Mauve

Get it? Haikaveh, Hiikaveh? No? Okay (picture me walking away in shame). SO4 blueprint, 🫐🎬

[hiikaveh]

⋮ ★ Bleeding paint, a shattered heart

⌗⠀Mauve , they / it

⌗⠀sideblog of a Kaveh introject. (My plurality means I might not be active all the time due to other headmates fronting) My current fixations are the radqueer community (I am anti-radqueer, my focus is on why they act the way they do), genshin impact, and architecture. Unfortunately the archetypical tortured artist trope.

⌗⠀E4 (so/sx) — 479 — ISFP — EVFL — SEI (I think..)

★⠀┈⠀byi + dni⠀⸝⠀.

⌗⠀byi: I post a lot about the radqueer community and my frustrations with them. I would prefer to not get involved into other discourse (I do have opinions on it, but it’s not the focus of this account). I may interact with radqueers, and I do so civilly, even if I disagree. I have a paraphilic disorder, and I may talk about this in some of my posts.

⌗⠀I understand that dni lists don’t work, but I have a block button and I use it liberally. Radqueers may interact, as long as you do so in a civil manner. I am open to answering any questions anybody may have about myself, my system, or even just to chat!

★⠀┈⠀likes & dislikes⠀⸝⠀.

⌗⠀As I said before, I’m interested in architecture and researching the radqueer community, but I also enjoy hannibal and gravity falls.

⌗⠀I don’t like sexual things being said to me.

★⠀┈⠀tags⠀⸝⠀.

☆ ⋮ sculpting dreams out of clay ﹢ — reblogs

☆ ⋮ the echoing voices ﹢ — anons

☆ ⋮ the architect lives on inside ﹢ — original posts / replies

posts from another alter — somebody other than Mauve is fronting and using this account. It’s most likely Dottore, as his interests also lie in picking apart the radqueer community.

Userbox / blinkie / stamp collection below! (Anti rq flag stamps made by me)

[hiikaveh]

Does anybody have any actual medical sources on “atypical dysphoria” the way radqueers define it? I looked it up and the first few things I got were pluralpedia and the lgbt wiki T-T

[exradqueer-uni]

Unfortunately this topic is severely understudied and underdiscussed, but I'd recommend starting with BIID (body integrity identity disorder). Theres also a small study about transracial dysphoria somewhere, which you could probably find on one of the transrace subreddits. Might be worth looking into Rachael Dolezal, too?

[hiikaveh]

Thank you very much!

[exradqueer-uni]

I'm home now so I can share actual links!!

This is the study I was talking about, however it is not a very good one. Somebody else smarter than me has already pointed out that it conflates race, ethnicity and nationality. Take it with a grain of salt.

I also found a theory paper about transracialism in the context of transgender identities. I haven't read this yet, so I can't comment on it.

Here's another paper that discusses the results of a questionnaire done by <300 participants identifying as transracial. Again, haven't read this yet, so no comment.

[hiikaveh]

I saw that last one before actually! Honestly I would love to see more studies done on different aspects of the community especially on its effects on people.

[exradqueer-uni]

I'm very tired of this narrative antis like to push, where radqueers below the age of 18 are all poor wittle babies incapable of doing anything wrong & adult radqs are grown ass adults running an organized cult.

Adult radqueers, especially teens, are not immune to being groomed, abused and exploited by the community because they're the age of majority. They are not suddenly super mature beings who know better than people a couple years younger than them.

A step further, abusers in the community do not immediately lose their victim status because of their horrible actions. It is very very important to understand that a lot of adults who joined the community as minors are stuck in the cycle of abuse.

[hiikaveh]

Ur perception on thr rq community is just,, wrong, i dont know how else to put it.

- an ex anti

Would you like to elaborate? I would love to hear your perspective, even if you and I disagree and probably won’t agree. I’m coming from the perspective of a person who was in the community for a year. I’d love to hear what made you change your mind, if you’re willing to hear what changed mine. :D

[hiikaveh]

Does anybody have any actual medical sources on “atypical dysphoria” the way radqueers define it? I looked it up and the first few things I got were pluralpedia and the lgbt wiki T-T

[exradqueer-uni]

Unfortunately this topic is severely understudied and underdiscussed, but I'd recommend starting with BIID (body integrity identity disorder). Theres also a small study about transracial dysphoria somewhere, which you could probably find on one of the transrace subreddits. Might be worth looking into Rachael Dolezal, too?

[hiikaveh]

Thank you very much!

[hiikaveh]

Does anybody have any actual medical sources on “atypical dysphoria” the way radqueers define it? I looked it up and the first few things I got were pluralpedia and the lgbt wiki T-T

[wowfunfun]

I don't believe "harmless Trans-IDs" are a thing.

