Did it even matter to him anymore? No not really, with how the younger saw him right now Kyungwon would much rather die than live his life knowing that his most vulnerable moment had been seen, that he dared to let his emotions flow pathetically. While his parents would be proud of him he felt like a complete disgrace, a disgrace to his own name and his coven. The name Kim Kyungwon had been tainted by misery and weakness, he was sure his grandfather was grimacing at him from his grave. He could only laugh at Namjoonâs following words (well whatever the shaking sound that came past his chattering teeth was, it was supposed to be his bitter laugh).
ââDo it, y-youâll only be doing me a f-favour.ââ were the words that followed his bitter laughter, still unable to breathe as it was far too painful for him to do so making his already shaky tone raspy, sounding as if he needed to gasp for some air. Even if he did know Namjoon well enough to know that the younger wouldnât actually do it, even if he knew that for some reason the boy just couldnât get himself to do any kind of actual harm to him, Kyungwon was still waiting patiently for his demise.
However what followed was anything but painful (well he was still fucking freezing), instead he felt the ice melt off from him, leaving him standing there like a soaked wet cat hissing and feeling completely uncomfortable. Automatically his arms had wrapped around his own figure, his body still trembling uncontrollably from the cold and really, he was trying his best to warm himself up but because of his damp clothes clinging against his skin and his wet red strands of hair sticking against his forehead and covering a big part of his face and eyes it was almost impossible for him to do so. What little flame heâd manage to do it would just die back down leaving nothing but faint smokes as a sign that they even existed for a few seconds.
Clicking teeth and trembling lips, the model found himself now staring at the ground. He didnât dare to give Namjoon a look, he didnât dare to look at him in the eyes and let him see more. He didnât want him to read about his fears anymore as he had been humiliated enough. Ofcourse it was nothing compared to what he had always done, to how he had always threated the boy during their relationship and it certainly wasnât anything compared to what his ex lover had to live with every day on his back. Still however this was Kyungwon we were talking about, a man full of pride who refuses to bown down to anyone unless they are of any good to him. His kindness was a simple joke and a mask that heâd put on only for the person that was of some kind of use to him. Arrogance was his middle name despite his gentleman like charm, a man who would keep his head high even during the worst of possible moments.
Noone would dare to stand above him.
If they did dare to do so then Kyungwon would make sure to make them back off.
And a situation like this was highly humiliating to him, it was painful to actually face the truth, it was painful for him to actually acknowledge the reality. He wasnât high and mighty, he was a complete nobody.
A nobody that had noone to count on during his hard times other than himself, a nobody who would find comfort only through harsh words and violence because he was far too frightened of facing the truth. But were his actions actually that bad and that wrong?
Maybe to everyone else, but to him they were like some sort of autodefense, a weird and very gruesome way of getting justice for himself. Maybe the reason behind why he felt no remorse in harming his victims and why he enjoyed torturing them so much was so they could feel the same way that he had been feeling. To show them just how he felt whenever words would be thrown at him for something that he simply cannot change. Disfiguring them might have looked harsh and cruel but they needed to learn their lession, they needed to see the way they would make Kyungwon see himself in the mirror every night. While some models were completely innocent and their only sin was that of being chosen over him, there was no way he could just let them go like that. You think you can get everything you want because youâve been blessed with the so called âperfectâ looks? Lets see how you can deal with suddenly waking up with a disgusting monster staring back at you from the mirror.
Maybe it wasnât his gruesome way of dealing with things the reason behind his choice for the Crimson Coven, it could be much more other than simply thinking that the people under the Silver Coven were weak and pathetic softies. Kyungwon felt hatred towards the human race, for being so judgemental, for being so cruel with their words over things that were âdifferentâ from their own personal believes. They were the actual monsters, selfish and spoiled little pricks. Even when Kyungwon was nothing more but a child there would be harsh words being thrown at him, mocking âjokesâ followed by laughter and fingers being pointed at him for simply the way he was born.
The man stood silent, still trying to regain his breath although the freezing air still stabbed his lungs each time. Heâd shut his eyes tightly trying to concentrate, trying to force himself to form atleast a few flames, atleast some fire to warm himself up but there would be nothing more but sparks appearing from the ground underneath him and around his body, simply no sort of fire was able to survive in that room at the moment. And just as he wanted to warm himself up with atleast his hands (despite them feeling incredebly numb) Kyungwon was left hissing out instead as ice was placed right against his palms the cold interwining with his fingertips leaving clueless of the fact that those were Namjoonâs hands holding his own.
He couldnât feel the given squeeze, he couldnât feel anything for that matter as his body had grown completely numb due to the cold that it was miracle that he could even stay standing up right now, could have been the thick layer of ice that was still holding him in place because Kyungwon expected himself to simply fall to the ground the moment he was free.
Gulping down at those words, there was no way he planned on stepping even lower as to actually tell Namjoon what was wrong. He had seen enough for one day (and heard since he had been both begging and crying) and Kyungwon was ready to close the pages once again and lock everything away.
