Take Me Back To The Start
She had imagined this scenario thousands of instances. One day, someday, Henry Knight would walk back into her life. He need not change himself or his purpose; she would have gladly surrendered the fairy tale ending she so longed for to be his forever. She would surrender it all, for him; her life, her freedom, her happiness… Her fantasies lasted for nine entire months after he had left with one final kiss and his bidding—that she find happiness. For nine months, he occupied her thoughts, more so when her pregnancy came to light. Henry didn’t want a family, Cassidy never imagined she’d have one; but one night of love making in his studio to commemorate their final evening together made it possible.Â
Cassidy feels herself becoming light headed at the sight of him. True to his darklighter breed, his face carried no semblance of aging or change. She felt twenty-four again; hopelessly (and obsessively) in love with a man who had a number of skeletons in his closet. But that moment of pure bliss passes, and reason takes the wheel. Over the years, over the first few stages of motherhood, Cassidy changed. She grew into a woman of maturity and level-headeness. She may have decades of experience to go by, but only mortality and motherhood could encompass such changes to a person. Does she still feel her heart palpitate at the sight of him, so missed and so lovely? Of course it did. There was no denying that. But she’s overcome with this sense of closure that it is, after all this time, over. “Knight,” Cassidy whispers breathlessly, the bodice of her hand-stitched dress practically cutting off her circulation. The dress feels heavy on her body, and her engagement ring feels like torture on her finger. Even after all this time, Henry could weigh her down or lift her up to the high heavens. It’s an emotional rollercoaster compacted into three seconds of interaction. The shop keeper’s words make her flush with embarrassment, only gawking at the woman until she began to walk away. “White was meant for brides,” she replies saucily, an inherent playfulness in her voice. They fall back into routine; the bantering, the easy smirks… It felt like 2013 all over again. She stares at his hand, daring herself to take it. Regaining her confidence, Cassidy flashes him a smile and lightly places her hand in his. It’s electrifying. As she slowly steps down, grasping the skirt of her dress, she releases his and circles in front of him. “Richard… Richard Brooks. He’s human,” Cassidy answer, her voice low and unsure. Was it appropriate to speak of Richard to the ex-love of her life? Surely it was. “Y-You’re here… How? I thought the Nox wouldn’t let you see me?” Cassidy asks in utter disbelief, staring at him as if she has seen a ghost. In essence, he is a ghost, haunting her of their past in a trench coat. “I thought it was, what, decades of servitude?” she continues to speculate, unable to refrain from the overflow of thoughts. This can’t change anything. In that moment, even with her heart beating at such a pace, she knew that nothing has changed. She still wanted to walk down that aisle with a bundle of roses and peonies and marry Richard; give Derrick the childhood he needs, with a father and a mother and a white picket fence.
Hours felt like days, days felt like months, months felt like years, years felt like a lifetime. A lifetime ago Henry Knight was so terribly in love with Cassidy Carlyle; a lifetime ago he was a man who lived in darkness, yearning for the light. A lifetime ago. The years he spent with The Nox should have changed him, should have riled him down in the pits of his stomach so that he would never choose to live that life again, never fall in love. The Nox wanted to change him so that Henry Knight, the dark knight who was madly in love with Cassidy Carlyle would cease to be. That never happened.
If anything the time spent down there was one that had pushed his wants to see the brunette once again; he had often dreamt about it, played each situation out in his head. How long had he been down there? How old was she? Would he care? Most likely not. He would want her no matter how old she was. He loved her. He loves her. He will always love her. So when The Nox believed Henry Knight to be devoid of any human emotion, they threw him out back into the world. This was a year ago that he went on a ripper bend to show The Nox he was not the man he was before.
And now he found himself standing in front of the woman of his dreams, his nightmares, his life before and he wanted nothing more than to whisk her away to wherever the hell he pleased. He wanted to take her into his arms and transport the two back to his, no their apartment they shared six years ago. He wanted to relive his past, to forget the future, the present and just live in the past where they were blissfully in love. But that would be impossible; she was marrying some other man, someone that wasn’t him. Hadn’t he said that he didn’t want to marry, though? Hadn’t he said he didn’t want kids? Was that not the reason why he agreed to The Nox taking him back?
“You’re just as beautiful as I remembered,” he muttered under his breath, his eyes wandering over her body. “Though I never pegged you to be one to put on the big, puffy white dress with a… veil nonetheless.” Taking in air through his mouth, he looks away from her. “Human, right. It’s what you wanted, Carlyle. Human husband, white picket fence – all that’s missing is a kid.” A chuckle escapes his lips as he moves to sit himself on a nearby chair – he was afraid he would punch the wall if he kept standing in the spot. Why couldn’t it be him?
“It felt like decades down there. I feel like I haven’t seen you in…” Hesitating, he shakes his head and looks over at her. “They don’t know I’m here, not that they keep tabs on me anymore. I’m back to their shining darklighter, so why would they care what I do?” He shakes his head. “They only ever summoned me because my darklighter duties came second to you.” Pausing, he looks down and then back up towards her. “I miss you, Carlyle.”
