This is for my sins only, but you are welcome to peruse, and even stay, if you'd like. Otherwise, don't mind me. Jason Todd is my babygirl, DickJay shipper too, so know what you'll find if you stay. (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡ Abraxax's the name
Established relationship Dickjay where dick gets a bit emotional because he’s thinking that one of the reason he could get together with jason was exactly because he wasn’t really there during jaybin days so he never really saw jason like a brother in the first place.
But he would totally give up this relationship in a heartbeat if it meant he could rewind the time and be an actual brother for jason. To be there when the world felt too big for the 14 year old and helped keep the cute, optimistic, and happy jason alive.
Jason notices dick getting a little somber and dick told him his thoughts. Jason’s heart did a clench before he scoffed, telling dick that he’s still dick’s little brother. Especially in bed when dick would cum the hardest everytime jason calls him big bro. Dick screams in embarrassment.
Dick and Jason developing a working relationship and mending the mass of grief and hurt between them, spending time together just the two of them. Dick's heart swelling, ease and openness returning to him with every moment of Jason's dimpled smile and melodious laugh. He's soaking up Jason's physical and emotional affection as much as Jason is practically kitten-faced and puppy-like for his.
Then, Jason finds out, perhaps through Tim about how it was Dick, not Tim that allowed the Titans to badmouth Jason in the first place. That let hatred for Jason brew. Jason tries to brush it off and move past it, Dick has already apologized for those things! Sure, Jason isn't exactly invited when Dick goes out with his friends and Dick doesn't really talk about how they speak about Jason, but healing takes time and Jason's more than happy to spend more time with just Dick.
Then Jason finds out that Dick wished he had died. What went down in New York was a mess, Jason capitalizing on Dick's already smeared reputation. But dead? Jason doesn't really believe it almost. Dick was furious and perhaps violently apathetic to Jason but dead? No, Dick would never want Jason dead.
But Jason sits with the thought. Even now, Dick has never said he's happy Jason is alive. Never said he's happy Jason's back at all. He never wants to talk about or do any of the interests Jason had as a child, and he says its in the name of "getting to know who you are now" but whats wrong with Jason still loving the same things and trying to find them again? Dick's never said he loves Jason, and maybe it hurts but hey, how often does he tell Tim or Cass or Damian he loves them? Jason is never invited when the four of them get together but he gets it. He does. He hardly knows Tim, Cass doesn't want to know him and Damian is a pensive, touchy case. They'd tolerate Jason if Dick would say something or ask it of them but he doesn't and its fine. It's fine.
The next time they are hanging out, in Dick's NYC apartment, getting ready to watch a movie Jason missed out on, Dick offhandedly mentions having already watched it with "his other siblings".
Dick's chest jolts, knowing he's made a mistake but also hoping Jason will just ignore or accept it.
Jason does ignore it. He asks Dick about the more important thing instead.
"Did you really wish I had died that day?"
Dick's heart drops into his stomach. No. How could he know that? He was never supposed to know that.
Dick's at a loss for an answer, because he never thought he'd need one.
"Where did you hear that?" Damn it. He should have worded that differently. Where did you get a crazy idea like that?
"So its true."
Dick's skin is starting to break into cold sweat. He hates that Jason doesn't sound angry. He opens his mouth. He doesn't know what to say.
Jason's eyes are wet but he looks ready to be resigned. "Do you still wish I was dead?"
From there, its a blame game. Dick doesn't want to feel shame over Jason, he can stomach guilt if he's in control of it but shame like this has no control mechanism. He can't win this type of shame, so he has to blame Jason instead.
He brings up Jason's actions in NYC, in Star, during UtRH. No one has any reason to trust Jason, how can he hold something like this against Dick when Dick is the only one willing to give someone as difficult as Jason a chance?
He expects Jason to lash out. An angry Jason may be hard to control, but he can win a fight against an emotional Jason, can manipulate Jason enough to get blows in. He just wants Jason to understand. Dick wants to force him down, hold him and do every possible action he can to prove that he's the big brother, the older one, the wiser one, the one who knows best.
Jason doesn't lash out. He doesn't say anything during Dick's deflection, stays quiet once Dick is done. He stares up at Dick from his place on the sofa, hunched in on himself. His sweet dimpled smile that filled Dick's entire body with adoration is gone. His sweet laughter that chimes through Dick's house is gone. His big, pretty eyes are wet and shiny like translucent glass marbles.
Dick can hardly hear his own breathing through the blood rushing through his ears, making his brain beat against his skull. Every breath is glass marble shards spiraling in his lungs.
Jason stands up from the sofa, stands before Dick. Dick braces his core, fingers twitching for the fight to come. Jason leans in, tilts his face and kisses Dick on the cheek. Gentle, chaste. It hardly lasts two seconds, more like a soft tickle of skin on skin than a kiss.
