hopeless romantic

they/he with enough angst to kill a man.genderfluid and queer babe.can ya tell I have big emotions?

[heulwenflower]

🌸🌼hello darlings🌼🌸

Huelwens my name and poetry is my game

They/he|genderfluid|queer

Your mum's favourite british 20 something

I started writing poetry as an outlet during a pretty rough time in my life and its grown into something beautiful.im slowly tidying up my tumblr and will be terrorising other platforms soon.im also slowly writing again so I hope you enjoy<3

A quick note about certain poems:

As poetry is my outlet I sometimes touch upon potentially triggering themes.these poems are clearly trigger warned and you have to click to see the actual poem.

I also occasionally have mild nsfw references.some are tagged but some I need to go back and check.

[heulwenflower]

Oh shooting star

If I saw you now

I'd howl until my lungs collapsed

Cursing you with the weight of my mind

How could you take their wish at the cost of my heart

A wish that fizzled out quicker than your measley existence

Before they found a star that shined for longer

Leaving me fizzled out like you

[heulwenflower]

If you were just some sleaze bag

I'd scream from the rooftop

While you make love on my borrowed bed sheets

Using all my tricks of the trade

Paired with my stolen raging flame

If you were some partner

I'd burn all the film

Give all the trinkets away

And sell all your heart out the back of my car

But your my best friend

I paint a smile with lip gloss bought for you

Wash my best lingerie and put It in a box deep in the attic

Put all the toys away until the next playmate comes to play

[heulwenflower]

Star map

I came from the stars

Arriving to earth falling from the cosmos

With an almighty thud

Wondering if I was prettier up there than how gravity makes me look down here

An alien walking amongst children

With weird speech and ways

Floating and hovering through every millisecond of life

Waiting every night for the stars to wake

looking up to find a way home

not finding my place in any constellation

But not finding a place in any street in England

4-star map prompt by @nosebleedclub

[heulwenflower]

3.mosquito summer

Bitten all over

Sucked dry until I'm anemic

All I can do is lay in bed

Clinging on to what I ought to belive in

I dream of when this is all over

When the obsession is gone

I'll be in some club

In a mini and a low cut crop

I'll dance with whoevers nearest

Do a couple shots

The lights will come on

And my scars will shine

Without the music

All I can hear

Is the mosquito buzzing in my ear

Prompt 3.mosquito summer from @nosebleedclub

[heulwenflower]

chapel

Weighed down by tulle and petticoat

I walk down the longest alise

Round the student flats

Past the coffee shop

Up by the shut down new look

The chapel is on the horizon

Moving futher and futher

Step by step

The distance grows and grows

The bells are calling me

Louder and louder

Will my groom even be there when I arrive

When will the congregation give up and go home

Soon followed by the vicar

My maid of honour is haunted by the ticking of the clock

How much longer have I got?

Promt 2-chapel by @nosebleedclub

[heulwenflower]

Not over yet

Credits are rolling

The seats empty

Harsh light interrupts the dark

Maybe this time will be worth it

A laugh or maybe a massive plot development

The tide of text just keeps flooding

The last die hard fan

Clinging on for dear life

This has to be worth it right?

Prompt 1-not over yet by @nosebleedclub

[heulwenflower]

I can vape my lungs until they crackle

But my words are bound by a shackle

I can smoke my lungs to a mountain of ash

But the words have gone-just like that-in a flash

I can drink myself till I'm a sticky mess on the floor

But the words just ain't there no more

I force the blood out of my body

But I can't find the words for nobody

I can play with things that buzz and rumble

But when it comes to the words my brain just tumbles

I waste my space with fools gold

But I can't make the words hold

I pop psychiatrists candy:white,yellow,blue

But none of my words are good enough for you

[heulwenflower]

The big event is over

Camera men are driving in vans a thousand miles from here

All that's left is the litter

The TV schedule will go back to normal

Filled with a dating show,political debate and a woman who sleeps with a mummified corpse on day time telly

Soon a big event will shake things up

The memory of the last one will be fuzzy

But until then

Back to normal brocasting

[heulwenflower]

sun glow on your face

House finches sing in the day

Welcome to your life;it's yours to play

Beyond what the past and others say

Step outside that door with no more delay

House finches sing in the day

Sun lights up your fate

[heulwenflower]

As I lay there in that bed

Her eyes are piercing through me

A lovely baby blue

Paired with a face that,from afar,looks baby soft

But I know where to find those tell tale scales forming

Her face is under lock and key

But Her eyes are seeing things she's only seen in soap storylines on TV

She cannot blink nor turn away

Stuck in the best seat of the house

For a horror movie she will one day star in

[heulwenflower]

1 year of my messy emotions 🥳

Wow that's gone by fast!I can't belive how much has changed in a year.im grateful for everyone who's interacted with my poetry and watched me grow.onwards and upwards!

[heulwenflower]

Hand me the dagger and let me drag it down my chest

Watch the tears stream down my face as I slowly rip through every layer

Blood gushing out and staining anything that's too near

Then yank it out without a second thought

I wont serve it you on silver platter

I wont make it neat and tidy

This isn't some curated museum with things locked away

Everything is out and open

With no glass to separate or protect

Prompt 2-ars poetica @nosebleedclub

[heulwenflower]

Sunken statue

The tide came in some time ago

My head screamed move but my base stood strong

My heart beat up my chest but my base sunk itself further into the sand

By now it's up to my neck

It'll soon drown me

Silently

Gone

I'll slowly be worn down by the waves

Crumbling down into little pieces

Before being taken back to shore

Maybe I'll become a rock in someone's pocket

Or The thing you kick when you think of them

Maybe something worthy to bring to show and tell

Or sit on a shelf of prized possessions

Never knowing if I'll be one man's trash

Or another's treasure

Prompt from @nosebleedclub

[heulwenflower]

Rafflesia

In the centre of my garden is a rafflesia

Framed with beautiful roses,sweetpeas and jasmine

However they are overpowered

By the overwhelming stench

It was not planted by me

It came with the garden

I know i need to get rid of it

As its all me or anyone can focus on

But the roots are deep in the soil

So i focus on planting more sweet smelling flowers

Until I have the energy to dig deep and be rid of it for good

Prompt from @nosebleedclub

[heulwenflower]

Weather vane

Gentle breeze,storm or hurricane

No matter how frantically the vane spins

It'll settle facing you

I let the winds of change guide me

Even if it leaves my heart and head spinning

Because it's all worth it when I face you

Prompt from @nosebleedclub

[moonwaterssunrise]

My rays of sun,

and the lavender farm

─── ⋆⋅ ☀︎ ⋅⋆ ───

It is time to say my farewell to the fields,

A hello to the lavender farm,

Where perhaps new flowers can grow, safely

New lives can form,

And at least there i am always welcome.

I say my farewell to the fields,

because i have to go back to the lavender farm,

I am not saying farewell to you, so please meet me there, under the moon, and we can write, and sing like the owls do, so that the morning birds can sing the same song.

With every drop of rain, every little sound, singing i love you, i love you, all over again.

─── ⋆⋅ ⛰︎ ⋅⋆ ───

I’ll see you from afar, your rays of sun still shining

─── ⋆⋅ ☾ ⋅⋆ ───

I finally have found, the place where i was born, i have found a temporary home, who knows how long it will take, for drought to come. At least then can it rain, once again.

─── ⋆⋅ ༄ ⋅⋆ ───