Here's My Review

Frmo The Emerald Isle to HOLLYWOOD

[heresmyreview]

Fighting With My Family: A Missed Opportunity

What ever happened to the ROOT FOR FACTOR in the movies? The thing that makes the audience want to cheer along with the protagonist? That thing which, invites us, the audience, to go on the journey? Produced by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, “Fighting With My Family” suffers from a complete and utter lack of the root for factor.

The film tells the story of Saraya “Paige” Bevis, a professional wrestler, chronicling her journey to the  main roster of the WWE. And if you listen to this young woman talk, she has had one hell of story, just oozing with the Root For Factor. Unfortunately the film comes off as a cliff notes version of her story. 

I was excited to watch this film. To steal from the wrestling vernacular, I am a mark for Paige. Any true wrestling fan knows she is one of the women responsible for the women’s revolution in the wrestling industry. During her run in NXT she was dubbed “The Anti-Diva”. So it would be interesting to see her story. Instead I was treated to a bio-by-numbers film. We get it all. But no heart. And yes, I have seen the reviews with people talking about the heart. What movie did they watch? 

Who to blame? The cast is pretty good. Veteran actors like Lena Headey, Nick Frost and Vince Vaughn are fine in the picture. And Florence Pugh does a fine job playing “Paige”. But it is all functional moments. And you must put the blame squarely on the shoulders of writer and director Stephen Merchant. The man best known for his roles in the original “Office” and other British comedies did not seem to understand the material he was working with.

He got the small details WRONG. For the Bevis siblings try-out with the WWE, it is at a taping of “Smack Down” but it is the signage and look of the show TODAY. Not how the show would have look in 2011 when Paige was signed. For the love of God, one of the production companies involved was WWE Studios. The final scene of the film, when Paige makes her WWE main roster debut, and gets the Divas Title, the actress portraying April “AJ Lee” Mendez looked nothing like her. Not saying Thea Trinidad needed to be a spiting image of AJ Lee, but her ring attire should be right.  It was not. It looked like the ring attire Trinidad CURRENTLY wears, where she performs under the name “Celina Vega”.

I know, read this and say either, “nick pick much?” Or, “NERRRRD!” Hopefully on the second one you heard Homer Simpson’s voice. But as a Director, if you visually cannot get it right, then you really cannot ask me to suspend belief. 

But here is the real problem. Merchant does not seem to be a fan of Professional Wrestling. Like director Bennett Miller of “Moneyball”, who made a baseball movie with no passion for the game of baseball. Because what was missing from the film was Paige’s passion for Wrestling. All one has to do is listen to the real Paige’s retirement speech, and you understand Saraya loves that business. You could feel her heart breaking as she acknowledges she will not step in the squared circle as an in-ring performer again. ALL MISSING from the picture.

Paige comes off not as a woman chasing a dream, but a kid living out her family’s goal. Your brothers couldn’t get it done, so it is your job. And that hurts the narrative of the story. Because why would I care? Everything comes out the “outsider” playbook. Traveling far from home? CHECK. Unable to bond with teammates? CHECK. Problems with the jealous person back home? CHECK. Needed mentor? DOUBLE CHECK. Triumphant finale? CHECK. Only thing missing was the unrequited love interest.

Ah, but isn’t this a true story? Yes and no. Like all bio-pictures, details are left out, with some “new” characters who are an amalgamation of real people. Obviously Vince Vaughn’s character is a composite of a number of people. Hence many bio-films use the phrase “inspired by…”. And no one wants to make sure we get every single life moment on the screen. It is a movie not a dissertation. Films like “Ray”, “Walk The Line” or “42” did not give us life from conception to death. But there was the heart of the story.

Look, I am not trashing the cheap squeezing of “The Rock” into her life. The exclusion of people like Triple H, Emma and “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes is a bummer but not a killer.  Let’s take Vince Vaughn’s Hutch Morgan. The NXT trainer, though we never see him train anyone.  In fact it becomes a plot point he was a journeyman wrestler, a “jobber”. But we get none of that. This makes his heart to heart with Paige on why her brother did not belong in the WWE a wasted scene. As one of my acting teachers once said, the fight was great, unfortunately you did not earn it.

So when the lights came up, what a wasted opportunity. It doesn’t help they play real footage and it has the heart missing from the actual movie. Maybe “The Rock” will do a sequel, about her post debut to retirement. And then hire a writer and director who brings the heart.

[heresmyreview]

Less Ain’t More

Went to watch Ocean’s Eight, the newest chapter in the popular Ocean’s Franchise.  Replacing George Clooney, Brad Pitt and crew is Sandra Bullock and Cate Blanchett.  Bullock portrays Clooney’s character’s younger sister, Debbie Ocean.   And like the first film, Ocean is released from jail, and immediately finds her partner in crime and puts together a heist.   Instead of hitting a Casino or a major piece of art.   This crew are robbing a jewel necklace from the Met Gala in New York City!