The "trans" prefix doesn't mean "wishes they were (x)", that is how transphobes define being trans. If you think you are "Trans-age" or "Trans-capybara" or whatever else, you are not actually a different age or a capybara, you just think you wish you were those things, or feel you should be. Transgender people are the gender they claim to be, they don't "wish" they were another gender, they are that gender.

The entire concept, even putting aside the weird bigoted stuff with "Trans-IDs" about disability, ethnicity etc, is just bigoted regardless. Using "Trans-" to mean "wishes they were but aren't really" or "believes they should be" is transphobic. End of.

[decorabnuy]

HI @pandurso made me come back here to post my art🧍‍♂️so. yeah i am now the friend that is insanely hyperfixated in typology YAY !!! i've seen @matrixxe101 's enneagram designs on tiktok and my interest in typology came back so hard <3

now the reason i am here posting again it's because i made my own design of my tritype!! yay :D mine is 947, also known as The Gentle Spirit. I mixed Matrix's designs and made up some things during the process, and i'm satisfied with my design in the end!!

made them match the same vibe as their "title" of gentle spirit, and also made the so9 as the "base" per se since i'm a so9, so4 is my core and sx7 is the other enneagram left in my tritype. some things might be confusing here but idc, i had fun and that's what matters i love this guy !! <3

also here are the original designs made by Matrix so you all know my inspos and ofc, to give credit and shoutout them cuz their work is genuinely amazing and full of talent !!

[i-fucking-hate-radqueers]

I feel like radqueers are a collective of queer fascists and groomers and toxic people who lure in vulnerable people into thinking that it's ok actually to want to suffer through trauma and it's ok to be racist and it's ok to idolize Nazis and it's ok to want to be a different race without thinking about these thoughts critically.

This is probably the best wording for this opinion that I've seen. You are 100000% correct. The only unfortunate part is often trauma survivors do feel like they deserve "worse" or "more" trauma, but even that is included in the grooming part. It's all just fucking grooming and toxic "inclusivity"

[ev1lgoob]

radqueers aren’t inclusive.

they’ll mock the abuse you went through just because you don’t want them around.

argue all you want about “safe spaces”, but its just an excuse to masturbate to kids. :/

and no, i wont be debating anyone on this topic. im pissed, i wont even be able to calmly argue.

[thirdhornicorn]

Genuinely hate the radqueer community they'll see a depressed person asking "how do i get in a wheelchair/become disabled to recieve attention so that I can finally feel loved" And they'll respond with actual "tips" 🥀🥀

“Yeah, this person is obviously not doing well mentally ndnis asking for tips on how to do this harmful thing……buuuut I’m just gonna give them advice on how to do that harmful thing. Mental health matters, yo!”

[hiikaveh]

Whats really sad is that a lot of this is just indicative of how people are resorting to trying to seriously injure themselves just to be seen and understood.

[hiikaveh]

oversharing abt frustrations with the radqueer community and the anti radqueer community below

its really difficult being both a paraphilie and anti radqueer. the word i would use is lonely, tbh. the radqueer community requires you to get rid of your morals and common sense, as well as act like you genuinely believe things that arent true, while most anti radqueers will spread hateful statements about people with paraphilic disorders. im too much for anti radqueers but im not enough for radqueers. and online pro para spaces just make it worse. outside of my autobiastophilia i have a phobia of intimacy and sexual content, most of which was caused by previois experiences with radqueers a few years ago. so im kind of forced to cut myself off from almost all pro para communities for my own safety. i dont know if im the only one whos like this. its very isolating.

[hiikaveh]

I know I talk about the radqueer community like a bunch of ants in a farm that I poke at but it seriously fucked both me and most of my alters up

tw for mentions of sexual trauma in general

I’d also add that radqueers destroyed a lot of my options for exploring sexuality safely. My experiences within radqueer spaces when I identified as one caused me to develop that fear of intimacy and sex, which means any chances of exploring my autobiastophilia consensually through kink practices is just kind of.. gone. or at least extremely difficult.

Even transid wise, I felt like my entire life and all those “identities” were a performance to try and get this one part of me accepted. ive always valued individuality but i feel like a fraud for doing so.

honeslty i shouldnt even be complaining i didnt get the worst of it, most of my alters were the ones who were seriously affected by it. but i was the one who initially went into those spaces. i cant help but feel responsible for all of it.

