“do you... trust me?” it’s a low whisper, soft lips pressed against the stuttering pulse in your throat. but you think, or maybe you hope, the implications are trying to delve much deeper into your heart. regardless, your answer has never wavered.
“yes.”
pairing: joseon king!yoongi x reader
genre: smut, angst, fluff
parts posted: 45/45 +1
words: 68k
contains: drabble series, historical au, royal au, romance, drama, the very definition of “it’s complicated,” inspired by daechwita.
a/n: please pay attention to the dates, but read in the order that the drabbles are listed, not in chronological!
historical context/references. | fic playlist.
february 1869 {m} - your king takes care of you and his business, no matter who is watching.
april 1869 {m} - the night brings with it the moon, rippling waters, and truths silenced with his mouth hot on your skin.
november 1857 - you meet for the first time as children, caught in the crossfire of hatred.
march 1858 - a visitor you never expected; a day you will never forget.
june 1868 - but trust is a fickle, fragile thing.
august 1868 - the gilded throne is, above all, lonely.
october 1868 - it’s a fine line between fear and respect.
november 1868 {m} - you’ve always been his, haven’t you?
december 1868 {m} - just how much would you give up for him?
may 1861 - here, the world vanishes and you are unafraid to dream, to want.
october 1864 - but nothing gold can stay.
interlude: september 1865 - yet, even the darkest night must break to dawn.
october 1865 - you never thought you would smile like this again, but here you are. and here he is, by your side.
october 1866 - the coming winter promises to be harsh and unrelenting.
trivia: december 1866 - some truths are easier expressed through ink.
january 1867 - the crown is far heavier than the weight of its gold.
interlude: february 1867 - he is king -- whether or not he wants to be.
march 1867 - she is beautiful in ways you could never be.
may 1867 - how much can you allow yourself to want?
may 1869 {m} - just this once, you let yourself be a little braver.
june 1869 {m} - you’ve never been able to hide from him.
july 1869 - does some part of him still remember the smiles you once shared?
august 1869 - too much (or just enough?) is exposed in the sunlight.
trivia: september 1869 - a small happiness.
october 1869 - have you been mistaken all along?
november 1869 - to remember what has been lost; to protect what still remains.
december 1869 - the aftermath: quiet, laced with a raw truth.
january 1870 - what can you do? what power do you have?
february 1870 - the throne demands so much. is the king prepared to give?
march 1870 - the coming of spring ushers in so much.
interlude: april 1870 - how much does he really know?
trivia: june 1870 - a hastily scribbled letter the sender wishes he did not have to write.
july 1870 - and yet-- it is not the same. he is not the same.
interlude: july 1867 - to be in power is to protect.
september 1870 {m} - this precious night, lit by lamplight is, at least, enough.
winter 1870-1871 - time continues to slip on -- blissfully, mercilessly, endlessly.
june 1871 - how cruel fire is. how it consumes indiscriminately and leaves only ashes in its wake.
summer 1871 - not you. not you. not you.
october 1871 - is it truly better to have loved and lost?
november 1871 - how do you even begin to navigate this new world?
december 1871 - snowflakes drift down to earth, falling apart little by little.
interlude: january 1872 - where there is hope, there is a trial.
august 1867 - memories surface when you need them most.
february 1872 - you cannot swim for new horizons until you have courage to lose sight of the shore.
final chapter/epilogue - may you trust in the strength of your own heart. may your trials end in fullest bloom.
minis: july 1874 - time goes on, and so does your love stretch and grow alongside it.
minis: december 1872 - shouldn’t we all have the chance to be happy?
miss rain I don’t know if I sent you past messages congratulating you on getting married, I always tell myself I have but then I’m not sure if I’m just making up that piece of my memory (lmao 😭🤣) but congratulations on being married for almost a year!! do you think you’ll have anything planned for your anniversary??
