ok so i made another headcanon before about phones and things they would all have and mentioned that evan would probably have a dog. so then naturally i just started thinking about all of them which resulted in this. another warning that it’s midnight and im half dead soooo yeah enjoy???
he would be the kid that BEGGED until his parents got him whatever animal he wanted
like he has a lot of pets idk
the first thing that comes to my mind is a bird
and i’m not talking like a cute little parakeet
im talking like an annoying ass huge bird
like they used to keep it in the house but it was just,,,, , so loud
so now they keep it in the shed
(don’t worry he takes great care of the bird even tho it’s in the shed)
i keep picturing a parrot
the bird’s name would either be like something he named when he was little like “rainbow”
or it would be literally just meme
the bird’s name would be meme
there is no in between don’t fight me on this
he would also have a guniea pig named something really stupid too
idk what it would be probably dat boi or another old meme
but he would love that freaking thing
he would like constantly hold it or like carry it around his house
or he would show up at evan’s house holding it and evan would be like “what why”
and he would be like “oh yeah. this is dat boi and he’s coming inside with me”
he wouldn’t have a dog tho
they probably had one when he was little but it passed away and they didn’t think anything could be better than that dog
maybe he would have a hamster at one point too but it would like probably get annoying and he would give it to connor
oh thats another thing for later
long story short jared loves animals
connor would probably be like “i hate all animals. i hate everything. angst blah blah blah
but jared one day just showed up with a hamster like “just tAKE IT”
and he ended up becoming secretley obsessed with this hamster
like when he was feeling really angry and about to freak out he would just watch it run on it’s little wheel and it would calm him down
he wouldn’t name it because “he didn’t want to get too attached”
(he was so attached. he loved it.)
he would buy so much stuff for it
like he would come home with bags and bags of little tubes for it to run in or a bunch of different wheels to try out
his mom would be like “connor what is that” and he’d be like “nOTHING”
it would be a hamster mansion
p.s. zoe wouldn’t know about the hamster
she would be completley oblivious somehow
his parents did tho and didn’t really care
evan was the only person that knew about the hamster other than that
and he loved that thing so much
like whenever him and connor would hang out he would just be constantly holding it
evan probably named it in his head but never really says it out loud
and one day he lets it slip
“aw can we take out hammy?”
and connor’s like “whatthefuck”
and evan gets all nervous and stuttering
but they eventually just start calling it hammy
it would be a really tan almost orange looking hamster btw
and it’d probably be really fat because evan likes to give him treats
side note: the only other animal connor would like is evan’s dog which i will talk about later
alana would always love animals but she never really acted on it much
like she would know anything and everything about animals but would never really vocalize it
until one day zoe starts talking about how she likes animals
like she’s a Certifed Animal Lover™
I feel like she would have a little dog
like not a chuiwawwawawaw i gave up on spelling that rip
but like a little rescue dog
it would probably look like a puggle
and while she’s doing homework the dog would just like sit in her lap
(if u haven’t already noticed this is heavily based on how kristolyn lloyd mentioned alana having a dog or something with her on stage and tbh i agreed hard core)
this dog would be so freaking spoiled
like im talking huge beds made for golden retrievers
purple sparkly collars and harnesses and clothes (the dog’s color would be purple. dont fight me on this) (wow i can’t believe i just gave a dog a favorite color rip)
she would make it wear shoes sometimes and take funny videos to post on her instagram
this dog would have the most extra name of all time
like Persephone or athena or some goddess name
i didn’t include this in the other hc but she would DEF have a vlog channel
and she would be like “hey guys! this is alana and dionysus (yes i just googled that im sorry) and welcome to todays video!”
either that or she would have a guinea pig
but i more see her with a dog
she would love that dog so much
golden retriever. for sure.
she would be the kid who BEGGED their parents for a dog for years and years
like every school essay would be about why she should get a dog
and she would like tape dog pictures to the fridge and on her notebooks at school
but when she got into high school her parents expected it to kind of drop off
she only wrote more essays about why she should get this dog
and they were still like “mehhh no”
(actually cynthia would be fine with it but larry would be like hell no hell no hell no)
so the day she turned eighteen she was like “screw this im an Adult™ now”
and just went out and got a dog
and when she came back home with it everyone was like “what have you done”
and she just shrugs and is like “i’m an adult now i get to do what i want”
and nobody really says anything after that
she loves that dog so much
it would be a girl named kiwi
or something weird but adorable like that
and she would sneak it into school sometimes
she would totally get caught but it would be worth it to her
she only did that when the dog was a puppy tho
when kiwi got big she loved her even more
omg this dog would know so many tricks
like im not talking “sit” and “roll over”
(but obvi she would know those)
im talking like dance and jump and speak and play dead
that dog would be so smart
zoe would work really hard to train her tho
she would try to bring her everywhere
like when all of them would hang out she would make the plans around wherever place was dog friendly ya know
her parents would be like “no dog on the bed!1!1!”
i mean the dog would obviously have a dog bed
(and it would be damn comfy tbh)
but she would always sleep in zoe’s bed
not at her feet but like right up on top of the pillow like she’s a human
ok I’ve gotta stop now time for evan handsoap
i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: i love evan so much okay
evan would never really be the type to beg for a dog
but heidi got one for him at the beginning of senior year just bc she thought it would be good for him
(she tries so hard i love her too)
and at first he was like “oh ok hi dog”
but then he’s like “ohmygod i love u”
it’s def a dachshund/wiener dog don’t fight me on this i know it’s a thing
my hear is melting just thinking about this s end he lp
but he would love that thing so much
he would love taking hikes or little nature walks with her
(the dog would be a girl btw idk how i know this i just do)
and the dog would be very fit
like she would never be fat
she wouldn’t know very many tricks
like only sit and high five
but it’s ok she’s an angel
she’s probably like very light tan almost blonde (if u google a pic of a light tan weiner dog you’ll see what I mean they’re so cute I cant)
and when he’s anxious she can always tell
so she goes up to him and just like sits next to him and kinda whines bc she’s worried?? idk you know what i mean
but at night she sleeps curled up into evan’s side
like wiener dogs when they sleep literally curl into a little burrito
when connor stays over the dog sleeps between them
that’s the only dog connor likes
like he hard core loves that dog
when he sees her he uses this high pitched baby voice
you know the one im talking about
evan thinks it’s the best thing he’s ever heard actually
he loves that connor loves his dog
i just thought of this but what if it was a therapy dog
like he could bring it to school when he had really bad days
and she would be v friendly and love people
and in class when he got anxious he would just stick his hand down and pet his dog
(if u can’t already tell idk how service/therapy dogs work someone educate me)
he wouldn’t bring her with him a lot
bc people would want to pet her and he would get all flustered
and once he got kicked out of a store because the worker thought he just brought in a dog and evan was too nervous to explain that it was his therapy dog
but zoe and alana and connor and jared would BEG him to because they all love her
so when they got ice cream at a la mode he would always bring bonsai just to make them shut up
and the employees there know bonsai and always give them a free vinalla cone for her
ah i just love the idea of him having a dog
