the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons.

you were so kind & beautiful before they dragged you to hell.

[herofell]

THEY'RE AFRAID OF ME NOW.

they say he killed his entire family. just burned the house down one night, with everyone else inside: his parents, his siblings, his dog. but it doesn’t make sense. because once you talk to people, talk to the people he knew, they all tell you the same thing. he loved his family. he loved everybody. that boy wouldn’t hurt anyone, much less target those he loved the most. 

you don’t just go from loving your family to burning them alive.

                                          so then what happened? was it someone else, with some sick vendetta against his family? if it was, why did he disappear? or was it more complicated than that? no one knows for sure. but even if he was a good kid back then, there’s no telling what kind of man he is now. ashton emerson lost everything in that fire. when something like that happens to you, you don’t come out the same. sometimes you don’t come out at all, even if your body does.

AND I CAN'T TURN IT OFF.

ace emerson, an original crime-based character, written by lex. established in 2012. previously cruelety, arsnist, etc. read. statistics.

[virginiewoolf]

“You robbed me of my life. I could have been human—I could have been alive, but you took my heart and you murdered it. You made me into this.”

— Emilie Autumn, from The Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls

[doomdays]

that same response will and already has been twisted by everyone else who thinks they know her   (    who want to believe they do,  just to feed their own conspiracies.  )    but while sam has always been careful about opening up,  she doesn't lie,  either.   her response is vague,  yet it's the best she can give  --   because it's exactly how she justifies it to herself.  she didn't want to kill richie,  but the alternative was letting him kill her and her sister,   and she wasn't going to give him that win and let him take anything else from her,   so she did what she had to.  and she'll keep doing it,  the next time someone comes around threatening their lives --- because if she's learned anything from sidney,  it's that there are always going to be people itching for a hunt.   

her eyes narrow in on him as he repeats her words,  trying to decide how different that is when it comes from him instead.   she can't imagine situations are the same -- and she also doesn't want to assume the worst of him,  yet she can't help herself.  it's not personal,  just inevitable with her history and the family name that's now been exposed,  dragging her down with billy.   a small smirk forms on her features,  and she tilts her head to the side,  challenging.    ❝  i never said you look like shit,  ❞   she points out,  smile growing for a half second before she shakes her head.   she's not one to judge,  anyway,  not with the scars across her body and a face that's been dissected for months.    ❝  i'm usually not that far from one, anyway,  ❞   she admits,   because for her,  it's the opposite.    ❝  i never understood that,  you know?   people assume the worst of me,  they think i'm  .   .  .  ❞    she hesitates to say it out loud,  but her reputation precedes her.    ❝  a killer.   so why provoke me?  ❞    maybe he's not the one to ask,  but it's always made her wonder  ---   do they actually believe these conspiracies,   or do they just find themselves on some weird power trip knowing they can taunt someone like her? 

[herofell]

“you don't have to say it. i have a mirror, you know.” he doesn't, unable to look at his reflection without wanting to punch it, but he has no choice but to catch the occasional glimpse in his rear-view mirror every now and again. it's purposeful anyway— the fights are more than just a masochistic attempt at punishing himself; they're a disguise, too, because nobody will look at ace—bruised, bloody, life in his eyes dying—and connect him to ashton, the same bright-eyed boy smiling in every picture they'd plastered on the news. he's unrecognizable this way, so it's safer.

ace waves the bartender over, and in moments, there's another glass of whiskey in his hand, raised to his lips as he shrugs. it's only after he downs the drink that he answers. “i don't know—why do people taunt caged animals?” he pauses, as if the question's rhetoric, but it's not. “because they know you can't do shit. not in a place like this. in public. they're safe 'cause they know you're not going to slit their throat in front of everyone else.” not that he thinks she even would, but the point still stands. “they want to act like they're brave 'cause deep down, they know they would've ended up with a knife in their chest if the same shit happened to them.” although he wouldn't talk about it, he knows what it takes to be attacked by some psychotic asshole, to have your entire life destroyed, all because someone else decided it was a game to them—the difference is he let it ruin him, let it turn him into the same thing.

