She was annoyed at how very gentle he was, pressing herself closer with aggression and fire backing up each and every move she found the bravery to make. Where he smiled past the kisses she took the affair very seriously, eyes closed and brow furrowed in concentration as her fingers curled around and hence tugged at his shirt trying to get him to move closer to her although the space for such a move did not truly exist. Everything they were here and now intertwined around each other was a testament to what they were apart: he was cheerful in spite of what had happened and she was less than and demanding but still managed to muster a smile.
Reluctance to let go took over her as he pulled away from her kiss, a sudden fear that should her teeth cease grazing his bottom lip in the way they did he would tell her it was a mistake and that she was too bold. Worse yet, he’d tell her she was no Seven. She was guilty of it herself, sizing him up against Ryid even as they kissed but she feared it when it came to listing her against another. He loved Seven and she knew it, despite how she protested the relationship all while it happened he was helpless in her hands and now that he’d tumbled out of her grip he was helpless on the floor and she was down here with him bearing the weight of his standards for her (beautiful, more mature, and most importantly smarter). She was frustrated and scared and his words were a mere buzz to her. With eyes laid intently on his lips she got the jist of what it was he was saying; comforting but not enough.
She’d lost her voice to the nervousness that bubbled in her stomach and made her head fuzzy and light. She’d thought about bypassing what he’d said, ignoring it completely and going back in for more. She’d thought about picking herself up from his lap and leaving to return to the chatty crowd of people who would and had just as soon left him. She’d thought about crying.
“I- ,“ A stuttered response as she tried to compose herself for both their sakes. None of the options that’d crossed her fervent mind seemed enough. She didn’t even know what exactly it was she meant by enough, but none of it was what she wanted to do. Was there anything she wanted? He’d wanted to kiss her. She’d obviously wanted to kiss him when she’d asked but that moment had passed and with something akin to a glare she was staring him down with an ironclad white knuckle grip on his shirt with no wants or to do’s on her mind. She was never one to reflect on what she wanted to do before she did it but he’d left her with nothing but thought as she tried to piece together what it was she needed from him. He’d made a blank slate of her and she wasn’t sure where to go from there.
She could not waste anymore time in this frozen state; staring him down, the only movement managed being the twitch of her brow as she so obviously tried to make sense of the situation at hand. So she did what any reasonable Zero would have done. With the grip she’d secured on his shirt she slammed her weight forward and his weight down pinning him to the floor and throwing on leg, still tingling from where his finger had lingered on her thigh only moments before, over his torso so she might regain control of him, herself, and the situation. Her stare was just as intense as ever, perhaps a touch more scolding now that she was on top of him but still one hand unfurled from the death grip she had on him to slide the back of her hand down his cheek, something that in any other circumstance could be considered lovingly.
“We shouldn’t have.” She said, her control of the language suddenly stronger than it had been post kiss. She’d more or less recovered from her stupor but the panic was still in her eyes as she furiously searched his face for clearly written answers as to why they shouldn’t have done what they had done. Perhaps even that hesitation was too telling, suddenly aware of how intimately he knew her. “…And we’re not gonna.” She was slower to state this fact but still it came out of her mouth. “It…it wasn’t the same. So we can’t.” She could have read off a list of reasons of she so pleased: he was too soft with her, he was too close, it was too much. All were true. But she did not. She did not list his flaws instead her sharp look turned to something soft, looking for hurt in his eyes. “We…shouldn’t have.” It was softer this time, more apologetic. A question.
Jack wasn’t exactly known for making smart decisions. It was always Jack don’t linger behind, Jack don’t charge in ahead before we know what we’re doing, Jack trying to play Russian roulette with your sword isn’t clever. He was okay with that. He didn’t really expect a Jack that was a brilliant idea you should be the head of Class Zero not Queen or Trey!!! But that’s exactly what made him, him. Master of silly choices and even sillier reactions, nervous or not when it came to the long run. But he could claim he was doing just fine before this event but it didn’t take a genius to see otherwise. He had been scattered, uneasy, sleeping a little bit too late and getting up even later long after the sun had touched the grounds.
He would tell you she was a genius if you asked.
But while he wanted to continue he also did not want her to do this out of pity or a feeble attempt to wipe Seven from the front of his memories for such was a bold move and one that would end in mutual misery even moreso than they experienced together. It was strange watching her so uncertain of herself, even when she dropped her walls and her façade when they would hide away she still had this air that was cinque in every sense of the word and yet somehow, in some alternate timeline this was not entirely her and it filled him with both curiosity and concern.
Truthfully, he’d pulled away to make sure she was thinking clearly. He wanted to be the one in charge as he’d so often been in the past and to drag her about just slightly but this was so new and so foreign he couldn’t help but choke on the fear and the knowledge that he was currently standing back to back with Ryid himself. The 6 foot, buff, burly, smart and far older than he filled with wisdom beyond his ages. Jack could never live up to that no matter how long he lived and maybe that was a thought he should simply get used to regardless of where this happened to go.
As though she could read his mind however he was dragged so effortlessly from his spot against the wall before slamming into the ground below them, his head ebbing with a subtle pain as he winces from the rather hard smack that followed her apparent change of pace. She was here and she was there, she was kissing him and beating him up in the same breath and even in the same glance conveying more than a yes or a no that essentially ended up with his own beginning to swirl in total confusion. He understood where she was coming from they’d spent enough time together to do such but once his thoughts finally came together he figured it was one of those make or break moments he’d often heard Sice speak of before she went slamming through a field of enemies upon making her decision.
“It wasn’t the same.... because It isn’t supposed to be the same.” He knew she was referring to their other other halves, because he understood it was true just as much as she. Cinque was not seven and he was not Ryid, but for the briefest moment he thought that maybe, just maybe he could be bigger and he could be better and he would be better; it was all he needed, really, a moment. “we shouldn’t, but we did… And I’m gonna do it again.” He ignored her brief maybe’s and claims of no maybe not’s before placing both hands on her waist. She would stay softly in place before he forced himself up despite the pain ebbing along his back. Cinque was his constant, she had and would always be there for as long as he could imagine so while his brief spike of confidence was still there he quickly leans in to steal yet another kiss: bigger and bolder than he’d ever thought he’d manage to be or Etro help him.
Hands tighten as he draws her torso forwards, teeth sinking into her lip with more force than he’d utilized moments prior and it felt a little exhilarating to feel like he was making his own choices for the first time in forever. Fingertips trace along her spine, counting bumps and divots until he softly takes hold of the back of her neck and tangling into that wild mess of hair she wore so perfect. He knew there was a chance she’d swat him away and make a comment that he was out of line but it was worth one last try and right now, he had every intention try with everything he had.