First what is good.   To steal from the online video channel Cinema Sins, Sarah Paulson is always a win.   Her Tammy is a suburban housewife, who works as a fence.   In fact one of the funniest moments in the film is her explaining to Debbie that she is no longer a fence when standing in a garage of obivously stolen merchandise.   And Rihanna as the team’s hacker is great.  For an inexperienced actress, she holds her own with ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS Bullock, Blanchett and Hathaway.   You cannot help but to love her Nine Ball.   And finally Blanchett.   Now we all know this Aussie has got game.    Since she appeared on the scene as Elizabeth I, she is just a black belt of acting.   And Blanchett gives us a wonderful broad.  And she revels in the part.   Her Lou is obviously this crew’s Rusty.  But she takes the position, and makes it her own, making you ask, “Brad who?”

Here is the issue with the film.  Director Gary Ross (The Hunger Games) wastes a majority of the brilliant cast.    You have America’s sweetheart, Bullock, who at times just comes off as a bitch.  Not a powerful, liberated woman.  Just a bitter, bitter bitch.  It is really hard at times to root for Debbie.   She comes off as dismissive of the other members of the crew.  It really not into the heist before she gets the “root for factor” going.  And Bullock is like Clooney, they have a natural likability, even if they are the “bad guy” you kinda root for them.

Anne Hathaway, an actress who built her early career in comedies, seems to be constantly begging the audience for a laugh.   That has to be on the director.  An actress like Hathaway doesn’t stop being able to do comedy because she  has been doing drama recently.   Mindy Kaling appears her real function in the team is to be the d.u.f.f. for the team.  I am not saying she is ugly or fat, but she is the character having to be told about tinder.  Can you say waste?  Yes, I think you can.   Helena Bonham Carter, was the direction just look like you are going to have a panic attack at any minute, and we will dress you eccentric.  And her performance demonstrates her wasted skills in this film.  Her wonderful Irish lilt.  Even English actors have a tendency to lean into the “Top O’ The Morning” Irish accent.  

Full disclosure on actress Amkwafina, I have ZERO idea if she is wasted.  Looking at IMDB, I have seen nothing she is.  But nothing in her performance screams, I’m going to be bummed if she is replaced in an Ocean’s Nine.

The only truly weak link acting wise is Richard Armitage, the patsy for the heist.  He gives a “Cad By Numbers” performance.  You don’t even enjoy watching him go down.  It is like oh,.  Okay.  Next?

Now if you scroll down this blog you will see an entry entitled, “Just Stop”.  In it I decried the remaking films by just switching the genders of the leads.  I mention this film, as it was announced not as a sequel/ spin-off but an actual reboot.  Thankful it is not with cameos of Elliot Gould and Qin Shaobo.  So on this, Ocean’s 8 is a major step above 2016’s Ghostbusters.   And the basic plot is fine, even the revenge on the man who sent her to jail story beat.  

Where Ocean’s Eight really struggles, is the uneven pacing of the film and the true lack of a strong antagonists.  The first three movies had the kinetic energy of the ticking clock, and great antagonists Andy Garcia, Vincent Cassel and Al Pacino.   This movie does not.  The met could be months away, or days.  The pacing of the film never convenes this.  It prods along.    And as I mentioned before, setting her ex up to take the fall, is not that exciting or interesting.  

All heist films, you are asking the audience to root for criminals.  These are people who are robbing people.   So if we look at the first three films.  Man takes another man’s wife.  So let’s rob him, and make him look stupid.  Fellow thief, breaks the code and tells the mark where we are.   Let’s get that punk!  This guy almost killed one of ours, and stole from him.  Oh that SOB is going down.   There is none of this in the film.   In fact, at times, the film has more in common with the Rat Pack lead original.  That film, has no real pacing and Cesar Romero is not that big of antagonist.  That film was made, basically because four out of five Rat Pack members were already performing in Vegas, so why not make a movie.  And this one, it is like the producers felt, our cast is so good, no need to worry about those details.  Ah, the other cast was just as impressive.  And you did worry about it.

That said, there are elements that would make the possibility of a second outing of this crew, worth possible checking out.   Even a possible cross over between the two branches of the franchise.  Oh wait, they screwed that up.  They added a completely unnecessary and STUPID plot point for…   I cannot figure it out.

[heresmyreview]

Batman & Harley Quinn

If you are a member of the “Cult Of The Bat”, then any time there is an opportunity to see the Dark Knight on the big screen you take it.  So like some people I jumped at the Fathom Events screening of the latest offering from Warner Brothers Animation, Batman and Harley Quinn, and have to say one thing.  CASTING, CASTING, CASTING!