“but i can almost promise, if you ever got them alone, if they actually think you're a killer, they won't be acting brave anymore.” ace knows from experience, knowing all too well the look of absolute fear in someone's eyes when he gets them alone. “same way they'd act the second the animal gets out of the cage.”

[doomdays]

when sam was born,  everything in henry's life changed.   he didn't just welcome in a baby brother,   he said goodbye to his mother and stepped directly into the role of 'father'   (  despite the hesitance he has to use that word himself.  )   the new responsiblities and the weight of wanting to be everything sam needed took a toll on him,   so much so that he pulled away from everyone he was once close to ---  including one of his dearest friends.   he heard what happened to ashton's family,  wished there was something,  anything he could even fathom doing for him,  but he never knew how,   especially not with the way rumors flew.   he never fully believed them,   though.   that was his friend.   he was good.   how would he have gotten there?

despite that,  the distance between the two is more evident than ever,  even as they stand across from each other now.  maybe that's the most difficult to comprehend at all ---  he knows he's responsible for pulling away in the first place,   but his friend has changed   (  understandably,  given the circumstances  )    and henry has no idea how to connect with him now.   

❝  no,  man,  what? ❞    he scoffs,   shaking his head quickly.   they may be strangers now,   both living far different lives than they were when they last really spoke,   but henry's loyal.   whatever's going on with him,  he wants to figure it out before jumping to his own conclusions.    his eyes glance back to sam,   distracted by his magic notepad,   and he finds relief in the sight,   looking back to ashton now.    ❝   i'm just sayin',   you know,  whatever's going on,   i'm betting you can use the help.   not a handout  ---  i believe that's just what old friends do,  right?  ❞

[herofell]

he hardly remembers what it's like, having friends. it stings to think about, but as time has past, it's become harder and harder to remember what it was like back then, back when he still had friends and family. he wishes he could remember the warmth he knows he felt, wishes he could remember the comfort of not being constantly on edge, fighting others, fighting himself. but it's been so long that it doesn't feel like his own life. looking back on memories of his friendship with henry feels like he's simply remembering the events of a movie— he can remember what happened, but it doesn't feel like it happened to him. not this version of him, at least.

“like i would fucking know. you're the first person to find me.” find me, as if it were as simple as him just running away. a part of ace wonders what henry sees when he looks at him— if somehow, past all the scarring and bruising, he could see broken fragments of the person he used to be. he doubts it, because he's looked before. spent too long staring at his own reflection, hoping he might see something, anything, resembling the old him, ashton, not ace, but he's never been able to find it. that version had died with the rest of his family, lost in the same fire.

ace closes his eyes, letting out a shaky sigh, trying to collect himself, to bite back some of the fear festering in his chest, because thinking back on their old friendship, maybe he could trust henry. for now, at least. “i don't— need help. i'm used to being on my own.” price hadn't given him any choice but to learn, and he's afraid that relying on anyone else, even someone he used to know, might make him weak. he glances toward henry's brother once again, hesitant, because he's no good with kids, but he wants to talk about something else, anything but his own shit. “your brother, right?”

[edenmemes]

you (season 4) starters

part i & ii.

