Everyone Deserves Tea

Remus Lupin, age 16. Prefect. I've not got much to say at the moment, but if you need me you can find me here. And if for any reason you can't find me check with James and the others.

[heylookitsremus-blog]

brilliant-evans:

“Really. You know what, I think you need to start putting yourself first.” Lily suggested. “I know it’s hard, but people are doing nothing to help you, so maybe just… Get rid of them. You’re a star, Remus Lupin.” She bumped his shoulder gently.

“Maybe I’ll start putting me first when everyone else stops putting me second.” he said, staring resolutely at the floor. He hated feeling cross with his friends. They had done so much for him, more than they could ever understand. He didn’t have any right to feel ungrateful. 

[heylookitsremus-blog]

brilliant-evans:

Lily sighed and nodded. “You should try to not worry about what other people are saying and doing.” She said softly, looking at her hands. “I mean, you should just look after yourself.”

Remus snorted, but the sound didn’t come out amused. “Yeah, sure, that’ll help things.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

amelia-skeletons:

Amelia smiled when their shoulders touched. “That doesn’t mean that they don’t love you, Remus. It is possible to have more than one friend, you know.” She joked, giving him a nudge. “Besides, what am I? I’m not a figment of your imagination.” 

Her expression turned serious again. “Don’t sell yourself short, Rem. You’re one of the best people I know and if they’re not talking to you much then they’re just missing out.” 

Remus’ smile went rueful. He should listen to her, he knew he should. Everything she was saying was true. It was just... it was getting harder and harder, to feel wanted. 

“No, you’re real. My imagination couldn’t come up with someone this nice.” He said, and tried not to think of Benjy. “It’s not that they’re not talking to me it’s just... they’re not, they’re not...listening.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

amelia-skeletons:

Amelia’s heart ached at his words. “People can get so caught up in their own lives sometimes that they don’t realise what they’re doing or saying. It doesn’t mean you’re not important, because you are, Remus, and anyone who can’t see that is an idiot.”

“You’re very kind, Amey.” Remus said, knocking their shoulders together gently. He appreciated how easily those words came to her, how quickly she offered. Didn’t change the fact he came in second.  “But Ben’s got Emm, and James has Sirius and Lily’s got Marlene, and I’ve got... I dunno. Them, I suppose, when they’re free.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

amelia-skeletons:

Amelia didn’t hesitate before answering. “No, not at all. No one deserves to be second best, to be the backup. You don’t deserve that, Remus.”

Remus gave half-assed one shoulder shrug, not quite able to meet her eyes. She’d said that so quickly, and with so much certainty. Merlin he wished he could think like that.  “Lately, it feels like that’s all I’ve ever been.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

amelia-skeletons:

Amelia’s smile softened when she noticed him relaxing a little. She watched him as he picked at his sweater, pondering over what to say. “The castle can seem so.. overwhelming at times, I know. It wouldn’t be Hogwarts if there wasn’t something dramatic going on.” She kept silent for a few moments, before smiling at him. “Want to talk about it? I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a pretty good listener.” 

Remus huffed out a laugh, watching as the birds shuffled and nipped at each other. It was cold for October, but he didn’t mind too much. Kept him focused. A few moments passed before he said anything. 

“Is it really so wrong, to want to be someone’s first choice? Just for once?”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

amelia-skeletons:

Amelia’s brow furrowed and she immediately felt concerned. Remus wasn’t acting his usual self and never did someone come to visit the owls unless they needed time alone to think. She didn’t want to make him feel pressured, so she didn’t start prodding him to tell all. “Sometimes we all need those little breaks to visit the owls, they seem to make everything a little better, don’t they?” She smiled gently and sat down beside him. 

Remus’s smile felt a bit more natural this time, even if it wasn’t nearly as sunny as he would like. He appreciated that she hadn’t pushed. Most any one else would’ve. He sighed, picking at the cuff of his sweater. “They’re less complicated than the castle, at least.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

benjyfriendwick:

“That’s not what you deserve. I shouldn’tve-I don’t know. His, fucking hell, his sister did something to him and now-Now he’s the same as he was before and I-fuck-I don’t know. I-No-No I’m really not, You deserve a lot more. Especially since you get hurt some much you need something good, something better. Is it-Is it bad that I might’ve-Never-Never mind. What-Oh-Oh Remus. Of course you did, honestly you were-He’d have killed you if you, or I had- had done anything. You did though, I’m sorry-I’m so sorry about what happened.” 

