international art thief.

somebody call for an art thief ?

[hisleisure]

#𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐢𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞.      an      independent,      private      &      highly      selective      writing      blog      for      𝙿𝙸𝙴𝚁𝚁𝙴      𝙳𝙴𝚂𝙿𝙴𝚁𝙴𝙰𝚄𝚇      from      the      usa      series      &      movie      franchise,      𝒑𝒔𝒚𝒄𝒉.      primarily      headcanon      based.     established      2019.      as      stolen      by      becker      (      she      /      her      /      25      ).

                  𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐝.      𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬.      𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠.      𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭.      𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐨.

[tomatotext]

the thing is. art crime always has the goofiest, pink panther-esque plots. like mini chainsaws? a ladder that may or may not be part of it? riding away on scooters? like I know it's a serious thing "stealing is bad" blah blah blah but if they wanted me to be stoic about it, they should stop having heists that are like an episode of looney tunes coming to life.

[hisleisure]

french art heists are happening again we are SO BACK

[captainsolocide]

Pierre Despereaux is Shawn Spencer's Irene Adler

[hisleisure]

idk why but the way pierre was introduced just chilling and hitting the slopes at a cheesy family ski resort is so cute ??

[vaememes]

                    CRIME  BASED  SENTENCE   PROMPTS  .

             A VARIETY & MIXTURE OF COMMITTED CRIMES PROMPTS,                TRIGGERS MAY APPLY; BLOOD, MURDER, ETC.                  CHANGE PRONOUNS AS NEEDED / FITTING .

 i.       murder.

❛     what  have  you  done?     ❜

❛     what  did  you  do?   ❜

❛     you’re   going  to  prison  for  murder.    ❜

❛     how  do  you  plan  to  get  away  with  this  one?   ❜

❛    i’m  not  helping  you  do  anything!   ❜

❛     i  can’t  believe  we  just  killed   someone.      ❜

❛    why  did  you  tell  me  you  did   this!    ❜

❛     do  you  really  think  you  can  outrun  this?     ❜

❛     we  just  committed  a  murder,  don’t  tell  me  to  calm  down!     ❜

❛     i’m  not  going  down  for  this.      ❜

❛     what–   is  that  what  it  looks  like  ..  please  tell  me  it’s  not.    ❜

❛     you  really  did  this,  didn’t  you?    ❜

❛     you  really  think  i’m  going  to  help  you  move  a  dead  body?   ❜

❛     you’re  telling  me  you  didn’t  do  this?   ❜

❛     i’m  going  to  be  sick,  oh  my–  i  can’t.    ❜

❛     why  did  you  do  this?   ❜

❛     you   can’t  get  away  with  murder!   ❜

❛     you  said  we  were  going  to   scare   him/her/them,  not  kill  him/her/them!   ❜

 ii.       theft.

❛     hey,   did  you  steal  that  from  me?   looks  familiar.     ❜

❛     you  want  me  to  help  you  rob  someone?   ❜

❛     i  am  not  going  to  help  you  rob  someone.    ❜

❛     i’m  pretty  sure  that’s  stealing.   ❜

❛     you  stole  from  me!   ❜

❛     the  only  thing  i  steal  is  hearts.      ❜

❛     give  it  back!    ❜

❛     are  we  seriously  stealing  right  now?     ❜

❛     you  have  a  serious  sticky  finger  problem.    ❜

❛     you  can’t  just  go  around  and  steal  from  people.      ❜

❛     why  did  you  take  it?     ❜

❛     you  know  you’re  going  to  get  caught,  right?    ❜

❛     you  want  me  steal?   why  can’t  you  do  it?   ❜

❛     i’m  not  going  to  steal  for  you.     ❜

❛     you   are   a   thief!     ❜

❛     why  are  you  robbing  these  people?   ❜

❛     you  tried  to  steal  from  me!   ❜

❛     i   didn’t   steal   it!  ❜

 iii.       arson.

