ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴅᴀʏꜱ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʜᴀᴘᴘɪᴇʀ.

[hheartbeats]

lewdic​:

it felt like the silver around his own finger was burning into his skin as he clutched hana’s matching one in his hand. kasem allows hana to hold him close. he wants hana to hold him as close as he possibly could and never let go. he had spent so much time away from hana and the simple thought of spending anymore time away broke him further. everything was so confusing to kas right now. the feelings between the two was surely still present. if things were over between the two, they wouldn’t have ended up here. but if things weren’t over, then hana wouldn’t be engaged. that’s the factor that makes everything so much more confusing. 

this shouldn’t feel right. hana was set to be a married man and it wasn’t to him. morally, this wasn’t right. they were both clearly in the wrong … but they were both clearly not gonna stop. not when kasem moves his hand to clutch at his ex-lover’s shoulder as he desperately pressed a kiss to his neck. he didn’t have the will to lift his head. not when he’s been crying. he presses another desperate kiss to his neck, sniffling loudly as he tried speaking. “d-dont—” kasem’s words get stuck in his throat. what exactly was the end of that sentence? don’t leave me? don’t let go? don’t get married? don’t play with me? all were valid requests, but kasem wasn’t sure if he can make it past the first word.  

hana held him, as tightly as his physical strength and their proximity allowed. he wasn’t sure what he expected from kasem until now. it was so obvious when he saw the way he held onto the ring. all that he’d expected all along had been to go back to normal. it always seemed lost on hana that it wasn’t anyone’s responsibility to make that happen but his own, and he was far too cowardly to do it of his own accord. he needed a push that nobody else seemed to know that he required. in the moment however he felt as though he had already taken the step towards reverting back to his old self, back to who and what he was when he was with kas; his love. the true love that hana had given up on far too soon, evidently. but how could he have known? kas wasn’t due to come back. not for a long time. and they had lost touch. how was hana to know?

“i won’t.” he reassured him firmly, basking in their closeness without reminding him of their relationship now. as far as hana was concerned, in kas’ presence at least, he belonged to him and would die in his embrace if he could have things his way. he was far too displaced from himself to realise that he could have things his way, if only he would work up a little courage. “kas? hey...” hana gently moved his hands from kasem’s back to his face, cradling his cheeks and attempting to lift his head so their eyes could meet. “hey. i won’t. i won’t.” he wasn’t sure what he was promising to him that he wouldn’t do, but he was certain he was going to keep it.

[hheartbeats]

lewdic​:

maverick cherished the little details in life. all these small details made everything that more beautiful to him. he didn’t see the need in having the newest things (although he was more than grateful whenever he did get it). growing up, it was mainly just him and his older brother, devon. they didn’t have much, but they still tried to allow themselves luxuries whenever they can. he never took anything for granted. every item, person, and experience in maverick’s life was treated like it was worth millions; and to him, they were. he never liked the phrase ‘one man’s trash is another man’s treasure’. that meant that something had lost their original value. things bend and break, but that doesn’t make such items trash. just a bit of tender love and care and it’ll be just like new. that was the case for some of his toys, clothes and other belongings; and that mindset had never failed him. especially when it came to his bass guitar. a gift years ago when his friend’s started forming a band. every effort towards sprucing it up was well worth it. the fact that he had the privilege of being able to explore this part of his life was more than enough for him. 

he found himself in the thrift store again. he had just donated some clothes he no longer wore, but was already perusing the aisles for something. mav wasn’t sure what he was looking for exactly. it was getting colder so maybe another hoodie? or a long sleeve. the weather didn’t always warrant the need for layers, so those would be good to get. he had a general idea of what he wanted, but nothing seemed to stand out to him enough for him to spend whatever money he had on him. although that was the case, that didn’t mean he was going to leave. window shopping never hurt anyone, right? right. he started perusing other aisles. flipping through books and running his hands along sleeves of jackets he had no interest in. 

eventually, maverick found himself in the toy section. his hands carefully picked up action figures and toy cars as he examined the plastic. a lot of these were in good condition. perhaps a small paint job and it’ll be as good as new. he found a small finger skateboard, a wide grin forming on his face. this was definitely something he was willing to spend money on (call it an impulse purchase if you will). he lets one hand guide the board along the tables as his other fiddles with his headphone cord, eyes searching for something else. maybe he could find something for devon to come home to or something hwan may like to put in his room. nothing there fit those requirements, but what did catch his eye was something his friend orlando would enjoy. a plush bunny that had seen better days. one of its ears was a little torn and its tail was nowhere to be seen. he held the small skateboard in his hand tightly as he squatted down, reaching for the stuffed animal. he was planning on sending a picture to orlando to ask if buddy would want a little buddy of his own, but that train of thought was put on hold as someone else grabbed onto the same plush as well. 

maverick was surprised. out of all the toys there, he was surprised to see that someone else had found an interest in this one as well. he followed the arm of the person holding on to the bunny’s arm and found himself face to face with a boy his age. a boy who looked vaguely familiar to him that he couldn’t quite name. using his other hand to take an earbud out, he stood up slowly. “uh…. hi.” his tone was awkward. how else was he suppose to react when he was face to face with someone cute who wanted the same plush as he did? 

jungeun was faced with...a little bit of a dilemma. he would never normally give up a plush to a stranger and this instance was no exception to that rule, but he was rather interested to learn of the reasons behind this boy wanting the same teddy. jungeun often went out of his way to obtain the most tattered of the pile. he had never met anybody else who would do the same thing. as he straightened up to regard the other, the plushie dangling freely as he clutched its paw, jungeun narrowed his eyes. he was usually quite nice. he hoped that characteristic wasn’t lost on the strange boy. he simply knew what he wanted, and was not ready to give it up. not even for somebody as cute as him.

