emo wellness summer

mj // she/her // 20s // athena // infj // gryffindor // demi

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

TOP FIVE THINGS INFJS FIND MOST ATTRACTIVE

5. Out of the box thinking

4. Loyalty

3. Authenticity

2. Moral Compass

1. Wit

[thulium]

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

drinking hot chocolate out of a giant mug w/ little pizzas on it & thinking about the parallels between the boys & the a team

[meagajanedaily]

Happy 37th birthday meagan!! 🥳💕🎉

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

internal & external motivation are two different things.

As motivators go, both external & intrinsic gratification are pretty compelling. One just happens to be a lot better for you.

What I mean is, external motivation only gets you so far - it relies on the constant presence of other people. (i.e. unless you receive their validation, you’re gonna feel unfulfilled).

Intrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is about doing things from love & enjoyment. Fulfilment comes thru the process of doing the task itself, instead of its reception. Intrinsic motivation improves mental resilience, emotional stability, & strengthens your self complex.

I get it tho - staying internally motivated is hard (especially when our entire society & education system is built around external validation what who said that). But as long as you keep making tiny changes to your mental outlook everyday, the reform you’re looking for will come.

(...as a chronic perfectionist I’m not great at this AT ALL, so maybe we can work on this one together).

At the end of the day though? The experience is so much nicer when you can enjoy the journey without being overly attached to the end result.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

gratitude (or, you're kinda the luckiest one out there).

Gratitude is about appreciating what you have when you have it. It can be something as small as a warm shower or as big as the people you love more than the universe. Don't try to block out or ignore the issues around you - without the bad, we wouldn’t notice the good as much.

But by taking the time to recognise the things that you're grateful for, you're actively working to reinforce your own emotional wellbeing, happiness, & resilience. Life is so much more beautiful when you acknowledge the little moments & wins along the way.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

Countess Crow just needs to text Animal Lad & he’ll let her crash at his place, several questions asked 🤷🏻‍♀️

[rylandsgrace]

Iron Man (2008) // Spider-Man: Brand New Day (2026)

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

my babies

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

remember where you came from

6 years ago I got a Pacific Rim notebook from a TimeZone. It’s cheap & dumb & flimsy & so special to me.

For 3 years I used it to write down everything in my life that wasn’t working for me, & all the things I could do to potentially help me get back on track.

‘Reintegrate into society’ was one, but on the smaller scale one of the first things I wrote was ‘Try to wash hair once a week.’ Not to get too crazy but these days I wash my hair three times a week. Sometimes even 4 times. I know.

Something that was so insurmountable 6 years ago is second nature to me today.

There have been times where I’ve wanted to shove the past in a box and never revisit it, because it’s upsetting to look back on. Seeing myself in that much distress is distressing.

But all of that is outweighed by the pride I feel in myself & the inner strength, effort, & dedication it took to get me to where I am now.

When you're busy doing the work & putting in effort to heal and grow, it’s hard to see the progress you’ve made.

When you’re in it, you forget how far you’ve actually come. It’s small everyday things, like wondering why I’m emotionally exhausted after talking to someone for a few hours, before remembering that 5 years ago I’d have needed to isolate myself completely after ten minutes.

So write things down. Take notes. Take photos. Whatever you need to do to record this moment in time.

And don’t ever forget where you came from.

You’re so much stronger than you know.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

life audits (how to, why to, is this a thing I saw on the internet, I don't know man).

Before you start taking action in your life, you have to figure out where you're at. For me, carrying out a life audit is the simplest way of checking in with myself & my life - it’s a method of visually working out where you are right now & where you want to go.

START BY SELECTING 8 LIFE AREAS THAT ARE MEANINGFUL TO YOU. You can choose from some of the ones below or come up with any of your own. There are no preset categories - you decide what a full & well-rounded life means to you.

Some examples of potential categories if you're out of inspiration - Career / Community / Education / Emotional Health / Family / Finance / Fitness / Forever Human / Friendship / Hobbies & Fun / Home / Mental Health / Nutrition / Physical Health / Relationship / Sleep / Social

Whatever you choose right now doesn't have to be set in stone. The life audit is just a tool to help you focus on the big things in your life that you want to work towards at the moment. If something feels too hard right now, swap it out. You can always come back to it later, & your subconscious will work away on it in the background. Also, different stages of your life means that different things will be a priority at different times. 5 years ago, a relationship was not even on my radar. That's not to say that a forever human is not hugely important to me - it is. But at that point in time it was so much more important for me to focus on my mental health, my space, & slowly regaining physical health & sleep.

