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Mel / 26 / Back on Tumble after 12 years

[heretosmelltheroses]

My life is a series of honest mistakes

[heretosmelltheroses]

You’re telling me that I’ve been susceptible to propaganda this whole time!

[heretosmelltheroses]

I either feel small or huge

But I never feel ‘midsize’ which is what I am actually

The platitudes of being a midsize girl.

My size is categorized in relation to who i am surrounded by.

If I am surrounded by people who are larger, I am smaller. If I am surrounded by smaller people, I am larger.

But I am never just middle, average size.

[heretosmelltheroses]

sometimes it feels like it's my first day on earth

[stuckinapril]

you seem avoidant for a girl who’s so hungry to experience the full breadth of human connection

[radiation]

[mifinar]

Errol Le Cain

[heretosmelltheroses]

I think I’ve been dyslexic this whole time and no one bothered to tell me

[heretosmelltheroses]

mom would be proud of me, this morning I did all my difficult tasks first.

[bonivers]

this is really how it feels

[heretosmelltheroses]

id like to stop spending money but I cannot find the will

[medievalthymes]

how it feels to read 85 pages of a book in one sitting

[kosmogrl]

[heretosmelltheroses]

I am so embarrassed by my early twenty year-old self

how do people learn to live with themselves

[heretosmelltheroses]

[fiere-violet]

Painting of the northern lights, as observed from Finland, in 1901, by the Danish painter Harald Moltke (1871-1960)

[heretosmelltheroses]

ONE of the more depressing things about this modern era TO ME, is that humans are further distancing themselves from nature.

Back in my day, or at least several days ago, when people took a hallucinogen like shrooms or acid, the collective experience was feeling one with nature. Seeing the trees breathes, seeing the stars connect, looking at a river and being mesmerized with Mother Nature and all the beauty she provides. If you took DMT, it was a common shared hallucination to see little elves working on your body.

Nowadays, people are having shared hallucinations of the world being made up of "code," just seeing a strip of numbers on the wall. Some people describe it as seeing the "matrix." And we are just continuing the dialogue that the world is a "simulation." Which is so stupid I don't even want to get into it.

and it just makes me sad because collectively as a culture we are unconsciously becoming more and more divorced from nature. To the point that we take hallucinogenic drugs and are seeing COMPUTERS. Technology, computers, and code is becoming apart of our given reality. These are human made concepts that don't exist in nature. But because we are so wound up in it, it's affecting our own perceptions of the world around us.

And this stupid simulation theory only exists because we make video games and create other fictional worlds we ask ourselves "hey, what if we are in a video game." And it's just crypto bros and programmers way of trying to understand the world around them.

Instead of looking at the world around us and seeing everything that exists without human intervention, and being amazed by the beauty of it all, we have to surround ourselves with human self-proclaimed concepts because it makes us feel more important than we are.