I feel so fucking angry at my ex's family still. Seeing your family member find love with a good person should make you feel nothing but happy. It shouldn't make you want them to break up because the person they found doesn't have the same racial/cultural/religious background. It shouldn't make you feel the need to discredit someone's character based on nothing except the fact that they don't act like someone from your culture. It shouldn't make you try and set up an arranged marriage while threatening to disown your own son/brother if they stay with a white girl (god forbid).
But this is what my ex's family did. They brought him to Canada as a child and then he fell in love with a Canadian and that was the worst thing ever in their eyes. This is so fucking wrong in my mind and makes them very shitty people.
Obviously there were differences that we would've had to overcome but if we'd had the support of his family and their understanding that I was different than them but that was okay because we loved each other and made each other happy and any differences could be worked around with compromise, then things might've been okay. But that is not what happened at all. It was clear they saw things as their way or the highway, and any time they could make me feel excluded or like an outsider they made sure to do so.
Though I am glad that I don't have to deal with their bullshit anymore, it just makes me so angry that they felt they could act that way towards me. I didn't deserve any of that. I was a great girlfriend and was willing to make compromises to fit in with their Pakistani culture. But I was not willing to be pushed around and have my background and ways of life completely discarded. Nobody should have to do that or feel like they aren't worthy unless they fit into very specific requirements (which you by birth could never fill).
And the worst thing is they don't even think they've done anything wrong. They don't realize they are the bad guys. Because my ex refuses to let them know they could be better. He's never known anything but his toxic family and unfortunately doesn't feel he can stand up for himself.
As a white person I've never experienced any racism in my life, but this experience of these people judging me and rejecting me based on things that don't say anything about my personality, about my worth as a person, about my values is the most maddening thing and this has just made me emphasize even more with people of colour who do experience racism frequently. Though a troubling thing about this too is this family was a brown Muslim family, you would think they would be accepting of others because they would know racism and bigotry suck, but they seemed to only love people like themselves. I heard them countless times say rude things about black people, Jewish people, and gay people. Like??? You ain't shit, no type of person is better than another. Why is that so hard to understand?
titsay
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