He pulls away. When his eyes meet Dick's, gone are those pretty shiny marbles reflecting the light. Those eyes are cold, hard slabs of sleek glass and they have none of the adoration Dick had let himself get used to again.
"Goodbye, big brother."
Jason leaves. Dick's chest is both hollow and heavy. He doesn't think this avoidant, cold behavior of Jasons will last. If Jason showed anyone in their family affection it was Dick. This was just a bad phase and it would pass and they could continue to mend. Dick's happiness would return.
Jason doesn't speak to him. Doesn't speak to anyone. He isn't outwardly rude, doesn't antagonize anyone if they happen to see him. If anything, he is polite in the way the exchange between business partners would be. He answers questions, he avoids confrontation, he complies with cursory inquiries. He has no hatred in his voice, in his actions.
Eventually, Nightwing gets a hold of him. He approaches Red Hood with the offer of working together on a case. Hood asks if he is in need of information. Nightwing says no, but that working together on it would make it go more efficiently, faster. Red Hood declines politely, like refuting a transaction or sending a contract back to be refined.
Nightwing keeps trying. He runs into Jason while in civvies at the grocery store, proposes making dinner together. Jason declines. No excuses, just kindly refuses.
And it keeps happening. Jason doesn't lash out, not as Jason or Red Hood. He doesn't even do anything that would cause the Bats or other hero groups to have plausible reasons to antagonize him. He's friendly like a distant neighbor, works well with others for a job to be done but never goes past the level of likability one would expect of a coworker.
It makes others realize that Jason's "likeable". Suddenly, more people want to work with him and get to know him.
Dick wishes he could be happy. Its what he wanted, maybe. For Jason to reintegrate into the community, to get closer to their family, get closest to Dick. But Jason doesn't want to be friends with anyone anymore it seems. Dick knows he was lonely, he must be still lonely. So why? Is he so petty as to hold this terrible mistake—this mistake that Dick himself is so hurt by—over his head forever?
He confronts Jason eventually. Enough is enough. They need to work this out if Jason is ever gonna come home, so that they can be a family and spend time alone together again.
Jason listens to him entirely, just like their last big conversation together.
In the end, Jason just awkwardly grins at him, tucks his chin in a boyish and bashful way and says "I don't want to offend you or anything, but it's a little weird to want to get close to someone you wish was dead. Sorry, Mr. Grayson, but I don't want a family that doesn't love me and I don't want to be in yours."
Its the last fucking nerve Dick had in him and its burst open. Its him lashing out now, accusing Jason of all sorts of things, of hiding secrets, of spending time with other heroes (he hasn't other than workplace type of hanging out), of pushing Dick away for "one bad mistake compared to your dozens".
Jason just shrugs. "I'm truly sorry for what I've done. I don't expect your forgiveness, Mr. Grayson—"
"Stop fucking calling me that Jason. I'm your older brother, have some fucking respect."
"I don't have an older brother." Dick pauses. That tremble in Jason's voice is the most emotion he's heard from him in months.
Dick takes a shuddering breath. "People make mistakes sometimes, Jason. Please, let's just put this behind us. Your my—"
"I am nothing to you. Give it enough time, and you'll feel nothing but apathy and disgust for me again. I am nothing to you and I cannot wait for the day you are nothing to me too."
Dick's whole chest pangs, stuttering and dropping. So that's what this is, then. Jason hasn't been punishing him. He's trying to cut Dick off completely.
It destroys something in Dick. How dare Jason think they can just let each other go like this? After all the pain they've put each other through? All the pain and misery Jason has put their family through? He's proven he can be better and now that he is, he dares to try and cut them all off?
"You don't mean that, Jay."
"I mean every word. One day we'll walk past each other, and you'll be nothing but a stranger."
"You look just like me. We'll never be strangers. Look, you may hate me—"
"Hate you?" Jason turns away from him. "If only I could hate you as much as you have hated me. I don't hate you, I just don't want to love you anymore."
“i never see you at the club” ok well i never see you on ao3 at 2am reading about the same two bitches falling in love for the 1000th time in the 500th way
They're separate for a few months. Almost half a year. Dick stays on the move, jumping from commitment to commitment, team to team, in an attempt to block out the heartbreak. (He is always looking beside himself, expecting to see Jason there.)
Jason entrenches himself even deeper into his Gotham territory. Every second of time, every drop of blood, is for the people under his protection. (If he doesn't have the time to look in the mirror, he doesn't have the time to see all he's lacking.)
They hear about each other through the grapevine, mostly. Roy making pointed comments towards Dick in a Titans meeting, Damian sideyeing Jason during shared meals with Talia as he talks about Dick.
"I wasn't good enough," They both think, & fail to move on in any way that matters.
