Every Night
I fall asleep with the ghosts of every drink I ever swallowed or every cigarette I ever smoked and every love I ever lost
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@himynameisntben
Every Night
I fall asleep with the ghosts of every drink I ever swallowed or every cigarette I ever smoked and every love I ever lost
I see you in people who are a little too far away for my myopic eyes, and when they get closer you disappear, a stranger takes your place, and I feel alone again. I tell myself not to hope not to feel not to drink not to smoke not to indulge not to weaken and not to hurt but I never listen. You know that.
Four Weeks
Your absence has made me start talking to God in the middle of the night. I reread your letter almost every day, still unsure of who was wrong. You left me alone after I trusted you not to. I needed you to be on my side when I was fighting my demons. And I don't know how, but I forgave you for leaving, for making me fight all alone. I'm much stronger than you.
I'm loved right now but I could be forgotten, or at most, a painful memory, in just a few years' time
your world and my world
On The Road
I'm on my way to fully realizing that I deserve love and happiness. It's not necessary for you to join me now, but it'd sure be nice if you did. I don't have time to wait for you. Come now, if you are, for I must be going. The car is running, my sweetheart.
everybody else is falling in love,
   so why can’t we?
You made me start writing again How dare you Why would you do that to me
I put the plant you gave me on a window sill in my living room so I could watch it die day by day
I've written a love song For each night I've spent alone And for each time I drove past your home
Do you remember that picture of us, the one where we look ...happy? It sat on my desk. I would look at it each day. It now sits face down because that is how you left us.
Unhappiness Drinking alone Falling asleep on the couch Letting things get away from me Eleven in the morning Wilting houseplants Where is the dog? Broken picture frames I made myself vulnerable Last night I won’t let you in again But I will Damn.
I’m not sure about me I forget things that everyone knows I don’t know what to do And I expect too much, I guess
I’m not too sure about us I don’t feel important to you Though you are a priority And I expect too much, I guess
You don’t have to say the right thing Just don’t say the wrong thing Please.
You fell asleep. I can’t.
I’m awake with all my demons again.
Hello, all. Would any else care for a drink? Just me?
Burden
I can’t share my happiness with you because I don’t have any myself. I can’t buy you things because I don’t have a job and still need to eat. I’m living for you because I want to die for anything else. Right now it’s all about me and what I can’t be But it should be about you and all you can do. I guess I’m telling you to leave. You could be happy out there without me.
light breaks off where you opened the sky in my chest
Both my hands, right and left, and palms especially, are bruised and scratched from falling down so often.
To remedy this, I have decided to stop bracing myself for the impact.