untitled

[hoewrld33]

first night in LA and I felt my first fake tits like they're gorgeous but feel kinda weird

[hoewrld33]

I'm feeling very sad and fragile sorry Abt it

[hoewrld33]

i watched this video today and oh my did it make me think it was just so sad bc if we're being real just bc of how sex is talked Abt and how men are told that women (fems) don't initiate sex bc they're too polite or whatever most men are up to some consensually ify shit like we all know I'm a slut but if I were to count the amount of encounters I've had that weren't consensually ify I'd have fucked like 5 ppl fr

it just sucks because I feel like I'm not supposed to classify the encounters like yk assault bc it's not cut and dry like I fucked them and I didn't say no and shit but if I only fucked them bc it's the quickest way out of a situation mmmm I don't think that's consent

that's why I feel like as an afab person I'm never gonna be like this fucking sexually liberated slut or whatever bc 1. I fuck so I don't notice how balls I feel 2. i will never ever ever have the power in the situation 3. the man in the situation always has more gains more from the situation

like the few times where someone did something normal and bare minimum like making sure I was sober enough to consent or listening to me when I set a boundary and I was surprised makes me sad

[hoewrld33]

I'm having a crisis idk I don't think I've ever been stylish I think I wear things with delusion so they work but I'm out of delusion

[hoewrld33]

i figured it out I'm honestly just scared because I'm attractive in certain circles in Portland but in LA (where I'm going on a trip in a couple days) I don't think ill have that sauce

in the moments I've had in Portland where I wasn't in attractive circles I felt so buns so hard I don't care it's not vain to have ur ego tied to how society is treating u ik!! I'm a genius you don't gotta say it

[hoewrld33]

I'm having a crisis idk I don't think I've ever been stylish I think I wear things with delusion so they work but I'm out of delusion

[hoewrld33]

I don't think I get Jeff buckley like his song just make me giggle like how am.i supposed to take lines like "we walked around till the moon got full like a plate" and " and I never stepped on cracks cuz I thought it'd hurt my mother" seriously they're just silly

[hoewrld33]

indo not fuck with Ryan today

[girlboss-diaries]

what did he do

he was like i feel like I'm acting too silly and he was self conscious

[hoewrld33]

I'm just a mean person with anger in they heart

[hoewrld33]

just realized you can totally see my tits through the window at night and I'm naked all the time

[hoewrld33]

indo not fuck with Ryan today

[hoewrld33]

hookup left and now I'm watching flea bag I'm not a real person

[hoewrld33]

I'm at a toms ass breakfast joint and it's so funny to be getting breakfast with a bunch of lit 40-50 somethings at noon im kinda eating up the vibes

[hoewrld33]

:( asf

[hoewrld33]

everyone knows I'm a slut but no one knows I'm sad and get attached sometimes

[hoewrld33]

i feel rejected

[hoewrld33]

i can't keep saying I'm not into cis men if I keep doing this bullshit (I had fun but stop it citrus) it's like I'm not not attracted to men I just get uncomfy bc no matter how woke they are they make me feel dysphoric like as soon as we start boning they're like I'm the boy and your the girl and like that can be fun if it's with a nudge and a wink but it's just that thats what I think they rlly want whether they want to admit it or not and I just wanna be seen as a attractive and I wanna be a adored because I'm so deeply insecure and i have some deeply internalized feels of not being shit but it's like a whole big bag of buns if the only way I seem to think I can be seen as attractive is by being a girl

[hoewrld33]

I WANT TO BE NORMAL sometimes I wish I was a bi cis girly life would be so much less complicated

[hoewrld33]

i can't keep saying I'm not into cis men if I keep doing this bullshit (I had fun but stop it citrus) it's like I'm not not attracted to men I just get uncomfy bc no matter how woke they are they make me feel dysphoric like as soon as we start boning they're like I'm the boy and your the girl and like that can be fun if it's with a nudge and a wink but it's just that thats what I think they rlly want whether they want to admit it or not and I just wanna be seen as a attractive and I wanna be a adored because I'm so deeply insecure and i have some deeply internalized feels of not being shit but it's like a whole big bag of buns if the only way I seem to think I can be seen as attractive is by being a girl

[hoewrld33]

I'm so tired and my eye is swollen so I feel chopped and I don't know how ppl r doing it

how r ppl young and turnt when I'm tired and grumpy majority of the time