In Dreams We Enter A World That’s Entirely Our Own ….
The all to familiar rage was building within her again, she could feel it running through her veins, it was burning hot, she felt like her blood was boiling as it coursed through her body. She wanted to hurt, to maim, to kill. That was strongly counteracted with the lust that was pulling at her loins, she was desperate for him, she needed him, she kissed Phoebus deeply, biting and snapping at his lip, snarling into their kiss. She moved against him as she straddled him, arching her back as she ground her body into his. She craved him, she wanted him, every inch of her body was yearning for him.
She screamed suddenly as she felt a sharp pain cut across her shoulders, it was like the skin was being pulled so tight across her shoulder blades she swore it would rip open. She tried to reach and look behind her, struggling to feel what was happening, the skin was pulsating, it was tearing, she could swear it was splitting open. Her fingers felt like they were going to break, like the bones were going to snap. It was as if her nail beds were on fire. She screamed again as another bout of rage tore through her, she began scratching at Phoebus, but it was more than normal, she wanted to hurt him, to kill him, to rip the flesh from his bones. She couldn’t stop herself, the rage was consuming her, she tried to think straight, she tried to control herself, but she couldn’t. She tore at him, getting more and more violent, screaming and snarling at him.
theodore-x-nott
Theodore shrugged, “Well yes she gets some shit for being my best friend, but not as much as she’d get if she was - well - more than that.” He gulped, “Yes she fights for me because she’s my friend, the same way I would fight for her, or you guys. Plenty of the girls have money and a name, that isn’t the issue, of course I know she doesn’t think about any of those things. But I also know she doesn’t think about anything with me, just being friends, she’s not like the others, she’s different.” He sighed deeply, “Well I don’t intend on ‘doing away with her’ the whole point is I don’t want to lose her from my life. It’s not about giving up before I’ve started, it’s not that at all. If I had feelings - which I don’t - but if I did, she doesn’t feel the same so it would ruin our friendship and I don’t want to live with that.” He said solemnly
Phoebus leaned his face on his hand, shaking his head slowly. The poor boy was incredibly insecure for the amount of praise he receives. It was sad, really, to see him struggle like this. Mia was convinced, and she knew Theodore better than anyone else, that they were both in denial of their feelings. “Doesn’t she live like, a million miles away? You barely hear from her over the summers or break. Do you think you’ll just be pen pals after Hogwarts? You’ll have your own lives, marriages, children, responsibilities… I’m not trying to depress you mate, I promise I’m not. But… come on, It’s me, I know you, why are you denying it? You’re Theodore fucking Nott! Posterboy for the aristocracy! you could have any girl you want. Why is she so different? Because you like her.” He shrugged, surveying the boys expression.
“She lives in Morocco, that is hardly far with the use of magic, we can floo or disapperate to one another. Yes, I fully intend to keep her in my life after Hogwarts, why wouldn’t I? She is one of my closes friends, I have no intention of throwing that away just because we no longer attend school together.” He shrugged. Theodore’s face dropped as Phoebus mentioned marriage and children, he didn’t particularly want to think of him doing such things, let alone her. “Well you’re doing a good job at depressing me, you know my father is already on about me marrying someone and settling down, if he has his way I shall be married by the time I am sixteen. Him and mother were wed at sixteen and so must I.” He groaned, “I am trying to convince him to let me wait until after school but so far no luck. We’re already having to discuss potential candidates. I am twelve almost thirteen and I have to think upon marriage? Even if I did like her, how do I even start anything with her? Oh, hi, not only will this totally fuck up our friendship, but in about three years my father is going to force me to marry.” Theodore groaned loudly, placing his face down onto the table.
Phe let him speak. shaking his head slowly as he watched him realize all the thing Phoebus already knew “And what–you think she doesn’t have the same coming at her? If she’s from a family worth your time, then she certainly is, all of us are getting it. My parents married straight out of school. I think the only reason I’m not betrothed already is because they know she’s not going to be taken away from her father’s clutches.” he jerked his head towards Mia. “I do know it’s a shitty thing to think about so far ahead–but if there’s someone you feel so strongly about, from a good family, and you already get along so well…why is that so far out reality to actually ask all that? Ask her if she’s had the conversation with her parents about it–as her friend–and see what she says. It’ll just come across like you’re confiding in her and giving her the chance to do the same” he shrugged. “You think your father wont like her as someone for you to be with?” he asked after a pause, his brow furrowing.
