just had a motherfucking SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE listening to this song stoned holy shit itās so goodĀ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui9d2RcczSs
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@hidingunderflesh
just had a motherfucking SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE listening to this song stoned holy shit itās so goodĀ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui9d2RcczSs
oksy i knoe this is my blog where i come to be sad and shit biut iām really fucking stoned and iām having like the best time of my life. i donātn usesally bring up this type of shitt to my freinds cause iām always afraid theyāll think iām like bragging about being high or whatever but god i love weed so much
i have a small discord server with just me and six of my friends and it feels like me and one other person are the only ones on there anymore. like i know two of the people barely ever come on cause they have internet issues but like it used to be that the other five of us would talk all the time and now itās like me and my one other friend will send messages to various channels every few hours or so and no one will respond to them. it really sucks cause this was the first space i ever had to talk about fandom stuff after being in fandoms for years but being too socially anxious to make internet friends and then boom two of my irl friends got me into one of their fandoms and i actually had people to talk to who were as invested in a thing as i was. but now neither of those people pretty much ever message me back when i talk in the channel devoted to our fandom. and the one other person who talks in the server isnāt into it. i donāt know what to think. i joined this server right before quarantine and school getting cancelled and all that stuff and we would talk literally all night long but now that restrictions have been lifted and we can actually go outside and hang out with other people in person itās been dead. i feel like everyone was only talking in the server because they had nothing else to do and no one else to talk to during quarantine and me, being the dumbass that i am, got used to all of that communication and attention. and now that thereās other options, everyone who has actual shit that they can do is going off and doing that and iām just here rambling about playlists and giving fic recs to an empty audience. i think what makes it worse is that one of the people whoās in the fandom with me and never messages me back is permanently online, and iām sure thatās just because he keeps discord open on his computer 24/7 or something like that but it feels like heās seeing all of my messages and just choosing to ignore them. it sucks because iād never had a space to talk about my hyperfixations with people that i knew were actually interested in them, and it was fucking phenomenal cause my anxiety always prevented me from talking about them beforehand cause i knew nobody was into what i was into but suddenly i had two friends to hype me up and now it feels like neither of them care anymore. i know iām probably being overdramatic, i know one of them has work now that things are opening up again and thatās probably why sheās never online, and they probably donāt mean to ignore me it just sucks. iām thinking of trying to find a server devoted to that fandom but also the idea of entering a server full of strangers is fucking terrifying to me so iām not really sure what iāll do.
until i bleed out.
how does this happen?????
which god or devilās dick do i have to suck to get a functioning human body jesus fucking CHRIST i just want to be normal iām sick of taking pills that donāt work like they should and i canāt even complain because itās such aĀ āmild and basically harmless thingā and everyone else has it so much worse but itās affecting me in my day to day life itās frustrating and uncomfortable and sometimes it hurts and i just want it to STOP so that i donāt have to annoy everyone else with my subpar ways of dealing with it
iām not TRYING to be disgusting, itās just that i canāt fucking HELP IT.
20 (intrusive) questions
put a # in my ask
1) how would you describe your relationship with your mom/dad
2) when was the last time you cried and why
3) whats your favorite/least favorite quality about yourself; why
4) do you smile at strangers
5) how often do people (not family members) tell you they love you
6) how is your life different now from two years ago
7) would you ever cheat on someoneĀ
8) are you a jealous person
9) whats the worst pickup line someone has asked you
10) do you believe in ghosts
11) what are your ambitions
12) 3 deal breakers in a relationship
13) what is one thing youāll never do again
14) whats your most bizarre pet peeve
15) what is your favorite memory
16) whats your zodiac sign
17) whatĀ āsmall thingsā things terrify you
18) do you like your laugh
19) have you ever stalked someone/been stalked
20) do you feel loved
i should have known better than to be mentally ill in high school
i think i am going to start making a queue so this blog is not just flurried reblogging sprees from the hours of one to five am every other day or so. queued posts will be tagged #sol.auto.