The iconic Kevin Conroy returned to perform the voice of Batman, and he brought in his former sidekick Loren Lester, once again voicing Nightwing.   Two new additions were added.  Melissa Rauch from The Big Bang Theory takes on Harley Quinn.  And Criminal Minds’ Paget Brewster takes on Harley’s Partner In Crime Poison Ivy.   And to say they were underwhelming is an understatement.  

Rauch’s performance lacked the life that the originator Arleen Sorkin, plus the glee of Margot Robbie.  And yes it would cruel to compare here to these actresses.  But… her interpretation comes of like a junior high production of Guys And Dolls with her playing Miss Adelaide.  It was a one dimensional performance.  And to say it is just a cartoon, remember twenty Five years ago, she started as a cartoon character.

As for Poison Ivy, Brewster was functional in her character.  But it just was not Ivy. Diane Pershing was the first actress to really bring her to life.  Though outside fans may only remember Uma Thurman’s campy performance in 1997’s Batman And Robin.    What Paget Brewster did not bring to the character was her strength.  Ivy is always a strong character.  She may be over the top in actions to save the environment.   But she is always the head villainess in charge.  

Outside of this, it is a solid story.  Involving the titular Quinn teaming up with the Caped Crusaders to help track down her friend who has teamed up with The Floronic Man.  And the vibe of the story craft by Batman: The Animated Series writer Bruce Timm and director Sam Liu does have a fun forties slap stick vibe.   And Harley’s time singing at a henchmen’s dive bar is hilarious.

But I return to the casting and vocal performances of the two actresses.  Let’s us home when Warner Brothers adds Gotham City Sirens to the DCEU, they spend a little more time when casting Poison Ivy and Catwoman.  Or we could get another Uma Thurman and Halle Berry.   Not good, not good. 

[heresmyreview]

Just Stop

So Anne Hathaway and Rihanna have signed on to the Sandra Bullock lead all female remake of “Ocean's 11”, entitled “Ocean’s 8”. Rebel Wilson and an actress to be named later will replace the iconic duo of Steve Martin and Michael Caine in a remake of “Dirty Rotten Scoundrels”. Walt Disney is remaking their 80s cult classic “The Rocketeer” with a yet to be cast African American woman. Add that to the “Ghostbusters” remake this summer, and I have to say, “Just Stop!” This going through hit movies of the past and saying “Let’s do it with chicks”, has to come to an end. What is accomplished? Not great roles for talented Actresses. No they are getting half-assed re-written roles for Men. I’m sorry I do not want Halle Berry in “Beverly Hills Cop”. Nothing against Ms. Berry, but no. Do we really need “Back To The Future” with Mary-Anne McFly traveling to 1993? Studios are chasing another “Bridesmaids”. You know that original script, written by a woman with women characters. An exceptionally funny film, with a cast that really works together, but not a rehash of a previous film, with the male leads replaced by women. And that is the true “women power” way. Summer 2016 is not over yet, but already we are looking towards Summer 2017. And I have to say, the one film I want to see… Wonder Woman. The trailer for this film was great. It looks like a fun time at the movies, yet it is clear this is a film about a woman, to inspire and delight woman. Rumors are Warner is looking to add a Harley Quinn lead film, plus a possible “Birds Of Prey” film to the DCEU. All which are female centric stories. That is what needs to happen, the goal should not be rehash male roles for women in some sort of warped “women's lib”. The studios and production companies should be looking to create new and original product. And when it takes a critique, relax. Remember SONY went on a campaign to say anyone who was against “Ghostbusters” was anti-woman, pictures with the cast and Hillary Clinton. The fact the trailer looked they wiped their butts with a beloved classic, irrelevant. Where are the real attempts to put together great women films, to really allow great actresses to be showcased together? Is it wrong to put together, Sandra Bullock, Anne Hathaway and others in a heist film. No, with the right script it could be great. But an original story would be better. Robbing a casino, “Ocean’s 11 & 13” did it better. Now this is not a hard rule. In 1985 playwright Neil Simon reworked his “The Odd Couple” to be female centric. Not lying but I’d love to see a film with Zoe Saldana as Florence Unger and Kate McKinnon as Olivia Madison. And there are rumors Sly Stallone is looking for a female spin-off of “The Expendables” called “ExpendaBellas” (hopefully working title). If Sigourney Weaver, Linda Hamilton and Michelle Yeoh are in it, I’m in. Last and the upcoming “Star Wars” films have female leads. And who knows, Marvel might make a Black Widow movie. And in case people want to call me sexists. Did anyone see that total waste of film was the “remake” of “Adventures In Babysitting” called “The Sitter” with Jonah Hill in the Elizabeth Shue role. And there is “Splash” being remade with Channing Tatum in the Daryl Hannah role. Oh that seems like a good call. Basically, Hollywood you want my money STOP THE LAZY!

[heresmyreview]

Ya Say You Want A Revolution...

