Будь что будет

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: You've got to work for me to be yours,Jar. Earn it and maybe I will be.

Oskar: Вы думаете? Это много шлюх

Jared: I'll work for you if you work for me.

Jared: Я знаю. И они ничто по сравнению со мной.

[wtfharley-blog-blog]

Sorry for going awol! Just started a new job, so things are hectic. I will be back though.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Am I? Am I your good boy Jar?

Oskar: Сделайте мне развалится , то

Jared: Oh yeah, babe. You're such a good boy for me. But only me. Because you're mine, Oskar.

Jared: Когда я сделал с вами, вы забудете все свои шлюх.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // принцесса

Katerina: YOU'RE DISGUSTING GET OUT WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU

Katerina: honestly idk i like it and i think it's pretty (aT LEAST I ADMIT TO IT)

Katerina: im not being mean just logical :)))

Katerina: IM NOT THINKING ABOUT YOUR ASS BUT I MEAN IF YOU'RE 80 AND BASICALLY HAVE ONE FOOT IN THE GRAVE, IT'D BE BETTER TO ASK IDEK MAN also imagine having a tree on your wrinkly old butt omg

Jared: HOW AM I DISGUSTING? THAT'S A BLOODY GOOD FACE, AND PACKAGE IN GENERAL. IT'S ONLY NATURAL. DON'T JUDGE ME. And you're friends with me because I'm amazingly good looking, shh. You know this already.

Jared: Pfft. Still rude af, Kat. My tree will be very pretty.

Jared: being mean isn't logical :)))

Jared: ....... oKAY BUT YOU'RE STILL THINKING OF MY BUTT PLS STOP????? YOU'RE BEING SO CREEPY. GO BACK TO IMAGINING AIDEN'S BUTT OKAY.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Jared: Is that what you want? For me to control you?

Jared: если вы находитесь на колени, есть лучшие вещи для вас сделать с вашим ртом.

Oskar: I think it'd be good.

Oskar: Сосание ваш петух? Потому что я буду

Jared: I know it would be. You're so good when you do as I tell you to do.

Jared: Конечно, вы будете. И когда вы закончите, мы увидим, как далеко я могу подтолкнуть вас, пока вы не развалится ниже меня.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Then take control.

Oskar: Я получу на колени и умолять вас.

Jared: Is that what you want? For me to control you?

Jared: если вы находитесь на колени, есть лучшие вещи для вас сделать с вашим ртом.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Fuck, Jar.

Oskar: На самом деле ты мне нужен

Oskar: Perhaps.

Jared: That's what I want.

Jared: Сколько? Убедите меня.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Are you thinking about it now, Jar?

Oskar: Я хочу тебя

Oskar: Not even close.

Jared: You're all I can think about.

Jared: Больше. Продолжить.

Jared: Close enough.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Hear me beg? Listen to me beg for you in Russian Jar..? Is that what you want?

Oskar: I knew you would.

Jared: Fuck, Os. You have no idea how much I want that from you.

Jared: You're fucking killing me here.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Apparently.

Oskar: Oh? We'll see about that.

Oskar: Oh I feel dearly special.

Jared: I wanna hear you beg, Os. Beg for it and I'll do anything.

Jared: Good. I want you to.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Well, I'd say that's very good to hear because you never know what will happen.

Oskar: Both?

Oskar: Sounds like a right old treat.

Jared: I like the sound of that. Seems you and me can agree on the important things.

Jared: But you're gonna have to ask very nicely if you want me to reciprocate. ;)

Jared: You should feel special. I don't tell stories to just anyone.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: I'd take it a step further and say I could blow your dick if you let me.

Oskar: But anywho.

Oskar: I hope you do.

Jared: Well, I'd take it the extra step and say I wouldn't turn you down if you offered.

Jared: You hope I agree to let you suck my dick, or tell you my stories?

Jared: Because I'd totally be down with doing both at the same time.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

sms: open

keaton: i asked someone if i could bum a fag, and they punched me in the stomach

keaton: fucking americans

Jared: Okay, but that is literally the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Jared: I feel bad for laughing so hard but omg

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Oskar.

Oskar: Good. They'll blow your mind.

Oskar: Oh, I'm intrigued.

Jared: I'd say you're good at blowing more than just my mind.

Jared: You should be. I might surprise you.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // принцесса

Katerina: WELL STOP IMAGINING HIM PUTTING HIS FACE ON YOUR BODY BECAUSE THAT'S EVEN WORSE

Katerina: IT'S LIKE A THIN X WITH A DOT IN EACH SLOT. IT'S SIMPLE, BUT ME.

Katerina: i think deeply all the time but idk im not feeling the whole tree on my body thing. i like trees when they're 3d and in the ground

Katerina: sh UT UP OKAY IT'S AN IDEA I DONT THINK HE'D ASK YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX LIKE 'OH BABY YOU'RE SO GOOD, BUT WHY THE HELL IS THERE A TREE ON YOUR ASS?'

Jared: ... too late. What has been seen cannot be unseen, oOPS.

Jared: why tf are you getting a cross and dots on your body i dont understand (how ya like it said to yOU HUH?)

Jared: Lucky it's not on your body then?? I like my tree. Don't be mean. :(

Jared: THE TREE ISN'T GOING ON MY ASS KAT WTF STOP THINKING ABOUT MY ASS. AND MY THEORETICAL HUSBAND WOULD HAVE ASKED ME BEFORE WE WERE OLD AND WRINKLY. GET IT RIGHT.

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // Serena

Serena: A tree? Different, but I like it.

Serena: Is this your first tattoo? If so I wanna record you just for your reaction.

Jared: I think you're literally the first person not to laugh at my tree tbh.

Jared: Nah, second. And I'm more of a... keeping it internal kinda person when it comes to anything that hurts. :P

[hmujared-blog-blog]

Text // принцесса

Katerina: n OT ON YOU, DUDE. ON ME. ST OP THINKING ABOUT HIM YOU WEIRDO

Katerina: I FOU ND ONE OMG IM EXCITED

Katerina: why tf are you getting a tree on your body i dont understand

Katerina: You're gonna be 80 years old in your nice house in Moscow and your husband's going to be sitting next to you and he's going to ask 'why a tree?' and you're going to be all 'i don't know i thought it was cool'

Jared: OKAY BUT WHY WOULD I IMAGINE HIM PUTTING HIS FACE ON YOU. I'M JUST. KAT PLS. I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT MY FAULT?????

Jared: GOOD. WHAT DID YOU PICK?

Jared: You don't understand bc you're not thinking deeply. It's meaningful and shit. Represents growth and like... wisdom and stuff. It's really fucking cool. Don't judge me. I like my tree.

Jared: But like... if I'm 80 years old and this dude is my husband, why didn't he ask me before? I mean, I assume I'd have had a whole heap of sex with said husband before I was 80?? Wouldn't he have asked me /before/ we got to 80 years old? YOUR ARGUMENT IS FLAWED, KATERINA.