[sooffsides]

He is none of the names previously suggested because Papa Offsides said he looks like a skunk and suggested his name should be Flower after Fleury and the skunk in Bambi! So meet Flower!

[butterflyintochains]

Pens Core Four Tennis Headcanons

Sidney Crosby

Lefty Serve, very difficult to predict where he's placing it

Serve/Volley master, kinda like Sampras or Federer

Forehand merchant, and I love that for him

One handed backhand, old school vibes like Sampras

Grass specialist with a minor in fast hard courts

First Slam: Wimbledon (five sets vs Giroux)

Evgeni Malkin

Also a lefty serve, even more difficult to predict because of his height

Serve like a canon, his main asset

Good at the overhead smash and lobs, mixes it up often

Two handed backhand, used one as a kid

Hard court specialist, especially good indoors

First Slam: US Open (four sets vs Ovechkin)

Kris Letang

Righty serve, loves kicking it out wide with lots of spin

The best mover, likes sliding on court similar to Djokovic

Can rally like a beast, easily able to go past 20 shots

Two handed backhand, one of the most accurate

Clay court specialist, also likes slower hard courts

First Slam: Roland Garros (five sets vs Subban)

Marc-Andre Fleury

Lefty serve, likes just sending it up the T to be a menace

The trick shot master, everyone hates playing him

Prefers playing doubles, but great at singles too

Two handed backhand, not as deadly as Kris', but gets the job done

Grass and clay court specialist, likes a living surface

First Slam: Wimbledon (three sets vs Holtby)

Bonus: Erik Karlsson

Righty serve, laser accurate but prone to the dreaded yips

Also a serve/volley player, loves to rush the net to annoy his rival

King of the Davis Cup, Sweden rely on him at all times

One handed backhand, like Edberg in his day, though less elegant

Indoor specialist, no one gets past him at night either

First Slam: Australian Open (four sets vs Hedman)

[hexyinuniform]

I feel like Flower's antics are a dead ringer for Mansour Bahrami! Mansour is the Trickshot King. They both speak French, I can kinda hear it in their voices, and my other friend that speaks it 😅

[goaltnding]

can john marino be a penguin again, very fond of him

[hexyinuniform]

Same, but Flower.

[hexyinuniform]

Wow, it's been a wild ride for this, between hoards goalies and defensemen. This might deserve its own essay. & it's all Bussi's fault.

[hexyinuniform]

I take back my previous statement, this draft has been an open-faced goalie sandwich.

[hexyinuniform]

This second giant goaltender to Florida, oh my god! These guys are the size of Bishop, and I think he was one of, if not the tallest goalie that I've ever seen play.

[hexyinuniform]

Hey, I just noticed that's the first goalie of round 7. This feels like the draft has entirely been a goalie sandwich from my standpoint.

[hexyinuniform]

Poor Noel. May you be traded anywhere else.

[hexyinuniform]

Wow is that guy tall. That's ridiculous. I thought it was ridiculous getting a goalkeeper at 6'8", but oh my god. Holy fuck.

[hexyinuniform]

Wait, is Bussi the reason why all of these goalies are going? That's crazy. That's my new conspiracy theory, guys.

[hexyinuniform]

Oh no, I feel bad for the poor goalie going to VGK.

[hexyinuniform]

Is Gleb a common name in Russia?

[hexyinuniform]

Hot damn did Vancouver pick quickly.

[hexyinuniform]

Pittsburgh taking a goalie 👀

[hexyinuniform]

2026: year of the Goalkeeper. Although, I do think it is a shame, it might be years upon years until we see these guys in the NHL.🥲

[hexyinuniform]

Holy fuck that goalie is giant giant I tell you I'm so glad because I was actually hoping for this but you know at least Minnesota is having this guy in the pipeline.

[hexyinuniform]

Holy fuck, I get back to realize that the storm's taking out my cable and I can't wash the dang thing and a whole host of goalies have been drafted? What is my life?