$LAYYYTER
AnasAbdin
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blake kathryn
@theartofmadeline
Claire Keane
we're not kids anymore.
d e v o n
Mike Driver
Keni
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Kaledo Art
todays bird
No title available
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
pixel skylines
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
seen from United States
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seen from Ireland
seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
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@hintoflimetostitos
last Saturday
Hand me down couch,
stale air.
Cyclic situations of fear.
Competing voices raising their decibel in a race to the finish line.
Rose colored glasses shattered on the floor next to an empty beer can.
Helpless eyes find no comfort in this room
[I can't finish this now but I'll be okay]
Forbidden Fruit
You told me you didn't like fruit,
That no variety of the natural sweetness satisfied your palette.
Yet I held your head in my hands and watched as you devoured a ripened pomegranate.
Once again, you did not appreciate the sweetness,
you tore open the red peel and spit out the seeds.
In the wake of your feast no flesh was left,
but I cannot seem to get the tainted stain out of my sheets.
2/25/24
Every full moon I soak in through sparkly eyelids seems to glow larger and a bit closer.
Early this morning it sat low in the pink awakening sky, and I swear if I reached with all my might I could grab my own sliver.
Crisp February air sharpened the detailed craters.
But my spine was pulled closer to the earth from the weight of the previous hours.
As the sky faded from the black of night to soft blue imitating the hue of the LED lights lining the room time slipped through.
1/23/24 It's no longer September.
January air stings my nose.
I wake up still aching of the previous day, it's hard to ignore the weight of my own legs.
And yet it is 11:55 pm, I lie in the bed I have been longing for since my feet hit the floor. My brain preventing me from rest.
He said to text him when I got home, it'd seemed naturally to roll off his lips.
We dance around our feelings too impractical for this situation. Breathes intertwined in soft kisses and easy conversation where I let myself feel safe in it.
There must be a universe where it is real (but that cannot be this one.)
It's finals week,
I took an Adderall in the morning to quiet my brain enough to do homework.
Around lunch time I called my mom [after my best friend and brother didn't answer].
I needed someone to talk about nothing with.
She stayed on the phone for an hour and a half.
I slipped her crumbs of what my life looks like in college.
Just enough to keep her from wondering but not enough to disappoint her.
She asked me when I went to church last like she always does [she knows I don't go anymore, I don't feel comfortable in a pew].
I talk to her about the things I don't want to bore my friends with [my class project, the leg warmers I knitted, what I had for lunch, how therapy was].
She responds with only excitement [unless I mention boys, or the bars I will go to this weekend].
She talks about the upcoming funeral for my grandpa, where she's been going for work, how little she's slept.
I see her in myself, yet I feel so disconnected.
I am my mothers daughter, I love it as much as I fear it.
Clenched Fist
I hold on to everything with a clenched fist.
No, I cannot let go; it will have to disintegrate first.
In my purse you can find faded receipts and parking slips from memories I am fond of.
My journal is littered with sketches of objects and people I refuse to forget.
As I carry on and make new memories, I am afraid of the past becoming blurry, so I squeeze my fist even tighter.
My camera roll contains 10s of 1000s of pictures and videos.
I still cannot bring myself to delete the ones capturing your face when you still loved with me. There was a time when our lives were in almost complete unison, now I cannot even remember how your skin felt.
I hold onto the resentment heartbreak caused with a clenched fist, slowly I will feel my fingers begin to uncurl and you will be sprinkled behind me as I carry on.
My other fist contains the girl I used to be, in all her forms.
The first day of a new month hits me like a truck when I realize how fast time is passing. I think back on what I said where I went and what I did the previous months.
That leads my mind to wander back to a year ago and who I was, what I thought and what I was wearing.
I curl my fingers tighter and bring my fist to my heart. I will not let go of who I was.
Yet I need one hand open to reach for the future.
Daylight Savings hangxiety
it is 9:34 on November 5th,
I am too awake, it is 9:35. But that extra hour of sleep did me wonders!
Although I am still unsure if I was actually asleep when 2am became 2am again. [Nothing good happens at 2am]
My house was crowded last night, and this morning it feels like a graveyard. [I glance to my couch adorned with abandoned blankets and the coffee table holds us two wine glasses, one empty one half-full.]
I am overanalyzing every word I said in conversations last night [I wish I could remember them well enough to rewatch this morning.]
I remember yelling at someone I never thought I was capable of yelling at. [But it felt good to, like that was as intimate as we will ever get.]
Anyway, I can't think about this anymore right now.
unsent message 1
dear _____ ,
this is your warning (although by now you already know) i am a hot mess. i’m sorry i bring you down with me, i wish my actions didn’t affect you.
i know you care, but i’m not in a place to accept that. i just need exceptance of where i am right now. i know i don’t always make the best choices, but right now i’m just trying to get by.
i’m sorry if i hurt you, i don’t want to.
sincerely,
the girl who will apologize but not change