❛     you   didn’t  have  anything  to  do  with  that  arson.     ❜

❛      arson  is  a  crime.     ❜

❛     they’ll  know  it   was  an  arson.    ❜

❛     you  didn’t  have  anything  to  do  with  that  arson,  did  you?   ❜

❛    you  set  it  on  fire!   ❜

❛     i  can’t  believe  you  want  to  burn  it  down.      ❜

❛    put  the  matches  down!    ❜

❛     why  you  would  you  tell  me  you  committed  arson?     ❜

❛     i  didn’t  have  anything  to  do  with  that  arson.    ❜

❛     i’m  not  going  to  help  you  commit  arson.      ❜

❛     you  didn’t  really  burn  it  down,  did  you?     ❜

❛     what  if  there  would  have  been  people  inside?    ❜

❛     you  didn’t  think,  you  just  did  it?   ❜

❛     you  can’t  just  burn  the  place  down.     ❜

❛     please  don’t  do  this! ❜

❛     why  do  you  want  to  burn  it  for?   ❜

❛     you  really  did  it?   i  didn’t  think  you’d  really  do  it!    ❜

❛     you  aren’t  being  serious,  right?   they’ll   know   we  did   it.    ❜

 iv.       fraud.

❛     you  stole  my  identity?     ❜

❛      you   stole   someone’s   identity?   ❜

❛      i’m   pretty  sure  that’s  fraud.    ❜

❛      you  can’t  just  forge  a  signature.     ❜

❛      i’m  just  going  to  forge  their  signature.   ❜

❛      you  aren’t  allowed  to  sign   someone   else’s  name.      ❜

❛     you  signed  my  name  for  me?   ❜

❛     why  would  you  sign  my  name?     ❜

❛     that’s  illegal,  you  can’t  sign  for  anyone’s  name.    ❜

❛     you’re  using  someone’s  social  security.      ❜

❛     you  stole  someone’s  social  security?     ❜

❛     how  are  you  not  in  jail  for   fraud?    ❜

❛     you  do   know  that’s  fraud,  right?   ❜

❛     it’s  not  okay  to  forge  my  signature  without  asking  me.     ❜

❛     you  lied  about  you  are! ❜

❛     you  gave  the  police  a  wrong  name?   ❜

❛     i  didn’t  mean  to  sign  your  name.   ❜

❛     do  you  think  they  have  finally  caught  on  to  you?     ❜

 v.       truancy.

❛     you   really   need  to  go  to  school.     ❜

❛      why  don’t  you  want  to  go  to  school?     ❜

❛      you  can’t  keep  missing  school.    ❜

❛      we  got  a  truancy  letter  in  the  mail  today.   ❜

❛     you  have  a  court  date  for  missing  school!   ❜

❛      please,  just  go  to  school,  before  you  end  up   in  jail.      ❜

❛     you  will  go  jail  if  you  keep  missing!    ❜

❛     why  aren’t   you  ever  at   school?     ❜

❛     it’s  either  school   or   jail.    ❜

❛     i’m  being  convicted  of  truancy.      ❜

❛     they  are  trying  to  lock  you  up  for  missing  school?     ❜

❛     why  should  i  go  to  school?    ❜

❛     you  want  to  go  to  jail?   ❜

❛     come  on,  just  a  few  more  years  and  it’s  history.   ❜

❛     get  to  school  now! ❜

❛     what  does  being   truant  ever  mean?   ❜

❛     i’m  sorry,  you’re  what,  a  truant?   ❜

vi.       vandalism.

❛     pretty  sure  this  is  vandalism.     ❜

❛      can  you  even  really  get  into  trouble  for  painting  a  wall?     ❜

❛      it’s  just  a  little  graffiti.  ❜

❛      you  broke  someone’s  property,  that’s  okay.    ❜

❛     you  can’t  go  onto  someones  property  and  break  things!   ❜

❛      i  don’t  want  to  do  this  anymore!      ❜

❛      don’t  tell  me  to  calm  down!  we  just  got  caught  on  camera!    ❜

❛     you  took  a  baseball  bat  to  someone’s  home?     ❜

❛     i’m  not   going  to  ruin  someone’s  property.   ❜

❛     they  know  it   was  you.      ❜

❛     you  spray  painted  the  side  of  that  building?   ❜

❛     you  want  to  graffiti  with  me  later?    ❜

❛     did  you  ever  get  in  trouble  for  vandalism?   ❜

❛     i’m  not  going  to  vandalize  someone’s  house.  ❜

❛     hurry!   someone’s  coming!   ❜

❛    you  know  there  are  camera’s  up  everywhere?   ❜

❛     are  you  crazy?  they  have  camera’s!   ❜

vii.       trespassing.

