SENTENCE MEME ⟶ CRAZY EX-GIRLFRIEND / 1.05 –– 1.07
always feel free to tweak the sentence to fit your muse.
“How cute were we at summer camp?”
“I know it’s not cool to believe in god and stuff, but I do.”
“I haven’t really seen him since our date.”
“I’d ask how you are but I already know. You’re terrible.”
“Who just marches up to people and tells them they’re terrible?”
“You’re selfish and dramatic and weird.”
“I’m a good person. I’m a great person!”
“So I did something that wasn’t great.”
“I guess I messed up, but what I did wasn’t, like, Hitler level or anything.”
“So, clearly you’re still on this ‘I’m a good person’ thing.”
“He’s just a whiny little bitch.”
“He should be a search term on porn sites.”
“I care what he thinks because I care what me thinks and me wants to be a good person.”
“I’m in my own private hell.”
“You passive-aggressive, miserable piece of garbage.”
“There are two things going on in my brain right now. Two things is a lot for one brain.”
“You’re saying that one day, you want to marry them, have kidlings, and live, like, happily ever after?”
“She believes in me in a way that nobody else does.”
“God is personally inviting you to take stock of your life.”
“I have a weird tampon thing happening.”
“My whole life was a lie, but I’ll get used to that.”
“All I ask if for your forgiveness and you won’t even give it to me.”
“Please just forgive me, because I’m imperfect.”
“So, you went to the mall and saw a sexy mannequin?”
“I guess I just realized that family is important.”
“You are an actual piece of garbage.”
“You’re a good friend. I mean, definitely not to me, but to people who aren’t me.”
“He smokes and drinks and literally eats lard.”
“I just want some private time so I can lick all these plates clean.”
“I said a lot of regrettable things yesterday, and I wanted you to know I’m sorry.”
“What happened? Did she kill him?”
“My butthole is the gateway to hell.”
“I brought tacos and tequila.”
“I gotta warn you, I’m not good company.”
“My marriage is like The Walking Dead. We’re all just trying to make it out alive.”
“The eagle and the bitch have landed.”
“I’m just trying to snap you back to reality.”
“I don’t want to feel this way. I reject this feeling.”
“I rubbed a magazine on myself this morning.”
“I can’t smell like vodka. Vodka doesn’t smell.”
“It’s important to deal with one’s feelings head-on, because repressed feelings lead to depression.”
“The French really know how to make depression look sexy.”
“You bought the wrong sage. This is the kind that goes in food, not the kind that scares ghosts away.”
“I was numb as they come.”
“Do I really need to tell you not to take a pill you found on the bathroom floor next to the toilet?”
“I’m so relaxed, I could just melt into a chair like a butter lady.”
“The nicest thing I ever did for a girl was pull out.”
“I bet her vacuum cleaner is filled with cool pharmaceuticals.”
“I’m gonna take a nap here for just a year.”
“I’ve never been in a hotel room with a couch before.”
“I’ve spent my whole life numbing myself.”
“I have spent my life escaping to far-off places and I literally this second realized I can’t do that.”
“Everyone should feel their feelings.”
“There’s plenty of room to slip and slide around in our socks.”
“You guys make a really cute couple.”
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