2015 has been loosely called the year of the woman athlete.  With the domination of MMA powerhouse "Rowdy" Ronda Rousey, the impressive win of team USA in the FIFA Women's World Cup and the overpowering performance of tennis star Serena Williams.  But there was another woman sports movement not getting a lot of national attention.  Down in Florida, a women's revolution was occurring in professional wrestling.  The world’s premiere pro-wrestling promotion WWE, through their developmental promotion NXT was starting a change in how they presented their female performers.   Suddenly the fans are taking them seriously as wrestlers, chants of "This is Awesome" and "This is Wrestling" during Divas matches were common.  A quartet of women, dubbed the Four Horsewomen, were leading the way.

Up on the main roster, it was a different story.  Women were not really part of the show beyond a bathroom/ snack break match during the “real” action, or just eye candy.  And right after WrestleMania, their top and most popular performer AJ Lee retired.  Leaving the division rutter less.  Added to that, poor and almost stupid booking weakened what should have been a strong champion.  Story lines were started and stopped, like the "writers" were getting high or waiting to get to the arena before deciding what the women should do.

And then a big announcement, three of the NXT quartet have been promoted to the main roster, and the new #DivasRevolution.  Suddenly the seriousness of the development group was going to be translated to the main roster.  And it looked good for a second.  Longer matches, matches that were over the commercial break, change was in the air.  Turns out, new players same lame game. What is the story beyond, ah a revolution has begun?  Basically we are treated to a battle of trios, with each group trading wins, with no really coherent stories.

Current Divas Champion, Nikki Bella, is a prime example of missing the boat.  Currently she is on pace to be the longest reigning Divas Champion, which should be an exciting thing.  Unfortunately the booking of her reign seems to be based on screwing CM Punk, whose wife is the current record holder.  Which blows for the fans, and is completely disrespectful of the performer currently with the strap.  Over a year ago, at Summer Slam, Nikki Bella was starting a heel run, which she was killing with.  Betrayal of her sister, mistreatment of her sister, working with The Authority and the ability to generate good heel heat with the crowd.  To say she was "getting over" was an understatement.  She had, and still has, all the makings of a quality heel.  But then booking got involved, and suddenly the problems between the twins was dropped, and the Bellas changed from heel to babyface with the flip of a coin.

Where the hell is Natalya?  The daughter of "The Anvil" has been missing from the revolution.  And even before that, she had been delegated to being eye candy with her husband's tag team.    She is probably the best female in ring performer on any wrestling promotions roster on the planet.  That is just a fact.  But for whatever reason she has been put on the role of, hell if I know.  A well known jobber?

What is the point of the trios?  Only one of the trio of women really works well together.  And that is Team Bella as they are the veteran performers in the locker room.   Team PCB, do have two of the Horsewomen, but the group just seems to be together because they are the babyfaces.  And Team BAD, seems to be we just needed a place for Naomi and Sasha Banks, oh and let's throw Tamina in there as well.   I guess we were lucky for being spared Team And The Rest, putting together the remaining Divas.

Now let me reiterate, the problem is with the booking aka the writing.  Not the performers.  These women are doing the best they can with the what they are given.   The Diva match at Summer Slam was a major let down.  Was anyone surprised that Tamina was the one who took the hit for team BAD?  And the crowd chanting, "We want Sasha" was not a good sign.  This was followed by this Monday's BS beat the clock gimmick for number #1 contender.  They were rushed.

If I were booking, this is what I'd do.  Add a second Diva's match to NOC.  A tag team match between Naomi & Tamina vs Brie & Alicia.  And give the women time.  And let them open the show.  Team BAD should get the win, with Tamina getting the pin.  Then at the Championship bout, Nikki Bella should retain by disqualification.  But not what is expected.  This is where Natalya should return, interfering against Charlotte, costing her the title.   However... Team Bella should attempt to embrace her as a new member of the group, but...  Natalya should strike against Nikki, take the strap hold it up, before disappearing into the crowd.  That gets them through Night Of Champions.

Moving forward into Hell In A Cell, a strong change of direction for the entire division.  RAW should open with Natalya dropping a pipe bomb promo.  Basically playing off her real life on Total Divas, where Nattie is go along to get along.  Interrupted by Team PCB & Team BAD all stating Nattie's time is over.   Which triggers the interruption by Stephanie McMahon, declaring a tournament to determine the top 2 contenders to the title.  Which will be defended at HIAC, inside the cage in a 3-WAY DANCE.  My choice Sasha Banks and Natalya, either one can take the strap.

But what really needs to happen is the WWE needs to hire an Executive Producer to work directly with the DIVAS.  Not someone who is at headquarters, or only appears at TV tapings.  Someone who is on the road with them, really pushing for them, helping them craft better stories.  A cheerleader saying there needs to be DIVAS only episodes of Main Event or Superstars.  Maybe even their own special on the WWE Network.