[hiikaveh]

thats probably enough oversharing for today i can hardly sleep as it is and just getting that out made me cry a little okay back to my corner

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

I am genuinel`/ convinced that if transID was discovered/founded sooner or before transgender people were common knowledge, transgender/transsex would definitel`/ be considered a 'harmful' transID b`/ antis because trans women would be seen as 'invading' cis womens spaces (like transpoc are 'invading' cispoc spaces/transdisabled are 'invading' cisdisabled spaces) or trans men are just 'women evading oppression' (like transwhites are 'poc evading racism'/nulldisabled are 'disabled people evading ableism')

but in that world transhaircolor/transbloodt`/pe/transoccupation would def be accepted

I genuinel`/ don't see it and antis alwa`/s ask 'don't compare it to transphobia' but it literall`/ is, anti-transID is literall`/ transphobia too 'transphobia' is just applied more to a specific transID (Transgender, which IS a transID)

transPOC are POC the same wa`/ trans women are women, the`/ aren't invading POC/womens spaces just because those spaces inherentl`/ include them

I know transwomen/transmen is supposed to be a dogwhistle for transphobes to see them as 'third genders' but I don't see wh`/ the radq communit`/ doesn't use those if the`/ don't have spaces between transID terms, I use like TransWhite/TransAGAB/TransMilitar`/, so it makes sense if I use TransMan/TransWoman because,, that's just how we format the labels, we don't see (or I HOPE we don't see) transwhites as a 'different' race than ciswhites so

I gotta go pla`/ minecraft nvm `/ou don't get to see the rest of m`/ rant

[slashyuri]

the concept of radqueers being the same as transgender people

[hiikaveh]

I think the difference that radqueers don’t notice is that we have monuments of scientific evidence about gender identity and transgender people in specifics. We don’t have this evidence for transid claims. Gender is based in an internal sense of self, and the science shows that. I also feel like radqueers tend to use trans people as shields, like “oh you can’t be against us [harmful group with no scientific backing] then you hate [harmless group with scientific backing]!”

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

,,do `/ou wanna do scientific research on us then??

We have one paper on us but like `/ou gotta first assume we're telling the truth of our identit`/ to get to that point

I'd gladl`/ tell `/ou gu`/s about m`/ transIDs and how I've come to the conclusion I am/how I developed it/how passing as it makes me feel more euphoric but dude `/ou can't come in brushing it off

also as said, e being TransF1Fan (Literall`/ wanting to/feeling like I should be an F1 fan) even b`/ `/our gu`/s's standards isn't harmful

[hiikaveh]

This is cool, unfortunately it’s not what I’m looking for. Self reporting is very unreliable, and it’s more just a “this is a community that exists, and people want to change their race”. I’m talking about neurological studies and brain scans. For each major form of transid.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

DO YOU WANNA DO RESEARCH ON US THEN??

Genuinely at most we're "maybe it exists maybe not but people still feel this way regardless" like even if transabled/BIID people aren't neurologically different than people without it some of those mfers still transition in harmful ways and break down due to dysphoria around it

Unless there's proof saying I don't exist and don't experience these things its just maybe I do maybe I don't and I'm CERTAIN I do

[hiikaveh]

I would love to be able to hold neurological studies, unfortunately I have neither the funding nor the medical knowledge.

I can totally understand your philosophy but I’ve always been a skeptic lol. I prefer to default to skepticism when there isn’t proper proof one way or another. I certainly think you believe that you have these experiences, don’t get me wrong.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

Look, I've been in my own life far longer than you'll ever be, trust me when I say I know what and who I am.

I am willing to describe each and every experience I have in DMs if you're hellbent on saying I'm prob not transID but instead what? Just really dedicated to faking?? Just really into liking death threats irl and online from antis?? REALLY into faking my race and disorders to a crowd of people who I have no doubt would doxx and spread abuse material of me because antis have done that in the past???

Genuinely what benefit do I have to present this way if I don't fully ID this way?

[hiikaveh]

You are making a lot of assumptions around things that I didn’t really say. I don’t think this conversation is going anywhere. While I do have my theories on why people might choose to have transids and whether or not that disconnect will go away, it seems best for me to keep them to myself.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

I'm genuinel`/ curious, what reason do I have other than trul`/ IDing as Russian/Japanese/Black do I have to risk death threats/doxxing/abuse material being spread of me for openl`/ being radq and transID?

Because I can't find an`/ and even though `/ou sa`/ `/ou have `/our own theories, I don't believe the`/'d appl`/ to me or other radqs, and if `/ou never share it `/ou're not gonna get people who actuall`/ ID with it tell `/ou otherwise or tell `/ou how the`/ actuall`/ do ID and wh`/

[hiikaveh]

I have theories on why certain groups of radqueers identify as such, but I’m not the type of person to claim to know why any individual does anything unless theres been extensive studying on that person. Which is why, as i’ve said, I’d love to be able to hold neurological testing on self proclaimed transid people.