AFTER IDENTIFYING YOUR CATEGORIES, FILL OUT WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY. Do this from 1 to 5, w/ 5 being putting in the maximum amount of energy towards a section. Be honest. (I'm aware this makes no sense without a visual representation. I'll attach a template or something).

Feel free to revise your life audit whenever you want. I do one every 6 months-ish but I'm weird & obsessive like that. Also keep in mind that just bcs something takes time doesn’t mean it’s not working. Look at things in the longterm - don’t be disheartened by small setbacks.

HERE'S THAT TEMPLATE WE'VE ALL BEEN TALKING ABOUT

ONCE YOU'VE DONE THAT, TAKE A DIFFERENT COLOURED PEN/NEW TEMPLATE & FILL OUT WHERE YOU'D LIKE EACH CATEGORY TO BE. What would your ideal life look like? What actionable steps can you take to get there?

Never aim for 5 out of 5 for everything. No one is able to healthily maintain that standard. I put my ideal Health & Fitness at a 4, max. It’s enough for me to stay physically well & make my body feel good, but not enough to be up at 5am doing 20km runs every morning. Besides, I like pizza way too much. You know me.

I know I keep saying this, but perfection is not the goal. It never is. A life built around the pursuit of perfection is going to be an unfulfilling one. A Life Audit isn't about self-criticism. If you feel you're starting to turn in on yourself, shelve this one for another time.

Wherever you are in your journey right now has no bearing on your inherent worth. Life Audits are just a tool to help understand where to shift your focus to so you can create a life that is full & meaningful to you.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

feel the fear & do it anyway.

Bravery isn’t the absence of fear - it’s doing things in spite of it. (You can trust me on this one because apparently I’m a pretty brave person*).

*read - slightly neurotic but somehow still wildly capable

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

you are so much more than the opinions of others.

When I was 19 years old I was diagnosed with something called Complex-Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Googling the symptoms felt a little bit like a death sentence. I mean, not that I didn’t already have most of them but seeing that I could potentially never be able to maintain relationships - something that I value above literally all else & used to come so naturally to me - written out in a neat list was pretty devastating.

Here’s the thing, though - I’ve been dealing with this thing since I was like 13. And I don’t have trouble maintaining relationships. I have a loving & supportive family, the best friends I could literally ever ask for, & hope for the people that I don’t know yet.

Those symptoms didn’t end up applying to me. Just because it was written down didn’t magically make it come prophetically true.

On the more extreme end of the spectrum, in 1996 Bear Grylls fell 4900 metres out of the sky w/ a broken parachute & crushed 3 vertebrae. He was told he would never walk again & would probably spend the rest of his life as a paraplegic. 18 months later he climbed Mount Everest.

What I’m trying to say is that you are not beholden to the labels or judgements put on you by other people.

The problem is sometimes we aren’t even consciously aware we’ve absorbed them. Try to brainstorm any labels or restrictions that you believe about yourself. These could be things said in passing by others that you’ve internalised or any judgements about you or your life that you've taken on board over the years. Take a step back & look at these objectively - is there any actual evidence to back them up? Is it a fair judgement? Or is it time to let that label go?

Just because someone has made a judgement about you does not make it true. You know you best. It's not your responsibility to adhere to the labels put on you by other people. The only version of you that matters is the one that you see.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

values (a sort of but probably not comprehensive list)

You need to understand what matters to you at your core. Values are the attributes that you value above all else - these are the things that give your life meaning.

The list of potential values is practically endless, but I’ve listed some of the most common ones below -

Accountability / Achievement / Adventure / Ambition / Authenticity / Authority / Balance / Belonging / Bravery / Caution / Comfort / Community / Compassion / Competition / Control / Cooperation / Creativity / Discipline / Efficiency / Empathy / Enthusiasm / Environment / Fairness / Family / Flexibility / Focus / Forgiveness / Friendship / Fun / Future Generations / Gentleness / Harmony / Helping Others / Honesty / Humour / Independence / Insight / Integrity / Justice / Kindness / Knowledge / Leadership / Learning / Love / Loyalty / Mastery / Morality / Peace / Perseverance / Perspective / Productivity / Openness / Optimism / Relationships / Religion / Resilience / Respect / Responsibility / Security / Service / Social Connection / Solitude / Spirituality / Trust / Understanding / Wisdom

Pick some that resonate with you, & then try & narrow down your shortlist to 5. (Disclaimer here: Values are fluid - they change with your life and experiences. Nothing you choose right now has to be set in stone).

Next, be clear in why your values are meaningful to you. Just like there is no one ‘correct’ thing to value, there is no ‘right’ reasoning for you to have. It’s gonna be unique to you. (In my case, I really value Bravery, Perspective, Wit and Humour, Kindness, & Honesty).