But hey what do I know, I'm just a mark.

[heresmyreview]

Not My Childhood

A small request to people who make movies in Hollywood, please stop taking a major dump on my childhood! If you have seen the disgusting trailer for the unnecessary sequel/ reboot of the Terminator franchise, Terminator: Genisys, you know what I mean. If you didn't think Terminator: Salvation was not a blemish enough, here you go. I am not saying rebooting or resetting franchises are wrong. After 20 films it was good to reset 007. And after 6 television series and 10 feature films, Star Trek was due for reboot. 

But recently I have heard more "reboots" are coming. Disney is looking to reboot the Indiana Jones series without Ford, Spielberg & Lucas, and with Chris Pratt in the lead. One big movie does not an Indy make, I liked Guardians of the Galaxy, but you ain't Indy. And reason for the reboot, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was so bad, it needs to deleted from the history. First is not that bad, yes it is the weakest of the four movies. But is still a fun time at the movies. But, the right actor could carry on the tradition without a reboot. Remember Raiders was set in 1936, Temple in 1935, Crusade in 1912 & 1938, and Kingdom in 1957. And a nice tid-bit of information, Indiana Jones was born when Eon Productions turned down Spielberg's interest in directing a Bond film. 

Sony may or may not reboot Spider-man? Will there be a third or rebooted Tomb Raider film? A possible new Zorro? 

But is just not reboots. Growing up, three of my favorite shows were The A-Team, The Dukes Of Hazzard and Miami Vice. All three of these films were utter shite! Miami Vice was shocking in the fact the director Michael Mann was the Executive Producer of the TV show in the 80s. So literally he screwed up his own project. The team behind Dukes openly said they wanted to do Smokey & The Bandit, hence Burt Reynolds as Boss Hogg instead of Danny Devito. So remake that movie, don't rework something else. FYI, if that is your take on the Bandit movies, you missed it. And before you say that the Dukes were based on the less family friendly Moonshiners. It wasn't, it was inspired by, not based on. Different concepts. As for the group that made The A-Team film, did anyone actually watch the TV show. The A-Team was a show that was about a group of Commandos who help people, and had to do it with very limited resources. But the movie had none of the charm. Bradley Cooper's take on Face was horrible. It was so horrible, I can only now start to enjoy Mister Cooper's work. Rampage Jackson did not have like ability of Mr. T. And the less said about Sharlto Copley as "Howling Mad" Murdock the better. The great casting of my man Liam was wasted. There was this stupid plot about a CIA operative who did not really exist. Jessica Biel was added to the cast as the DCIS agent looking to capture the A-Team, was the only interesting part of the film, but was given very little to play with. And the story was more of a political statement about private security firms like Blackwater. 

As for more, I have read that there are plans to bring Knight Rider to the screen as a buddy comedy. Starring, hand to God, Chris Pratt and Danny McBride. But the question becomes, will they respect the material? I think not. 

Now one can change genres, and be respectful of the source material. Like 1987's Dragnet or 1995's The Brady Bunch Movie. Both films could be considered parodies of the originals, but are respectful of the source materials. 

After 5 movies, with an unconnected continuity, two spin-off television series, an animated series, and an Anime feature, Highlander is a prime candidate for reboot. Particularly the fifth film which did not even get a theatrical release. But how is the question. Will they understand the heart of the character, his struggle to survive in a world where he is alone, and those he loves die? But they'll get someone who did a kickass Super Bowl ad and to put together scene after scene of sword fights, in the modern world. It has been announced that Dave "The Animal" Bautista has been cast as the Kurgan. Yes he was good in Guardians Of The Galaxy and is in the new Bond film Spectre, but does he have chops to be this villain. Clancy Brown, brought a realism to this character, I am not sure this professional wrestler can. Another report has production is looking for Tom Cruise to play the role of Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobos Ramírez, the role originally played by Sean Connery in The Highlander and Highlander II: The Quickening. Mister Cruise is an extremely talented actor, but this is not a role for him. There is an air, only a European can bring to it. If it was me, I'm looking for either Antonio Banderas or Pierce Brosnan. And who plays MacLeod? 

Other times, you get news of casting that gets you excited. Example, Bewitched, when you first hear the cast, Nicole Kidman as Samantha, Will Ferrell as Darren, Shirley MacLaine as Endora and Michael Caine as Maurice. Directed by romantic comedy queen the late Nora Ephron. This is going to be awesome! It was not. It was some jackassed thing about a real witch Isabel Bigelow being cast in a remake of Bewitched, with a d-bag star playing Darren. And apparently Sony has been pitching a sequel series around, this time focusing on Tabitha's daughter Daphne. At least the original spin-off Tabitha attempt to be as sweet as the original. 