I’m still looking for a job 😭 I feel like anywhere I apply I’m just expecting to get rejected anyway, I’ve been trying to reach out to more people because I heard a lot of people got their jobs that way but part of me feels so selfish to just make connections to get something in return, I also tried freelancing and had a client from hell so I’m not sure what to do anymore, I feel like everything I try it falls through but I’m trying to have more faith. I’m also holding out hope because a tarot reader said things will be shifting around this time (😭🙏)
how is your work going?? im just imagining you being iconic like elle woods in the court room. do you get to do things more independently or is there a long training period? anyway, i hope you’re doing well!!
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HELLO omg i am SO sorry. i read all of your messages and really really treasured them 🥺🥺🥺 i've just spent so much time away from my personal computer and i dont like to respond to my asks on my phone bc i can never say all i want to say. then by the time i get on my computer i forget and then it's too late and i feel guilty and asflkjasdfkljasfd. IM SO SORRY!!!! thank you so much for still being here 🥺
i dont think we have anything planned for anniversary... LOL. probably just dinner somewhere nice hahah. we usually just buy each other a big gift once a year and i think i will get my husband to buy me a new fitness watch i've been eyeing 👀👀👀
omg the job market is SO hard right now so its definitely not you!!! im so sorry that you're going thru this and im sending you good vibes to help you find your job!!! ✨✨ don't feel selfish about making connections!! honestly as long as you're being genuine with them and getting to know them its ok!!!!! i believe in you 💗
work is crazzyyyyy sometimes i have such bad imposter syndrome because im like--are ppl really trusting me with sorting out their lives??? wild. also sometimes its too much because im dealing with all these emotions and conflict. but im trying my best to take it one step at a time and figure things out... we have to article for 1 year after we graduate and that's our training! i passed the bar though 👉🏻👈🏻 so i'll be hopefully a full lawyer in 4 months! i also had my first in-person court appearance recently so i did feel like elle woods in my matching suit LOL
ah im not sure how much i can share (the nda scares me) but i’m basically an editor at a consulting firm!!!
it’s been fun, we had two weeks of full on training and then two weeks of real work now. it’s all online so it’s just wfh, though it’s a us based company so i’m on the night shift pretty much lol it’s pretty nice to still have sunlight by the time my shift ends, so i can actually still go out and see friends hahaha
most of management are pretty young, like 20s-30s (whole team p much lol) so we all vibe with each other! also they take work life balance seriously, and i’ve been told to never work outside hours because i need to rest and recharge🙂↕️ i lucked out with my coworkers fr😭 i’m the youngest in the team so everyone always reassures me that i’m doing well🥲
since i have adult money, i’m looking into finally going to a psychiatrist since i can afford it now HAHAHAJJSKFLF but my manager has been giving me lots of good advice about it too so i def feel less scared!!
HOW ARE YOU!!! HOW HAS TRAINING BEEN!!!!!!! i missed you so much😭 i was always wondering how you were doing and if you’ve been doing well🥹 i’m so happy to hear that you’ve been finding your work fulfilling (though tiring)😭
it’s crazy to think about how much time has passed since i first found your blog🥲 it was the summer before i started college, and now look at us now🥹🥹🥹
(also how is married life if you don’t mind sharing!! is it fun??)
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omgggg wait thats an amazing job!!!! im so glad youre having a good time so far ✨✨ yes pls protect ur worklife balance.... im still working on that myself but its kinda impossible to do fully in the law as a baby lawyer!!
YES ENJOY THAT ADULT MONEYYYYY. you deserve it!!!!
im doing okay!!!! some family emergencies and my cats are going thru some medical stuff as well BUT overalll things are great and im living my best life. its actually crazy that ive wanted to be a lawyer since i was 10 yrs old and its FINALLY HAPPENING??? afdkjlasdf i cant believe i give ppl legal advice?? i went to court for the first time in person in my lil suit a few weeks ago???? wild!!!
omg yessssss YOU'VE GROWN UP hahaha and so have i 🥺🥺🥺 im so proud of u!!!!