❝ love tests us. i’ve been tested more than most. ❞ ❝ love chooses us. the only thing we can control is what we do, how far we go. ❞ ❝ you know, i think i…i think i understand you. ❞ ❝ it’s not redemption if it’s for selfish reasons. ❞ ❝ look, trust is earned. ❞ ❝ it’s times like this i can’t help but wonder, where did i go wrong? ❞ ❝ you like it. how it feels. to kill. ❞ ❝ your kindness and ability to see the good in people, it’s the best thing about you. but people take advantage. ❞ ❝ so when are you letting me show you the real city? ❞ ❝ i can see you’re trying to remain noble while you hide your true motives. ❞ ❝ all i can say is never again. no love. no people. just books. ❞ ❝ you don’t know who i am or what i want. ❞ ❝ i’m not a fairy princess who needs soft speech or coddling. ❞ ❝ the best way to stay out of people’s business is to know what that business is. ❞ ❝ i can say something…romantic if you like. ❞ ❝ ugh. don’t know why i bother trying to help you. ❞ ❝ your past can’t be worse than mine.❞ ❝ i have too many friends. come back when one is dead. ❞ ❝ don’t kiss me. we might fall in love. ❞ ❝ i don’t let people in. it simply isn’t worth it.❞ ❝ you all right? you look sick. ❞   ❝ what i find dodgy about you, mate, is absolutely fucking everything. ❞ ❝ you know what they say: ‘the colder the stare, the warmer the heart’.❞ ❝ we will never ever be equals because i can’t compete with perfection. ❞ ❝ don’t make promises you can’t keep. ❞ ❝ i know the real you, a cruel man in his own immoral universe.❞ ❝ you say sweet things, it’s nice. and it makes me feel worse.❞ ❝ i know your strengths, and when you fail to live up to them, oh, it’s so disappointing.❞ ❝ everybody wants me…until they have me. ❞ ❝ i think we’ve somehow gotten off on the wrong foot. sorry. ❞ ❝ whatever it is you think you want to say, don’t.❞ ❝ my way is the only way and you know it.❞ ❝ what i find dodgy about you, mate, is absolutely fucking everything. ❞ ❝ the world isn’t kind or fair, so i need you to know that you have changed me the way…opening a window changes a dark room. ❞ ❝ oh, i’m sorry. did i hurt your feelings? ❞ ❝ historically, you are the family fuck-up. ❞ ❝ i love your stubbornness, luckily for you. and your good heart.❞ ❝ your past doesn’t scare me.❞ ❝ i’m sorry. i’m trying to change my past mistakes. ❞ ❝ i don’t wanna lose you, and i’m sorry that i pushed you away. ❞ ❝ i own everything in this world i want. ❞ ❝ who would i be to judge you?❞ ❝ don’t be a prude. you can touch me. ❞ ❝ there you are. i was wondering when you’d find me.❞ ❝ you don’t know me as well as you think. ❞ ❝ i can’t afford distractions. not now. ❞ ❝ i’ll make you this promise: this is the last thing i ever ask of you.❞ ❝ if you are honest with me from now forward and i’m honest with you, then…that’s what matters. ❞ ❝ you following me like a puppy? ❞ ❝ did you kill someone? i can always tell. ❞ ❝ i ran away from all this. i never wanted to touch a bloody knife again. ❞ ❝ you act like…you’re just a good man who did a bad thing. ❞ ❝ what i’d like is to…is to be done, you know? ❞ ❝ we all wear different masks, depending. and of course, parts of us we can’t bear to show to anyone. ❞ ❝ heartbreak is always the catalyst for a new path. ❞ ❝ i have no desire to hear what you say, and i don’t know why you’ve come. ❞ ❝ you’re not who i figured you for. ❞ ❝ if i had done these things, it could only have been because i had no other options. ❞ ❝ are you ignoring me? you’re hurting my feelings. ❞ ❝ have a lovely afternoon. or don’t. ❞ ❝ it continues to be none of your business.❞ ❝ you wage war with your own nature. that is what you do. ❞   ❝ my guess is that you’ve truly had a hellish life. ❞ ❝ eventually, i will get a smile out of you. ❞ ❝ i suppose i’ve been falling in a little bit in love with you. ❞ ❝ are you telling me i need a man? a big, strong man to protect me?❞ ❝ you do have a good heart. and it tortures you.❞ ❝ i decide if the line gets crossed, when and why. ❞ ❝ what do you say we grab us a real drink? ❞ ❝ redemption is possible, as long as they commit to never running from themselves. ❞ ❝ not only do i not care if you think i’m a bitch, i hugely prefer it. ❞ ❝ i wish you an end to suffering and the roots of suffering. ❞ ❝ do you have something to hide? ❞ ❝ i love you. i don’t want to lose you ever.❞ ❝ i just want to make my own way. i just want to be a person and not even a great one, just decent.❞ ❝ what…? what is that look? ❞ ❝ you don’t want to know the real me.❞ ❝ i’ve always admired a man like you who…doesn’t care how he presents. ❞ ❝ it’s time we got to know each other. ❞ ❝ you okay? you seem a little nervous. ❞ ❝ i’m not scared of being my dad. i’m already worse.❞ ❝ i like a secret. secrets make you feel like you’re living your life. ❞ ❝ you know what my favorite thing about love is? it gives you second chances.❞ ❝ when are you going to understand? i’m smarter than you.❞ ❝ i have been incredibly kind in the past to so many dear little lambs who were, in actuality, cruel wolves.❞ ❝ doing any real good is predicated on having real power.❞ ❝ all i’ve ever wanted is to love and to be loved completely. ❞ ❝ i have a past too. in another place with another name. all i want is to never be her again.❞ ❝ you do so much for everyone, but i cannot let you put yourself in harm’s way.❞ ❝ i’m gonna need you to change the subject by kissing me.❞ ❝ i am sick of being manipulated and underestimated.❞ ❝ we all have something bad in us.❞ ❝ if you had died, i would never have forgiven you. ❞ ❝ your story is incredible. you must be tired of talking about it. ❞ ❝ despite all i’ve ever done for you…you despise me. ❞ ❝ all that matters is that you’re all right.❞ ❝ the more you spend time with someone, the more cursed you are to see them as human.❞ ❝ things took a turn since i saw you last.❞ ❝ very sweet for you to offer, but we both know that you’re full of shit. ❞ ❝ my place. tomorrow. bring wine.❞