My focus is not on individual radqueers but on why the group acts the way it does.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

$10 bet it's gonna be some "a lot of transwhite people wanna escape racism" / categorizing transID people based off their natIDs instead of treating them as their own IDs

I don't believe an anti can have an`/ accurate predictions on what the group the`/'re anti- is about/how the`/ identif`/ and I feel like I can see that in `/ou based off the language `/ou use that I perceive to be dismissive

I don't believe `/ou would've supported transgender people before an`/ research on them came out because of this, m`/ og post was about if there was no research on transgender/transsex people but there was research on transoccupation/transbloodt`/pe then antis wouldn't support transgender people

just because there's no research doesn't mean a group doesn't exist, if it worked that wa`/ then what would there be to research as the group doesn't exist apparentl`/

[hiikaveh]

My main interest is in transabled and transharmed people, honestly. I don’t feel I have the right to poke into transrace as I’m not a POC.

I am transgender, if thats relevant.

I also feel like you’re interpreting a lot of the things I’m saying in bad faith. I’m going to cut it off here because of this. I hope you have a good day!

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

of course I'm seeing it in bad faith, `/ou're against the entire wa`/ I identif`/? I don't have an obligation to treat someone who doesn't seem to believe I experience what I know I do with respect even if the`/ feign it for me? `/ou directl`/ said `/ou just believe I THINK I know what I'm experiencing, what other wa`/ should I take that besides `/ou not believing m`/ own lived experiences? I've onl`/ heard that in a dismissive wa`/ in order to minimize mine, almost alwa`/s followed b`/ "ma`/be it's this thing that is completel`/ fucking different? Ma`/be `/ou're just imagining things?" I don't think it's disrespectful to be cautious of that phrasing, apologies if I misinterpret `/our intentions but `/ou have to understand it can be interpreted as highl`/ disrespectful to some even if that's not the intention

I offered to tell `/ou m`/ own experiences in hopes that'd change `/our opinion or at least help `/ou understand, even if `/ou feel it's not `/our right to poke into trace (transrace is for adoptees) discussions I have other transIDs I will gladl`/ talk about not just that

[hiikaveh]

I’m having trouble reading your typing thing and I’m not really in the mood to talk rn. Have a good day man.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

translation;

of course I'm seeing it in bad faith, you're against the entire way I identify? I don't have an obligation to treat someone who doesn't seem to believe I experience what I know I do with respect even if they feign it for me? you directly said you just believe I THINK I know what I'm experiencing, what other way should I take that besides you not believing my own lived experiences? I've only heard that in a dismissive way in order to minimize mine, almost always followed by "maybe it's this thing that is completely fucking different? Maybe you're just imagining things?"

I don't think it's disrespectful to be cautious of that phrasing, apologies if I misinterpret your intentions but you have to understand it can be interpreted as highly disrespectful to some even if that's not the intention

I offered to tell you my own experiences in hopes that'd change your opinion or at least help you understand, even if you feel it's not your right to poke into trace (transrace is for adoptees) discussions I have other transIDs I will gladly talk about not just that

end of translation

Return whenever you're in the mood to reply, or don't, idrc

[hiikaveh]

I probably wont, this conversation is a net negative for both of us. Have a good day again.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

It's not a negative for me, it was fun even if you seemed to brush off a lot of actually talking about it more in depth with me :p

Just don't use my typing impediment as a reason to leave the convo you can just be honest that you don't want to continue it

[hiikaveh]

I don’t like talking to individual radqueers unless I’m in a specific mood. I’ve always been more focused on the broad actions of the community, as getting down to individual radqueers level beyond surface conversations brings up bad memories from when I was in the community.

That’s why I’d love to do neurological studies, it would just be data that I can look through and find interesting.

May I ask why you call it a typing “impediment”? Do you view it as uncontrollable or somehow akin to a speech impediment?

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

There, you could've just said that

And yes is is semi-uncontrollable and whenever told to translate I have to move devices, or find a y and replace them all, the translation sucked if you actually didn't need one so please don't lie about needing one

My Y kwy on laptop is broken so when using It I use `/, I can translate via searching for someone using the letter Y but it takes a while (I used to have a lisp so I see copy pasting a y instead as the same as when I was told to just replace all S sounds with Z sounds, its easier to understand but unnatural to me to do and doesn't ""fix"" it or make it look like I don't have an impediment)

[hiikaveh]

Interesting. I can kind of see the analogy. Thanks for the conversation. Have a good day.

