hi lisa

[chubbinafatzarelli]

this is the single saddest thing I’ve ever seen on cutthroat kitchen

[youtubeurl]

[shoelight]

cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you

me: yeah he was not very friendly

[memecenterz]

[memeufacturing-deactivated20161]

me: good morning linda linda, who has backpacked across europe: not nearly as good as the morning that i experienced as i saw the sunrise across Barcelona,

[hellanerd]

[audreyhepbuns]

Please don’t post any Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Road Chip (2015) spoilers.

[flip56000]

Popping bottles in the ice, like a lizard. When we drink we do it right, with a lizard.

[the-great-nipple-crisis]

[janetvandegraaff]

witches can be right

giants can be good

you decide what’s right

you decide

[hi-katarzyna]

Me: hey goat farmer, what is that truck over there for

Goat farmer: it totes m'goats

[addelburgh]

[drugera]

“ok who used all the fucking Head N Shoulders?”

[roobics]

haha nigga ain’t even got shoulders

[zackisontumblr]

*wants body to look a certain way* *eats 3 cookies, mac n cheese, kitchen sink, and small neighbor child*

[hi-katarzyna]

someone: everything will be okay

me: source?

[exaltedoltura]

Young Man

Theres a Crab on the Ground, I said Young Man,  There Are Crabs All Around.

[drownmysorrowsinlemonade]

psychic: *reads my mind* my mind: *the backyardigans theme song* psychic: what the fuck

[hi-katarzyna]

How to murder

Step 1: put the knife right in

Step 2: take the knife on out

Step 3: put the knife back in

Step 4: and twist it all about

Step 5: do the hokey pokey and he's probably dead.