Theodore laughed out loud, then began chuckling deeply, unable to stop himself, eventually he sighed and rubbed his eyes, “Oh mate, I needed that, fuck, thanks. Do you really believe your parents haven’t betrothed you is because of Mia? We both know they will never let you marry her, oh fuck the thought of your fathers face is just, it’s priceless.” He chuckled once more, “The thing is, it isn’t even just your family that won’t allow it, neither will her father.” He sobered, shaking his head, “Like, I hate to break it to you, but, you’re just as fucked as I am.” He nudged him, “We’re all fucked, the joy of being part of the aristocracy I suppose, at least we have more money than we know what to do with to take the edge off hmm? Oh, and supposedly this poison as well.” He said, taking another sip of his drink and wincing as it burnt his throat once more. “I don’t know, that’s a bit fucking suspicious isn’t it? Hey Ana buddy, hey pal, so, have your parents spoken to you about your forced marriage yet? Do you maybe want to be forced into marriage with me? You know, your friend, like come on, that is fucking wild, I can’t even imagine talking to her about that.” He groaned, letting his head fall back to look up at the ceiling.
“Fuck off” he rolled his eyes, shoving Theodore as the boy laughed, though not properly upset. He knew Theodore was right anyway. So he leaned back in his seat and sulked until the boy was finished telling him all of the reasons why he will end up with an unhappy life. “what I mean, is that the second I’m betrothed to anyone, Mia will find a way to kill her before I have a chance to open my mouth. My parents aren’t daft, they must know she at least likes me,they must remember all the things from our childhood.” He sighed, happy that the conversation returned to. Theodore’s own little conundrum. “I think you’d need to be a bit more fucking subtle about it, but yes.” He laughed. “You can talk to her about your dad trying to get you betrothed and ask her if she’s got a similar situation… I swear it’ll be a miracle if you manage getting a girlfriend, let alone this girl you’re giving zero chance to.” He shook his head, regarding him for a moment. “Just stop worrying so much, Mia says this girl likes you, just…you know, go for it” he shrugged, gesturing vaguely.
“Well at least you have Mia to kill them all for you sl you certainly won’t get stuck with one you don’t like.” Theodore chuckled. Hey, I could have any number of girlfriends, should I wish, boyfriends to for that matter.” Theodore retorted, sticking his tongue out at Phoebus. “Mia is hardly an endorsement for someone’s feelings. She would say any girl likes me if I said I liked them, and she’d make sure they did because she’d break their legs if they disagreed and that would just be the start.” Theodore laughed, shaking his head.
“I mean, that’s one way to look at it, sure” he agreed, though he shook his head. He laughed as the boy continued, “right yes, but I meant one you actually like and don’t just want to snog behind a tapestry somewhere” he shot back with a grin. “I’d give you that, but she’s friends with her isn’t she, and shed tell you the truth if you really asked. “Such deprecating talk from the most eligible young aristocrat” he mocked, giving his best Rita skeeter impression.
Theodore rolled his eyes and groaned loudly as Phoebus teased him. He sneered at Phoebus’s impression of Rita Skeeter.
“Don’t, that fucking woman will be the death of me. The shit that she writes should be enough to turn people against me but apparently not. The way she leers at me as well, it’s sickening. It just makes the girls want to be with me so they can be ‘famous’ it’s disgusting and tacky.” He snarled, taking another long sip from his glass and sighed heavily, “Why can’t anything just be easy? Why does everything have to be so difficult? It should be easy, we’re disgustingly rich, we should have the world at our feet, instead of trying to navigate this madness.”
Though he quickly sobered as he pondered his friends words regarding Ana.
“That’s the very cusp of the problem though isn’t it? We’re friends, she is so dear to me, what if you’re wrong and she doesn’t like me back? I ruin all and any hopes of friendship if this blows up in my face.” Theodore sighed, ruffling his hair anxiously. “ I just don’t think I can bear to risk it.” He muttered softly, wrapping his arms around himself as though he was suddenly aware of how vulnerable he was feeling.
Phe rested his elbow on the table, tucking his chin on his hand, “I wonder if normal people have these problems.” He mused, sighing a little. “Well, let’s hope that Moroccan bird you fancy, actually fancies you back. And maybe when you actually grow a pair big enough to tell her how you feel, you might get to find out,” he grinned, though he did pat the boy’s shoulder as he sobered.
“You’re so funny you know, because you’re the first bloke to talk about being the hottest motherfucker alive. And then sit here and say she might not like you. If anything you’d be saving her from whatever arrangement her family is trying to plan. As we all are…” though his statement started lighthearted, his last phrase kind of sobered him.
