I do get sad when I look back at old photos of him and old phone notes, filled with hope that things would work out. In isolation – I was lucky to have a whirlwind romance with a guy who was my first love. In the grand scheme, I was always wanting more, he never understood my needs, we didn’t communicate well. I felt sad, lost, inadequate. So lost that when he did show me affection and talked to me on the phone, I felt like I was blessed or something. I want to be back down on earth now. I don’t know anymore. But I have to take care of me.










