Dummy thick

but dummy like stupid and thick like also stupid

[his-royal-bozo]

Currently at tge San Diego Zoo getting day drunk on chocolate liqueurs with the chimpanzees

[his-royal-bozo]

The relationship between my sister and her cat could best be described as such. She is an absent, wealthy, aristocratic, mother and the child she leaves at her estate with the help (me). only to show up once every so often to aggressively baby her until she inevitably leaves on another trip (the cat, as you might expect, hates this)

[his-royal-bozo]

Me and the boys went on a little vacation in Fangorn Forrest, smoked so much green I coulda sworn the trees were talking

[theres-rue-for-you]

my brother works on a boat so when he rants about his job I can’t take it seriously because he keeps angrily referring to his boss as “captain”. like sorry ur having 19th century sailor problems my guy

[his-royal-bozo]

Currently at tge San Diego Zoo getting day drunk on chocolate liqueurs with the chimpanzees

[his-royal-bozo]

I am so angry all the time. It sucks, I can feel it pulling me down. When I see what's happening in the United States and seeing similar happenings here in my country, not being angry feels irresponsible; that if I don't get mad somehow that means I stopped caring. I know that's not true but it doesn't change how I feel. So I guess if I'm faced with the choice of anger or apathy for the first time in my life I don't feel wrong by going with the former. I'd rather people remember me as angry or overreacting, rather than quiet and complicit.

[his-royal-bozo]

The human centipede is technically a human millipede as there are 2 pairs of legs per body segment

[sandmandaddy69]

[lieutenant-sarcastic]

For Years my brother has been fucking with me by periodically texting me to say Jimmy Carter had finally died. Today the bit has paid off.

The response to my reaction at work was “what do you MEAN ‘for real this time’?????”

I fucking hate it here I’m crying

[jellycaustic]

They should make an actual "banned books" store that only sells classified government documents

[irishironclad]

It’s called War Thunder forums

[seven-oh-four]

character misses their shot and the villain goes "ha! you missed." and the main character goes "did i?" and then shoots the villain again while they're frantically looking around the room for what the hero could possibly have aiming for instead

[segamascott]

[shadow27]

[witchofprose-deactivated2020041]

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

[untitled12573]

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-

[knitmeapony]

From The Killers, 1946. A Film Noir Classic

[theprofessional-amateur]

I’m an archivist, behold my growing collection was of old photos mirroring timeless memes I’ve come across at various places I’ve worked.

[alchemicalwerewolf]

@antiquepearlss (nice pfp btw)

[antiquepearlss]

Obsessed

[toskarin]

ah... your secret technique... in normal circumstances, such a bullet would have no effect on me, but you certainly knew that, my rival... and so, cleverly, you accelerated it with a gun

[decamarks]

Thinking of becoming a guy that thinks wolves are the most badass and aspirational animal, but about ants. Like wearing t-shirts about being loyal to my Queen and training to bench 5x my bodyweight. Studying ant warfare. Posting shit like this

[lastoneout]

Actually my favorite replacement for both 'kill myself' jokes and jokes about reacting violently to things/people that upset me is "I'm going to end up on the news" like it's versatile, it's vague, it's not going to get me in trouble with any censors or websites that take joke threats seriously, it's family friendly while still getting the point across, what's not to love???

[his-royal-bozo]