[herofell]

so what if i'm stupid @notvictims

[survivedsarchived]

it's exchanges like these that make silas question how he finds ace tolerable. most of it, he's always thought, is that he sees a similarity between them — the loner-by-choice, otherness that they've fallen into. that doesn't mean he doesn't find him frustrating, though, teeth grinding together harshly, an action silas immediately regrets; the ambrosia hasn't yet finished its work, and dull pain flashes white-hot along the split bone. nostrils flare in irritation; arms crossed, he fixes ace with what he hopes to be a neutral expression, tone flat as he replies, “i'd already killed two monsters. i was tired. not that i need to justify myself to you.” he knows what ace would've done; despite all of silas' rage, it's not something he can emulate.

he knows his limits. monsters are easy, dispatched without thought; humans, he hesitates with.

but he doesn't know how to explain that. if it even matters; if ace even cares, or if he'd just laugh and mock and insult. (silas doesn't want to admit to himself that it bothers him, just slightly, when he does.)

“yeah, alright. that's the line i use, too.” arms unfurl, a hand rising to rub the bridge of his nose absentmindedly, trailing along its crooked path. he tells himself it's because he allowed it to heal naturally — but silas thinks it'd be just as misshapen even aided by ambrosia. speaking of — silas glances towards the bag, then upward, unable to keep himself from snorting. “you know that word? who knew,” he bites back, still refusing to say it.

[herofell]

he doesn't know why he enjoys getting beneath people's skin so much— once upon a time, he would have hated to irritate someone else, would go out of his way to not be a nuisance, but now, it's all his interactions consist of. if he's not making someone bleed, they're rolling their eyes. (if he were honest with himself, he might realize it's because he's forgotten any other way, doesn't know how to behave normally without feeling vulnerable.) “ right. monsters. humans are easy. ” physically, he's telling the truth, but mentally, humans take a far greater toll. not that he would admit it out loud.

ace's eyebrows knit together in a scowl, letting out an indignant snort. “ i don't think she charmspoke your nose into breaking. i didn't exactly have an option when she told me to choke. ” in all honesty, he would have found it wildly attractive, seeing such a dark side of one of aphrodite's kids, had it not been inflicted on him. not that it matters either way.

finally, he reaches down to pick up the bag, because knowing him, he was going to need it at some point. he raises with a bored sigh, sliding his hand into his pocket. “ want to go back to the bar? i could use a drink— and if those guys are still there, i could show you how to take care of three at a time. ”

[goreprofonde]

“Maybe I’m tired of rooms full of knives & still being the most dangerous thing around.” 