[hiikaveh]

oversharing abt frustrations with the radqueer community and the anti radqueer community below

its really difficult being both a paraphilie and anti radqueer. the word i would use is lonely, tbh. the radqueer community requires you to get rid of your morals and common sense, as well as act like you genuinely believe things that arent true, while most anti radqueers will spread hateful statements about people with paraphilic disorders. im too much for anti radqueers but im not enough for radqueers. and online pro para spaces just make it worse. outside of my autobiastophilia i have a phobia of intimacy and sexual content, most of which was caused by previois experiences with radqueers a few years ago. so im kind of forced to cut myself off from almost all pro para communities for my own safety. i dont know if im the only one whos like this. its very isolating.

[hiikaveh]

I know I talk about the radqueer community like a bunch of ants in a farm that I poke at but it seriously fucked both me and most of my alters up

tw for mentions of sexual trauma in general

I’d also add that radqueers destroyed a lot of my options for exploring sexuality safely. My experiences within radqueer spaces when I identified as one caused me to develop that fear of intimacy and sex, which means any chances of exploring my autobiastophilia consensually through kink practices is just kind of.. gone. or at least extremely difficult.

Even transid wise, I felt like my entire life and all those “identities” were a performance to try and get this one part of me accepted. ive always valued individuality but i feel like a fraud for doing so.

honeslty i shouldnt even be complaining i didnt get the worst of it, most of my alters were the ones who were seriously affected by it. but i was the one who initially went into those spaces. i cant help but feel responsible for all of it.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

I am genuinel`/ convinced that if transID was discovered/founded sooner or before transgender people were common knowledge, transgender/transsex would definitel`/ be considered a 'harmful' transID b`/ antis because trans women would be seen as 'invading' cis womens spaces (like transpoc are 'invading' cispoc spaces/transdisabled are 'invading' cisdisabled spaces) or trans men are just 'women evading oppression' (like transwhites are 'poc evading racism'/nulldisabled are 'disabled people evading ableism')

but in that world transhaircolor/transbloodt`/pe/transoccupation would def be accepted

I genuinel`/ don't see it and antis alwa`/s ask 'don't compare it to transphobia' but it literall`/ is, anti-transID is literall`/ transphobia too 'transphobia' is just applied more to a specific transID (Transgender, which IS a transID)

transPOC are POC the same wa`/ trans women are women, the`/ aren't invading POC/womens spaces just because those spaces inherentl`/ include them

I know transwomen/transmen is supposed to be a dogwhistle for transphobes to see them as 'third genders' but I don't see wh`/ the radq communit`/ doesn't use those if the`/ don't have spaces between transID terms, I use like TransWhite/TransAGAB/TransMilitar`/, so it makes sense if I use TransMan/TransWoman because,, that's just how we format the labels, we don't see (or I HOPE we don't see) transwhites as a 'different' race than ciswhites so

I gotta go pla`/ minecraft nvm `/ou don't get to see the rest of m`/ rant

[slashyuri]

the concept of radqueers being the same as transgender people

[hiikaveh]

I think the difference that radqueers don’t notice is that we have monuments of scientific evidence about gender identity and transgender people in specifics. We don’t have this evidence for transid claims. Gender is based in an internal sense of self, and the science shows that. I also feel like radqueers tend to use trans people as shields, like “oh you can’t be against us [harmful group with no scientific backing] then you hate [harmless group with scientific backing]!”

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

,,do `/ou wanna do scientific research on us then??

We have one paper on us but like `/ou gotta first assume we're telling the truth of our identit`/ to get to that point

I'd gladl`/ tell `/ou gu`/s about m`/ transIDs and how I've come to the conclusion I am/how I developed it/how passing as it makes me feel more euphoric but dude `/ou can't come in brushing it off

also as said, e being TransF1Fan (Literall`/ wanting to/feeling like I should be an F1 fan) even b`/ `/our gu`/s's standards isn't harmful

[hiikaveh]

This is cool, unfortunately it’s not what I’m looking for. Self reporting is very unreliable, and it’s more just a “this is a community that exists, and people want to change their race”. I’m talking about neurological studies and brain scans. For each major form of transid.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

DO YOU WANNA DO RESEARCH ON US THEN??

Genuinely at most we're "maybe it exists maybe not but people still feel this way regardless" like even if transabled/BIID people aren't neurologically different than people without it some of those mfers still transition in harmful ways and break down due to dysphoria around it

Unless there's proof saying I don't exist and don't experience these things its just maybe I do maybe I don't and I'm CERTAIN I do

[hiikaveh]

I would love to be able to hold neurological studies, unfortunately I have neither the funding nor the medical knowledge.

I can totally understand your philosophy but I’ve always been a skeptic lol. I prefer to default to skepticism when there isn’t proper proof one way or another. I certainly think you believe that you have these experiences, don’t get me wrong.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

Look, I've been in my own life far longer than you'll ever be, trust me when I say I know what and who I am.

