Miss Hester Leggatt

One of my colleagues told me that I should create something called a 'blog' so that I could 'share my opinions with the world' and 'post memes' (whatever a 'meme' is), so I suppose this is my way of humouring her.

[hester-leggatt]

Introductory Post

Apparently, such a post is standard on 'blogs' like these, so I'll get right to the main points about myself, organised as follows.

- - -

Place of Employment: British Military Intelligence, Section 5. (Any more information than that is highly confidential. Please do not attempt to ask or bribe for further information; you will be met with a dead end.)

Favourite Pastimes: Gardening; bridge; ornithology; cataloguing of all sorts.

Colleagues and Friends: Most are lovely people, and a few of them can also be found on this Web site, though I have yet to find some of them, as it is apparently uncommon for people to use their real names here. I will be referring to them by surname, and only if necessary.

History: I don't see why I should share that with strangers on the Internet any more than I should share MI5's classified information.

Favourite Bird: Eurasian magpie (Pica pica).

Favourite Flower: English garden rose (varying hybrids).

Favourite Organisation System: Alphanumeric.

[hester-leggatt]

Do you have any good gossip Mum? I swear if I have to hear Fleming trying to disguise his novel as gossip to me one more time I am going to punch someone.

@bellatypequeen

I do not gossip.

(That said, I overheard some ado the other day regarding potential relations between Fleming and Masterman...)

[hester-leggatt]

hey. hey. you're amazing :)

Why, thank you! Not sure what brought this on, but I appreciate the compliment.

[hester-leggatt]

Opinion on Jeans mother and montu’s wife??

Iris Montagu is a lovely and lively woman. I had the pleasure of meeting her once after things became safe enough for her to return from the States, and I could see almost immediately why Monty had married her. I had never thought I'd meet anyone with the same level of confident spontaneity as Ewen Montagu. Iris proved me wrong.

I've never met Miss Leslie's mother, but given what I do know about her from the little Jean has been comfortable telling me, I'm unsure I would agree with her on much of anything.

[mincemeat-headcanons]

(Jeff Kready-approved headcanon!)

Hester has a cat named Myrtle, who's basically just a feline version of her.

This is what Myrtle looks like:

omg. Fanarters please. I adore this.

[jean-is-2bright4tea]

@hester-leggatt YOU HAVE A CAT AND DIDN’T TELL ME?

[hester-leggatt]

Myrtle has a difficult time with new people, but perhaps I'll bring her in sometime so she can grow accustomed to you and the other girls.

[slozhnos]

jak malone thank you for delivering more heartbreaking bits of your portrayal of hester

[hester-leggatt]

...

[hester-leggatt]

Theoretically, could you gamble playing bridge?

Well, bridge isn't exactly a game designed for that the way poker is—it's a trick-taking game, meaning that victory comes with the number of points earned and rounds won rather than the amount of money taken home.

Of course, if you were so inclined, I suppose you could make a bet regarding which bridge pair you think will win, the way you might bet on a horse race or a boxing match, but I've never personally heard of that happening. (And I'd advise against serious betting of any sort—I consider it financially irresponsible—but do what you like.)

[hester-leggatt]

Miss Leggatt, I think you'll be glad to know I learned how to play bridge because of you.

I am extremely pleased. May the cards be in your favour.

[hester-leggatt]

what's your favourite word in the english language?

There are many contenders for this, so I'll give you three of the strongest:

- Syzygy (beautiful definition, and there's something delightful about the fact that 'y' is every other letter)

- Penultimate (very aesthetically appealing set of letters and vowel sounds)

- Bookkeeper (describes myself in some respects and has three pairs of double letters in a row)

[hester-leggatt]

You look weirdly like me… must be a coincidence. Anyway I've sent you the body and it should be on ice rn Xx

@very-trustworthy-coroner

Is this Sir Bernard Spilsbury? I've been meaning to have a civil discussion with you about your blatant disregard for MI5 security policy.

[hester-leggatt]

why are you so goated queen

I had to ask Miss Leslie what 'goated' meant, and she gave the world's brightest smile and said it meant that I was the greatest of all time. Thank you very kindly—I do my best!

(Lots of compliments recently...I wonder what I did to deserve them.)

[hester-leggatt]

it is not backhanded. you are a fucking diva hester slayyy

Well, in that case, thank you very much!

[hester-leggatt]

hester you're such a diva I love you

Thank you? I suppose? I can't tell if this compliment is intended to be backhanded...

[colonel-johnny-bevan]

Why did you go out to dinner with Hester and were seen kissing her if you’re not officially together?

That is none of your business. What I do in my personal time with Hester is not your concern.

[jean-is-2bright4tea]

ooooOOOOOH @hester-leggatt

[hester-leggatt]

I decline to comment.

[colonel-johnny-bevan]

sir you’re so hot

Thank you? Who is this?

[jean-is-2bright4tea]

i would say this is probably @hester-leggatt but she’d have proper punctuation and capitalization. she also wouldn’t use the word hot, it’d be more subtle.

[hester-leggatt]

This isn't me, Miss Leslie, because in the purely hypothetical scenario that I were to have feelings for a coworker I would hardly be so direct—or rely so heavily on anonymity.

(Again, I must stress that this situation is entirely hypothetical. And that if in such a situation this happened to be Sue Goggins trying to get back at me, she should know that I would be happy to strangle her.)

[jean-is-2bright4tea]

what did sue goggins even do to you? i’m entirely on your side, don’t get me wrong, she sounds like a bitch, but i don’t get bridge rivalry at all.

[hester-leggatt]

What is between me and Miss Susan Hilda Goggins is intensely personal and impossible to adequately describe in plain language. Our history is pockmarked by mutual sabotage and a disdain potent enough to last several lifetimes. I've done things in the name of her downfall that I am ashamed to look back upon, even considering our competitive relationship.

In other words, it's an average bridge rivalry.

[hester-leggatt]

I have decided (very cautiously) to allow people to ask me things online. Do with that information what you will, but I ask that you remain civil and responsible.

[colonel-johnny-bevan]

My friend sent a picture of their cat looking really unimpressed, so I edited it to look a bit like you. I thought you and Hester might get a kick out of it.

Amazing. This is me in cat form. No complaints.

@hester-leggatt look at this brilliance

[hester-leggatt]

Absolutely wonderful, sir. The eyebrows are spot-on.