run-on-the-mill

Hello! Someone is behind this blog and she’s been hiding from each letter, punctuation marks, and some emojis found in this dump site. She’s a 20-something alpha female with lots of dreams and song lyrics inside her tiny head. Her thinking cloud suggests that she is knowledgeable about the subject because she has personal experience with it. She has also demonstrated her abilities in the academic world. She earned both her undergraduate and graduate degrees from St. Paul University Philippines. In between, she manages to play mom to Saby, her mischievous female dachshund, has a healthy relationship with her one and only, CA, and binge-watch her favorite Netflix episodes. BTW, she's also a mom... to a beautiful angel boy, our dear baby Trei.

[herturnsandheadways]

6 months ago, I had a little kicker inside my belly. He would always make me feel the side kicks and roundhouses. I would eat a lot because that little kicker was a fast eater. I had no idea what is he going to look like, or his skin color, or how long his legs were going to be... but I always knew how much he would mean the world to me.

then my water broke, next thing I remember I was confined and we were waiting for him to come say hi to the world.

his daddy saw a cloud with a beautiful formation-- like an angel with a trumpet. We felt like he is being welcomed from the outside world.

but after my operation, they wouldn’t let me see you. I waited for the whole night to pass just to gain the strength to walk again. 

my feet were numb but I am afraid to touch the ground. but the excitement is so thrilling, I really wanted to see him in his room.

He was there, my baby boy.

sleeping very uncomfortably.

All I can ever do is to cry.

I wish I was a better mom, I wish I had known better.

I prayed to God that he should bless my son his love and make him better.

God did.

My baby boy was gone after 9 days of fighting in the hospital.

God blessed my son and he gave him the rest that he deserved.

[herturnsandheadways]

Spicy Brown Pasta with Galunggong & Kangkong 60g pasta 1 cup GG 1/2 cup kangkong; chopped 1/3 part of a garlic clove oil chili powder salt & pepper to taste

[wordsnquotes]

It’s a lot easier to be angry at someone than it is to tell them you’re hurt.

Tom Gates  (via wordsnquotes)

Woah, I found the reason why I always get mad at you every single damn time without you knowing what's the reason behind it. I am so sorry, I get hurt by the little things you do— talking to other girls and other shit like that. I need to be constantly reminded that you are for me and I am for you. I hope you know this already but I think, I am really clingy. Please tell me you'll stay for good.

[herturnsandheadways]

There's going to be a lot of dangers ahead of you. No matter how hard you try to take care, if it is bound to happen, it will. The only thing you can do is to accept it, cherish the moment, learn from it, and get up and always be hungry for more. It will strengthen you. Believe me.

[herturnsandheadways]

I don't know how am I still alive, my heart had died a long time ago, he used to be protecting me all the time, but eventually forgot to save me from the distress. I breathe the same air as he is breathing, I shelter under the same sky as he does too, I have the same name as to what he is carrying, but my heart and I agreed to forget everything about him. This bittersweet magic tolerated too much pain it did made me heartless; i'm left with broken pieces. But remember, you are never too old to draw with crayons, if he tries to catch up, let him, but don't be fooled by the same person twice.

Xyra Lim (Guess Who?, 30 Days Poetry Challenge, Day 5)

[herturnsandheadways]

I always try to fit in but everybody seems to be pushing me away. I always care for people eventhough they don't know me at all. I may live without others, but that's not how i do it.

[herturnsandheadways]

in your arms were the first most memorable space, you sing to me your soft lullabies silently you try dancing with every soft beat gently mommy, those were my very first special days. braiding my hair was your favorite part of the day, though i hate it so much, but i sit there to let you do it; singing with you was my most awaited treat; and we go a little shopping every after your payday. a lot of people say that we look like siblings, maybe because we are both too close. im so happy we face together our woes, eventhough we are both scared to do terrible things. your are my motivator, my inspiration, though i make you cry and feel bad sometimes, you are still there to support me at all times. indeed, you are my bestfriend and my dedication. we are both growing old, getting more matured, our age gaps may be too distant, but always remember this: you will always be my queen and my home, i promise, your love, sacrifices and effort will forever be treasured.

