Brain Dump.

Anonymous posts full of life. East Coast - 22-years-old - she/her - woc - politics -social justice - self-care and sometimes just staying afloat.

[herthoughtsare-blog]

I do get sad when I look back at old photos of him and old phone notes, filled with hope that things would work out. In isolation – I was lucky to have a whirlwind romance with a guy who was my first love. In the grand scheme, I was always wanting more, he never understood my needs, we didn’t communicate well. I felt sad, lost, inadequate. So lost that when he did show me affection and talked to me on the phone, I felt like I was blessed or something. I want to be back down on earth now. I don’t know anymore. But I have to take care of me.

[herthoughtsare-blog]

Still here.

[cwote]

It’s your life. If you are unhappy, please make a change.

[brattylikestoeat]

Greens can for sure go. But I’m stuck between ham and cornbread.

[herthoughtsare-blog]

Greens and ham

[sweetoothgirl]

Hokkaido Milk Bread

[mindflamer]

[image description: a photo of a man mowing his lawn while a tornado is approaching in the background. the man is labeled “me working at a nonprofit trying to make the world a better place” and the tornado “the impending climate change apocalypse”]

[herthoughtsare-blog]

I had an interview for my dream job this week – a second round interview! I really got along well with the interviewers, there were laughs, interesting follow up questions, and they loved my answer to “tell me about yourself” I sent a thank you email this morning. All went well. Hoping for the best.

[herthoughtsare-blog]

Long distance sucks and don’t listen to anyone that tells you otherwise. You’ll go from fearing emotional intimacy to absolutely crying out for it. Cell phone reception determines how much you can feel connected to them. And just.. it’s hard, not being able to be near someone and hug someone you care about. Instead you only think about these things and never get a chance to act on it or do anything.

[herthoughtsare-blog]

Damn I miss being in a relationship. I just want to have someone to call when I’m lonely and someone to be there for me on a moments notice... :((

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

you deserve someone who looks at you as you’re mid-laugh and feels like the luckiest person on earth

[herthoughtsare-blog]

It has been a wild night. I had a can of hard cider, maybe two and I’m a light -weight so I wasn’t completely sober. Anyway my bae called me and we ended up talking about our emotions and heavy stuff like depression. Then during the call, my ex who I am still good friends with texts me he was broken up with. wow... Seems like a lot of things are sinking. On top of that i reacted to a random person’s FB comment on a post and I barely know them omg kill meeee.....

[herthoughtsare-blog]

I stay up late because it’s the only time I can reflect and not feel pressure. I have been feeling down lately, with the job search and post-grad depression setting in. But I feel so much peace at night, I know it sounds sad but truthfully I like the dark, it’s calming, it welcomes me, it doesn’t force me any which way. Night is when I stop responding to emails, it’s when I can stop writing a cover letter and put my laptop on the charger. It’s when I can leave tasks for tomorrow. It’s when I don’t have to look at the clock anymore. This time is when I can just let go and finally feel a little self acceptance. Feel like maybe soon something will work out

[photography-cnl]

[culturenlifestyle]

4.5 Million Baby Blue Eyes Just Bloomed In Japan’s Hitachi Seaside

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[keikosamachan]

Universe

Via: @ameyasrealm [instagram]

[herthoughtsare-blog]

I scrapped my entire resume and reformatted the whole thing. What a relief that I know that this one is so much better than the last one, even right down to the font. I’m meeting with a new friend to have her read over my resume and we’re going to practice interviews. Sounds exciting.. it’s not. Am I an adult now?

[herthoughtsare-blog]

Being home alone.

I am home alone this week since everyone else left for vacation. I never thought I would be, but I’m scared of being in a big house alone. My house has two “sides” the main area with a living room that goes into the kitchen then through a door there’s a small living space with an attached bedroom and full bathroom. Upstairs is another bedroom and my room is upstairs of the main area. There’s three entrance doors to the home. Full disclosure, I grew up a rough neighborhood, gang activity was common and so were shootings. This isn’t case in the area I live in now because my home is the first house off of a main busy street. This area is also relatively safe, I never felt unsafe walking at night. But of course, my anxiety is horrible, I’m on alert at night, keep my bedroom door open and I check the doors and windows at night. I can’t help it. I never desired to live alone nor will I ever actually live alone. I’m leaving to run errands all tomorrow and I sincerely hope the cat is ok being home, he’s been sad since everyone left!

[herthoughtsare-blog]

@from-psych-to-seneca thanks for your concern! I appreciate it. While I was anxious up until the very last night it helped to talk to my sister. It’s almost unreal to know how anxious I get when I’m in my own house alone.

[herthoughtsare-blog]

Being home alone.

I am home alone this week since everyone else left for vacation. I never thought I would be, but I’m scared of being in a big house alone. My house has two “sides” the main area with a living room that goes into the kitchen then through a door there’s a small living space with an attached bedroom and full bathroom. Upstairs is another bedroom and my room is upstairs of the main area. There’s three entrance doors to the home. Full disclosure, I grew up a rough neighborhood, gang activity was common and so were shootings. This isn’t case in the area I live in now because my home is the first house off of a main busy street. This area is also relatively safe, I never felt unsafe walking at night. But of course, my anxiety is horrible, I’m on alert at night, keep my bedroom door open and I check the doors and windows at night. I can’t help it. I never desired to live alone nor will I ever actually live alone. I’m leaving to run errands all tomorrow and I sincerely hope the cat is ok being home, he’s been sad since everyone left!