He patted his mate’s shoulder once more, giving it a small squeeze “Hey, stop it. Also, in the handful of times I’ve seen this girl around you, she’s fucking smitten, the pair of you are making eyes at each other constantly.” He chuckled.
“Speaking of madness…” He looked at Mia’s sleeping form for a lingering moment “We need to wake her eventually, I can send for you in the morning if you’d like? Or do you want me to set up a room for you? I don’t think she’d do nicely with you being in here when she wakes up, she’ll be upset I told you any of this…”
“If, and this is a terribly big if, but if I decide to tell her how I feel and she doesn’t feel the same and it blows up in my face. Well, I am holding you and Mia personally responsible and I shan’t be held liable for my following actions. Are you still so sure, so willing to risk it all?” Theodore said, sneering at Phoebus for a moment.
Theodore shrugged, “Just because I am hot, and I am hot.” Theodore said flexing his muscles, “I mean, just look at this.” He chucked, “It doesn’t mean she likes me, we have a really close friendship, surely if she liked me like that she’d have said something? You and Mia never shut up about how all the girls want me, you’re saying she makes eyes at me, well she doesn’t, she’s never said a single word about it, surely that tells us all we need to know?” He asked, genuinely curious as to why Phoebus and Mia didn’t see things the way he did.
Theodore’s heart sank as Phoebus spoke, at the mention of Mia he turned to look upon her once more, “I’m not leaving, I want to be here when she wakes, but you’re right, she probably doesn’t want to see me the second she wakes.” Theodore chuckled, “I will take a room, I want you to come get me once she’s awake though, ok? Promise me? Now matter what she says! We’re in this together, remember, you can’t do this on your own, nor do you have to.” Theodore said, squeezing Phoebus’s shoulder comfortingly. “You sure you’re ok to be alone? I can stay a while longer if you need?”
Phoebus let out a big “Hah!” At theodore’s comment, “your actions? Like crying and eating ice cream with Mia and my sister?”
As Theodore started flexing, his laughter only continued. He held his palms out at the boy, looking away as he continued to laugh. “you’re ridiculous… listen, if she lets you down we’ll line up all the other girls—and boys—whatever—that do like you and you can just pick whoever once you like the most” he grinned wide, though he let his cheeky expression fade as Theodore continued.
“Well I’ll put it this way, you also haven’t said anything to her about it and you’re constantly waxing poetic about her to Mia and me.” He leaned back in his chair as he shrugged slowly. “But what do I know. I’m just your best mate….”
The mood decidedly shifted and his smile faded altogether, Pheobus nodded as Theodore made his choice. A humourless chuckle left him as he made him promise “yes, yes, I promise. I’ll send for you when shes awake.” He stood then, stretching his hands high above his head, yawning deeply. “I’ll be okay, you know I’ll be out like Nox when I hit that pillow” he jerked his head at the space next to Mia on the bed. “You get some rest, do you…do you need anything?” He asked, his tone soft. Phoebus knew his sleeping issues were a touchy subject, but he wanted to make sure his friend was actually going to sleep…
Theodore felt his heart lurch as Phoebus spoke, though Phoebus didn’t say it, Theodore knew the intention behind the request. He didn’t often speak of such things, he certainly couldn’t allow himself to even think of such things now, not with all of this going on, he needed to focus.
“I, um, no, it’s ok, I’ll have my elf sort everything for me.” Theodore stuttered, unsure how to navigate the sensitive subject.
“Now which room do you want me to use? I don’t want to be too far away in case you need me.” Theodore asked, wishing to change the subject.
Phoebus cleared his throat, “Yeah uh, alright.” He grumbled, the room suddenly feeling too small and cramped. he fetched his elf, “get the room next door ready, and get Theodore’s elf to help you.”
He bade the boy goodnight, taking a deep breath before giving him a brief hug. “I hope you get some rest mate…” he spoke seriously, though let it dissipate after a small moment.
After he was sure Theodore was settled, he sunk down onto the bed next to Mia. After staring at the wall for… well, he didn’t know how long, he changed out of his clothes, and crashed into the pillow.
~*~*~
The morning came sooner than he’d expected it to, and he groaned as he sat up, blinking rapidly at the damned sliver to light being let in between the two thick velvet curtains. He turned to Mia, still asleep, and groaned once more. How was he supposed to convince her to go to hospital…how was Theodore supposed to bring any of this up to his dad when they barely understand it themselves? He rubbed his eyes, needing to get a hold of himself before Mia woke up—she’ll have a million questions of her own and they couldn’t both be in a flap, it wouldn’t help matters at all.
