Monterey Bay Aquarium
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Love Begins
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
if i look back, i am lost
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@hewhostaystheknife
Corporeal manifestation has its pros and cons
One of the cons is that when it is Too Hot and Humid, you are forced to suffer its effects
Yes, one could go somewhere colder in little time, but that would mean not being nearby the people one cares about
[[ Still working on it, but I have the start of a playlist for Zad ]]
"Mmm. It never seems to be enough. But... still, we try."
He let himself follow the direction of those hands, arms slipping away from Miles only for a moment before they were wrapped back tight around him. His fingers hesitated only a moment before burying themselves in Miles' shirt. "I know you do. Thank you." He pressed a kiss of his own to Miles' lips, another shortly after to his cheek, just below his eye.
"Thank you."
"You trying's enough All of ya..."
Once Zad got more situation into the hug, Miles would rub a slow, soothing circle against the other's back, rumbling a soft hum at the kisses because sneaking another to the angel's lips. "Yer welcome."
"You.. wanna stay here for a while, with me? Maybe relax and enjoy a lil break?"
He'd nod along to that, after a moment. He did have to believe that, in the end. That every effort was worth it, that every little nudge of change in a more positive direction had merit.
Zadkiel would relax into Miles' arms slowly, letting the pressure of the hand on his back lull him. No wings, for now, mostly so that Miles could do that sort of thing, and so that he didn't knock anything over. A halo and extra arms was easier to hide, too, if anyone should burst in on them.
To the question, he nodded again, curling up against him. "Please. I... I think that would be good." He needed some time to recover, a reprieve, and he really had missed Miles, the warmth of his soul, his smile, the feel of his lips.
He was proud of Miles, for carving himself this space, seeing the centre grow under his guidance and work.
His fingers would slip between Miles', sad smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Ah, the world is just a bit more out of sorts than usual. It takes its toll." His celestial portfolio wasn't in the most stable of places across the globe, but he was still trying. Hopeful.
Zadkiel let himself melt further against Miles, breathing in the scent of him and ignored the tear that rolled down his own cheek like molten gold. Miles was a balm and a bulwark. And more.
"I missed you."
"Yeah.. Yeah, it's not great right now..." He would squeeze Zad's hands as he leaned in to give a lingering, soft kiss. "M'glad people have you and the other angels lookin' out for 'em, but it's gotta be tough on ya."
He would enjoy being held, his eyes slipping shut for a moment as he basked in the presence and warmth of his partner, smiling. "I missed you, too." Though the smile would dip once his eyes opened, and he caught sight of that stray tear, his body twisting and turning to pull Zad into a hug. "Hey, hey.. It's okay. I got ya."
"Mmm. It never seems to be enough. But... still, we try."
He let himself follow the direction of those hands, arms slipping away from Miles only for a moment before they were wrapped back tight around him. His fingers hesitated only a moment before burying themselves in Miles' shirt. "I know you do. Thank you." He pressed a kiss of his own to Miles' lips, another shortly after to his cheek, just below his eye.
"Thank you."
@mr-pulvis
Next time he finds Miles alone, he would manifest behind him and drape his lanky body over Miles' shoulders, one set of hands clasping in front of the man's chest, the other pair holding onto his hips.
The angel looks... worn. Dark hollows under his eyes, more gaunt than even his usual narrow appearance should be, curls lank and in disarray, and had some stubble on his deceptively youthful, androgynous face. Even the galaxy swirl in his halo seemed dimmer.
"Hello, my beloved," would come as a rough whisper, though he'd try and convey the warmth and affection he felt through more direct empath aura nonsense, and the kiss pressed to Miles' cheek.
The archangel would find him in his office-bedroom, in the community centre, standing in front of a filing cabinet, organising the month's invoices. The touches would give him a slight startle, which would immediately melt away as he grinned when the realisation that two pairs of hands were on him.
"Hey-!" Miles would lean back into Zad a little, neck craning to get a look at the angel, as his hands moved to rest on the hands at his hips. His grin would falter when he caught sight of just how... tired and Not Zad the other looked, immediately worried. "Hey... What's wrong?"