Xyra Lim (Sense of Home, 30 Day Poetry Challenge, Day 4)

[herturnsandheadways]

Every book is pretty, it only turns ugly when bought, unread. Every human being is pretty, it only gets ugly when not properly read. Each page completes a chapter, excitingly, each chapter is a different story each name written has a special character, and everyone is a possible suspect to worry. The truths lie between the pages, just like in reality, we only have to be curious we need a motivation to digest, to push us to become a little more smart and furious. Sometimes, it turns us to live within the book where we find our special place in fantasy land, the book now becomes our favorite nook and we decide to gather some more, reading every after our errands.

Xyra Lim (Duet, 30 Day Poetry Challenge, Day 3)

[herturnsandheadways]

• Banquet Function and Catering Services • Ang hirap maging HRTM. Bukod sa ina-underestimate ng mga tao yung course, feeling pa nila tamad yung mga estudyante na andun kasi petiks daw. Petiks pa ba? May effort naman kami diyan ah (final exam presentation).

[herturnsandheadways]

Just when she opened her eyes today, Old routine of hers went as usual. Visualizing how her life would have been better, Erasing her past mistakes, Leaping for the success she always dreamt to have, Letting go of the negative vibes, and Even forgetting those people who had hurt her. Day by day, she tries to become someone, though A lot of people idolize her, Really cares for her, And even loves to become a part of her. Cluelessly, what she long for has already been hers, Apparently, she could have known it but only too shy to claim. Now, my dear reader, can you tell her she is a one of kind imperfectly keen woman

Xyra Lim (Acrostic, 30 Day Poetry Challenge, Day 1)

[herturnsandheadways]

Don't promise a girl anything that you can't really accomplish because it will only make her feel deprived.

not anyone's priority

[herturnsandheadways]

I thought I am already fine. I thought things are on the right places and the broken pieces of my sadness were all gone. For the nth time, I thought wrong again. With just one particular scene, I was ruined. Why is it so painful to leave these scenes which had caused my downfall? Here I am again, back to the place where I am really trying hard to forget. 

[herturnsandheadways]

I trusted you so much that I never realized that I have already been letting you stab me from the wounds that I had from the past. I thought you were there to save me. I thought you will always be a friend, a best friend. I was wrong to let you know why, when, where and how did I got all these fresh wounds. It was a mistake to trust someone like you. You look so good on the outside but so rotten on the inside.

x.l 

[herturnsandheadways]

Dear Daddy,

It has been 4 years since you parted ways with Mommy and with those years, I’ve never been so confused. I remember us in the swing, you told me that no matter what happens, I will still be your baby girl, your princess. I understand that now I am already nineteen, many things have to change but I never thought your love for me could change too.

I admit that I was so angry at you, yes Daddy and it was not a secret. Everybody knows how mad I was then. I have called you names, hate you, disobeyed you but I have never forgotten that you are still my Daddy. So I grew up and rebuilt the love I have for you.

But every time I see you, I shake, tremble and fear you. I remember how you have treated me before. With all the punishments I have suffered even though I never did anything wrong. It all flashes in my eyes as if its about to happen again.

I’m sorry, it may be hard but Daddy, I will never love you the same as much as I have loved you before. I could only give you what you deserve now. Maybe soon, I could love you even better but please don’t get your high hopes. I could try, there’s no assurance.

[herturnsandheadways]

Flower girl

[herturnsandheadways]

Good things does not always happen when the sun is up shinning for us bright. Sometimes, it does happen at night, when some people are sleeping, dreaming about the ideas that has a little chance or no chance of happening at all. In other words, tonight, I am sleeping these pains away because the silence of the night deafens me.

[herturnsandheadways]

Welcome to your new home, Kirina! 🐶