseparatists]

[sisyphereantask]

It’s never JUST about the tomatoes.

[probablyasocialecologist]

Basically!

Throughout the day, partners would make requests for connection, what Gottman calls “bids.” For example, say that the husband is a bird enthusiast and notices a goldfinch fly across the yard. He might say to his wife, “Look at that beautiful bird outside!” He’s not just commenting on the bird here: He’s requesting a response from his wife—a sign of interest or support—hoping they’ll connect, however momentarily, over the bird.

The wife now has a choice. She can respond by either “turning toward” or “turning away” from her husband, as Gottman puts it. Though the bird-bid might seem minor and silly, it can actually reveal a lot about the health of the relationship. The husband thought the bird was important enough to bring it up in conversation and the question is whether his wife recognizes and respects that.

These bidding interactions had profound effects on marital well-being. Couples who had divorced after a six-year follow-up had “turn-toward bids” 33 percent of the time. Only three in 10 of their bids for emotional connection were met with intimacy. The couples who were still together after six years had “turn-toward bids” 87 percent of the time. Nine times out of 10, they were meeting their partner’s emotional needs.

The Secret to Love Is Just Kindness

Those who showed genuine interest in their partner’s joys were more likely to be together.

[educatedsavage]

Damn, this made me think of all the “shouting into the void” social media posts everyone makes. Just bids for connection. From ANYONE.

[c-ptsdrecovery]

I think that is ABSOLUTELY what a lot of that is. Our culture is very isolated (even BEFORE covid!), and we’re desperate to connect with others. I read an article one time that suggested that childcare workers stop saying that a child is “Just wants attention” and start saying that the child is “looking for connection.” We’re starved for it even from childhood.

[seymour-butz-stuff]

[sosayset]

When they are speaking about a passion, respond to children as if you would a tenured professor at a prestigious university, and to an adult as if you would a child free of the burdens of adulthood. 

Children are desperate to teach the wonders of the world that they know, that they have just learned, and share it with anyone interested.  Adults pour passion they didn’t know they had into voluntary obligations, and crave a simple acknowledgment of that passion as being worthy and valid. 

“Dear third grader, tell me exactly why you chose <x> as you third favorite carnivorous dinosaur instead of second, as specifically as possible.”

“Hey neighbor, your vegetable garden is absolutely gorgeous this year…and no I’m not just saying that because the tomatoes you gave me last year were absolute perfection.”

[salmonandsoup]

And if you can’t respond to the emotional bid at that moment, let them know you heard them. If there’s a gorgeous bird outside, ask your loved one to take a picture so you can share in it together. But by god, hear them. Tell them they were listened to.

[doomhamster]

That *is* a response though! Telling someone “I’m busy/low on energy right this moment, but if it’s possible, I’d love for you to show me this thing later” works just fine. At least so long as you establish a pattern of actually following up on it, even if it’s just going “hey, wasn’t there a thing you wanted to show me? a bird?”

Most people hate being told “later”, but that’s just because most people who say “later” really mean “I can’t be bothered”.

[dogpuppy]

[teaboot]

How it feels when your trusting and optimistic nature thwarts a malicious plot you weren’t even aware of

[teaboot]

An addendum:

[sho3lace]

I have been following you for years and this so well encapsulates a specific aspect of you which I've gleaned through so many anecdotes you've shared. It's great.

[teaboot]

this comment is a balm to my restless soul

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[jehovahhthickness]

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

[jehovahhthickness]

Okay inflation is crazy.

We bumping up the price to $15,000 for 2026.