“hello,” he greeted politely. any other encounter, he may have extended his hand also, but the action was lost on him in the shock of the moment. “you...like him too?” at the question, jungeun lifted the plushie slowly into his arms, holding it securely against his chest. his wide eyes moved back to maverick, head tilted curiously. he had pretty much claimed the toy already.

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

     "IS THIS A COMPETITION NOW?” he effortlessly joked with the other. their meeting was funny, so joking around didn’t seem too outlandish. noeul pursed his lips, trying to decide how to respond. he hadn’t openly talked about his past of surfing to anyone outside of the forevers in awhile. he knows that one day, he should be able to embrace it and move on. but not quite yet. not when he wants to impress the surfer in front of him. “i just fall off my board a lot. this is the first time a surfer’s knocked me down.” noeul returned the grin, putting a hand out. “noeul; and don’t worry about, adrian. it happens.” he looked back at the setting sun and the crashing waves. “it sure is beautiful, huh..”

“oh? we can make it one, if that’s what you fancy.” adrian grinned, keeping an eye on the sky to determine whether or not he’d still be safe to go surfing this evening. but the sun was beginning to set and he wasn’t sure he could trust the sea to remain calm for an additional hour or so, so he simply relaxed and kept talking to the boy. normally that would bother him -- he’d never choose socialising with a stranger over embracing his love for the sea -- but noeul was so easy to get along with. “oh? you...surf? skate?” he tilted his head to the side cutely as he questioned him, and offered a smile as he shook his hand. he was so focused on noeul’s smile that he hadn’t noticed the scenery, but with the other’s observation, his gaze turned to the sun, too. “oh,” he said breathlessly, entranced by its beauty. “i’m...would you like to go watch it from down there?” he asked, pointing to the shore.

tag: @lewdic

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

eunjae’s heart swells with so much love. he had always held a type of appreciation and love for leon. he always did so much for him, even if he never realized it. although there are moments where leon was rough around the edges, he always provided a different tenderness to eunjae. one that he had craved for so long. his own hands reach up to hold onto leon’s wrists, the feeling of his christmas gift between his finger tips sending another rush of love through him. he nods slightly, turning his head to press a tender kiss in the palm of his hand to tell him he heard him loud and clear.

he takes the opportunity to push leon’s dress shirt off his shoulders after his own was removed. eunjae take a moment to admire leon’s physique. again, this isn’t the first time leon had ever been exposed to him like this; but it was in an entirely different context. if leon allowed it, eunjae would spend hours just praising leon. for his work, his looks, his drive, his caring nature, his passion, his everything. eunjae would go on for hours if leon asked; and he did.

as leon lays him down onto the soft cushion, eunjae gulps. “i.. like that you make me feelappreciated.” the word trails off into a sigh as he feels leon press a kiss to his collarbone. the further he moved down, the more certain eunjae was that leon would hear (or even feel) his heart racing. “and you… wanted.. you make me feel wanted… desired..” eunjae is slowly getting lost in the feeling of leon’s lips on his skin, eyes closing as he lets his body lean into the male above him.  

his eyes close as eunjae continues talking. he focuses only on him -- his words, his skin, everything about him. “i do.” he murmurs against his stomach, thinking about how no, he won’t go farther than that. not tonight, not while they’ve been drinking and certainly not with work in a few hours. and starting tomorrow, it’s anyone’s guess whether something like this will happen again, but leon would rather they both be a hundred percent present rather than give in to their wants when they aren’t. he pulls back slightly, glancing up at eunjae. “i do,” he says again, pushing himself up until they’re face to face again, and he lowers himself enough for their chests to touch, bodies fitting better than he wants to admit, his hands rubbing soothing circles into the assistant’s sides. “i appreciate you, eunjae.” leon’s lips lower to his neck, where he plants a soft kiss. “and i...” it takes longer getting those words out. it’s like an admission -- a confession. one he’s not sure he’s ready to make even to himself. but there’s something about laying in eunjae’s arms that emboldens him some. “and i want you. always.”

tag: @lewdic

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

sam took a deep breath, slowing down as he turned onto one last street. he couldn’t stay silent for too long. although he wouldn’t openly admit it, he spend a lot of time studying lucio. his friend had become a muse to him without him being fully aware of it. his sketchbook was slowly being filled with lucio’s details: his hands, his eyes, his smile. he spent so much time looking at lucio and remembering his details that he could notice shifts in his behaviors. sam’s silence was doing nothing to help either.