As an example, here is how I see Honesty:

To me, closeness means being able to say exactly what I’m thinking. About anything. I wanna hear the opinions of the ppl I love - I wanna know how they think & feel about things. And I feel like it’s my responsibility to be genuine & honest in my thoughts and feelings in return.

TLDR - Knowing what’s important to you helps you get a much clearer idea of the kind of experiences & people you want to surround yourself with in your life. If something aligns with your values, then you’re on the right track.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

I nearly started this section by saying ‘I’m the best at trauma!’ which sounds horrendous, so. Scrapping that.

Whether we're consciously aware of it or not, we've all experienced trauma. Just like there is no objectively correct way to respond to something, there's no one type of 'true' trauma. If something still causes you pain to think about today then it was traumatic.

It’s easy to think that in order for something to qualify as ‘real’ psychological distress, it has to have been devastatingly life-altering (this might have something to do w/ living in a world that constantly normalises & minimises emotional pain but who can really say for sure)

I have something called complex ptsd (which basically means that I'm uniquely talented at finding the exit in any location). What I went thru left me feeling confused & questioning my entire self-complex. My experience seemed so common but I was affected by it so completely when no one else around me even seemed to flinch. I’d always considered myself to be very mentally strong, but the entirety of my teenage years became dedicated to wondering if (plot twist) I was actually weak.

It took me a grand total of eight years to realise that no one else had the same experience as me. And that even those in the same environment had a completely different reality to mine.

Your pain is real because it’s real to you. You feel it. Take a step back & focus on all the ways that you can help make you feel ok. You need to be kind, patient, & understanding w/ yourself.

And by extension, that means the people you choose to surround yourself with also need to be kind, patient and understanding.

You’re not having a panic attack for your own enjoyment. You’re not self-sabotaging as a cool, fun gimmick. There is a genuine reason why your nervous system has decided to take over and go into defensive mode. You just have to take the time to find it.

Don’t beat yourself up about why something so 'small’ is having a big affect on you. By all means, try to figure out what about it caused an emotional response, but take it seriously - don’t dismiss it. Don’t question to ridicule & explain it away - question to understand and heal.

Above all, go easy on yourself. You’re doing so much better than you think.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

PSA. It’s enough for you to just be. You don’t have to perform, or achieve, or host, or entertain. You exist. That’s enough. Anything else you do is just a bonus.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

soulmates

Throughout our lives we meet ppl that we connect w/ on a deeper level - ones we just seem to click w/ but can’t really explain why. It’s rare, & that’s what makes it special. I walk a fine line between extreme cynic & hopeless romantic, but I've got a gut feeling about this one.

Soulmates come in many forms - they don’t have to be limited to a romantic relationship. You might even have more than one in your lifetime. I’m not here to tell you what to believe.

The idea that there’s one special person out there that’s perfect for you in every way might sound super dumb. Or maybe something’s telling you that there are a few souls out there that you’ve been hanging out with for the last couple of millennia.

Regardless of your consensus on the philosophical side of things, there are some common ground rules that need to be considered before making a decision as big as sharing your whole life with someone else:

Can you be your most authentic self w/ them?

Do you feel unjudged, listened to, & free to just exist?

Do you feel like you could tell them anything? Do you want to?

Are you the best version of yourself when you’re with them?

Do your values overlap?

Do they love you unconditionally?

Do they genuinely want the best for you?

Will they have your back no matter what?

Are they one of your best friends?

It’s a lot to consider I know, & some questions you might not even have the answers to right now. That’s okay. As long as you keep them in the back of your mind to reevaluate things every now & then, you’ll be okay. I promise. Above all though, if someone can’t see your worth, they are not the person for you. Don’t lower your standards for anyone. We accept the love we think we deserve. The bare minimum is respect, safety, & honesty.

[heyyyyyyyoungblood]

creating mental distance

Sadly there are gonna be times when physical distance isn’t possible. For the situations that you can’t physically get away from, you have to create mental distance.

You can do this by engaging in an engrossing activity (that sounds horrible I apologise) that keeps your mind interested, occupied, and a tiny bit distracted. This could be in the form of gaming, painting, reading, exercising, etc.

In my case, with the power of TV by my side I've been able to get through just about anything. I’m not great at outwardly expressing panic attacks (it’s super subtle - my eyes just go really wide and I stop breathing) & I genuinely had to pull my dad aside like five years ago & panic-whisper 'I NEED TO WATCH THE HANGOVER.'

My point is, find the things that help you create your own mental distance. Sometimes the best cure is a little bit of peace & distraction.