I don't know if you are still doing the ship game. What do you think about Drarry? I apologise if you have already answered it- I tried to see if someone else has asked but I may have missed your response. It's a very popular ship and there are lots of well written fics by incredibly talented authors that I have enjoyed. But when I take that aside and look at the pairing just on its own, I struggle to articulate my thoughts on what I actually think about the pairing.
thank you for the ask @sarafina-sincerity!
i do read drarry, but i think it's probably fair to say that i don't read drarry because i expect it to make sense.
i like it fluffy and stupid, to be enjoyed after a hard day at work when i want something which is crammed full of fuck-buddies-to-oh-wait-this-is-serious tropes which doesn't require too much effort to engage with.
and so the fics i tend to read aren't drarry which really grapples with exactly how difficult it can be to make harry and draco work as a stable couple while still feeling true to their canon characters.
[they're not fics which dive into how they would be as an unstable couple either, which is - frankly - because i prefer to see harry in toxic messes with other people.]
i like a bit of of out-of-character nonsense - i love to tune into a fic in which draco is assertive and witty and sophisticated [even though in the books he's an insecure little bitch whose jokes always flop] and harry is passive, preternaturally adoring, and speaks like a therapist [even though in the books he's a reckless feral cat with the emotional awareness of cardboard], or ron and hermione come around to it really quickly. i think they're fun!
but arguing that drarry could make sense as a happy relationship when the characters are as they are in canon is difficult. indeed - with my apologies to drarry-is-canon nation - i think that it's even more difficult than making many of the completely implausible-sounding harry-centric pairings work [and, indeed, draco-centric pairings, taco nation rise up]. and i think it's worth dissecting why.
the first reason is that, much as umbridge is often the villain that readers have the most visceral reaction to [and much as the thing about snape which seems to most upset readers is that he's a horrible teacher], the fact that draco is just some guy at school actually makes the pairing harder. unlike something like snarry - in which a semi-mystical connection between the two is set up by the narrative - or tomarry - in which an overtly mystical connection is - drarry is just two lads who don't really get on.
indeed, despite a tendency to explain their vibe in the books as sexual tension, harry gives no indication of particularly caring about draco as a person while they're at school. he thinks he's annoying, pretentious, rude, and cowardly, but - outside of half-blood prince - he's not ever actually shown to escalate those feelings into being particularly obsessed with him. harry doesn't watch draco constantly, or follow him around, or devote a huge amount of time to thinking about him when they're not together for reasons which aren't directly connected to his perception of draco as a bigot whom he loathes. the reason why he remembers so many details about him is because he wants to see him and his father punished, not because he finds him compelling.
even in half-blood prince, harry's obsession with draco is broadly external to the man himself - it's rooted in his attempts to block out his grief over sirius, his anger at the death eaters who killed his godfather [lucius malfoy among them], his suspicion of snape, and the things he's learning about tom riddle.
draco, though, is obsessed with him. harry spends seven years living rent free in his head: he tracks his movements, he can barely make it through the day without seeking him out to try and get some attention from him, and he clearly talks about him all the time [he needs no prompting from "crabbe" and "goyle" to bring him up during the polyjuice scene in chamber of secrets, for example].
he also obviously has some level of respect for harry - he acknowledges, even if it's through complaining to his father, that he's a good quidditch player, for instance - and, by the end of the series, he clearly does regard harry as brave. whereas, when it comes to more positive emotions, harry pities draco, but he never seems to like or admire him.
[and it's striking that - since i see a lot the idea that drarry is more plausible than hinny as a pairing - harry takes exactly the same view of draco's relationship to voldemort as he does to ginny's. he regards draco as someone who should be protected from voldemort, but doesn't regard him as someone who could fight back or who should be acknowledged as talented in his own right. despite the fact that, for example, he knows draco's a competent occlumens.]
as a result, i always prefer drarry in which draco is the more feral one, but the default dynamic seems to have harry chasing him, rather than the other way round. i would also like to see more authors work with how likely draco would be to put up for long with having such an obvious interest in a man who is likely to be paternalistic towards him in return
[and also a man who's quite likely to expect to become his partner's priority, rather than the other way round. one issue with a lot of harry's relationships, whether his canonical one with ginny or a fanon alternative, is that the role he occupies in the story means that he tends to relate to people he knows not as equals but either as people he needs to protect or people he needs to protect others from. in a relationship with draco, he is likely to pivot from the latter to the former, and i can't imagine that draco - who thinks of himself as a protector as well, especially in his relationship with his mother - is going to particularly enjoy this. this is why i like middle-aged, have had decades to calm down, widowed or divorced drarry - it feels like it has more chance of being equal than the school-age or immediately post-war stuff.]
harry's indifference-bordering-on-dislike towards draco does stand in contrast to how he thinks about other male characters that he's frequently paired with. to return to snarry and tomarry, harry is shown to admire snape at numerous points prior to the end of half-blood prince, his interest in the prince's textbook reveals that he and snape have a shared intellectual compatibility, and - above all - harry understands and empathises with snape's background and experiences. similarly, harry is shown to admire voldemort at numerous points, the narrative sets them up as being very similar, and - above all - harry understands and empathises with voldemort's background and experiences.
