I tend to not go into series looking for ships, and let them find me. So when I decided to finally read thru Bleach, a series I mostly remember from the old Shonen Jumps I got as a kid, I was not expecting Ulquihime to hit me like an isekai 18-wheeler. And not for any Beauty and the Beast or Doomed Romance stuff (tho I'm not opposed to them), it's bc I think that after the Arrancar arc it'd be very funny.
The way I picture them is basically Way of the Househusband, a manga about a man whose entire life has made him someone with very poor social skills, whose demeanor instantly makes most people afraid of him. But really he's just a dude who really really loves his wife and is, somehow, making it all work (despite the many shenanigans that occur).
But really I just think that Orihime, a character whose main feature is getting her feelings ignored and being underestimated, should get to have an incredibly powerful significant other who is 100% willing to be put on a leash as they do their errands so she can feel In Control for once. She has to say to almost everyone that no, it's not a kink thing.
Also, bc I don't wanna make multiple posts, an idea: Orihime makes a big dinner for everyone and it's her usual "good lord what even is that" meal. They're all just staring at their plates and Ulquiorra takes the first bite. He rolls it around his mouth, swallows, silently puts his fork down, and leaves the room. They all listen for the sounds of vomiting, but he comes back with a bottle of mustard. Not a single ingredient in the dish goes well with mustard. He puts a tiny amount on it, and repeats what he did last time, but now after moving it around his mouth he simply nods and douses the whole fuckin thing in mustard. Orihime makes grabby hands at the bottle and once she gets it she does the same test bite, enthusiastically nodding and giving a thumbs up to Ulquiorra.
Everyone else at the table realizes that the gates of Food Hell have been opened in front of their eyes. Soon, the collaboration between these Culinary Demons will produce meals that could feasibly kill an average man. A silent vow is made to not accept any homecooked food from either of them unless it's something that could only be made by exactly following the recipe, or if they were supervised/assisted in making it.
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