“i… i pulled some strings.” he parked the car in front of a house. specifically, lucio’s brother’s house. sam didn’t know much about lucio’s brother. in all honesty, neither did lucio. he brought the situation up to a different friend one night. not one that his friend group would know (at least, he thinks they wouldn’t know him). his friend had mentioned knowingsomeone who knows someone who could help. that alone was enough to make sam tense. the lack of details and the unwillingness of him to disclose the identity of his connections was more than enough for him to decide against this plan. surely, there were other ways to make lucio happy; but sam was already set on this path. after checking another two times that this could be trusted, he gave kyu the information (a name and general location, which admittedly wouldn’t have been much help). sam wasn’t entirely hopeful that it would work. all his facebook searching wasn’t getting him anywhere with the same information. however, kyu got back to him the next morning with information. an address that was a hundred or so miles north from them. kyu’s source even provided proof of their relation. sam waited until the weekend to tell lucio, which brings them here.

“i have some friends who were able to help and..” sam wet his lips as he shut the car off, turning to finally look at lucio. “lucio, this is your brother’s house.” his hands were shaking around the leather steering wheel he couldn’t let go of. “i wasn’t sure if this would make you mad, but i still… wanted to do something to help.. but, he’s in there if you’re ready..”

lucio froze as he listened. at first because of how serious sam was being, and later because of the news itself. he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to react. it was a good thing. meeting his brother was a good thing. it was what he had come to america for in the first place. it’s where he had tracked him down. he’d been slacking with his journey since meeting sam and his friends, however. he had started building a life for himself here and forgotten what had really brought him to this place. now, sam had reminded him. and he didn’t know what to do.

“some...friends...” he echoed, registering the other man’s words painfully slow. his head turned and he stared, dumbfounded, at the house before them. it was nice. tidy. there was a car in the driveway, a little garden out front. lucio rubbed his clammy hands on his jeans, then wet his lips. he was ready. he had been ready since the second he found out he had a brother. yet, it was so hard to just get out of the car and approach the house. did his brother know he had a brother, too? had he been looking? having had no way of contacting him before, lucio couldn’t have reached out to ask him if he was even interested in meeting him. now he was going to just drop the news on him like this?

he turned back to sam, his eyes wide, a little scared. “okay.” he couldn’t think of anything else to say, nothing to express his gratitude and his confusion and, to be honest, disbelief that someone would go through the trouble of doing this for him. he opened the door before he could change his mind, slipping out of the seat. his legs felt like jelly and once he’d closed the car door, he leaned against the vehicle, trying to catch his breath, mind reeling. he didn’t know if he could go alone.

“s-sam?” he called uncertainly, feeling like the other was a million miles away at this point. “sam...p-please...can you...”

tag: @lewdic

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

JAEBEOM was in the process of unbagging his groceries when the messaging notification chimed through his mainly quiet space. every time he heard it, he got so excited it was almost embarrassing. he always wondered who it was behind the username. it could be anyone. maybe it was someone in one of his classes. maybe it was someone who lived in his building. if it was the latter, he had hoped it was his NEIGHBOR’S ROOMMATE. he always thought the social media influencer was cute. minjun (who he assumed was home judging by the music) was far too loud and careless. it wasn’t that minjun wasn’t cute or likeable. he just didn’t seem like jaebeom’s type. he liked peace and it didn’t seem like that would be in his future if minjun was directly involved with him. not after countless times of jaebeom messing up an art piece because of something coming from outside his room.

A laugh escaped his lips as he read the message. there’s something comforting about being friends with a stranger on campus. there was no pressure to look good or to come off as super cool. if the conversation ended up going south, it was easy to bail out or say something like ‘sorry, i was sleeping!’. however, when it came to user yeoyeo, that never seemed to be the case.  

yeoyeo: i’ve been waitiiiiiiiiiiing yeoyeo: how u? hows class??? yeoyeo: break any hearts yet 2day? j.bobross: lol sorry to keep u waiting :c j.bobross: i went to the store today !  j.bobross: makes up for how boring class was  j.bobross: no hearts broken today :/ how are u ?

 j.bobross: lol sorry to keep u waiting :c  j.bobross: i went to the store today !  j.bobross: makes up for how boring class was  j.bobross: no hearts broken today :/ how are u ?  yeoyeo: oo don’t :c me its ok!!  yeoyeo: oh! i was gonna go 2day 2, sent my friend instead tho :D  yeoyeo: im ok.. tired  yeoyeo: what u hav planned for the day?

he hated to admit that he was so attached to somebody he had never even met. minjun would have known if their paths had crossed, despite never having seen or heard the user in real life. there was a certain kind of energy he radiated, and it pulled minjun to him like a magnet. surely it wouldn’t be any different if they passed each other on the street. sometimes, minjun wanted to suggest meeting, but he felt far too nervous to in the end. what if he didn’t live up to the user’s expectations? what if he was much too different than the other had imagined? the thought didn’t sit right with him. anxiety pooled in the pit of his stomach and he frowned, pushing himself off the bed and stretching his arms, trying to think of anything but that. it was affecting him more than he originally thought it would.

tag: @lewdic

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

haneul’s smile widened as he felt hyunsu hold on to his hand so tightly. he gave the other male a gentle tug towards him so that they were closer together. “ice cream, hm?” he hummed, making it seem as though he was considering whether to take on the suggestion or not. of course he would say yes to hyunsu. “on the way home like.. now? or after dinner?” there’s a bounce in his step as he readjusts his and hyunsu’s bags. even if su’s bag did feel a bit heavier than usual, nothing was ever too much for haneul as long as it helped hyunsu.