married life is mostly the same tbh LOL since we were together for almost 9 years before we were married! and living together for like 3. but we're in our own place now which is amazing 🥰 im having a great time every day!!! esp since we got our two lil baby cats 💗💗💗
IM EMPLOYEDDDDD i just reached my first month at work, it’s so crazy hahaha -🌿
BABYYYYYYY CONGRATULATIONSSSSS ❤️❤️❤️❤️ where are u working now?? how are u finding it besides crazy?? i hope ur doing so well 🥹
im in my last few months of training before i can fully !! become a lawyer 😭😭😭 im so exhausted every day but learning so much! fulfilled but drained at the same time!!! (thats also why ive ghosted tumblr omg im so sorry 😭)
something about yoongi’s intro in like animals reminds me of bloom 💭 . . . . 💭
BLOOM MENTIONED IN 2026?? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 thank you!!!!!
omg yesss i rly love yoongi's intro and like animals is one of my faves off arirang 🫶 he just suits shadow motifs so well 😭 i was literally listening to his interlude over and over today too.
Worldwide Handsome signing off his live after his historic performance as the first Korean soloist to headline a solo concert at London’s O2 Arena (250805)
Omg ms rain I haven’t been on tumblr for a hot minute but had to come back to check on your blog, how are you?!?! I hope you’re doing well and honestly if we could go to a cute cafe someday that would actually be so magical ✨
I just left my hospitality job recently and I’m taking some time to get into my industry (animation), I’m trying not to stress too much but I’m sure the dread of not having money will eventually catch up to me 🥲
How are things going on with you?
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sweet 🦒 anon!!! im doing well... I GOT MARRIED! so i can finally fucking stop wedding planning LOL it was a magical day but the days leading up to it were soooo stressful asdfkljasfdlkj i would never do it again hahaha. but im really happy and doing well :) i start my new job in a few months too, and its a dream position, so im excited!!!
hows your job hunt going? animation is SO cool!! fingers crossed for you that you find the perfect position 💓 (i know nothing about the industry so forgive me idk how hard it is to get in 👉👈)
i just wanted to let you know i'm absolutely in love with your writing.
recently came across TES and LOOOOOOVED the way you wrote mentally unstable, enemy yoongi who does horrible things and turned him into cute, whipped yoongi who will let oc do whatever she wants.
reread TES twice already bc i cant get enough of it
also, love love love MLT yoongi holy shit
the way you write character development, chefs. fucking. kiss.
you are such a genuine inspiration for me and i wanted you to know that
yayayay hope youre taking care of yourself and hope you see thisss!!
aweee thank u!! im glad you enjoyed TES and MLT!! yes, my hidden Yoongi bias rears its head.... LOL it means a lot to me that you enjoyed the character development bc that had to be the hardest part of the entire thing. character is so much trickier than like scenery 🤣 take care as well!!!
okay omg i feel like i MUST share this with you, BUT GUESS WHO FINALLY GRADUATED LAST WEEK!!!! tried to surprise my parents with my latin honors but they got spoiled bc of the seating arrangements in the hall lmao😭😭 got a bit busy after but huhuhu i can’t believe i’m now officially Unemployed… the world is now my oyster💪💪 (i say, as i try not to have a breakdown at the thought of applying to jobs lol)
also allow me to be shady here lol but last semester, my pre-thesis adviser straight up told me that she didn’t think i could finish my thesis on time (in one sem) while i was asking for help and advice because i felt so lost,,, AND SHE SAID IT IN FRONT OF MY OTHER CLASSMATES TOO,,,,,,, it was such a cruel thing to say to someone and i shit you not, i finished my novella AND critical essay in one sem because she pissed me off SO MUCH!!!! anyways. IN YOUR FACE [redacted]!!!!! guess who finished her fucking thesis in one sem!!!!!!!! god bless my actual thesis adviser who helped me so much🙏
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omgggg CONGRATULATIONSSSSS IM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!! take a well-deserved break before you go back into job apps hahaha its so soul crushing on its own.... but LOOK AT YOUR HONOURS AHHHH 👏👏👏👏👏👏🎉🎉🎉🎉 YOU DID IT!!!!!
omg screw that advisor!! who says that in public !!! some ppl are really not meant to be educators but they do it anyway lol. but im glad it powered u thru this time !!!!!! you go!!!!!
