Chaotic gremlin best friends!!
⟢ "I need an alibi for Tuesday." - "What time." - "You didn't ask what I did." - "What time."
⟢ "Hypothetically." - "No." - "You didn't hear the question." - "Hypothetically no."
⟢ "I did something." - "Scale of one to ten." - "Depends who's asking." "Me." - "Seven." - "Police." - "Four." - "God." - "Thirteen."
⟢ "We need to leave."- "Why." - "I'll explain in the car." - "Why." - "I'll explain in a different country."
⟢ "This is your fault." - "You literally came up with the idea." - "I have bad ideas all the time, you're not supposed to DO them."
⟢ "Okay hear me out." - "My lawyer has advised me not to hear you out." - "You don't have a lawyer." - "I'm getting one specifically for conversations with you."
⟢ "Nobody got hurt." - "Physically." . "Nobody got physically hurt." - "Yet." - "Nobody has gotten physically hurt yet, which is a win."
⟢ "I have a type." - "Yeah?" - "People who are bad for me and you specifically." - "That's not a type that's a pattern." - "Same thing."
⟢ "What's the worst that could happen." - "I have a list. It's laminated. I made it specifically for when you say that."
⟢ "Rate my decision making." - "Historically or right now." - "Both." - "Zero. Consistent zero across the board."
⟢ "You're the only person I trust." - "I dropped your birthday cake last year and told you it arrived like that." - "Yeah but you still got me a cake."
⟢ "I need your honest opinion." - "It's bad." - "You didn't see it yet." - "I've met you. It's bad."
⟢ "Why do you even keep me around." - "Honestly? Entertainment. And you're warm in winter."
⟢ "I wasn't thinking." - "First time for everything." - "I resent that." - "Statistically valid though."
⟢ "On a scale of fine to not fine." - "Remember that time in Prague." - "We don't talk about Prague." - "That fine."
⟢ "Nobody panic but." - "I'm already panicking." - "I haven't said anything yet." - "I know you. I'm getting ahead of it."
⟢ "Promise you won't be mad." - "Absolutely not, that's a trap and I won't fall for it."
⟢ "I have good news and bad news." - "Good news first." - "The car is fine." - "And the bad." - "Define car."
⟢ "You're my emergency contact." - "I know." - "You're listed as my next of kin." - "I know." - "You're also listed as my therapist, my lawyer, and my spiritual advisor." - "I know." - "Do you want to talk about that." - "Nope." - "Cool."
⟢ "I'm a responsible adult."- "You once called me crying because you got your sleeve caught in a door and didn't know what to do." - "I was panicking." - "For forty minutes." - "It was really stuck."
⟢ "I regret everything." - "No you don't." - "No I don't but I feel like I should." - "Same honestly."
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