I am willing to describe each and every experience I have in DMs if you're hellbent on saying I'm prob not transID but instead what? Just really dedicated to faking?? Just really into liking death threats irl and online from antis?? REALLY into faking my race and disorders to a crowd of people who I have no doubt would doxx and spread abuse material of me because antis have done that in the past???

Genuinely what benefit do I have to present this way if I don't fully ID this way?

[hiikaveh]

You are making a lot of assumptions around things that I didn’t really say. I don’t think this conversation is going anywhere. While I do have my theories on why people might choose to have transids and whether or not that disconnect will go away, it seems best for me to keep them to myself.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

I'm genuinel`/ curious, what reason do I have other than trul`/ IDing as Russian/Japanese/Black do I have to risk death threats/doxxing/abuse material being spread of me for openl`/ being radq and transID?

Because I can't find an`/ and even though `/ou sa`/ `/ou have `/our own theories, I don't believe the`/'d appl`/ to me or other radqs, and if `/ou never share it `/ou're not gonna get people who actuall`/ ID with it tell `/ou otherwise or tell `/ou how the`/ actuall`/ do ID and wh`/

[hiikaveh]

I have theories on why certain groups of radqueers identify as such, but I’m not the type of person to claim to know why any individual does anything unless theres been extensive studying on that person. Which is why, as i’ve said, I’d love to be able to hold neurological testing on self proclaimed transid people.

My focus is not on individual radqueers but on why the group acts the way it does.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

$10 bet it's gonna be some "a lot of transwhite people wanna escape racism" / categorizing transID people based off their natIDs instead of treating them as their own IDs

I don't believe an anti can have an`/ accurate predictions on what the group the`/'re anti- is about/how the`/ identif`/ and I feel like I can see that in `/ou based off the language `/ou use that I perceive to be dismissive

I don't believe `/ou would've supported transgender people before an`/ research on them came out because of this, m`/ og post was about if there was no research on transgender/transsex people but there was research on transoccupation/transbloodt`/pe then antis wouldn't support transgender people

just because there's no research doesn't mean a group doesn't exist, if it worked that wa`/ then what would there be to research as the group doesn't exist apparentl`/

[hiikaveh]

My main interest is in transabled and transharmed people, honestly. I don’t feel I have the right to poke into transrace as I’m not a POC.

I am transgender, if thats relevant.

I also feel like you’re interpreting a lot of the things I’m saying in bad faith. I’m going to cut it off here because of this. I hope you have a good day!

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

of course I'm seeing it in bad faith, `/ou're against the entire wa`/ I identif`/? I don't have an obligation to treat someone who doesn't seem to believe I experience what I know I do with respect even if the`/ feign it for me? `/ou directl`/ said `/ou just believe I THINK I know what I'm experiencing, what other wa`/ should I take that besides `/ou not believing m`/ own lived experiences? I've onl`/ heard that in a dismissive wa`/ in order to minimize mine, almost alwa`/s followed b`/ "ma`/be it's this thing that is completel`/ fucking different? Ma`/be `/ou're just imagining things?" I don't think it's disrespectful to be cautious of that phrasing, apologies if I misinterpret `/our intentions but `/ou have to understand it can be interpreted as highl`/ disrespectful to some even if that's not the intention

I offered to tell `/ou m`/ own experiences in hopes that'd change `/our opinion or at least help `/ou understand, even if `/ou feel it's not `/our right to poke into trace (transrace is for adoptees) discussions I have other transIDs I will gladl`/ talk about not just that

[hiikaveh]

I’m having trouble reading your typing thing and I’m not really in the mood to talk rn. Have a good day man.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

translation;

of course I'm seeing it in bad faith, you're against the entire way I identify? I don't have an obligation to treat someone who doesn't seem to believe I experience what I know I do with respect even if they feign it for me? you directly said you just believe I THINK I know what I'm experiencing, what other way should I take that besides you not believing my own lived experiences? I've only heard that in a dismissive way in order to minimize mine, almost always followed by "maybe it's this thing that is completely fucking different? Maybe you're just imagining things?"

I don't think it's disrespectful to be cautious of that phrasing, apologies if I misinterpret your intentions but you have to understand it can be interpreted as highly disrespectful to some even if that's not the intention

I offered to tell you my own experiences in hopes that'd change your opinion or at least help you understand, even if you feel it's not your right to poke into trace (transrace is for adoptees) discussions I have other transIDs I will gladly talk about not just that

end of translation

Return whenever you're in the mood to reply, or don't, idrc

[hiikaveh]

I probably wont, this conversation is a net negative for both of us. Have a good day again.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

It's not a negative for me, it was fun even if you seemed to brush off a lot of actually talking about it more in depth with me :p

Just don't use my typing impediment as a reason to leave the convo you can just be honest that you don't want to continue it

[hiikaveh]

I don’t like talking to individual radqueers unless I’m in a specific mood. I’ve always been more focused on the broad actions of the community, as getting down to individual radqueers level beyond surface conversations brings up bad memories from when I was in the community.