❛     hey,  i’m  pretty  sure  this  is  trespassing.     ❜

❛      you  want  to  go  over  there?     ❜

❛     you  want  to  climb  the  fence  and  go  over  there? ❜

❛      what  are  we  doing  here  anyway.    ❜

❛      you’re  trespassing!   ❜

❛     i  am  not  trespassing  and  breaking  and  entering.    ❜

❛      that’s  breaking  and  entering!    ❜

❛     first,  trespassing.  now  breaking  and  entering?     ❜

❛     i  am  not  going  to  trespass.  ❜

❛     stop  right  there!   what  are  you  doing  trespassing  onto  my  property!     ❜

❛     you  think  someone  is  trespassing?  ❜

❛     you  are  trespassing!   ❜

❛     i’m  not  getting  in  trouble  for  trespassing.   ❜

❛     i’m  not  trespassing,  i   live  here.   ❜

❛     what  are  you  doing  trespassing?   ❜

❛    you  can’t  go  around  and  trespass.  ❜

❛     trust  me,  i’m  not  going  to  get  caught.   ❜

[hisleisure]

i’m on the indiana shawn episode in my despereaux ep rewatch and the one thing i especially love abt this episode is that everyone on the sbpd knows about shawn and pierre’s friendship. like it’s not a secret at all. they send each other birthday gifts and follow each other on twitter. for an internationally wanted thief who prides himself on secrecy and being impossible to catch / find, shawn is probably one of only a handful of people who know how to contact him and who pierre will answer when he calls.

when the gang hears about pierre “dying”, juliet and henry’s first thought is about shawn and how he must be feeling. because they know it wasn’t just a wanted criminal who died, but shawn’s friend. they might not like pierre or necessarily approve but they actually, GENUINELY try to console shawn and apologize / warn him about taking on the case because he’s too personally involved. like!!! the santa barbara police departments highest paid consultant is a well known associate for an internationally wanted criminal and the authorities are :/ but otherwise kind of weirdly supportive abt it and i just?? really love their friendship?? let men be highkey in love with their friends.

[hisleisure]

𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐒𝐄𝐄,  𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐖𝐍,  𝐌𝐘 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄'𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐀𝐋 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐂𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐄.   i've always thought of my heists as ...  elegant.  victimless.  but you made me feel somehow regretful.  you genuinely wanted me to be the greatest thief that ever lived.  well,  gentlemen,  i need you to know that i am capable of all the things you thought i could do and more.  and i'd like the opportunity to prove it to you.

[maxevvans]

[mesopelagic]

i am just, a horrid little beast and i am, going to cause a ruckus

[hisleisure]

who’s the bigger idiot:  shawn for shouting pierre’s name across a crowded ski slope or pierre for actually responding to it

[metvmorqhoses]

forgive me father for i have sinned in all the most intricate, exquisite and aesthetically pleasing ways i was capable of

[hisleisure]

🚬　┈　labyriinths

@hisleisure​

Gus heard one of Shawn’s squeaky toys,and looked up from his computer fully expecting Shawn, but instead found Pierre Despereaux. He could feel his blood pressure mounting since every run in with him resulted in consequences they never asked for. He was sure today would be no different. He got up from his desk quickly. “Wait–No. You’re not suppose to be here. Aren’t you on trial?” 

                 𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗿𝗿𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘂𝘅,  𝗶𝗻 𝗮 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗲 𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲?    𝚄𝙽𝙷𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙳 𝙾𝙵 !

                         ❝       𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰𝘰, 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳.       ❞       misnomer rolls easy off his tongue,  as does the soft tut of disapproval that follows.       ❝        has shawn not shared the good news?  i’m out on bail,  though i fully expect to be a free man in a matter of weeks.  you know as well as i do they’ve got no evidence against me.       ❞     he moves with all the grace of a cat that’s caught the canary,  strolling through the office with a curious gait.  thumb runs over the bumps of the toy he’d picked up from the desk and he squeezes it again,  drawing out the strangled noise and watching as the eyes bulged red.  such an irritating and unsightly toy.  of course it must be shawn’s.   ah.       ❝       speaking of the devil,  where is our favorite detective,  hm?       ❞

[goldfinchpdf]

when are we as a society going to stop romanticizing serial killers and start romanticizing art heists? there is no crime sexier than an art crime try to convince me otherwise. you won’t.

[hisleisure]

sometimes i’ll randomly remember that pierre was only in 4 episodes total and that just seems so unreal to me

[hisleisure]

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.    /    @sitched​ said. “ PUT THAT MONET BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME ”

    ❝       you mean this dreadful,  old thing?       ❞       air of innocence maintained,   veils meticulously sculpted desception beneath.   is this what’s got you in a fuss?   this centuries old piece of stained canvas?   how vastly overrated.       ❝          no,   i don't think i will.       ❞

[hisleisure]

someone give me a 36 Questions au where pierre is judith