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[said with increasing amount of distress] i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this i got this
Summary: After Susannah’s dedication, tensions boil over when Belly announces her engagement to Jeremiah. Feeling overwhelmed by everything unraveling around you, you drive, not knowing what the storm that lay ahead has in store.
Part 1, Part 2
Author's Note: This is a safe space for all Jeremiah haters <3
*Contains S3 Spoilers*
You couldn’t tell if Belly was more upset that you weren’t on her side, or that you hadn’t picked one at all.
Days had passed since you’d come back to Cousins. In theory, the house was supposed to be a refuge, a place where everything settled. But lately, it felt more like a war zone with white walls and summer air freshener. Tension crackled in every room. Every conversation seemed to carry hidden meaning. And at the center of it all was your sister - bright-eyed, stubborn, engaged - still waiting for you to say something, anything.
But you hadn’t. You didn’t tell her congratulations. You didn’t tell her she was being reckless. You didn’t tell her you were happy or devastated or even confused. You just stayed quiet. Neutral.
And Belly hated you for it.
You felt it in the clipped way she passed you in the hallway, in the way her questions had sharp edges now, how she rolled her eyes like she couldn’t even look at you without feeling disappointed. But it wasn’t your job to validate a decision you didn’t understand. You were too busy trying to figure out your own life - how you were going to pay for school, where you were going to live in the fall, how you were going to fix the mess your own world had become.
The last thing you expected was for Conrad to throw himself into the chaos. But maybe you should’ve seen it coming.
It was a casual offer at first, just a passing suggestion while everyone was milling around the kitchen. Belly had asked someone to go shopping with her, some last-minute wedding errands Jere was supposed to be helping with. You were half-listening, expecting her to huff and leave solo, when Conrad, out of nowhere, said, “Yeah, I can come with you.”
You didn’t say anything. You just blinked at your coffee, heart thudding.
Maybe it shouldn’t have bothered you. It wasn’t like the two of you were together. Not really. Not at all. But the thought of them alone - wedding dresses, registries, bouquets - was like swallowing something sharp.
You buried yourself in work to keep from spiraling. Bills, spreadsheets, loan applications. Anything to distract yourself from the slow-burning jealousy inching up your spine. You didn’t have a right to feel this way. You reminded yourself of that over and over, even as the sun dragged across the sky and your phone stayed silent.
You thought you’d be prepared when the front door finally opened.
You weren’t.
Your head jerked up, expecting to see them, Belly and Conrad, maybe laughing about something they used to do together, some old inside joke you wouldn’t be part of. But it wasn’t them.
It was Jeremiah.
He looked exhausted, shoulders tense, arms full of bags and work folders, like he’d just come from the longest day imaginable. He paused when he saw you at the kitchen table.
“Hey,” you said cautiously. “Belly’s not with you?”
He blinked at you, confused. “She said she’d meet me after work.”
You hesitated. “She already left. With Conrad.”
Jeremiah went still. His jaw tightened just slightly. “Oh.”
He didn’t say anything else, just dropped his bags by the door with a little more force than necessary and walked straight to the cabinet. He pulled down a bottle of wine and grabbed two glasses.
“Work’s been hell,” he muttered. “Let’s just… take a break. Celebrate the holiday weekend.”
You could’ve said no. You probably should’ve. But you didn’t.
He poured a generous serving and handed it to you.
One glass turned into two. Two into three.
Before long, the sun had begun to dip below the horizon, casting golden shadows across the living room. You and Jeremiah sat on the couch, shoulders touching now, the wine softening the hard edges of the day. You laughed about stupid things from your childhood, old parties, awkward teenage memories. It felt easy for the first time in weeks. Light. Familiar.
You’d always been close with Jeremiah, in that affectionate, orbiting kind of way. He was warmth, always had been. You never saw him as yours. How could you? When Belly had always been the one his eyes followed across a room.
But tonight, something felt different.