“hmm…no, after we pick up dinner.” he hummed, happily. they could snack on that on the way home after getting food. when han adjusted the bag on his shoulder, he instinctively began walking faster. “c’mon, that’s heavy. i don’t want you to carry it around for longer.” usually, hyunsu was all for enjoying the extra time with his friend. but not if it hurt him.

@lewdic

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

when leon says his name, it was like he was brought out of his thoughts and back into the reality of things. eunjae is suddenly more aware of the security of leon’s hands on his body. he hums as he pulls away a bit to look at leon, his eyes slightly glazed with desire. he toys with his bottom lip while his finger tips continue their soft movements. “was i …” his voice cracks slightly, so low and so soft. he’s getting nervous again as he slowly starts remembering his position. “was i too much…?” he questions, although he knows the answer is most likely no. the longer he stares at leon, the more he desires to be close. he swallows hard as he prepares himself to speak. “i just…” his eyes are focused on leon’s build. he was well familiar with it after all this time, but he never got to appreciate it as much as he could now. his hands are on leon as if he were the finest fabrics. he looked at leon as if he were a perfectly marbled sculpture. his fingers went from leon’s chest, to his shoulders, and down his biceps. eunjae was starting to feel shy again as he buried his face in leon’s shoulder once more. “i like the feeling of you.” he gives a slight push at leon’s elbows to encourage him to lift his shirt. as long as he wasn’t looking at leon, he didn’t feel so nervous about expressing himself.

“i like the feeling of.. of your hands. and your lips.” eunjae started working on the rest of leon’s buttons, one coming undone for each kiss placed on his skin as he made his way back up to leon’s lips. “and i like…” he paused, nose against leon’s cheek. his heart was pounding so hard in his chest, he was sure that it could be heard in the silence. “i like the way you make me feel.” eunjae confessed as he molded his lips with leon’s once again. it was tender and sweet; but yet still so needy.

leon shakes his head. despite the clearing of this throat he’s still too choked up to be able to tell him that no, he’s not too much, and he never has been as far as their relationship is concerned, whatever that may be. he continues toying with the hem of eunjae’s shirt as he talks, paying close attention to everything he’s saying. leon has always taken everything eunjae says into consideration; even more so now. so when he feels able to, leon reassures him. “hmm, c’mere.” his hands remove themselves from the other’s frame and raise to cup his face, ensuring that all of his attention is on his eyes. “you’ve never been too much. not a day in your life.” he offers a small, tipsy smile and when he’s sure his words have registered with the assistant, leon returns to his previous position, hands tugging the material up and over eunjae’s head. there’s a newfound confidence settling within him once he realises they’re on the same page. “tell me more about that.” he pleads, sitting up straight and beginning to push him back onto the sofa. he latches his lips onto eunjae’s collarbone, speaking against his skin as he begins to pepper kisses down to his chest. “tell me about how i make you feel.”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

˗ˏˋ  ren opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. he should be thinking about what to watch. he shouldn’t be thinking about kissing hyunjoon. his eyes shouldn’t be darting down to his lips as much as they were. his heart shouldn’t be racing to the point where his head is spinning. the voice in the back of his head was urging him to shift ever so slightly to get their lips to meet. anything to break the tension that hung in the air. but he didn’t move. his hand tightened slightly around the remote, the sound of the plastic breaking the silence between them before he tried speaking again. “ah.. i’m not.. sure. maybe… something.” his voice is like air, so light and barely there as he continued to stare in hyunjoon’s eyes.

hyunjoon’s hand closed around the remote, but he didn’t try to pull it away from ren’s tight grip. “nothing scary.” he whispered back, wetting his lips slightly as he tried getting rid of the nervous feeling settling in the pit of his stomach. the more he shifted around to try and get comfortable, it seemed the closer he would push against his friend, and it did nothing for his nerves. there was a kind of tension he couldn’t describe between the pair. and the longer ren gazed into his eyes, the closer hyunjoon inched to his face.  “can i...have the remote?”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

JISUNG sighs as joon-ji leans the slightest bit into his touch. a part of him was expecting joon-ji to be set on leaving. he was expecting that spunky attitude to retract his arm away from his, making this goodbye definite. yet the weight on his shoulders were still weighing him down. jisung’s confidence doesn’t falter often, especially around joon-ji. in his day to day life, he has no reason to be anything but confident. however, it felt like he had every single reason to be insecure in this given moment. it wouldn’t be the first time he ever liked someone or confessed to someone; but something about this specific confession felt bigger than all the others. as if everything was on the line with this conversation. jisung looks up slightly to see that joon-ji was looking down. good. it’d be a lot easier if he wasn’t looking at him. joon-ji was very expressive in every aspect and he didn’t want to catch a sign of disappointment or negativity while he was talking.