 A huge excuse made, well this is how I thought it should be. And it is always about the original missing the mark. Apparently they did not, as it is considered a classic enough you are remaking it. 

And I am not saying you have to be religiously loyal to the original source material. Two prime examples of understanding this are two Sci-Fi adaptations. 1998's Lost In Space and 2003's re-imagined Battlestar Galactica.  Lost In Space was a series that air on CBS from 1965 to 1968. At its core, it is a story of a family, and the love this family has for each other. And while the movie, does up the effects, at the core it's a movie about the love of the Robinsons for each other. The original Battlestar Galactica aired on ABC in 1978. And it was not a commercial success, but had a cult like following. It was coming a year after Star Wars and a year before Star Trek: The Motion Picture. It had a failed attempt with an ill conceived follow up/ spin off Galactica 1980. But eventually Star Trek: The Next Generation alumnus Ronald Moore, made it a morality tale. And created four seasons of the best sci-fi on television. 

This summer found a great adaptation. Denzel Washington replaced Edward Woodward as Robert McCall aka The Equalizer. The story was modernized, and slightly more violent. But the film ended with him posting an ad on Craigslist, identifying himself as The Equalizer. 

Sony has just released the graphic for HE-MAN And The Masters of The Universe, plus a still of Battle Cat. Is this a good sign, or just an artistic reach around? Who knows? It could be a great look at a childhood dream or it could be another disappointment. 

If you are going to adapt something from the past, please respect your source.

[heresmyreview]

A Fan's Note To The WWE

Recently the WWE had their first Pay Per View of the year, The Royal Rumble, and once again, the WWE Universe let the people behind the curtain know they were not happy.  I personally did not like the Rumble's finish.  I was hoping for Dolph Ziggler to get the title shot at WrestleMania, however I could not be mad at Roman Reigns.  Why?  Cause he didn't do a damn thing wrong!

But if you read the reaction, there are apparently a large group of people who believe they should be running the biggest wrestling promotion.  Everyone knows how to do things better.  The tone of the complaints are basically the WWE creative team does not know what they are doing.  Yes they do.  They went from a regional northeastern promotion, to almost going out of business to being the largest promotion on the planet.  They are four generations into this industry, you have to assume they might have an insight or two.

Now, I can honestly say, minus the triple threat championship match, the entire show was a let down.   Four tag team matches in a row.  Nothing of any interest.  The weakest was the opening match between The New Age Outlaws and the Ascension.  But really the Rumble itself was a let down.  Though they were some highlights.  The return of ECW great Bubba Ray Dudley in Philly was great.  And Rusev really standing out as a heel by rolling out of the ring and waiting to strike, was great.

That said, the Main Event did not make a memorial mark.  Both fan favorites Daniel Bryant and Dolph Ziggler were eliminated way to early.  The surprise Boogeyman entry was a spot that should have gone to NXT Star Adrian Neville.  And if the Rumble had of been in Atlanta then WCW Star Diamond Dallas Page makes sense.  But they were in Philadelphia, home of EC F'N W, Tommy Dreamer makes more sense.  And the finish was underwhelming.  It just seemed it took forEVER for Kane and Big Show to go over the top rope.  And the appearance of The Rock was a bad sign.  It meant the WWE knew the crowd was not going to be happy with their decision.

So, while I openly admit, I have no idea about the true inner workings of World Wrestling Entertainment.  I have some thoughts, so here are my armchair Quarterback thoughts. So get me a beer and listen up.

This is what the WWE needs to do.

Remember the Sport in Sports Entertainment.

If one listens to "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's podcast The Steve Austin Show Unleashed one learns that, "It's wrestling god damn it!"  While Professional Wrestling is pre-determined outcomes, the performers do attempt amazing ATHLETIC feats.  All of which require great trust in the partner/ opponent.  But they also have belts which symbolize championships.  If you watch ROH Wrestling, they put up a "tale of the tape" graphic with stats on the screen, and TNA Wrestling is starting to do the same.  Same as MMA & Boxing bouts.  In those sports all the fighters are ranked.  This would give every match on TV some meaning.  And will help fill out cards, where no feud was started.

Also, divisions and commissioners bring the product back into the sports realm.  An authority figure, either someone like Hulk Hogan to stand against The Authority or Kevin Nash to be the enforcer for The Authority.  Break everyone up into divisions, and not covertly complicated:

Main Event - those wrestlers in the hunt for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship

Mid-card - those wrestlers in the hunt for the IC/ US title

Light Heavyweights - those smaller wrestlers in the hunt for the Light Heavyweight Championship

Tag Team - those wrestlers who are in tag teams

Revive the ECW brand

Under what has been branded the PG era, the adult audience members are forced out.  While TNA Wrestling is moving to be an adult alternative, one look at Impact Wrestling on Destination America, they are not.  So we as an audience are getting more "gimmicky" characters.  Now there are some performers who are playing the hilt out of their gimmick, but ...  Curtis Hussey is not being helped by the Fandango gimmick, nor have Eddie "Primo" Colón and Orlando "Epico" Colón made waves as Los Matadores with El Torito or how far can Mattias Clement go with the the Tyler Breeze character?  And be honest it would be easier to really enjoy the Rhodes Brothers if it was Cody Rhodes and "The Natural" Dustin Rhodes instead of Gold and Star Dust.

