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twenty-three. wisconsin. lesbian. she/they.

[heureuxment]

logged onto tiktok last night and the first face i saw was my rapist’s. cool

[heureuxment]

guess what happened again 

[firstfullmoon]

[heureuxment]

sam’s girlfriend had a birthday party on saturday and invited the entire friend group but me. and it’s not like i would really have anted to be there because she’s loud and obnoxious and rude to me but it would have been nice to have been included with all the rest of our friends. i have been trying to be cordial with her since june when they started dating because we all have the same friends but she’s done nothing to try to be kind or friendly to me. i invited her to my birthday party because i didn’t want her to feel left out even though the wound of them dating was still very fresh (less than a month after i told her i was in love with sam, she told me she didn’t want to get in between us, and then they started dating a week later). i don’t really care that she didn’t invite me, but i really care that none of my friends said anything about the party to me and kind of tried to pretend it didn’t happen. i found out when everyone was sharing photos and videos of the night in the group chat and i realized i was the only one in the gc that wasn’t there. i hate that this girl makes me feel so shitty and petty like i’m in high school again. 

[heureuxment]

update on this situation: sam and his band released a song on their new ep about me and his girlfriend was really not happy about it. i went to the release party and when they were playing that song, i was singing along (as i did with every other song, but this song objectively slaps) and i saw her whisper to her friends, who loudly said “why the fuck is she even here.” granted, they were quite drunk, but it was still a very petty very high school situation that i want out of. i just want to be friends with everyone. it is not my fault that he released a song about me or that he didn’t release a song about her. art takes time and we broke up a year ago ( granted, he did write a song about how they should have gotten together in december when we broke up in march, which stings, but it’s not like i’m blaming her for that one)

[zungenakrobatin]

not being good enough will break my fucking heart again and again

[heureuxment]

i think i’m getting sick again.

[kafk-a]

Sharon Hayes EVERYTHING ELSE HAS FAILED! DON’T YOU THINK IT’S TIME FOR LOVE?, 2019

[heureuxment]

TW: covid/medical

they’re lifting the mask mandate at my university and i’m so scared. i have such a shit immune system and i have chronic conditions that can be triggered by a virus, which is what happened a year ago (not by covid) when i almost died in the hospital and ended up with a feeding tube. so, basically, if it doesn’t kill me outright, covid is likely to kill me peripherally. and my university isn’t doing anything to help me. they told me to apply for accommodations, but the soonest they can meet with me to go over my case is in a month, which is after they lift the mandate. i already took time off from school because of covid and i am so frustrated that i basically have to risk my life or not get my degree. i am so frustrated. (and obviously i will continue wearing a mask; i was wearing masks in public before the pandemic because of how weak my immune system is)

[edwardsaidpdf]

Funeral, Phoebe Bridgers

[metamorphesque]

To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god.

Sappho | Leonardo Bistolfi | Safet Zec | Richard Siken | Brokeback Mountain (dir. Ang Lee) | Emery Allen | Ron Hicks | Jorge Luis Borges | Holly Warburton | Richard Siken | Joseph Lorusso

[godstiel]

my god when theres a random warmer day in winter and the not wanting to die hits

[feral-ballad]

Anna Akhmatova, tr. by Lenore Mayhew and William Mcnaughton, from Poem Without A Hero and Selected Poems; “In a dream”

[wylanvnneck]

you are my son, my moon, and all my stars, e.e. cummings // the song of achilles, madeline miller // owl and pussycat, some years later, margaret atwood // the starry night, vincent van gogh // seven, taylor swift // @ashberrrry via tumblr // two men contemplating the moon, caspar david friedrich // red, white and royal blue, casey mcquiston // anyway, richard siken // end of the day, one direction

[ourladyinshadow-deactivated2023]

i love when you hear a song and you're like “oh id absolutely stumble through the snow bleeding from a knife stuck in my gut to this”

[heureuxment]

sam’s girlfriend had a birthday party on saturday and invited the entire friend group but me. and it’s not like i would really have anted to be there because she’s loud and obnoxious and rude to me but it would have been nice to have been included with all the rest of our friends. i have been trying to be cordial with her since june when they started dating because we all have the same friends but she’s done nothing to try to be kind or friendly to me. i invited her to my birthday party because i didn’t want her to feel left out even though the wound of them dating was still very fresh (less than a month after i told her i was in love with sam, she told me she didn’t want to get in between us, and then they started dating a week later). i don’t really care that she didn’t invite me, but i really care that none of my friends said anything about the party to me and kind of tried to pretend it didn’t happen. i found out when everyone was sharing photos and videos of the night in the group chat and i realized i was the only one in the gc that wasn’t there. i hate that this girl makes me feel so shitty and petty like i’m in high school again. 

[heureuxment]

logged onto tiktok last night and the first face i saw was my rapist’s. cool

[promqueendyke]

lucy dacus / night shift

[ijaazat]

I'm my mother's child call me a woman made horror