- Yves Olade, Slaughterhouse.

[herofell]

i feel like i actually never really talked about ace's ex enough considering how important she was to his development/destruction of hope, but when he met alexandria, he was retired from killing. he was 21, so price had been dead for over a year and while he was struggling with his anger and the urges to go that far whenever he was fighting someone, he didn't kill people anymore. he knew he would never be able to be a good, functioning member of society again, basically forced to commit crimes to survive, but murder wasn't one of them. falling in love with her made him want to try to be a better person, but after he opened up to her and she called him a monster instead, it showed him he was irredeemable. if someone who saw the good in everyone couldn't see any good in him, he decided it means there isn't any, so there's no point in fighting it.

[herofell]

how are you ruined? —BY FURY

you are angry. you are angry and everyone knows it. the fire within you will not die, cannot die. for if it dies, you wont have a reason to burn. your rage simmers close to your chest, it boils near something you wont touch. you are angry because it is easier than anything else. you are angry because you choose it over pain. you are ruined because you cannot feel anything but your own ire.

[doomdays]

she never thought of herself as a violent person  --   it wasn't until she started to fear that was what she destined to be that she grew more and more afraid of it.   after what happened with richie and amber,  though,  she had to accept that it was always inside of her,   but not in the way she'd been painted as.   she was not destined to be a killer,  nor is she what these people tried to paint her as:    she is simply someone unafraid of doing what it takes to ensure her family is safe.  that doesn't make her a killer,  not in the way billy loomis was,  not in the way the rumors online claim her to be.    

she stares back at him for a long moment,  expression blank.   ❝  then i do what i have to,  ❞   she says,  and though it's vague,  it's her honest answer.   she doesn't want to have to kill,   but she's accepted that if someone is trying to kill her or her sister,  then killing is inevitable to get out alive.   in her world,   the one billy loomis created when he first slashed his knife,  it was always going to be kill or be killed.   ❝  ---  it depends,  ❞     she finally adds,  swirling her glass of water   (  a conscious choice.  )    ❝  depends on their intentions.  ❞   meaning the latter may be inevitable,   and she'll do what she has to.   her eyes narrow in on him for a moment as her head tilts to the side.   ❝  why?  is that what you do?   keep going until their unconscious? ❞

[herofell]

does what she has to. a part of ace wonders what that means to other people, because his definition of it changes all the time— one moment, he'll think he's doing better, controlling his anger, bottling his emotions, telling himself that maybe not every night has to end in body disposal, and the next, he's scrubbing blood off his hands, not regretting a minute of it. he almost asks, wants to, but he's sure she gets it enough, questions about killing. it's not kindness that stops him, not basic decency, but the simple fact that there's conspiracy theories about him, too— they're not as widely known anymore, nor are they capable of being easily connected to him after abandoning his real name, but he knows they exist. some of them aren't too far off, but most of them couldn't be further from the truth— he assumes it's the same for her. he just doesn't want to be stupid, wrong, like half the internet is about him.

“ i do what i have to, ” he mimics her, but the difference for him is that it isn't true. his reactions tend to be overdramatic, unproportionate to the situation, even if it feels like there's no other option in the moment. because it's never simple survival he seeks, but the desperate need to never be made into a victim again, to be the person in control, no matter the cost. “ but i mean— yeah. i don't look like shit for nothing. ” a battered hand gestures to the bruises on his face, the scars, like it's obvious. “ gets most people to leave me the fuck alone, though— just not the idiots. maybe you should try looking like you just got out of a boxing match. ”

[survivedsarchived]

he'd expected worse. that doesn't mean silas isn't annoyed, though, eyes rolling, a dull pain resulting from the action, and suddenly, he regrets acknowledging it at all. “shut up, man,” he half-groans, bending to accept the bag, hoping it seems casual. truthfully, he doesn't need it — he can tolerate pain. but does that mean he has to?

silas opens the bag, pulls off a small piece — speaks while chewing, as a fuck you to ace. “it was a bar fight, actually. guy realized the only way he'd win is with a couple of helping hands.” the fracture in his cheek is courtesy of a bootheel, brought down on his face once the two others had brought him down. they'd felt that to be a satisfactory end, and walked away. “and don't fucking talk to me about mikayla like she hasn't kicked your ass, too.” the remaining ambrosia is tossed back to ace, more forcefully than it'd been extended, a finger softly probing the edges of the wound slowly knitting itself together.