One also has to look at the under stellar runs of Curtis Axel or of NXT Star Bo Dallas.  Talent like Titus O'Neil, Zack Ryder or David Otunga never seem to get any traction.

Late last year when the WWE Network had the special "ECW Exposed", former owner Paul Heyman said where he saw the promotion would be if it had of survied.  And yes, there will a certain amount of hardcore matches, but what you also could see, is more Lucha Libre and maybe some Puroresu (Japanese Wrestling).  Another thing which would be interesting on a program with the word EXTREME in it.  Exposing the American wrestling audience to a form of wrestling from Mexico called Exoticos.  Basically a glam rock/ drag queen look to pro wrestling.

On Austin's podcast HHH stated that they are currently catering to a wide audience, kids, parents and single adults, so they struggle on the balance.  But if you do a show that airs exclusively on the WWE Network, you are only catering with set audience.  And because the Network is different from ANY OTHER network, parental guidance control block the children from watching!  So if children see it, that's just bad parenting.

Combine the Intercontinental Championship with the US Championship

When I was growing up, when the WWF placed the Intercontinental belt on people it meant something. The IC belt was the stepping stone to the WWF World Championship.  It was for the Ultimate Warrior, Bret "The Hitman" Hart and Shawn Michaels.  Even when Mr. Perfect and Razor Ramon had that strap it meant something.  And to this day one of coolest moments with IC was seeing Rowdy Roddy Piper beat the Mountie at the 1992 Royal Rumble for the Intercontinental Championship.

The US Championship is officially the last holdover from World Championship Wrestling.  And it has caused no real interest in awhile.  What was the big moment from Sheamus's reign or the long reign of Dean Ambrose?  Right now it should be drawing some interest, as the Anti-American, Russia loving,  Unstoppable Monster Rusev has the strap.  But him having a title has meant nothing...

Plus with two titles at the mid card level, both become meaningless.   Also the titles area not actively defended.  And the IC belt has traded between so many people in one year.  Does anyone care that Wade Barrett got back a title he never lost?  

And heading into WrestleMania is a pretty good place to do this.  Set up a Three-way elimination match.  You have Intercontinental Champion Wade "Bad News" Barret vs. United States Champion Rusev vs. Challenger Dolph Ziggler.  You have Rusev take out Barret, and then Ziggler hands Rusev his first lose.  And on the following RAW, Ziggler is crowned the Undisputed Intercontinental Champion.

So if one needs to go, it should be WCW's, since they lost the war.

Revive the WWF Light Heavyweight Championship

WCW's greatest, and ironically overlooked, contribution to professional wrestling was the Cruiserweight division.   ECW may have brought Lucha to the US, but it was WCW that showcased it for a national audience.  The WWE version of this was the Light Heavyweight Championship.  The WWF launched this title back in 1987 as part a partnership with the now defunct Mexican wrestling promotion the Universal Wrestling Promotion, and then from '95 to '97 it was used as part of an agreement with New Japan Pro Wrestling.  In 1997 it officially came to the WWF.  Men like Christian, Dean Malenko, Jeff Hardy and X-Pac all held this title.  When WCW was purchase by WWF in 2001, this title was dropped in favor of the Cruiserweight championship.

And there have been a lack high flyers or smaller guys.  But their are some coming up.  Both of the Lucha Dragons from NXT, Adrian Nevile also from NXT, and some other people on the roster.  Also, as it would technically be a second mid-card title, make it exclusive to Smack Down, and have the Intercontinental belt exclusive to RAW.

Place a dedicated producer focus on the Divas Division

If you look at the WWE Divas, there are some truly talented women.  AJ Lee, Natalya, Paige, Alicia Fox & Naomi are talent wrestlers that can do some serious work in the ring.  Both the Bellas are improving their in ring talents, as are Layla & Summer Rae.   Cameron , Rosa Mendes and Eva Marie are becoming solid performers, but could be utilized more.   And don't forget Tamina Snuka will be returning, plus Emma has been sent down to NXT to get a jump start to her career.  

And basic sport logic would say, Charlotte, Bailey and Sasha Banks time in NXT is coming to an end.  But why would they leave for maybe a two minute match on Superstars?  Currently TNA's Knockouts are given more respect.  Are they better?  No.   It is just the women are given the opportunity to work.  Hell on the YouTube series NWA Ringside, I watched a match between the NWA Women's Champion Barbi Hayden against Portia Perez.   And this was in the regional NWA Inspire Pro promotion.  And these two women were allowed time to do their thing.   Side note, when will Hayden be recruited to NXT?

