dexilinlaw
❝ dude, the costume? sweeeeet.
i say this as someone who's actually been to hell and back. ❞

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@highonspeed
dexilinlaw
❝ dude, the costume? sweeeeet.
i say this as someone who's actually been to hell and back. ❞
Send "What's this?" And I will generate a number to see what item your muse has found in mine's belongings.
Mix of nsfw, angst, and fluff. Numbers 1-15
Click here for an online random number generator.
Sex toy
Teddy bear
My muse’s old baby blankie
Old photographs showing my muse was abused when younger.
Playboy pictures
My muses’ old family portrait.
A love letter my muse meant to send yours, but never did
A condom
A weapon
Lubricant
Paddle
Stolen gems
Chains and whips
Flowers with your muses name on the tag
Handcuffs
Billy hissed and jerked slightly as the alcohol started working, white bubbles forming along his wound. “You know I need time to do my magic. Gotta-” He pauses for a moment to take in a sharp breath as his brother adds more antiseptic to his wound. “Gotta focus. Kind of hard to focus when I’m trying not to die.” Billy looks down at the cut, which is still bleeding way too much.
"I don’t need a hospital. No way I can afford it. Could you just wrap it up?"
❝ --- look if this thing gets infected, i'm taking you to a hospital, deal?
i'm not doing some freaky medical procedure where you tell me to cut off a chunk of your leg 'cus you're too worried about the price.❞
( he finds some cotton pads and crepe bandages and tries his best to apply them as deftly as possible, tying it together in a loose knot which, evidently won't hold so it gets matched up with some masking tape in the process. )
❝ wanna tell me what sort of stupid mission you got yourself involved in?❞
"Close. I am of many stories— though most of them are exaggerated. And surprisingly enough, I’m not up to any mischief today. At least, none that you know of. Not that you should suspect me— I’m a Young Avenger. Er, former Young Avenger.”
❝ you're still... as you put it, 'of stories' so there's gotta be a reason to that. and dude i'm pretty sure that line has been used by every baddie ever plus, aren't you like the god of lying and escapism?
(i'm pretty sure that's what you are.)
okay woah woah woah, rewind here. you were a what now? someone seriously needs to tell me what happened when i was gone.❞
Put "I like the view" in my ask and my character will react to yours saying that after accidentally catching mine naked.
morseisms:
“you’ve got one ready, don’t you? come on then; better out than in.”
❝ ---- nah the element of surprise that would've accompanied it has been lost, so by extension so has the point. dammit, now i have to think up something more creative, damn you barton, ❞
[ hey i know i said i was busy but i also want some new threads so shoutout to all my new mutuals + any old ones i haven’t talked to before, like for a starter!! ]
[ hey i know i said i was busy but i also want some new threads so shoutout to all my new mutuals + any old ones i haven't talked to before, like for a starter!! ]
yo yo yiggidy yo, i know i've still got a TON of replies to do and stuff, but y'know what school is kickin' me up the ass all the way to the other end of the damn galaxy. -- though that's also probably my bad for signing up for three clubs and the student council.
anyhow, i've got a ton of work that needs to be done, and not enough time to RP. i'll be on in a week or so when i'm a little more free but 'til then adiosa amigos. if you wanna hit me up some place else feel free to ask for my skype/twitter/main and i'll probably respond to you there.
and for the record i'm aware i haven't replied to some age old threads but like i said i'll get on that in a week.
seeya.
katiekins;
❝no way. that was a one time thing. fool me once if you think i’ll ever be stupid enough to feed into that mammoth ego for one second longer ! your christmas present, by the way, is me.
presented with a smile & a bow on top.❞
she curtsies in an unashamed ironic fashion, gesturing to the very real bow placed neatly among dark locks of hair. the visual humor is apparently too much for her poor suffering heart, a heavy coughing fit following a sudden spurt of outrageous laughter. at her own joke, nonetheless. had she been in almost anyone else’s company she may have at least tried to nosedive into safer waters to spare her reputation.
❝you’re gonna have to impress me a bit more than this trainwreck of a date if you want me to consider it one. like. ok, pretend i didn’t use the word ‘date’ there, which takes away from the threat i was trying to convey. gonna have to really work up a sweat trying to churn that recipe and eat food off THIS ass.