That’s why I’d love to do neurological studies, it would just be data that I can look through and find interesting.

May I ask why you call it a typing “impediment”? Do you view it as uncontrollable or somehow akin to a speech impediment?

[hiikaveh]

oversharing abt frustrations with the radqueer community and the anti radqueer community below

its really difficult being both a paraphilie and anti radqueer. the word i would use is lonely, tbh. the radqueer community requires you to get rid of your morals and common sense, as well as act like you genuinely believe things that arent true, while most anti radqueers will spread hateful statements about people with paraphilic disorders. im too much for anti radqueers but im not enough for radqueers. and online pro para spaces just make it worse. outside of my autobiastophilia i have a phobia of intimacy and sexual content, most of which was caused by previois experiences with radqueers a few years ago. so im kind of forced to cut myself off from almost all pro para communities for my own safety. i dont know if im the only one whos like this. its very isolating.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

I am genuinel`/ convinced that if transID was discovered/founded sooner or before transgender people were common knowledge, transgender/transsex would definitel`/ be considered a 'harmful' transID b`/ antis because trans women would be seen as 'invading' cis womens spaces (like transpoc are 'invading' cispoc spaces/transdisabled are 'invading' cisdisabled spaces) or trans men are just 'women evading oppression' (like transwhites are 'poc evading racism'/nulldisabled are 'disabled people evading ableism')

but in that world transhaircolor/transbloodt`/pe/transoccupation would def be accepted

I genuinel`/ don't see it and antis alwa`/s ask 'don't compare it to transphobia' but it literall`/ is, anti-transID is literall`/ transphobia too 'transphobia' is just applied more to a specific transID (Transgender, which IS a transID)

transPOC are POC the same wa`/ trans women are women, the`/ aren't invading POC/womens spaces just because those spaces inherentl`/ include them

I know transwomen/transmen is supposed to be a dogwhistle for transphobes to see them as 'third genders' but I don't see wh`/ the radq communit`/ doesn't use those if the`/ don't have spaces between transID terms, I use like TransWhite/TransAGAB/TransMilitar`/, so it makes sense if I use TransMan/TransWoman because,, that's just how we format the labels, we don't see (or I HOPE we don't see) transwhites as a 'different' race than ciswhites so

I gotta go pla`/ minecraft nvm `/ou don't get to see the rest of m`/ rant

[slashyuri]

the concept of radqueers being the same as transgender people

[hiikaveh]

I think the difference that radqueers don’t notice is that we have monuments of scientific evidence about gender identity and transgender people in specifics. We don’t have this evidence for transid claims. Gender is based in an internal sense of self, and the science shows that. I also feel like radqueers tend to use trans people as shields, like “oh you can’t be against us [harmful group with no scientific backing] then you hate [harmless group with scientific backing]!”

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

,,do `/ou wanna do scientific research on us then??

We have one paper on us but like `/ou gotta first assume we're telling the truth of our identit`/ to get to that point

I'd gladl`/ tell `/ou gu`/s about m`/ transIDs and how I've come to the conclusion I am/how I developed it/how passing as it makes me feel more euphoric but dude `/ou can't come in brushing it off

also as said, e being TransF1Fan (Literall`/ wanting to/feeling like I should be an F1 fan) even b`/ `/our gu`/s's standards isn't harmful

[hiikaveh]

This is cool, unfortunately it’s not what I’m looking for. Self reporting is very unreliable, and it’s more just a “this is a community that exists, and people want to change their race”. I’m talking about neurological studies and brain scans. For each major form of transid.

Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

DO YOU WANNA DO RESEARCH ON US THEN??

Genuinely at most we're "maybe it exists maybe not but people still feel this way regardless" like even if transabled/BIID people aren't neurologically different than people without it some of those mfers still transition in harmful ways and break down due to dysphoria around it

Unless there's proof saying I don't exist and don't experience these things its just maybe I do maybe I don't and I'm CERTAIN I do

[hiikaveh]

I would love to be able to hold neurological studies, unfortunately I have neither the funding nor the medical knowledge.

I can totally understand your philosophy but I’ve always been a skeptic lol. I prefer to default to skepticism when there isn’t proper proof one way or another. I certainly think you believe that you have these experiences, don’t get me wrong.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

Look, I've been in my own life far longer than you'll ever be, trust me when I say I know what and who I am.