“NO buts…” he took a step forward as he reached out with his other arm, grasping onto joon-ji’s forearm. “just stay and.. hear me out for a bit, okay?” jisung always listened to anything he had to say. before, it was almost unwillingly. like joon-ji was a mosquito consistently buzzing in his ear, occasionally stinging him with what he says. but lately, it started becoming the norm. he wanted to hear about his day and what his friends did and why he doesn’t like a character in naruto and why his teachers suck. jisung wanted to hear everything joon-ji had to say and he was hoping that the other was okay with listening to him this once. he pressed a kiss to his shoulder before sitting back on the edge of his bed.

“SO … maybe saying you were what was wrong wasn’t the… best approach.” he laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. “it’s just mm…” his hands couldn’t stay still as they started fidgeting with his bedsheets. “i mean, sure, you did start as a bit of aproblem at first. but that changed. it changed so much. you became a good thing. i’m pretty sure my favorite thing, at this point.” jisung chuckles nervously as he looks down, fiddling with his fingers. he pauses for a moment, gathering his thoughts. he could say more, but it may come off like he was stalling. a part of him was, but another part wanted to be honest with everything he was feeling. but considering how joon-ji was about to leave, it would be better to hurry. everything was better out than in, right?

“JOON-JI, i like you.”

joon-ji looked up once jisung took hold of his arm. he had his full attention and if asked, the influencer would go along with anything. he lowered himself to the ground and sat cross-legged in front of jisung, taking note of his restlessness. “mm, if you’re trying to get into a guy’s pants, i’d stay away from confessing to seeing him as a problem.” he teased, but there was no malice behind his words. in fact, joon-ji was finding it hard to contain his giddiness. he knew what jisung meant. he understood every word he said and despite his need to freak jisung out a little, he’d been juggling similar feelings lately. there was no other reason he would find himself calling jisung every time he needed or wanted to talk. he wouldn’t wait for him after class with lunch and he wouldn’t stop by to check in on him if he was skipping school for the day.

“hey, ji?” he let the other stew in his anxieties for a while longer before speaking, pushing himself up to his knees and waddling closer to jisung. “you wanna tell me more about all the things you like about me, huh? or are you gonna leave me guessing? i can do that too.” he pushed jisung’s legs aside to settle in-between them, grinning. though unsure whether he was this happy about the jokes he was making or jisung’s confession. “but you know, a lot of people like me…what makes you so different?” his hands smoothed at the bedsheets jisung had been playing with. it was hard keeping the smile off his face. he was fairly certain that jisung could see through it.

@lewdic​

[hheartbeats]

he’s been known to be reckless...on occasion. drinking more than he should, driving too fast (not at the same time, of course), allowing yuri to persuade him to get on a train without a set destination in mind and live. a. little. leon isn’t used to such behaviour, to be truthful. it plays into the workaholic jeon theory a little too well; none of them know how to function outside of an atelier. it’s often joked about that they are aiming to take over the fashion industry, run it as a family, and leon may have been inclined to agree if only he and his cousins could see eye to eye. that is largely his fault (or entirely, for those who want to be picky), yet leon has no intention of patching things up with any of them -- no matter how many times he and ara will bump into each other at shows and shoots.

tonight, leon allows the workaholic in him to simply rest. let loose. something he hasn’t done in months. with the launch of his new clothing line, he’s been drowning in paperwork and been in and out of meetings regarding potential sellers and sponsors. things aren’t going as smoothly as they could be but this evening, those worries are washed away. partly due to his best friend dragging him out to dance. leon is not old -- far from it. but perhaps too mature to find himself comfortable in club settings so, once yuri gets lost in a few other friends she’s met at the bar, leon makes his way back home, where he swirls wine in a glass and drinks himself tipsy. getting full drunk might make for some embarrassing phone calls, but tipsy leon isn’t far from embarrassing either. it’s around the two hour mark that he calls eunjae, asking to see him. work isn’t enough. work outings aren’t enough. and, true, they do spend all of their time together (as a boss and an assistant should), yet, once again, it’s simply not enough. at this point, leon thinks that even having him there 24/7 wouldn’t satisfy him thoroughly. there are not enough hours in a day, and enough days in a week.

he does not know whether eunjae has made it home, or if he’s still at the atelier, and so he won’t know how long it’ll take the other to get here. he’s sure he’s slurred his words and it’s bound to worry him at least a little, but he was smiling, too. uncharacteristic of him, but something that should clue anybody in to his current state. leon sinks into the sofa cushions. it’s a waiting game now and he’s shy. shier than he’s ever been. or maybe it’s excitement, some euphoria. he covers his eyes with his hand and drags it over his face, laughs breathlessly into it. eunjae...god, eunjae. he’ll be here soon.

tag: @lewdic

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

when leon says his name, it was like he was brought out of his thoughts and back into the reality of things. eunjae is suddenly more aware of the security of leon’s hands on his body. he hums as he pulls away a bit to look at leon, his eyes slightly glazed with desire. he toys with his bottom lip while his finger tips continue their soft movements. “was i …” his voice cracks slightly, so low and so soft. he’s getting nervous again as he slowly starts remembering his position. “was i too much…?” he questions, although he knows the answer is most likely no. the longer he stares at leon, the more he desires to be close. he swallows hard as he prepares himself to speak. “i just…” his eyes are focused on leon’s build. he was well familiar with it after all this time, but he never got to appreciate it as much as he could now. his hands are on leon as if he were the finest fabrics. he looked at leon as if he were a perfectly marbled sculpture. his fingers went from leon’s chest, to his shoulders, and down his biceps. eunjae was starting to feel shy again as he buried his face in leon’s shoulder once more. “i like the feeling of you.” he gives a slight push at leon’s elbows to encourage him to lift his shirt. as long as he wasn’t looking at leon, he didn’t feel so nervous about expressing himself.