ââNâŚN-Nothing.ââ he stuttered out, his eyes narrowed with twitching brows. Honestly if he could he would have lashed out at him right now, lash at him for simply standing there and watching him humiliate himself like that. To freeze him in place like a statue so he could admire the pathetic scene. ââY-You shouldnâtâŚh-have fuckingâŚd-done that NamjoonâŚââ Kyungwon muttered, even after everything that had just happend he was still so desperately trying to look tough and threatening. It took him a while to realize that he was still kept in place, making him drop his gaze to the ground once again grunting as he tried to free himself still completely clueless about the fact that the younger had been holding onto his hands this whole time, their fingers interwining perfectly with eachother. ââYouâYouâve humiliated m-me enough! L-Let me go!ââ What started at first as a shout later ended up in a mere whisper, his tone once again switching to that of a begging one unluckily for him.Â
ââD-Did you laugh enough for today? You had your fun like everyone else with me now just let m-me fucking g-go. Ha ha ha, Kim Kyungwon fucking cried and begged. Get fucking ready to tell that around. Iâm already a fucking joke to everyone for my skintone anyway.. ââ the pyrokinetic still struggled to free himself not daring to raise up his head to even look at him. There was no pride left in his eyes, there was  nothing but misery and weakness and Namjoon had seen enough of it for that day.Â
ââJustâŚL-Let me goâŚI-Iâm..soâŚc-cold...I-It hurtsâŚt-to breat..h..e..ââ
It had never been his intention to break Kyungwon down to a degree where the elder did not even dare to do so much as look him in the eyes. While Namjoon had continuously tried not to lose eye contact, his ex partner seemed to be doing the exact opposite. Was he even aware of the proximity of their hands? Judging by the lack of venomous words, the photographer assumed that his limbs had grown so numb that he was unable to feel a single thing. Hell, he doubted Kyungwon would be able to attack him even if he did let go of his hands, and yet the male did not seem to be planning on letting go anytime soon. There was something reassuring about the way in which their hands had fit so well together, whether it be painful or not. If not to soothe the elder, it surely was working miracles on soothing Namjoon.
Instead of interrupting Kyungwon, however, it was silence that filled the room. Even after the other had finished speaking, no words could be heard from Namjoonâs lips. Simply stunned by the sudden change of events, he found himself unable to do anything but listen to the broken words of an obviously very, very damaged boy. The Kyungwon he knew would never give in to the cold; he would never admit he was hurting, and he most certainly wouldnât speak words that could possibly identify him as the victim.
And yet here he was, prideful Kyungwon, completely broken down to pieces.
Had it been his fault? It was a thought that kept rushing through his mind from time to time; a thought he strongly desired to not be true. They had had fights before, fights that had been far worse than this one; but there had never been a time where he had seen Kyungwon as small as he seemed to be right now. âKeep your head held high and show them what youâre made ofââwords that the model had always seemed to live by. It couldnât possibly be that one simple fight between the two of them had caused for this to happen, could it? What had happened in the time he blacked out?
There was only one thing he was sure of at this point, and that was that he absolutely hated to see Kyungwon this way. Contrary to what he was being accused of, Namjoon couldnât bear to laugh. He couldnât even manage a simple smile, let alone find the will nor power to mock him for the mess he had turned into.
Yes, as bad as it made him feel, that was all that was left of Kim Kyungwon. A complete and utter messâbut not one he was about to drag down even further.
âNobody is being humiliated,â are the first words that finally break the silence, the sound of it no more than a hushed whisper. âNobody is making fun of you. I promise.â
And when Namjoon made a promise, he would stick to that promise.
Carefully, the younger freed one of his hands and raised it to the otherâs head instead. It was risky what he was doing, he knew that. Now that Kyungwon was fully conscious again, he would know what was going on, but Namjoon didnât quite care. Heâs always been a bit too reckless for his own good.
Cold digits found their way into red locks of hair, soothingly brushing them away from his forehead. âI already told you, the cameras arenât working right now. Do you really think the people would believe me if I tried to start a rumor about the ever so confident Kyungwon begging me to stop freezing his ass off?â A grin did manage to crack on his face after those words, no matter the gravity of the situation. âIâm not telling anyone.â
His next move was no less risky than him touching Kyungwonâs hair, but he simply couldnât stop himself from doing so. Seems like the part he had left behind with the elder at that time has found its way back to him, causing him to somehow feel protective over this fragile shadow of the pyrokinetic.
Upon Kyungwonâs request, his feet are freed from the ground a few moments after, the ice melting perfectly against the frosted floor. However, Namjoon does not intend on letting him go just yet. Both of his hands are moved towards his chest, pushing Kyungwon backwards against the wall. There was not much harm he could do with the crazy low temperatures they currently found themselves in, and he figured he could best take the bet. âDonât try to fight me,â he warned the other, just in case. âIt is too cold for you to win, Iâll have you frozen again in a second if you dare to do so much as point a flame into my direction. Got it?â
Whether or not he had ill intentions, that didnât take away the fact the he didnât plan on letting Kyungwon go just yet. And he knew Kyungwonâknew him all too well. He wouldâve tried everything to get out of this cold. Perhaps now that he was warned, he would actually think before striking.
âDo you remember what I always used to say about your skintone?â There is no sign of mockery nor hatred in his eyes whatsoever. For a moment, Namjoon has forgotten all about the fact that he is supposed to despise the person in front of him for all that he has done to himâbut how could he hate someone that was once his reason for existing? How could he possibly not worry when he had turned into the biggest mess he had ever seen? Whatever happened after today: it didnât matter. What had happened in this room would stay in this room, but he wouldnât ever forgive himself if he had let Kyungwon run away in this state. Not when he knew the kind of damage similar comments had done to him in the past.
Once again, his hands came up to cup perfectly tanned cheeks, gently tilting his head backwards. âLook at me, hyung.â His thumbs brushed against sharp cheekbones, a dead serious expression lingering on his face. âThe sun simply loved you the most. You got it? And what are some obnoxious humans compared to the sun? With the little amount of sun they got, no wonder theyâd be jealous of you.â
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
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