Then, it's the end of the world. It is always the end of the world. Jason rolls his eyes as the Justice League calls for all hands on deck situation. He plants his feet firmly in Gotham: the rest of the world isn't his business, but protecting the Alley is.
Hours later, the day is saved. He hears it was a close call. That it took everything the League had & then some. Bloody, exhausted, still standing, the Red Hood does his final rounds before heading back home. Another failed apocalypse, another day in Gotham.
Only, there's someone waiting for him when he gets home. Still in his Nightwing suit, his hair matted with sweat & his face speckled with blood, is Dick.
Jason would prefer the end of the world.
"What." He grits out, more demand then question, & is glad his helmet hides his expression. Glad his neighbors know better than to spy through peepholes at him.
From behind his back, like a magic trick, Dick produces flowers. Clearly uprooted from someone's window box, wrapped precariously in old newspaper. Already wilting at the edges. Something catches in Jason's throat, all the same.
"I almost died today." Dick begins, as if that isn't a daily occurrence. "The whole world almost died today."
He thrusts the flowers out, almost fully into Jason's chest. The most awkward, the least graceful, Jason's ever seen him.
"I almost died, & all I could think about was you." Slowly, as if they'd bite like a Poison Ivy special, Jason accepts the flowers. They feel too delicate in his bruised, blunt hands.
"I just. I want to make this right. Let me make this right?"
It feels like a dream. But even in a dream, he wouldn't have the flowers. Dick... Dick's never given him flowers, before.
"Do you," Jason begins, clears his throat, tries again, "Do you want to come in?"
Dick's answering smile is sort that would've inspired him to poetry, in the past.
They're not fixed, not yet. But it's a start.
OOOOOOHHH AH MY HEART😭😭😭
“But even in a dream, he wouldn’t have the flowers. Dick never given him flowers, before”
STOPP MY POOR HEART😭😭 DICK GRAYSON YOU BETTER PICK UP YOUR SLACK YOU HEAR ME!!!! TREAT HIM WAY BETTER NOW!!!! OR ILL COME BANGING ON YOUR DOOR 💢💢💢
This is better, thank you….. and after this jason learns to communicate what he wants and needs and dick learns how to notice jason’s subtle shifts in emotions and behaviors to realize what he needs to do…❤️
Just some quick background practice, posting before I have to log off for around 2 weeks?? If you see me post? I am alive. If you don't see me post? I am also alive, just signal and internet connection are not being kind to me
Fantastical Greek god-ish au where Jason is a water nymoh that lives in a serene lake tucked deep in the woods, and Dick is the god that is absolutely smitten with him. Jason who is mean, weary, and skittish with any human/divine being because of how he’s been cruelly victimized by all kinds of figures in his life and much rather prefers the company of curious animals, little sprites, and his own collection of trinkets.
Dick who stumbled upon this water nymph when investigating some turmoil in certain parts of his territory, hearing rumors and gossip along the human and divine grapevine about a “malicious, cunning, and deceptive entity” that lurks in the forest and prevents humans from getting too deep into the forest by ruining traps, freeing hunted creatures, and even being able to perform magic to make contracts and binding vows with whatever unfortunate creature that makes a deal with him for protection. Dick falling in love with him at first sight when he’s shapeshifter as a helpless looking rabbit: Jason freshly bathed, naked and laying on a warm spot by the lake bank on his stomach, chin cushioned between forearms, long curly strands wet and sticking to his face while he enjoys the sunlight. Jason registering another presence and immediately going soft after realizing it’s just a ‘innocent looking rabbit’ and cooing/playing with it all sweet and gentle. Wind God Dick who starts neglecting his duties a little ( a lot lowk) to visit his favorite little water sprite and see him laugh, and the more he learns about him, finds out pieces of him through other critters, the more he wants to scoop Jason up and take him somewhere nobody can try to hurt him again. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately for Dick in the end run, his neglecting of duties results in him ignoring the very reason why he ever got to see Jason in the first place. Perhaps it’s when Dick is fixing a problem he neglected to fix that the truth is revealed to Jason and he’s so so betrayed because he felt safe with the little creatures but dick destroyed the sanctity of that as well and never wanting to see him again. Dick who stings from the rejection but is not petty enough a god to punish him for it
In the meantime there are people from neighboring villages who are livid and fed up with nothing being done about this creature that won’t obey the sanctity of their home. Slowly making plans to locate this evil witch and get rid of them so that they may be blessed with abundant harvest and hunts and other goods to sell for a pretty coin or two. Jason being chased down and taken down by groups of hunters and some mercenaries, all with more than just a vendetta and pent up anger against him. Eventually having whatever sheer robes on his figure ripped off him, thoroughly beaten, being degraded, tied up, and forced to submit to violence of hunters who pride themselves on breaking things. Jason dragged back to the village square to be paraded as some kind of trophy before he’s killed off for his crimes in front of the church of the god of wind.