“i like the feeling of.. of your hands. and your lips.” eunjae started working on the rest of leon’s buttons, one coming undone for each kiss placed on his skin as he made his way back up to leon’s lips. “and i like…” he paused, nose against leon’s cheek. his heart was pounding so hard in his chest, he was sure that it could be heard in the silence. “i like the way you make me feel.” eunjae confessed as he molded his lips with leon’s once again. it was tender and sweet; but yet still so needy.

leon shakes his head. despite the clearing of this throat he’s still too choked up to be able to tell him that no, he’s not too much, and he never has been as far as their relationship is concerned, whatever that may be. he continues toying with the hem of eunjae’s shirt as he talks, paying close attention to everything he’s saying. leon has always taken everything eunjae says into consideration; even more so now. so when he feels able to, leon reassures him. “hmm, c’mere.” his hands remove themselves from the other’s frame and raise to cup his face, ensuring that all of his attention is on his eyes. “you’ve never been too much. not a day in your life.” he offers a small, tipsy smile and when he’s sure his words have registered with the assistant, leon returns to his previous position, hands tugging the material up and over eunjae’s head. there’s a newfound confidence settling within him once he realises they’re on the same page. “tell me more about that.” he pleads, sitting up straight and beginning to push him back onto the sofa. he latches his lips onto eunjae’s collarbone, speaking against his skin as he begins to pepper kisses down to his chest. “tell me about how i make you feel.”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

jihun hummed in response. it was understandable to see such rumors and react negatively. a part of him didn’t think the outburst was entirely justified. especially when kun has been in the media’s eyes before and faced with such rumors. however, it was justified considering that jihun entirely brushed it off without as much thought to how kun would take it. jihun has had his fair share of dating rumors and hookups & he was sure kun has as well. but this was different. jihun needed the reassurance that he was wanted in a romantic aspect; just like how he should’ve reassured kun. the thought of doing so slipped his mind as the two of them didn’t have a label to what their relationship was; despite it being obvious. “i.. understand that. i should’ve told you sooner.” jihun sighs as he pulls kun closer to him, letting the other fiddle with his fingers. “i don’t really like the rumors coming out anymore either.” he confesses. rumors about him and kun were always dismissed. he was never faced with any upset feelings upon seeing rumors of the two of them. perhaps it was because they weren’t entirely rumors? he has yet to figure that out. hopefully, tonight he can. “was there.. anything else you didn’t like?”

kun was beginning to grow restless in jihun’s arms. he fidgeted until that alone wouldn’t satisfy him and he stood, pacing, hands pushing through his hair. “i don’t...” they were nearing the confession stage. kun had never thought they would. he was sure he had blown any chance of having something meaningful with jihun, and now that he was proven wrong, he didn’t know how to embrace it. “i just...these rumours. all of them, they...i don’t like them.” he was so frantic that words were beginning to spill from his lips without much thought. kun hadn’t experienced a lot of anxiety in his life, but this was definitely a stressful-enough situation for him to be hit with this sudden wave of restlessness. “i don’t like the thought of us...you...with anyone. it’s just not...it’s not plausible, it makes zero sense. you...we...” he trailed off, cheeks and ears bright red. he wasn’t facing jihun now, but could see him out of the corner of his eye. “i’m so...” gritting his teeth, exasperation taking hold entirely, kun was one aggressive stomp away from turning the situation comical. “gay.” he blurted out without an extra second’s thought. what else could he say? what other word could speak volumes to how he felt and justify his behaviour since morning? “i’m gay. it fucking sucks but i. am gay.” he glanced at jihun, eyes narrowed. “and so are you. with me. that’s it.”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

he relaxed when minwoo said he’ll come over. he always felt more at ease whenever minwoo was around. he had stuck around moonlight since debut and the fact that he was close in age made things that much better. it was like having another friend with him at all times. “sounds perfect.” he opened one of the cups and popped one more treat into his mouth before handing it to minwoo to put away. “d’you think i should text the others asking what they want?” yubin speaking while chewing and behind his mask meddled some of the words together, lifting his mask slightly to take a long sip from his coffee. “i think i might get another..” he commented, his pout being heard despite not being seen. he inspected the plastic coffee up and took note of how it was already nearly halfway. “can i get another iced coffee too?” yubin looked at minwoo with hopeful eyes. he wanted another one, but it may not be the best idea considering they did have schedules tomorrow. ( @hheartbeats​ )

