Oh wow, who would have predicted that I would end up here again -_- several years later and recently realised that I'd just slipped into old habits and DID NOT recover.
So let's try again, shall we?
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@hexe-recovery
Oh wow, who would have predicted that I would end up here again -_- several years later and recently realised that I'd just slipped into old habits and DID NOT recover.
So let's try again, shall we?
Eat intuitively and without shame. Eating without shame is one of the most radical things you can do.
- daily body positivity
It's been difficult recently. I've felt like I've put on weight and not been eating intuitively. Didn't help then that my flatmate commented on how much food I was making for the next day - when it wasn't that much at all calories wise, just appeared a lot.
So I decided to not eat lunch today and that backfired cos I had lots to eat for tea.
friendly reminder that if u ate today then im proud of u!!!!
and if u ate yesterday; great!! thats awesome!! im proud of u too!!
and if ur gonna eat tomorrow im so damn proud of u!! nice!
eating is good! go do that shit!!
What happens when you starve yourself:
You’ll have bad breath, no matter how much do you brush your teeth. It has nothing to do with hygiene, it’s the smell your body produce while eating itself.
Speaking of that, your body will eat away your muscle. Your hearth is also muscle, and it can go this far.
It does that, because it tries to keep you alive by using every bit of energy left. Which means that you will have no energy.
Osteopenia & Osteoporosis. Your bones have a lot of good stuff in them, such as calcium. Your body will try to fill the calcium deficit from your bones.
Your body is smarter than you think. If it doesn’t need something, it will save up energy by getting rid of it. I’m talking about your hair. Your hair will begin thinning and you may end up with bald patches all over your head.
Your skin will age quickly. Your body is too week to keep your skin healthy.
It will be really hard to focus and to keep things in memory.
Please, if you’re struggling with an eating disorder, reach out for help. Do it now. If we can stop it soon enough, everything can go back to normal! I know you can do this. You are strong and so worth normal life again. Choose recovery.
I don’t give two flying fucks
And do you give at least one flying fuck about the people you trigger on daily basis?
I'm pretty sure the smile lines/wrinkles I'm developing are premature thanks to fucking up my body for years :( please don't start yourselves.
A relapse does not mean you start back at zero. It does not mean you failed. It does not mean recovery is impossible.
We slip up. And we learn from our slip ups. Recovery isn’t perfect. In fact, we don’t want it to be “perfect.” We want it to be real; the happiness, the noteworthy moments, the baby steps, the tears, the frustration, the love.
That’s life. Recovery means you get to experience living.
your eating disorder is lying. your eating disorder is LYING. your eating disorder will tell you things about food that are not rational or true. do not believe it. your eating disorder is not your friend, it is LYING TO YOU. remember that.
fav things about recovery:
˚✧dessert for breakfast
˚✧lots of snacks
˚✧no bloat, no guilt
˚✧feeling more energetic= more time for self care and hobbies
˚✧i like myself a lot more cuz im nice to me
˚✧i don’t get upset when i try on clothes too small
˚✧positive self talk
˚✧i dont worry about calories/fear foods as much
˚✧im a better friend/person in general
˚✧i feel empowered
Positive Message of the Day
One day, you will be in a place where you do not feel personally defined by your weight.
You will eat what you want without worrying about calories, instead just based on what your body is craving. You will eat until you’re satisfied without second thought.
You’ll wear whatever you want, regardless of if society says it’s “flattering” or not. You like it, so you wear it. You’ll try on clothes in stores, too, and if what you have on is too small, you’ll go get a bigger size, and it won’t feel like the end of the world, or anything at all, really. You’ll know that clothing sizes hardly mean anything, vary from store to store, and that your comfort is the most important.
You’ll look in the mirror, and you’ll admire your appearance, or maybe not. But you’ll tolerate it. You’ll accept it. You won’t feel the need to change.
The number you see on the scale won’t define you. You’ll know that weight fluctuates throughout the day, that 70-80% of your weight is predetermined by genetics…but more importantly, that your worth is not defined by some silly number on a tiny screen.
You’ll move around the world, you’ll take up space, and you won’t be the least bit apologetic for it. You’ll love yourself, and you’ll want to join the fight against diet culture to make sure others can love themselves, too.
Now, one day might not be tomorrow, or a week from now, or even in the near future. Finding peace with yourself is a process, and a long, slow one at that. Some days are going to be better than others, and you may have many setbacks or relapses. That’s perfectly, 100% okay!
Hang in there. We’re all rooting for you. Recovery is tough, but you’re tougher.
Don’t listen to that voice in your head that says you aren’t good enough. Because you are good enough, and will always be.
Choose recovery <3
Weirdest things my ED made me do
*Cook for other people with as much butter, sugar etc. as possible while make my own portion as low cal as possible *chew-and-spit *lock myself in the bathroom at parties to do exercises *get addicted to supersize vs. superskinny *make a pro ana blog on tumblr (I’m so sorry for that one) *thrown away food my parents bought because it was the only way to resist *chewed everything like 200x times (must have looked like an idiot) *started thinking every skinny women/girl must have an ED *could literally talk about nothing that didn’t involve food/dieting/looks/workouts
There is surely more I can’t think of right now -> please add to it as reminder why recovery is worth it
Glamorize eating!!! Sunny picnics, lavish dinner parties, breakfast dates with pancakes and kisses, pizza eaten cold in your underwear at midnight, plates of pasta in the Italian countryside, cheese platters decorated with fresh figs, ice cream out of the pint with your best friend….glamorize it all! Make it beautiful and ~aesthetic~ to nourish your body and soul
Sorry, I haven't had internet for a few weeks due to moving house. I also start a new job on Monday. The crappier news is that my boyfriend broke up with me last night. I knew it was coming, things hadn't been right for a while. Usually at a time like this, my ed disorder would kick in even more and I'd either starve or binge/purge. So far those behaviours haven't affected me. Usually I would always use eating or lack of as a coping mechanism for really shitty life events. But hopefully not this time. I will have to grieve like everyone else.
TW: Weight
So I looked on myfitnesspal and apparently I last weighed myself in May. I found some scales at my boyfriend's and decided to see anyway... Turns out I've stayed pretty much the same weight. For 3 months. Whilst eating only intuitively. I thought I'd be putting weight on and I was terrified that I couldn't keep this up. But it's reassuring to know that I can trust my body fully now when it comes to eating. It's not a weight that I wanted to be at, but it's pretty much been the weight I've always been pre-ed and during my several stints of recovery. So I guess it's what I'm supposed to be. And that's okay.
for anonymous, with love ♡