It's quite important to clean and drain your kill before preparing, but I always like to keep that blood for later, as to not waste it.
I'd start by chopping off the feet and hands, making sure to have full, clean cuts. Set them aside for now, and let the body drain. I think it might be more efficient to hang the body up from underneath the shoulders here, but I don't have one of those, so sheet pan with a large vessel underneath it is.
This would probably be the most uncomfortable step for them, as I don't necessarily have the space required to let it lay down yet. Even if they couldn't feel it, they're kind enough to donate themselves to my cause, so I'll be caring.
After that, it's free reign from here. I like starting by laying them down on their spine, a warm towel beneath their neck and head to keep it from rotating while I work.
Start with an incision along the belly and up to the torso. separating it into left and right. Remove the organs. As much as I pride myself on not wasting anything, I don't know how to use them yet aside from intestines, although I do keep the heart and head for myself. I crack the ribs out from the spine, opening it up as much as I can to let myself work.
From here, I like going for the legs, segmenting them by slicing them at the knees and hips, and then from the side to unfold them and take out the bones and major arteries with a lot of effort. Now you've got some wonderful high class ingredients.
You can mimic these steps for the arms, but forearms are wonderful for making small rounds that can be melted off the bone by basting them or roasting with some extra fat. You can achieve this by segmenting on the elbows and sawing 1"-2" rounds off, preferably starting with the thicker part as to not get a longer last round to compensate for the lack of meat on the bone. Upper arms are a bit girthy for these unless you have a specific recipe that needs them, so they aren't preferred for a general job like this one.
The belly is a wonderful ingredient, and can be used for a number of things, but the fat layers are truly divine, so I like cutting and smoking them as whole slabs of bacon. The dissection is easy enough; just trace around the area from hips, spine, and ribs, with a little bit for room for error.
Speaking of ribs, here comes maybe my favorite part! The chest area is a wonderful mix of ribs, back muscles, and breasts, as well as some arm muscle that stays layered on the torso for support. Start by doing your absolute best to detach the clavicle from either the sternum or the collarbone. We just need it out of the way. if you already have the sternum on one side or the other of the ribs, take it out with a clean cut and separate each rack of ribs by pulling in opposite directions. Cut a deep, deep line to completely free the ribcage from the collarbone area. Nobody will judge you for needing to use a serrated knife for this. Carefully try to break off each rib from the spine and keep the rack in once piece. It'll be hard, especially if the body is still warm, but time is on your side here. Once that's done, make the final cut to remove the rack, and move it to the side.
Lay the ribs skin side up on a new worksurface. Where the legs used to lay is enough room. Start by taking a horizontal cut along the surface of the skin to separate the breast and each of the back muscles by using a small sawing motion with a fillet knife. Now should be an appropriate time to skin the ribs now that they're on their own if you prefer. Repeat with the other side. This step gets you a lot of wonderful meat with not as much issues like small bones.
Last up is shoulders and spine and hips. I'm going to be completely honest I'm feeling really really tired. Don't waste any of it because the joints are really good for making stocks because they're full of flavor and gelatin that makes soups really thick and feel more filling on the account of the full-bodiedness of it. if I see any of you fucks throw it out a good spine, you're next and I won't make it a prettier butcher job.
Make sure that if you want to trim the fat off of anything, make sure to roast whatever you take off and keep the actual fat oils for cooking and the tissue for stock,. they taste really good and I swear don't you dare waste a good girl's massive belly because you'd rather not chew on it for days on end.Fuck this is long
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