It was the last night of the year. It’s almost midnight. The streets are empty and every house in town is lit up and alive. I watch as the silhouette of a family appear from a house’s window, right across where I sat. They seemed so happy. That must be a beautiful place to be. I don't remember the last time I spent New Years in a house... with a family. Though I still recall how good it felt to be in one. Being loved and cared for is the best gift any person could ever have. Then suddenly without you knowing, everything slips through your fingers, everyone disappears forever.
I had a family once. Like all normal kids. I too had a mom and a dad. The kind that takes good care of you whenever you got sick, takes you to school and makes sure you are home safe. Even if I was an only child, I never felt alone. My parents were the best. They were everything to me. Now that they’re gone I’ve never felt so alone in my life. Ever since that terrible night, I’ve been stuck here in this orphanage. For six years I have lived in this damned place.
“Do you miss them?” A voice said.
I look over to my shoulder and see Jessie, the only person that actually talks to me. I reply with a cold shudder and try to smile, hoping it would convince him to stop asking me questions.
“You missed supper,” He said, sighing as he approaches me to sit in my company.
“I thought you said you were gonna come down at eight? It’s almost midnight you know”.
“I’m sorry,” I replied, “I lost track of time.”
He shook his head and gave me a grin sarcastically. We fell silent until he looked at me, with the most worried eyes, and said;
“You do know that this isn't gonna help, right?”
I look away from his stare and lingered in silence. He broke the peace and spoke,
“Look Lily, What happened to your parents was and an accident--”
“No Jessie!” I scowled, “Don’t start with me.” I said as I walked away.
Nobody understands! Not one person. No one will ever realize how much pain I carry inside me every day, knowing that my parents are gone. In just one night. One night, and I lost them completely. If only I had listened to father and killed the lights. If only I chose to be brave and slept without the lights, they wouldn’t have risked their lives to try and save me in that fire. Every night, it’s the same nightmare over and over again! They wouldn’t be dead now if it weren't for me. It is my fault. I should have died, not them.
Nothing in this world is left for me. I carry nothing in this world but misfortune. I lost my parents, not even one of my relatives care to keep me, and I have no friends. What else is there to live for? Being in a situation like this, I might as well just end this life. Now look at this place. So cold, so empty.
Very slowly, I take a step forward, and lean closer. I can see the ground from whee I’m standing. I can see the snow gently falling from above. Breathing in the cold air I take a step closer to the edge and look up. The faint sound of counting; ten, nine, getting fainter, eight, seven, six, five, four, fainter... I feel the air caress my cheeks, three, two-- the darks sky envelops me-- one.
This is where I belong. I’m home.
romaincrisis
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