What needs to happen, on Main Event, Superstars, and even Smackdown, the women need to be given the time to show what they can do.  This will allow them to get over with the crowd, and thus show they can have bigger roles on RAW and on the PPV.

Stop allowing Total Divas dictate your story lines.  E! is not known for it's quality story telling.  And allowing this show to dictate the story lines, is only insulting to your loyal fanbase.   Plus the number of people who watch E! probably not big pro wrestling fans.

And take advantage of the NXT Arena at Full Sail University.  The WWE has had very good success with their NXT Takeover events on the WWE Network.   Why not have a special on the Network, shot at a facility you already have, and make it a Divas only event.  Call it Ladies Night!

FYI, Triple H is for it, he said so on Austin's live podcast.

Heel Turn For John Cena

On his recent appearance on Austin's podcast, Triple H states he likes to slow burn storylines.  Well here is a way to do just that.  There is no way to deny John Cena is the biggest thing in Professional Wrestling right now.   No matter what fans say, he is still the big man on campus.   But... the "Cena Sucks" chants are becoming more and more loud.   And Cena is like Hulk Hogan in WCW 1996, when the crowds booed him.  He "betrayed" WCW, formed the nWo with Nash and Hall and then told the fans to stick it.  And when the nWo was brought to WWE, and Hulk eventually returns to the Red and Yellow of Hulkamania, it was a story of redemption.

Cena needs this as well. Triple H was right when he said, Cena packs arenas and pushes merch.  But, the character is stale.  Not a failing of Cena, or a slam against the man.  The hero who overcomes is boring.  Even the "suffering" at the hands of Brock Lesnar, was a little, "Been there, done that, already lost the t-shirt".  He needs a road to redemption.  At Fastlane, Cena should lose to Rusev via disqualification.  And then @ RAW, officially join with the Authority telling the fans to symbolically F off.   And set a path from WrestleMania 31 in Santa Clara to WrestleMania 32 in Dallas which takes Cena from the Authority back to Cenation.

Bring back managers & valets to the show

It is simple, look at Brock Lesnar, Seth Rollins and Rusev.  All three of these heel performers have either had a manager, valets or spokesperson.   With Brock Lesnar and CM Punk, Paul Heyman can make the case he is one of the greatest managers in wrestling, second only to Bobby "The Brain" Heenan.  It would been nice to see what he could have done when he found his groove with Curtis Axel or Cesaro.  Rusev has truly benefited from the work of Lana as his spokesperson.  And Seth Rollins has gotten over great as a heel due to his valets J & J Security.

When I was a kid, all heels had managers or valets. From The Weasel, Mr. Fuji, Jim Cornette, Sherri Martel to Miss Elizabeth.  It allowed heels to be heels.  Heels cheat, that's what makes them heels.  

Right now, there are no managers per se.  Something to be worked into the WWE Performance Center program.  But, there are valets available.  A large portion of the Divas Roster could "double" as valets.  In fact minus Paige and maybe AJ Lee, unless her hubby comes back, every single Diva can do valet duty.  Layla, Summer Rae and currently Rosa Mendes have been "dance partners" for Fandango.  Now both Naomi & Natalya have been joining their real life husbands to the ring, but the reason?  Who the f knows.

As for managers, not a whole lot of options.  Paul Heyman cannot manage every up & comer.  But, "The Nature Boy" Ric Flair has talked about wanting to manage.  There are a couple of people he could work with, Zack Ryder, Darren Young and Damien Sandow (Mizdow).  Another avenue is followers.  While Harper and Rowan have flourished once set free from Bray Wyatt.  But Wyatt has floundered since.  He he was stronger with followers.   Imagine what would happen if Wyatt brought on The Ascension as disciples, hey there is your feud for A New Day.

In Conclusion

The WWE is not on the verge of collapse, or even a major fan revolt.   Subscriptions are on the rise for the WWE Network, the talent coming out of NXT is truly impressive, and if Paul "Triple H" Levesque is truly the one in charge down there, then WWE will be in good hands.

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What This Blog Is For...

I have two other blogs I write. One, The Ni'Ni Files, is a personal blog, being honest with my life and my struggles. A second one, I Don't Wanna Bitch But..., a political blog professing Libertarian ideals. But with McCusker Entertainment, I want to put out my thoughts on this business we call show. Sometimes it will be review of TV show, a movie or some fad. I do not know. The name McCusker Entertainment came into existence when I was working on Doctor 90210. I was also working a Production Consultant for Intersection Productions, and I thought I might need to incorporate, but I did not, but I bought the domain mccuskerentertainment.com, and have never really used it. So, hopefully this will the beginning of something interesting.

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