Good Day, Internetocontraptometrograph!

My name is Will. If you insist on reblogging my shit, please spell. I like Dvorak, William Faulkner, and chemistry. If you want to ask me something, leave me an ask. Otherwise, don't. Enjoy.

[heytherewill-blog]

Hello sir or madam (madam?). 

[browneyedandvogue]

[heytherewill-blog]

You just restored my faith in humanity.

[heytherewill-blog]

My life in a picture.

[storiesofsix]

Neighbor offers coffee. Bitter almond taste.

—Insanemathematician

[heytherewill-blog]

YOU ANGER ME

ONLY A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF PEOPLE CAN TASTE CYANIDE   GSAOYIGSRUYWRHSOUIGHSFJVKNSHN

[insane-mathematician]

Check out my other blog

It posts interesting stories with only 6 words.

http://storiesofsix.tumblr.com/

[heytherewill-blog]

I was just...going to-uh...tell her how DANGEROUS it is to talk to guys online. Yeah.

[killeroo-blog]

[gamechangershow]

Fireworks Safety Guide [Click to read more]

[kytastro]

My little brother can't sing, but is insistant on singing the SAME FUCKING SONG and brutally murdering it.

[heytherewill-blog]

The report came in yesterday.  Dougie Howser is DEAD.

[heytherewill-blog]

What foul phantasmagoria is this?!

[uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-deactivated2015]

<3 <3 <3 <3

[heytherewill-blog]

Since when was Faulkener alive whilst the Internet existed?

I hope this is a fictional work.

[laughingsquid]

The Ultimate Fireworks Fail Compilation

[heytherewill-blog]

It's nice to watch natural selection in progress.

[heytherewill-blog]

Just sit right back and I shall tell ye the fate of the famished camper Frederick, who wandered into the forest in search of his lunch, a sandwich betwixt two slices of bread.

-Seven Deadly Sandwiches

[heytherewill-blog]

Gentlemen.

[sozbuckets]

Show me a hero and I will write you a tragedy.

— F. Scott Fitzgerald (via jmscheepers)

[heytherewill-blog]

Things that are literally bigger than Christ

When typed into Google, the following things are just a few of the search terms that yield more results than "christ"

"Twitter"

"Tumblr"

"Haha"

"Lol"

"=3"

"Tits"

"Obama" 

"World of Warcraft"

"Youtube"

"The End"

"Gmail"

"Food"

"I'm angry"

"I'm happy"

"I'm sad" 

 Things that are smaller than "christ", and therefore everything else above:

"Grammar"

"Decadent"

 "Spelling"

"Are we alone"

"Mozart"

"Humanity"

"Hellenism"

"The Enlightenment"

"Philosophy" 

[heytherewill-blog]

Duty is duty.

Pierre Fresnay, Grand Illusion