He was proud of Miles, for carving himself this space, seeing the centre grow under his guidance and work.
His fingers would slip between Miles', sad smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Ah, the world is just a bit more out of sorts than usual. It takes its toll." His celestial portfolio wasn't in the most stable of places across the globe, but he was still trying. Hopeful.
Zadkiel let himself melt further against Miles, breathing in the scent of him and ignored the tear that rolled down his own cheek like molten gold. Miles was a balm and a bulwark. And more.
"I missed you."
@mr-pulvis
Next time he finds Miles alone, he would manifest behind him and drape his lanky body over Miles' shoulders, one set of hands clasping in front of the man's chest, the other pair holding onto his hips.
The angel looks... worn. Dark hollows under his eyes, more gaunt than even his usual narrow appearance should be, curls lank and in disarray, and had some stubble on his deceptively youthful, androgynous face. Even the galaxy swirl in his halo seemed dimmer.
"Hello, my beloved," would come as a rough whisper, though he'd try and convey the warmth and affection he felt through more direct empath aura nonsense, and the kiss pressed to Miles' cheek.
(✿◡‿◡)
(✿ಠ _ ಠ)
[ He'd let out a gentle laugh and reach out to seize and squeeze this silly human's hands. ]
We can have both, Miles.
[ Zadkiel tilted his head after the kiss, brow up quizzically. A dialogue? Well. She was a therapist. ]
Whatever you'd like to discuss, Miles. I'll listen and contribute, and if there are... things we need to change or decide on, well. We can do them together.
Ugh, yer gonna end up puttin' me in a food coma... [ Said as though he wouldn't regret it at all. ]
Oh, no, nah, there's nothin' that needs t'change! Unless there, um, is, I guess? [ It would take him a minute to compose himself and compile his thoughts into something that wouldn't end up coming out as unintelligible word vomit. ] So, uh. Okay--
[ Miles' nerves always tended to set off his own a little, attuned as he was to those around him, but Zadkiel tried to clamp down on the instinct to flutter his wings nervously as he listened.
Though he didn't manage to keep the blush from his own cheeks when Miles explained, a hand up to his mouth to try and muffle some burbling laughter that threatened to escape. ]
O-oh, I see. Well. We certainly can. [ He cleared his throat, trying to keep things from becoming more awkward for Miles. ] There's nothing shameful or intrinsically embarrassing about any of this, just. So you know.
And I've certainly... never had any reason to complain when we are being intimate, Miles. I enjoy everything with you. [ He bit his lip a moment, considering. ] For particulars, though, I do... enjoy the feel of your hands gripping my thighs or my... rear? Sorry.
[ It felt a bit clinical, or formal rather, to say things like 'ass', so far anyway. ]
Um. I also enjoy both bottoming and topping with you, and just... getting to touch you more generally. I think you're very handsome.
Well. This was excessive but now we're even.
That sounds delicious, Miles! Truly. Perhaps you'd let me make a lassi or some gulab jamun for dessert?
[ He'd lean into that hand, letting his eyes slip closed, relaxing into the touch. So simple, but so kind and he could feel the calluses and whorls of Miles' fingertips if he tried, and raised his own to cup over the top of Miles' hand. ]
I know you're trying, I see it. It makes me happy that you're willing to give this a go, Miles. As long as you want to take better care of yourself, there's options ahead of you.
Ohhh, gulab jamun is so good, but I've not had lassi in forever... Y'can't make me choose between 'em, so uh, surprise me, maybe?
I know. Jus' wish it were easier, y'know? [ Oop, would steal a very quick kiss. He couldn't help himself. ] That uh, actually reminds me. Jo, m'therapist, actually suggested that I um. 'Initiate a two-way dialogue' with ya about somethin'..
Which uh, when it's said like that makes it sound kinda serious or bad, but i-it ain't, I promise.
[ He'd let out a gentle laugh and reach out to seize and squeeze this silly human's hands. ]
We can have both, Miles.