Minwoo took the cup gently from yubin’s hands, tucking it inside his bag. “mmhmm. text them quickly though. i don’t know how much longer we’ll get away with hanging out in one place. we should move soon.” he wanted to take yubin out as much as he could, and not just for shopping purposes. he wanted him to take in the scenery of their beautiful city, stare at the flowers in the park, big buildings, heavy traffic. he wanted him to feel a little normal. it was easy to lose your head in this industry; he’d seen it happen to his brother. “you can get another of both if you come on a light jog with me tonight.” he smiled, patting the artist’s knee as he stood. he would go get them for him, and then take him someplace else. “gym, thirty minutes. enough to tire yourself out and be able to try to sleep.”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

  “i’m really glad you came with me on this trip.” sam spoke loudly over the music lucio was blasting & the wind coming from the open windows of his blue jeep. he was the only person he wanted to ask on this trip and for good reason too. not too long ago, lucio had told him about wanting to find his brother. ever since sam learned about all these details of lucio’s life, he was determined to help one of his best friends. he does this at the station for missing people at work. if lucio’s brother wasn’t in their systems, he could ask surrounding counties. the state was big, but that wasn’t going to discourage sam from looking. after weeks, he ended up finding him not too far. it was in the same direction of a popular city, so sam could play this surprise reunion off as a type of spontaneous road trip. after all, lucio WAS the one who was always telling sam he needed to loosen up.

  the drive itself wasn’t too bad. sam did make a couple stops at shopping districts and food places to keep up the road trip story & to lead up to this very moment. the freeway turned into city streets and the city streets turned into neighborhoods. as the roads got calmer, sam decided that this was the best moment to speak up. “hey.. i actually.. had a different motive for driving all the way here besides a road trip.” the brunette reached over to lower the volume as he got closer and closer to the house. if his heart wasn’t racing already, it was running marathons by now. his hands nervously adjusted on the steering wheel as he turned onto another street. “and i really hope you won’t get mad about it..” sam had been thinking about what to say to lucio most of this car ride, but he was still so nervous. lucio had always made him just a little bit nervous and this scenario was no exception. ( @yecntanie )

lucio was...carefree, in many ways. people could describe him as careless, but those closer to him knew better. sure, he’d stick his head out of a window and whoop after convincing one of the other boys to speed down a deserted road, and he would lose his too-big sunglasses in the wind as he did so, but he would also urge them to slow down and back up so he could retrieve them so they didn’t hinder another driver’s future journey. this time though, he was hyper-aware of the fact that sam was a police officer. and lucio wasn’t scared or worried about his friend, but rather about getting him in trouble should he be too much like himself on this trip. the most he could do was lean his head back and sing along to the music coming from the speakers, pushing his arm out of the window when no cars came from the other side.

“i’m glad you asked me to come on this trip.” the blonde countered, reaching out to pinch the other’s cheek. he hadn’t altogether noticed that they were moving away from the busyness of the city. lucio fully trusted sam and whatever it was he wanted to do on their time away. but as soon as they began to slow down and sam spoke up, he straightened his posture and lowered his sunglasses, giving him his full attention. sam was often serious. he was probably the most serious out of their whole friend group, which was why lucio tried his best to get him to loosen up. but this didn’t feel like the appropriate time for such a suggestion.

“oh?” lucio shifted nervously in his seat, finally beginning to take in the area they were in. residential. he looked back at sam, blinking. “why would i be mad at you? where are we?”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

jihun smirks when he feels kun next to him. “you DO deserve better,” he turned, pushing his glasses down slightly to look at him. “that’s why you have ME.” kun certainly was not like other guys. the rapper couldn’t quite place it yet but something about kun just pulled him in. he was certainly whiny (right now being a perfect example of that), but it never felt burdensome like past flings. when the question about a kiss came up, jihun stopped in his tracks. he got close to kun (but not close enough to raise too much suspicion), a relaxed smile on his face. “if you want a kiss so bad, come get it.” he was teasing. neither of them had expressed wanting to be exclusive in anyway; and kissing in public would certainly raise many questions. this was more a test than anything to see if kun would actually cave in. jihun didn’t care too much about whether or not they kissed in public. he had diverted topics from anything involving relationships for awhile, so this wouldn’t be a challenge.  

he hummed at the rapper’s cockiness. it was how kun liked them after all, but not too much -- they couldn’t overshadow him in that respect. “mm, that’s why i’ll keep you, too.” kun hadn’t been thinking about a long-term relationship with jihun, whatever that may have been, but his own words got him slightly yearning for the other’s companionship. more so when jihun challenges him, and whereas kun may have normally rejected the idea (for jihun’s sake, of course), this time he found himself stepping up to close the gap between them. “okay.” he grinned mischievously, leaning up slightly on his tip toes to reach him better, before he threw his arms lazily around the other’s shoulders. “do i have to do it right-away or can i wait til there’s a crowd?”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

