In the āold daysā, dating was, essentially, confined to high school
and college classmates, friends of friends, friends of the family,
perhaps coworkers, and, for the more progressive ones, personal ads in newspapers.
Nowadays, itās all gone high tech ā numerous dating sites, with
various objectives and presumed common interests [from religion, to age, to just the good-old-animal-instinct of āgetting it onā, a la
Tinder ā why not, if it ātickles your pickleā?]. You really need to
sift through the riff-raff to find more authentic people you want to
chat with, and perhaps meet. And when you do meet, you hope that their form actually matches their photos ā for godās sake, guys, whatās the point of posting pix from 5 years ago, lying about your appearance, your āstatusā, your life?
But there are exceptions ā gents, who have or are going through
challenges, who can be open, authentic, who are intelligent and
funny, who are not presumptuous, condescending or insincere, and who want an open, honest connection and friend. I love meeting new people! I love hearing different points of view, looking at an issue or a topic through an alternative filter, learning about their cultures, trying new things. And, of course, there are many
interesting stories accumulated over a year, some of which provide
comic relief in hindsight ā and sometimes, right on the spot.
An exciting date biking at the shore with āthe Presidentā ā got the
gear, the helmets, the speed bikes: only to discover his rear tire is
flat. He changed the inner tube, and off we went, cruising down the road, parallel to the beach. Less than a mile from the house, the same tube blew, and we hightailed it back to the garage. No more sparesā¦ a quick hop to the nearest bike shop, a couple of new tubes in handā¦ another fix, and attempt number three! Third time is the charm, itās said. Not in this case. About half hour and many miles away from the home base, the same tire blew again, and in the avalanche of most selected expletives, the calm āPresidentā had to admit defeatā¦
An evening of sexy, steamy flirting and dancing with āthe CEOā at a
club ā getting down, enjoying the good time, each otherās companyā¦. Only to bump into an earlier date of mine! How utterly poorly-timed, and unexpected. We āfaded awayā over a month earlier, and to run into each other at the same club, in a big city.. what are the chances! We hugged, introduced our respective dates, and kept partying. And, yes, he did call to ask about āthe guyā, and wanting to get togetherā¦ Still working on that. LOL
First date ā lunch at a respectable restaurant. The āFive Alarmā and I met in the parking lot, and, literally, the moment I got out of my car, I involuntarily inhaled: the height, the pecks, the guns, the
magnetic white smile! I hoped I wasnāt swaying walking in ā but he
did have his arm around my waist before we entered the establishment. The attraction, the electricity, the tension between us were obvious probably to all diners. The game of footsie started before the water glasses arrived. The food was barely relevant. I did not recall feeling like this since high school!! It was crazy, delicious, made me lightheaded. It was good we were separated by a table. Plans were made to get together very soon thereafter. The ābye byeā in the parking lot turned into a lengthy, steamy, boiling hot [yet controlled] make-out kissing session, with hands roaming, hair being pulled, in full view of the restaurant, and passing cars. Wow ā people in their 40ās do this? Damn, this is HOT! I like it! Unfortunately, he turned out to be married ā yes, the unknowns of on-line dating.
A flash in the pan! But what a sizzling flash it wasā¦
Weeks of intense texting, talking, flirting with āthe PhDā. Finding
time to meet was challenging, due to our travel schedules, and to our fiery personalities: on two occasions, weād get caught up in some silly {hindsight} disagreement, and break the dates. Then circle back to each other. It was clear the pull, the attraction were there. On a spur of a moment, to preclude any discord from ruining another attempt at a date, I called as I was driving home from the airport, returning from a business trip, to see if he wanted to have a drink. He readily accepted, and soon, we were conversing at a happy hour. About 90 minutes thereafter, we were saying pleasant good-byeās near my car. And a few hours later, past 11 pm, we were in a Dunkinā Donuts parking lot, kissing and necking like teenagers! Wow ā Richard Gere personifiedā¦ Eye candy galoreā¦ Hot stuff to the nth degreeā¦ This promised to be one very enjoyable summerā¦ Except he accepted a government cabinet post and relocated. Sighā¦
āThe Capānā whisked me away to the shore, for a desperately-needed relaxing weekend of beach, biking, fine dining, and absolute relaxation. Late one night, I wanted to go for a beach stroll, listen to the crushing waves, be enveloped by the fresh, salty air. Soon we came upon the life guard tower and the row boat ā we started making noises, just in case there was anyone hiding inside the boat, to avoid any awkward situations, but found the boat empty. Such well-behaved community! I wanted to climb to the top of the tower, and we perched ourselves on the hard seat. It was perfect! The cool breeze, the moon reflecting in the ocean, the flickering town lights in the distance, the abundance of stars in the sky. It just created a very romantic atmosphere. And soon the idyllic setting was interrupted by the bright lights of the security jeep, heading straight for āourā tower. I betcha as the car approached, the beach patrol guys inside were already preparing a speech for the disorderly teens they were planning to find ā only to be caught off guard when they realized that the two people they were talking to were actually older than they! There were
very polite āsirā and āmaāamā, āsorry to inconvenienceā,
āunfortunately, the beach is closedā, āno rush, take your timeā. It
was hysterical! When was the last time I broke the rules? Stayed at a place past its closing time? Had to remember a curfew?
And the last, most unusual experience Iāll share is with āThe
Esquireā. Weāve enjoyed chatting, texting, long conversations over
delicious, leisurely dinners, live music, etc ā just a lot of fun in
each otherās company. And then I got the oddest text ā advising me that some of my SMS have landed on his soon-to-be-ex-wifeās cell! Oh, man! It was so shocking, so unexpected, that I literally burst out laughing! I quickly scanned the most recent texts, found nothing to worry about ā but the nagging sensation would not disappear. Having been through the circumstance of āanother womanā coming into my life, I definitely did not want to inadvertently step into those shoes, or be perceived as the home-wrecker. So our next face-to-face was kicked off with a very serious discussion of who stands where, whatās going
on, and such. Granted, he moved out a long time before I ever bleeped on the radar, but itās always best to have a peace of mind. I saw the pain, the devastation my BFF went through when her ex hooked up with a chick a number of years ago; I personally experienced the hurt and the misery of same. So, again, not the role I wish to play.
Well, itās been a fun, wild, unpredictable ride, dating after 23 years
or marriageā¦. Itās tremendously different from what I remembered, but Iām adjusting, Iām adapting, Iām enjoying, Iām appreciating the
differences!!!
And Iām acutely aware of how drastically altered my reactions are: Iām not as easily impressed or blown away, but itās the simpler, kinder things that do impress me. Itās not about the overpriced dinners, itās not about āsteady datingā, itās not about flashy behavior. Itās about sincerity, being human, accepting and ups and downs of life, and remembering that there is a reason why there are 31 flavors of ice cream ā we all do not need to be similar, like same things, feel obligated to conform. On contrary ā now IS THE TIME to try new experiences, challenge your old notions, open your eyes, find joy and beauty in simplicity and kindness.
LOVE THE LIFE YOU LIVE
LIVE THE LIFE YOU LOVE
kianamaiart
jimmyeatworldofficial
titsay