[ Zadkiel tilted his head after the kiss, brow up quizzically. A dialogue? Well. She was a therapist. ]
Whatever you'd like to discuss, Miles. I'll listen and contribute, and if there are... things we need to change or decide on, well. We can do them together.
"That's quite a while," he'd reply, a softness at the edge. He'd been alive for... well. Since just after creation. But being amongst humans so often, it reminded him just how much happened in one year, let alone fifty.
It was too easy to get detached and forget if you weren't among them constantly.
"I am sorry, for what it's worth, that mercy wasn't brought to you before you died, so that you might have had other choices."
"Mercy and kindness don't always change a man." A sudden and sharp dismissal. It wasn't like he didn't have chances, as an adult, to do something else with himself. There'd been one or two.
One or two johns that loved him enough to have gotten him out of the gang and industry if he'd just wanted to.
He was just a bad man. Always was. Always would be.
"I've got forever to go, anyway." Provided he did just fine at not being Exterminated.
"Ah, you are correct. But they do tend to afford more opportunities than in their absence. Choices may still be made, of course, in many directions..."
That was the nature of Free Will. Choosing one's own path. Though the world and other people could certainly conceal a great deal of options, or a person's own mind could become trapped in familiar discomforts rather than risk the potential of either worse or better circumstances.
"You and me both. Though I do hope you might find some nicer pathways to walk than might be obvious for now."
[ It probably doesn't help that Zadkiel brings up those duties regularly, and that he also doesn't ask for things when he should. ]
It's Spring now... something flavoursome and fresh would be good. I don't know what specifically to ask for, though.
[ Brought Miles' hands up to his lips, pressing them to the deacon's fingertips. ]
As long as you look into it, Miles. That's all I ask. It's your life and your body, but I would like you to be kind to yourself where you can.
[ They were both as bad as each other. ]
Hm. [ Spring dishes made him think of salads and soups, which were so.. simple. He wanted to make something, really put in an effort for Tzad. ] ...I could make us some karahi paneer, with aloo parantha, if you'd like?
[ He would smile, and slip his hand from his angel's to cup his cheek. ] I will, I promise. And I'm.. tryin'. M'better than I used t'be, at least.
That sounds delicious, Miles! Truly. Perhaps you'd let me make a lassi or some gulab jamun for dessert?
[ He'd lean into that hand, letting his eyes slip closed, relaxing into the touch. So simple, but so kind and he could feel the calluses and whorls of Miles' fingertips if he tried, and raised his own to cup over the top of Miles' hand. ]
I know you're trying, I see it. It makes me happy that you're willing to give this a go, Miles. As long as you want to take better care of yourself, there's options ahead of you.
"Well. Angels don't have all that much freedom." A bit, since they'd been given free will, and things had relaxed a little, but those that kept to their duties had a lot to keep up with. As Zadkiel knew well. Unfortunate that he couldn't spend as much time as he wanted with Miles, for instance.
"And demons have, mmm... their own problems." Constant backstabbing and power games and the wrath of the more powerful against the weaker. Even thinking about it all made his heart ache uncomfortably.
"Have you... been a demon for very long?"
Grass is never greener.
He blinked once to the question. Nearly didn't want to answer it. Claim he didn't remember. Sometimes he didn't. Hell, knowing how long he'd been in Pentagram City was more a count by the number of Annual Exterminations than anything else.
"Fifty-ish years." Which was...
Longer than he'd been alive. Though he kept himself from showing it outwardly, inwardly a piece of himself crumpled to acknowledge that. Was it any wonder he'd gotten so...twisted up?
"That's quite a while," he'd reply, a softness at the edge. He'd been alive for... well. Since just after creation. But being amongst humans so often, it reminded him just how much happened in one year, let alone fifty.
It was too easy to get detached and forget if you weren't among them constantly.
"I am sorry, for what it's worth, that mercy wasn't brought to you before you died, so that you might have had other choices."
[ Absolutely. Patron angel of gayness. ]
Oh, well. I certainly wouldn't say no to spending some time with you. I'm sure you've picked up some skills working in that restaurant.