        jaedeok blinks back tears of his own. he’s a member of the most notorious gang in the city and he was breaking due to a boy. a boy he was risking his ass for if it means saving his instead. “i know i don’t have to.” he pauses, taking the time to massage his back softly. “i know.. i don’t have to do anything. but i want to.” jaehwa wasn’t a protector or a legitimatesignificant other. he wasn’t even a friend when this all started. he was just a classmate jaedeok saw so often that he became engraved in his memory.         “i’ve been helping you for awhile, haven’t i?” he shifted, nervous about saying something wrong. “i didn’t have to do that before. but i did it anyway.” he sees the way myung-dae (and the others) treat shinjiro and haoyang. although he has no personal dislike towards them, he understands the break of loyalties. he had risked that very same treatment to keep someone safe. “jaehwa, i…” his breath is trapped in his lungs as he thinks about what to say. what did he want to say? this sentence could end so many ways. it could be a confession, but even then was it something worth saying now? even when he felt the slightest bit unsure on his own side. even the mention of a romantic interest probably would seem poor considering the situation he was in. “jaehwa, i would do anything to keep you safe.”         jaedeok lets out a shaky sigh after speaking. the feeling of jaehwa’s lips on his neck also didn’t help his thoughts. “i’ll stay as long as you want me to.” he nods, holding him tighter if that was possible. “i’m all yours, aren’t i?” he chuckles at the phrase. it was something jaehwa said to him often when he would start getting stressed in public about their so-called relationship. he tilts his head down to press his lips softly on the top of his head, smiling into jaehwa’s hair as he took him in.

“you do enough.” jaehwa croaked after a long silence. his voice felt odd to use; unfamiliar. the sobs trapped inside his throat. he wasn’t going to let them out regardless of how he felt, but he was suddenly aware of the fact that he was on the verge of tears. maybe this wasn’t about love and zhuang at all. it had been a small comment that jae would usually clap back at quite easily, but his mood hadn’t been the best for a good few weeks. he hadn’t wanted to admit it and, to his knowledge, the others hadn’t notice either. “you do. i feel safe with you.” there was nothing more that jaedeok could do to ensure his safety. he already kept himself glued to his side when they were out and checked in periodically during the day when they weren’t together. jaehwa had taken to texting him while he was at the warehouse too, making sure he was as safe as he could be given his line of work. “i feel...” he tilted his head back to wet his lips nervously, then nuzzled back into the other’s neck. his grip on jd’s waist tightened. they were already so close, and yet it didn’t seem enough. “i feel the safest with you, jd. is that crazy?” wouldn’t most people feel safe with people they were closer to? friends? family? in places like their own home? quite honestly, jd was beginning to feel like that home.

“what if that’s...a while? don’t you have to sleep?” pout evident in his voice, jaehwa tilted his head up again, barely catching a glimpse of jaedeok’s eyes before he leaned in to kiss his head. the longer they lay wrapped around each other, the more relaxed jaehwa became. he debated whether or not he should be voicing every little thing going through his head, but he couldn’t help doing it when he was so vulnerable. what was the harm in letting everything out for the night? he could go back to being the way he always was in the morning. “thank you, jd. i love you.”

[hheartbeats]

lewdic:

voice acting proved to be a lot different than running a podcast. even when he was pulling different voices or characters, that came naturally. those were based off a younger or alternate version of him. those were based off people he’s met along the way. so the idea of him voicing a brooding, angsty teen in a bl webseries was new to him. it was far from who he was as a person, but it was something that paid the bills. that’s what he had to keep reminding himself as the episodes in the series progressed to what it was now. it was expected; but he didn’t realize just how … difficult it would be to read lines with hangyu, his roommate and best friend.

he had woken up fairly late today. he was at the studio rather late last night to record his solo lines. their place was quiet, so he had assumed that hangyu was still sleeping himself. chanyeol took the time making himself breakfast, settling down at the kitchen counter as he flipped through his script. they could only avoid that scene for so long until the directors got impatient. he couldn’t help but sigh. the scene itself wasn’t terrible. in fact, it was well-written and everything in the series had built up to this point. it was just the person he had to do it with that made it harder than it should be.

it took chanyeol awhile to realize his place was a lot quieter than it should be. hangyu had a tendency to sleep in, but not this late. he checked in his roommate’s room to find that he wasn’t in there. confused (and a bit concerned), he sat back on the barstool and called his cell phone. “hey,” chanyeol took a sip from his iced coffee. “where’d you run off to?”

hangyu didn’t often fall asleep on the job. so when his phone rang loudly in his pocket, he shot up from the comfortable seating, his face flushed with embarrassment. he scrambled to find his phone and answer quickly, although he couldn’t keep the slight panic or the huskiness of his voice at bay. he was too tired to be working this early, considering he had been up very late the previous night. “hi. hey. good...” he checked his watch, “good afternoon...” clearing his throat, hangyu threw himself back against the seats, groaning slightly at the pain shooting up his back. “i’m at the studio...i figured i could practice a little...” the details were unspoken between them. chanyeol knew him well enough to understand how he felt about practicing those lines in such close proximity to the person who would eventually be on the receiving end of them. he didn’t want to make things awkward.

“um...what’re you doing?” that same awkwardness began leaking into the conversation. did he want chanyeol to join him, or pick him up, or would he take advantage of the coldness of the outdoors to walk home and (hopefully) wake himself up enough to be able to hold a proper conversation with his roommate. “i’m having a bit of a hard time with this episode actually, i...” he took a breather; sighed into the phone. “maybe i’m not...cut out for series like these...” it was something he would never confess to chanyeol face-to-face, so he took advantage of the fact that they were a few blocks away from each other and talking over the phone.