Dick only remembering to check in on stuff when he overhears chants of his name and loud commotions in one of the villages in his territory. He goes down to see what is happening to incite his name in celebration?
And then he sees his favorite little nymph, bleeding, broken, and moments away from being snuffed out by an executioners blade.
Well, the perks of having a high spot on the divine heirarchy tier list does involve getting away with events of mass murder, even if it’s of your own devotees doing what they should never be doing in your name, especially if you do it in front of your already terrified little nymph. This also does give the god an answer to his question “when is it acceptable to pick him up and steal him away forever?” Which to dick is anytime ASAP, and before Jason even realizes it he’s being picked up by a god and forced off the ground and pulled into the sky.
This is getting long and I don’t even know what I’m getting at. Something something cute little water nymph Jason getting kidnapped by god and kept hostage on rolling clouds. Jason who is so so so deeply uncomfortable and defensive against gods especially from how deeply he’s been scarred and being so on edge when Dick does anything to him. Dick who does not register th fear mortals experience of gods and invading Jason’s space and being affectionate while Jason shuts down like a newborn fawn going limp at the face of a predator and straight back into Dick’s lap. Nymph Jason who wants to go back down to his little lake but is lovingly kept by another god and shown off to the rest of the world as being Dick Grayson. Mm more loving loving, doting god x frightened devotee
Pennies for your thoughts?
oh my goddd... water nymph!jason ㅠㅠ stop stop stop, i love him already ㅠㅠ singing with the songbirds, helping squirrels and deer drink from his lake, playing with the sprites, taking care of his trinkets, ohhh ㅠㅠ my heart! and if he's mean when it comes to humans/divine beings, so what! i have no doubt that they deserved it >:( !! leave him and his lake be...!
and i understand dick. if i saw jason naked and glistening beautifully in the sunlight, i would also fall in love with him. i would also neglect my duties as a god if that meant jason would pick me up and cuddle me and pet me and feed me strawberries.
aghhhh!!! when it's revealed that dick is actually the bunny i'm just. thinking so hard about jason getting all up in dick's face about it, totally uncaring that he is a god because he's hurting, damn it! telling him that what dick did is the exact reason why he doesn't trust anyone outside of his grove! and it'd hurt sooo much more if jason did grow fond of bunny!dick because he would see that sweet little rabbit so often... it would hop happily whenever jason would pet it and it would cuddle up with him when he was down... so to find out that none of that was real and dick was deceiving him because of his own selfish desires... poor baby...
thank god dick intervened in time because holy shit?? but can you imagine being one of those pricks who kidnapped jason thinking that you'll earn the favor of the wind god for such a glorious sacrifice in his name only to get your shit rocked and your town razed by a tornado. lol. lmao even. that's what you get ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
but fuck yes i'm so into this!! anon pls come back sometime and elaborate more on jason's past dealings with mortals and gods... i know they cannot have been good but i'm so interested in the details...
am i being too mean if i suggest that the first time they make love, jason starts to cry and dick assumes that it's tears of happiness because why else would jason be crying? he can't be scared because he has dick to protect him. he can't be sad because dick will provide for him no matter what. he kisses jason's tears away and gently caresses his cheek, saying that he's so glad jason is with him now. he's so glad that jason is his now.
not entirely sure if i'm going to word this correctly but i also kind of love how jason's... doll-like in this situation? he lets dick do whatever he wants because he's so fucking scared of being on the wrong end of dick's temper. it just makes my brain go brrrrr when i think about dick pulling jason into his arms, totally unaware that jason is borderline disassociating :D kissing jason's lips that do not kiss back but that doesn't even matter because dick is satisfied enough with their lips touching :D OHHH... jason sitting at dick's feet with his head resting on dick's thigh....................... dick roaming his hands all over jason's body, resting his hand on top of jason's chest and thinking that his elevated heartbeat is because he's excited...........
omg wait also what if. what if some of the mercenaries and such were able to escape..... and dick tracks them down and kills them to prove to jason that he only has his best interests at heart...... he's different from the others that have hurt him, can't he see? will he be able to rest a bit easier knowing that he can't be targeted in that way again? not that dick would ever let that happen, of course!
damian lamenting over the fact that he has a crush on tim, and jason laughing his ass off saying "it's tradition to get butterflies over the robin that came before you" or something
and damian going "what? there's no way you were attached to grayson, he told me you hated him!"
and jason scoffing "that's from dick's perspective, of course he thinks i hate him, he still feels guilt from my death! how the fuck can a 15 year old not have a crush on dick grayson when he gives you the robin mantle?"
and damian screaming "grayson handed the robin mantle? to you?!"
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