[harry is also obviously physically attracted to tom riddle, while draco isn't - although this is, of course, not an insurmountable issue - obviously his type. the men harry finds attractive in canon are all tall, thin, and dark-haired, and draco is always described by the narrative in terms which suggest that harry thinks he's ugly (the frequent description of him as "sleek" or "gleaming" is an insult in context). the same is true for lucius malfoy.]
i think that one explanation for the above is that a lack of shared background is one of the major stumbling blocks to drarry which doesn't exist in the other two pairings.
i love an auror partners trope-fic as much as any other girl, but - in reality - draco never needs to work and never gives the impression of being career-minded or finding career ambition valuable. harry is certainly rich enough not to need to work - and the fact that he has a pureblood name and resembles his pureblood father gives him an amount of class protection in the wizarding world which means that drarry is nowhere near as socially unequal as something like dramione - but he evidently finds the idea of working valuable, not least because he wants to achieve recognition for something other than being the boy-who-lived.
but draco - who likes being thought special on the basis of unearned things like his family name - would struggle to understand this. and, in return, harry would struggle to understand how draco's adult life - something i suspect he would see as one of tedious luxury - is driven by a sense of conformist duty to his family and his peers. after all, harry believes in the value of found family and earned loyalty, and loathes any expectation that he should be deferential to people just because of who they are.
of course, i don't think this would prevent them being together. it would just cause a tension which would either see everything crash and burn [hot] or which would require growth from both characters which takes a certain lightness of touch to pull off. there are lots of drarry authors who do one or both of these in their works, of course. but those authors are very rarely trying to portray harry and draco as [to begin with, at least] a good or healthy couple…
but with this said, i also think that some common criticisms of drarry wouldn't actually be a big deal to either harry or draco.
the most significant of these is the fact that harry is morally righteous - yes - but this manifests itself in an expectation of loyalty from other people, but not an expectation of purity.
in post-war drarry, i think it's entirely reasonable to say that harry's belief that the malfoys turned against voldemort because of loyalty to each other [something he finds valuable, and clearly considers to be the appropriate way for a family unit to behave - look at what he thinks of percy weasley, for example], as well as lucius malfoy's extra-canonical willingness to help harry and the ministry by informing on all his former associates [which, according to jkr, results in him being spared azkaban and harry thinking that's fine] enables him to let go of draco's past, and to have a relationship without the weight of that history hanging over them. i don't think he ever becomes fond of lucius - although i think he is likely to feel slightly more warmth towards narcissa - but i also don't think he would expect draco to estrange himself from his family or completely change as a person in order to consider him worthy of his affection.
[this is, for what it's worth, something which makes dramione much more implausible for me - even if draco is capable of redemption (which, like everyone, he is), i don't think she's ever forgiving him or considering him changed enough to be worthy of her, and i don't think she should have to.]
draco may not, however, consider this acceptance to be as much of a gift as harry might - above all because i believe sincerely that harry would never feel bad about the sectumsempra incident. draco is clearly someone who holds grudges, and i think that this would always be in quite profound tension with harry's remarkable [but also entirely self-interested] ability to decide he's going to let things go.
i also think that harry is going to be able to handle draco's more negative characteristics better than he's sometimes given credit for, since all of them - especially his tendency towards jealousy, self-aggrandisement, and moping - are things he shares with ron. and, like ron, i think draco is going to be surprisingly good at dealing with harry's impulsivity, his tendency to brood, and tendency to form knee-jerk judgements. these seemingly opposing personality traits are actually quite nicely balanced.
and, of course, the big one: love is strange and unpredictable; forgiveness can be easy just as often as it can be difficult; everyone is capable of redemption; people can choose to be together despite significant odds against them; choice is much more interesting than fate; and fluffy drarry is unbelievably entertaining.
my final statement, though? people are sleeping on dron. ron and draco have all the right ingredients - above all, the fact that they're narrative mirrors - which makes things like snack bang. the potential for drama and intrigue and destabilising love is right there. harry simply cannot compete.