[herofell]

the laughter that rumbles in his chest is callous and sharp, like the edge of a blade. there's little he's able to take pleasure in anymore, fitting right in to his role as the son of misery, but this, getting beneath people's skin, almost does it for him. “ what, three's too much for you? ” a fight like that ends up far uglier for ace, usually with death, but he understands that's a line most wouldn't dare to cross. not that he means to, most of the time, but it happens— it's like he blinks, and when he opens his eyes, there's bodies on the floor, his bones are broken, and he can't tell where his blood ends and theirs begins.

“ that doesn't count. she used her aphrodite bullshit on me. ” never mind the fact he walked around with a bruise in the shape of her shoe on his chest for days, coughed up blood after she told him to choke. it doesn't matter. he lets the bag of ambrosia bounce off his chest, blankly watching it fall to the ground. “ where the fuck's my thank you? no wonder you got jumped. dick. ”

[herofell]

ace does not like kids but when he's passing by in either his challenger or abel's camaro and they scream at him to rev it, he sure as fuck revs it and almost even smiles because of it

[parabatailost]

Turn and smoulder.

[creamcheese-rpmemes]

Injury Starters Pt. 2

Injured

“I don’t think I can move.

“Oh god, it hurts.”

“Yeah, dumb idea. Very dumb idea.”

“Can you help me?”

“Can you help, I’m hurt really badly.”

“Well shit.”

“That hurts too much to move.”

“I can’t put any weight on my leg.”

“I don’t think I can walk.”

Mr. Stark “I don’t feel so good.”

“I think I’ve lost too much blood.”

“I think I’m okay.”

“I’m alright.”

“No one told me this would hurt so much.”

“I think it’s broken.”

“I can’t tell if it’s broken.”

“There’s so much blood.”

“You’re not supposed to pull the [knife, arrow, etc.] out of the wound, right?”

“This really hurts.”

“Can you call an ambulance?”

“Do you have anything I can patch this up with?”

“I think I need more than a bandaid.”

“Ow!”

“Stop poking that! It hurts!”

“I think I have more bruises than skin color.”

“You should see the other guy.”

“Did I pass out?”

“I think I just need to lay down.”

“I know, it was stupid.”

“I don’t need your help.”

Assisting

“Just stay still.”

“That looks pretty bad.”

“Are you alright?”

“You took a really bad hit.”

“I don’t think you should be messing with it.”

“Can you move at all?”

“Should I call somebody?”

“I think I have some bandages.”

“Moving is only going to make it worse.”

“I don’t do blood.”

“Do you think it’s broken?”

“What happened to you?”

“I don’t think it’s a big deal.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’ll get you fixed up, don’t worry.”

“Let me go get help.”

“You’re bleeding!”

“Just stay awake, okay?”

“Just hold on!”

“Panicking is only going to make it worse.”

“I’ll yank it out quick.”

“Do you need help?”

“Does this hurt?”

“You need to stop getting into fights.”

“I don’t know how you even get yourself into these situations.”

“Just tell me how this happened.”

“I’ll help you.”

“I can’t help you.”

“Why would you think that was a good idea?”

“Did you get hurt?”

[bigboppa01]

[herofell]

re: ace + murder. because i've decided to cut back some of the development i've done with ace in the more recent years, i feel the need to say: at this point in time, ace doesn't kill for the sake of killing. he more or less accepts that he does it, that he'll continue to do it, but he doesn't even really like it. he rarely goes out with the intentions of killing someone (and if he does, it's because he's convinced himself they deserve it), but it ends up happening, simply because he's horrible at containing his anger / emotions.