“He doesn’t- he doesn’t remember you at all? Christ, Ben, that’s awful I’m so sorry. I can’t even imagine- I’m sorry. Needing and getting are two entirely different beasts. I’ll settle with whatever’s handed to me. I, I... really? That’s, that’s comforting at least I wasn’t always- I’m sorry, too. I’m really, really fucking sorry.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

brilliant-evans:

Lily took a deep breath and sat down next to Remus, just far enough away so that their arms weren’t touching; she didn’t want to invade any personal space. “How much a part of it is he? Is there anything I can do to help?”

Remus closed his eyes, resting his head on his knees. “A third, maybe less. I just- I’m tired of watching people throw away perfectly good things.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

brilliant-evans:

Lily chewed her lip briefly. “Is… Is it Benjy again?” She asked tentatively, knowing that it was a sensitive topic.

“I’m not going to lie and say he’s not part of it.” Honestly, so much of his life was tangled around his mess of feelings for Benjy he’d given up trying to separate them. But for once Benjy was just the tip of the iceberg.

[heylookitsremus-blog]

benjyfriendwick:

“You deserved more than that. You should’ve gotten better. It was, he’s not-God, fuck the last time I saw him he didn’t even remember my fucking name. And now he’s back in that house with his-With everything, I couldn’t-I didn’t do anything-And it was hurting you, doing al that, it did hurt you and I knew you were hurting and I just-I didn’t do enough though.”

“I wanted you and you wanted someone else, I got exactly what I deserved. He didn’t- fuck, Benj, I didn’t-I’m sorry, I really am. That’s awful, shit. You deserved better. I- you’ve always been the one who deserves better in this equation. I just- I’m used to getting hurt, it’s not new, you love him. I’m making my peace with that, I’m fucking trying, I just- you did enough. You’ve always done enough, I- was there... did I ever stand a chance? I know I’m not- I know I can’t compete, but, it’s stupid, it’s so fucking stupid, never mind. Just- fuck.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

amelia-skeletons:

Amelia made her way into the owlery, letter in hand. She’d come with the intention of just quickly dropping off a letter for her father, but when she saw Remus she halted. A smile instantly lit up her face and she approached the boy.

“Hey, Remus. Doing some mail too?” 

Remus looked up, startled. He hadn’t expected anyone to come here. The Owlery wasn’t exactly a popular location. But he forced a smile on his face and hoped it didn’t look too strained. It was hardly Amelia’s fault he couldn’t handle the world at the moment.

“’lo Amelia. Err, no, just...visiting the owls.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

charlotteedithadams:

More to your nature as the most reckless people in this school.

Wow. Really? So, wait, what about James and Lily? Are they not together now?

Reckless idiots, that’s actually our tag line.

Really truly. Hogwart’s famous on-again-off-again couple is, once more, off again. They’re being bloody idiots.

[heylookitsremus-blog]

brilliant-evans:

Lily closed her arms, raising an eyebrow at Remus. “What’s really wrong?”

“What’s not fucking wrong?” Remus muttered, picking at his sweater.

[heylookitsremus-blog]

brilliant-evans:

Lily sighed and opened her arms. “Come here, you need a hug.”

“I don’t, I don’t really want to touched, right now.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

benjyfriendwick:

“Don’t-Don’t, please-I know you don’t want it but it’s-It’s better for you to just get rid of me. God-Fuck Remus you know that I’m no good. You know that. I-Fuck. I couldn’t stop you from-from getting hurt last year. I couldn’t stop any of you from getting hurt. And I couldn’t-With him-I didn’t-I tried, I tried so fucking hard and it was all for nothing-All that time, everything for fucking nothing-And you needed better but-But- Fuck I couldn’t do a thing. I can’t do a damn thing for anyone. I’m sorry.”

“You know what I am, you know and you didn’t run away, and you’ve held me when I’ve cried and you think you’re no good? What kind of shite lies has your brain been feeding you? It wasn’t all for nothing. You changed him. He knew, he knew and he never touched me, never fucking look my way, who’s benefit was that for, huh? Because it sure as hell wasn’t mine. He let me live with the fact that he could kiss you and I couldn’t, but he also never pushed me down the stairs. And if you think you’ve never done a goddamn thing for  me than I guess I ought to reevaluate our whole fucking relationship, because it’s been you saving me since day one.”

[heylookitsremus-blog]

benjyfriendwick:

“I know he’s gone. I’m very much aware of that fact. Look-God-That’s not-It’ll probably do you some good though.”

“You think I want to throw you away? That’s what you think I want? Jesus, Benjy, what the crap? You know how I feel about you, you fucking know.”