I am willing to describe each and every experience I have in DMs if you're hellbent on saying I'm prob not transID but instead what? Just really dedicated to faking?? Just really into liking death threats irl and online from antis?? REALLY into faking my race and disorders to a crowd of people who I have no doubt would doxx and spread abuse material of me because antis have done that in the past???

Genuinely what benefit do I have to present this way if I don't fully ID this way?

[hiikaveh]

You are making a lot of assumptions around things that I didn’t really say. I don’t think this conversation is going anywhere. While I do have my theories on why people might choose to have transids and whether or not that disconnect will go away, it seems best for me to keep them to myself.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

I'm genuinel`/ curious, what reason do I have other than trul`/ IDing as Russian/Japanese/Black do I have to risk death threats/doxxing/abuse material being spread of me for openl`/ being radq and transID?

Because I can't find an`/ and even though `/ou sa`/ `/ou have `/our own theories, I don't believe the`/'d appl`/ to me or other radqs, and if `/ou never share it `/ou're not gonna get people who actuall`/ ID with it tell `/ou otherwise or tell `/ou how the`/ actuall`/ do ID and wh`/

[hiikaveh]

I have theories on why certain groups of radqueers identify as such, but I’m not the type of person to claim to know why any individual does anything unless theres been extensive studying on that person. Which is why, as i’ve said, I’d love to be able to hold neurological testing on self proclaimed transid people.

My focus is not on individual radqueers but on why the group acts the way it does.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

$10 bet it's gonna be some "a lot of transwhite people wanna escape racism" / categorizing transID people based off their natIDs instead of treating them as their own IDs

I don't believe an anti can have an`/ accurate predictions on what the group the`/'re anti- is about/how the`/ identif`/ and I feel like I can see that in `/ou based off the language `/ou use that I perceive to be dismissive

I don't believe `/ou would've supported transgender people before an`/ research on them came out because of this, m`/ og post was about if there was no research on transgender/transsex people but there was research on transoccupation/transbloodt`/pe then antis wouldn't support transgender people

just because there's no research doesn't mean a group doesn't exist, if it worked that wa`/ then what would there be to research as the group doesn't exist apparentl`/

[hiikaveh]

My main interest is in transabled and transharmed people, honestly. I don’t feel I have the right to poke into transrace as I’m not a POC.

I am transgender, if thats relevant.

I also feel like you’re interpreting a lot of the things I’m saying in bad faith. I’m going to cut it off here because of this. I hope you have a good day!

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

of course I'm seeing it in bad faith, `/ou're against the entire wa`/ I identif`/? I don't have an obligation to treat someone who doesn't seem to believe I experience what I know I do with respect even if the`/ feign it for me? `/ou directl`/ said `/ou just believe I THINK I know what I'm experiencing, what other wa`/ should I take that besides `/ou not believing m`/ own lived experiences? I've onl`/ heard that in a dismissive wa`/ in order to minimize mine, almost alwa`/s followed b`/ "ma`/be it's this thing that is completel`/ fucking different? Ma`/be `/ou're just imagining things?" I don't think it's disrespectful to be cautious of that phrasing, apologies if I misinterpret `/our intentions but `/ou have to understand it can be interpreted as highl`/ disrespectful to some even if that's not the intention

I offered to tell `/ou m`/ own experiences in hopes that'd change `/our opinion or at least help `/ou understand, even if `/ou feel it's not `/our right to poke into trace (transrace is for adoptees) discussions I have other transIDs I will gladl`/ talk about not just that

[hiikaveh]

I’m having trouble reading your typing thing and I’m not really in the mood to talk rn. Have a good day man.

[russian-pieces-of-shit]

translation;

of course I'm seeing it in bad faith, you're against the entire way I identify? I don't have an obligation to treat someone who doesn't seem to believe I experience what I know I do with respect even if they feign it for me? you directly said you just believe I THINK I know what I'm experiencing, what other way should I take that besides you not believing my own lived experiences? I've only heard that in a dismissive way in order to minimize mine, almost always followed by "maybe it's this thing that is completely fucking different? Maybe you're just imagining things?"

I don't think it's disrespectful to be cautious of that phrasing, apologies if I misinterpret your intentions but you have to understand it can be interpreted as highly disrespectful to some even if that's not the intention

I offered to tell you my own experiences in hopes that'd change your opinion or at least help you understand, even if you feel it's not your right to poke into trace (transrace is for adoptees) discussions I have other transIDs I will gladly talk about not just that

end of translation

Return whenever you're in the mood to reply, or don't, idrc

[hiikaveh]

I probably wont, this conversation is a net negative for both of us. Have a good day again.