[ Gently cupped Miles' cheek, giving him a softly exasperated smile. ]
But if you don't do that, you won't be able to see if you have made any progress, or if there are still things you need to change and try...
Otherwise you're just going to keep pacing your cage like a tiger in a poorly run zoo, my love.
[ Miles was so glad the angel found his offer agreeable. Wished he had the conviction to outright ask for time with the other, but found it far too difficult for a myriad of reasons, really. The most forefront being that he didn't want to distract Tzadkiel from his Duties. ]
I've always been a pretty decent cook, but I can't say it hasn't helped. Jus' tell me what ya want, and I'll make it for ya.
[ His hand would reach up to place over Tzad's, leaning into the touch, his own smile turning apologetic. ] I know, I know... I jus' worry, you know that.
I'll.. get an appointment booked. Might see if Charlie'll do it, instead o'goin' to the hospital.
[ It probably doesn't help that Zadkiel brings up those duties regularly, and that he also doesn't ask for things when he should. ]
It's Spring now... something flavoursome and fresh would be good. I don't know what specifically to ask for, though.
[ Brought Miles' hands up to his lips, pressing them to the deacon's fingertips. ]
As long as you look into it, Miles. That's all I ask. It's your life and your body, but I would like you to be kind to yourself where you can.
[ Feeling that Love and happiness radiate from Miles had the archangel glowing faintly in response. A feedback loop of soft mushy idiocy. ]
I know. You do plenty, Miles. Knowing you're here, taking care of people and helping to make good things happen... it helps. I know I can rely on you.
[ He was human and he made his own mistakes, but Miles was a man who chose to do Good most of the time, and he cared deeply about people. ]
Mmm, I suppose that makes sense. People need structure, and building your own is difficult. Have your doctors noticed any improvement in your health, at least?
[ Gay gay homosexual gay. ]
I mean... M'gonna do all that anyway, but I meant more in the way of.. Yanno. If there's anythin' I can do fer you, specifically. Like make ya dinner, or take ya out, or... Anythin' ya want, really.
M'enclosure needs more enrichment, that's fer sure. [ Popped a slight shrug before he grew sheepish again. ] I.. haven't really been back fer a check-up yet. I don't wanna go back an' find out m'no better, or I'm worse...
[ Absolutely. Patron angel of gayness. ]
Oh, well. I certainly wouldn't say no to spending some time with you. I'm sure you've picked up some skills working in that restaurant.
[ Gently cupped Miles' cheek, giving him a softly exasperated smile. ]
But if you don't do that, you won't be able to see if you have made any progress, or if there are still things you need to change and try...
Otherwise you're just going to keep pacing your cage like a tiger in a poorly run zoo, my love.
[ He'd return the kiss, nuzzling against Miles' cheek after, rubbing his thumbs over those familiar knuckles once their hands were together. He missed getting to touch Miles, when he was away. ]
Busy. There's... a lot of things happening, both big and small, that have been calling for my attention. I've been run off my feet.
[ Pressed a kiss to Miles' forehead. ]
Thinking about you and checking in here and there does keep me going, though. You refill my cup, even when it runs empty.
Have you been feeling any better with your break?
[ Tzadkiel's presence alone was enough to bolster Miles' mood, but nuzzles? Gentle little touches? It still made him melt, even after all this time. ]
I can imagine. I figured tha's why it's been so long...
[ And then a kiss! Oh, he would be smiling like an idiot. ]
M'glad. If there's ever anythin' else I can do though, ya know all ya gotta do is say the word.
I uh... Kinda? [ His smile would turn sheepish. ] It's been nice, but not really havin' any responsibilities is sorta stressful in of itself.
[ Feeling that Love and happiness radiate from Miles had the archangel glowing faintly in response. A feedback loop of soft mushy idiocy. ]
I know. You do plenty, Miles. Knowing you're here, taking care of people and helping to make good things happen... it helps. I know I can rely on you.
[ He was human and he made his own mistakes, but Miles was a man who chose to do Good most of the time, and he cared deeply about people. ]
Mmm, I suppose that makes sense. People need structure, and building your own is difficult. Have your doctors noticed any improvement in your health, at least?
