unfortunately claude giroux is just the guy of all time. enemy of the state and by state I mean the western half of pennsylvania. these days he is known primarily for a) never winning anything and b) being eerily good at making pigeon noises. as a teenager he had to pick between going pro at hockey and going pro at bowling. when he was 21 he moved in w a recently divorced father of three a decade his senior and regularly picked up the man's kids from elementary school. once got arrested for grabbing a male cops ass on canada day. met his current wife while playing beer pong w both his wrists in casts. the only reason his dick is not on the internet is a conveniently placed beer can. gets constantly bullied by his infant teammates who love to wear shirts w his face printed on them and zero context. his hometowns junior hockey team love him so much they switched their logo to a picture of him as a lumberjack. he used to (?) own two dogs who look exactly like him. he once sent out joint family christmas cards w the guy he lived with where they used a portmanteau of their last names. his wife's name is pronounced ryan. he is obsessed w grilled cheese sandwiches. the most goody two shoes golden boy poster child of hockey hates his ass w a vengeance. he is franco-canadian but he is Not from québec. he is ginger. he is lying about his height. during the 2024-25 nhl season his car got stolen twice within 3 months. he loves shania twain and likes wearing pink. he used to go into the eagles dressing room and ask to arm wrestle random football players. he is one of less than 60 out of 700+ active NHL players to wear a neck guard and it makes him look like a slutty dilf in a turtleneck.
not only that theres also a kid's song about what a guy named claude giroux could possibly do as his day job! not only is he a noted muse for the arts he inspires Range
Florida, mostly, but let’s talk about it. Below the cut I’ll go over all the teams currently without a captain, explain why they don’t have a captain, and then take a guess at who the next guy will be. We’ll find out if I’m right later and I’ll make a followup post about it.
Starting in the Pacific Division where we have the most vacancies, the Anaheim Ducks are in need of a new captain after Radkos Gudas was traded to the Florida Panthers on June 29, 2026. Given how much they just paid to keep him, my guess for the next captain is Leo Carlsson.
Anze Kopitar of the Los Angeles Kings announced his intention to retire at the end of the season on September 18, 2025. He played his last game on April 26, 2026. Drew Doughty is my guess for the next captain.
The San Jose Sharks have officially been without a captain since April 15, 2025 when Logan Couture announced his retirement due to ongoing problems with injury, but the team was without a captain on the active roster since January 31, 2024 when Couture played his last game. It goes without saying that Macklin Celebrini will be the next captain.
Since Quinn Hughes was traded to Minnesota on December 12, 2025, the Vancouver Canucks have not named a captain. I think Brock Boeser is the most likely candidate.
Staying in the West, two teams in the Central Division find themselves without a captain heading into the 2026-27 season. On March 6, 2026, the Chicago Blackhawks sent Nick Foligno to Minnesota, and the St. Louis Blues traded Brayden Schenn to the New York Islanders. My expectation is that Connor Bedard is named captain in Chicago, and with my extremely limited knowledge of St. Louis, I’m going to guess Colton Parayko.
Moving on to the East and the Metro Division, New York Islanders captain Anders Lee signed as a free agent with the Utah Mammoth on July 1, 2026. In light of his very recent experience with leadership, and how much NYI paid for him, my guess for the next captain is Brayden Schenn.
Another a free agent signing on July 1, Boone Jenner of the Columbus Blue Jackets will be playing for Washington next season. I suspect that Zach Werenski has been promised the captaincy to convince him to stay in Ohio.
Perhaps the most dramatic division in terms of captaincy is the Atlantic. The Detroit Red Wings have stripped Dylan Larkin of the C as a result of his request to be traded on June 4, 2026. With the management changes also occurring in Detroit, I don’t have any idea what the future could possibly look like in Hockey Town. I’m going to guess Alex DeBrincat and stop thinking about the Wings.
The Ottawa Senators shipped Brady Tkachuk off to Florida on June 21, 2026, and it doesn’t look like his teammates are too upset about it. Because he decided not to return to Philadelphia, I’m guessing Claude Giroux as the next captain.
When the Boston Bruins gave away Brad Marchard to the Florida Panthers on March 7, 2025, I think it’s fair to say everyone was shocked. Somehow more shocking, however, is that David Pastrnak still has not been named captain.
Anaheim, Columbus, Colorado, Dallas, Detroit, Nashville, NYI, Ottawa, Toronto, Utah, Vegas, and Winnipeg will not play any team’s home opener besides than their own.
Anaheim, Carolina, LA, and San Jose all play their opener against Florida.
Toronto vs Montreal will be the only Atlantic Division matchup.
Philadelphia vs Pittsburgh, New Jersey vs Philadelphia, NYI vs New Jersey, and Washington vs Pittsburgh will be the Metro matchups.
Utah vs Chicago, Nashville vs Minnesota, Dallas vs St. Louis, and Chicago vs St. Louis will be the Central matchups.
Edmonton vs Vancouver, Vancouver vs Edmonton, Calgary vs Seattle, and Seattle vs Calgary will be the Pacific matchups. These are also the only teams whose openers are against each other.
tangentwithtanner