what kind of job do you want now?? this is so exciting 🎉👏👏
LOLOLOL it’s so funny bc ur post did summon me back😭😭 i think i’ve got a sixth sense for when u post tbh, every now and then i get the urge to check ur acc for funsies and lo and behold, u’ve posted smth new within the past 24 hrs😭😭😭 i got that feeling again the other day and when i checked, u posted The Thing HAHAHSJLF
also i believe u when u say the wedding industry is predatory, like i used to be fixated on researching wedding stuff for no reason and when i tell u i was gagged by how expensive everything is???? it’s so crazy😭
if ur ever comfy sharing it here, i would so love to read ur poetry chapbook🥹🥹🥹 i actually had my last poetry class (last undergrad class Ever actually) the other day and it was such a lovely time!! my professor had us all just write for fun for like an hour (she even brought art supplies for us if we wanted to draw stuff lol), then she let us all take home a book from her collection at the end of it🥹
AHHHH it’s a shame u didn’t get into it as well, but u know what, u saved urself🤣🤣 the amount of money i’ve spent on that game is CRIMINAL😭😭 i’ve put myself on a ban—i’m not allowed to spend anything more on that game (except the monthly pass lol). the main story update this monday truly gagged me, i’m telling you sylus looked SO GOOD…. i was frothing at the mouth… gnawing at the iron bars of my enclosure, if u will………
man i can’t believe i’m graduating soon😭😭😭 time flies so fast, it’s so crazy😭
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omg LMAOO i love this connection b etween us 🥰🥰🥰🥰
yes oh my GOD i hate all the stupid capitalist stuff around it but it is so hard not to fall into those pits... like bridesmaids boxes... they're a cute concept but also like unless you're actually splurging to buy like nice jewelry or actually nice robes or whatever, most of the stuff you give are just little trinkets that won't be used again (ESP if they say stuff like "bridesmaid"). its soooo wasteful. afsdkljsadf but the greatest lesson i can impart is that if you want to have a wedding... get a full planner.... save yourself.... 😭😭😭
awwe i dont really want to link my real name to this account just for anonymity reasons sorry!!!! 😭 but i am happy to figure out some sort of other way to connect with you (and only u 🥺) whenever it gets pubbed (if it does, lol). omg that sounds like so much fun!! i love poetry profs... they are the best people
LMAO omg how much did you spend????? sylus DOES look so good ugh his CN voice is just 🔥🔥🔥
huge congrats on graduation <3 <3 <3 hope only brighter things are on the horizon for you from here on out!!!!!
HI BABYYYY i havent checked here in a hot minute, but i’m currently finishing the revisions on my novella!! this is literally my last month in uni and im drowning w thesis work omg but im having so much fun with my current poetry class, i love my prof so much🥹 im starting think maybe im not as bad at poetry as i thought i was, since im doing super well w free verse and prose poetry!!!
how are you?? i’ve actually been thinking about you recently since i was wondering how your wedding planning was going🙂↕️🙂↕️ that, and if you ever got into love and deepspace🤣 i’m a sylus girlie now😵💫
miss you so much babes!!!
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BAAAABE omg congratulations!!!! YOU'RE SO CLOSE TO THE END ahhhhhh!!!! i hope you get a long rest after you're done. any vacation plans???? 👀👀👀 pls i know you're killing it with poetry 💗
wedding planning is heating up and it is so freakin busy afd;lkas i just want to run away from it alllll. so many moving parts and so many little things and its ALL SO EXPENSIVE... our starting budget was way too low and it has literally doubled. our guest list also grew by like 35%. its all crazy fadlkjsadflkj but its almost ... done ... i will finally be married .... people keep saying theyre sad they will never be a bride again but i am... looking forward to it .... this industry is so crazy predatory!!!!
but other than that im working on a poetry chapbook thats almost ready to submit i think!! im really excited about this even tho theres definitely still a lot of editing to go, and some more writing to be done. but close!
i didnt get into love and deepspace.... i held myself back.... even tho im still watching some clips on yt every now and then. SYLUS IS SO HOTTTTTT. but i just hit 1100 days on nu carnival .. i cant give up my babies on that game and ik i dont have the energy for two gachas 😭