…
oh, my god. i was just trying to combine the— you know what, just, don’t. don’t say anything.❞
at least the streets were dead. it dawns on her halfway across the road that some greasebag junctions may as well be closed. a troubled pout slides in place of the smile she’d worn so proudly and kate folds her arms, walking in front, walking backwards — as if to show off her startling mediocre posture.
❝not that i condone thievery —— but, honestly. what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done, ya hoodlum? do you make a habit of breaking and entering?❞
❝ oh yeah? that's my present? who's the one with mammoth ego now huh, huh? ---- only a smile and a bow? i'm down for that. that's a good present. ❞
( he matches the lame attempt at hitting on her with an unabashed lopsided grin, his hands shoving themselves into his pockets while his walk develops just marginally more swagger to it. )
❝ god, the only person i know to laugh at their own lame jokes is billy. billy. dorky, comic book billy who has stars sewn into his spandex. your cool points have hit the negative zones, beware katie or you'll end up a massive loser.
then you'll just be too uncool for me to hang with. ❞
( he carefully avoids tripping over a stone by slowing to a stop the minute the words leave her lips and it's a blessing that his hair's shaggy enough to cover the tips of his reddening ears -- goddammit kate bishop. you and your accidentally suggestive words -- before the grin returns, teeth and all. )
❝ oh so THAT'S how i impress you huh? you city girls don't waver.
and woah hey, i heard you're a superhero, why would i tell you about my crime? it just so happens that i happen to be one too so it'd be totally immoral--- unless you're into that then yeah, i've had my fair share of living precariously on the edge. ❞
“i was in a relationship with clint barton for a good three years. make an educated guess.”
❝ really? that's tragic, i'm sorry for the insinuation that i was going to use your name in a pun. i mourn for that lost period in your life. ❞
buttface;
❝oh hardy-har-har, kaplan. really. you friggin’ outdid yourself this time. i get it! i get it. it was because of the thing i said about twins, right? 'can't live with 'em, should’ve eaten them in the womb when i had the chance’? fine. you got me or whatever. now poof the hell out of my handsome visage and we’ll call it slightly even.❞
❝ wait-- seriously? that's the card you're gonna play? call me out to be you? jeez lil' bro you'd think spending several months with me would teach you to up your a-game but what d'you know.
you still have a world of things you need to learn. kind of lame, considering you can manipulate matter... and -- okay seriously.
shed the spandex, get back into your hipster galaxy leggings. green isn't your color. it's mine. ❞
DANGER: DO NOT PROVOKE;
▓░▌━━ ≼☆≽ ░▓▌
❝ like i’d EVER believe anything that came outta your mouth. now… i’m gonna break more than your heart. ❞ she snapped, fingers catching at his collar & lurching him toward her roughly.
❝ okay can i just say -- you never believe anything i say, like, anyway? but hey you know--- ❞
( he lurches sharply and makes a narrow escape, reappearing in a flash behind her )
❝ since i didn't do this i could help you find who did and you could totally not hate my guts or want to punch me.
win win for everyone. right? right? ❞
DANGER; DO NOT PROVOKE;
▓░▌━━ ≼☆≽ ░▓▌
❝ you’re the only one STUPID enough to pull something like this. — come here, NOW. if i have to CHASE you, it’ll only make it worse. ❞
❝ ouch right in my achy breaky heart, harsh. if i really wanted to do it i would've made it the colors of the american flag, at least i'd get an A for results!!
-- and i really don't mean to stoke the fire but i am the fastest man on the planet so chasing me isn't too much of a threat but look! i surrender. here's the peace treaty, please sign with anything but a clenched fist. ❞
ϟ tobetray
❝ yeah sorry if i'm not up to... speed here, but aren't you like, the evil norse god in stories meant to scare children from turning into the malicious asshole you are? don't you have villaining to get to so i can kick your sorry ass back to what's-it-in-the-clouds, ❞
ϟ morseisms
❝ with a name like morse how many mystery morse code jokes get made about you? purely scientific research, ❞
ϟ missamcrica
❝ i swear i had nothing to do with the hair dye in your shampoo thing. i am not some b-grade prankster i have better standards and ---- this wasn't me !! ❞