He sighed after one story, rubbing his hands over his face. “Do you ever wish we could go back?”
You tilted your head. “Back to when?”
“Back to when it was just summers,” he said. “Before we all had to grow up. Before everything got messy.”
You gave a small nod. “Yeah. Sometimes.”
His gaze shifted to you, more focused now, the edges of his smile fading. “You were always the one who saw me. Not for who I was supposed to be. Just me.”
You stiffened.
“Jere…”
He kept going. “I’ve been thinking about the wedding. About everything. About you...”
He leaned in slightly. His knee was pressed fully against yours now.
You could feel the hair raise on the back of your neck.
“I think I’ve been trying to pretend I didn’t feel this for a long time,” he said. “But I do. I really do.”
“Jeremiah,” you said again, firmer this time. “You're drunk.”
But he wasn’t listening. His hand reached for your thigh, fingers trailing up, warm and familiar and completely wrong.
You pulled back. “Stop. I’m serious.”
He didn’t. His hand slid higher.
Your brain went blank. Your ears started to ring. You couldn’t move.
You hadn't heard the front door open.
It all happened in a blur. One moment, Jeremiah was next to you. The next, Conrad had crossed the room in a single breath, grabbing him by the collar and hurling him backwards so violently he slammed into the wall. The hanging photos seemed to rattle.
Jeremiah didn’t fight. He barely spoke.
Conrad’s voice was cold. Controlled. “Belly’s outside. She needs help unloading the car.”
The message was clear. A warning disguised as a command.
Jeremiah didn’t argue. He adjusted his shirt and walked out without another word.
The silence that followed was deafening.
You couldn’t breathe.
Conrad turned to you. “Y/N-”
“Don’t.”
It came out harsh, too loud, too raw. But you couldn’t help it.
You stood quickly, blood rushing in your ears, and bolted up the stairs before he could say anything else.
Once in your room, you slammed the door and leaned against it, shaking.
You didn’t know what had just happened. You didn’t know if you should cry, or scream, or throw something. Your mind was running in circles.
Was Jeremiah serious? Would Conrad tell Belly? Should you?
Your heart was pounding for a dozen different reasons, none of which made any sense.
Outside, fireworks had started. Loud bursts of red and gold exploded against the night sky. You watched them through your window, detached and dazed. They felt like they belonged to someone else’s summer.
Your phone buzzed once on your nightstand.
It was a message.
Conrad
Are you okay?
And just like that, something inside you cracked open.
Because you didn’t know how to answer that. You weren’t okay - not really - but the fact that he asked, that he reached out at all, made your chest ache in a different kind of way.
The fireworks lit up your ceiling in flashes of color as you stared at the screen, his words echoing in your head.
And for the first time in days, you let yourself feel everything.
Hi queen, when will the next chapter of Bitter Pill be out?
Hello dearest!!
I'm so sorry on the delay you have no idea 🙈 I've got what are probably the 2 most critical exams of my life coming up in 2 weeks so I've been completely AWOL offline trying to study. Buuuuttt I'm really excited to get back writing once I finish those wretched exams!! I've got a good chunk of the next chapter already written so once I'm finished my exams, it shouldn't take long to get it out there 💗
A/N: Not even 500 words but I had this little idea pop in my head the other day so I had to write it down. Dick being an awkward cutie pie, that's all. PSA: don't let people call you names you aren't comfortable with!
Sweetheart
“Thank you, sweetheart”
The words slipped from Dick’s mouth without second thought. It was as natural as breathing, as normal as the sound of artillery fire those days. Still, he froze a moment later, realizing exactly who he had just spoken to.
You stood next to him, double checking the file in your hands, filled with reports of the injured men you had been treating far from the front lines. Your visits were becoming more and more frequent, something Dick did not like to linger on. It was becoming routine these days; you'd bring medical reports needing his signature, just waiting for his approval. Every visit was nearly identical. Always the same few words:
“Here are the reports, Major”
“Thank you”
But this time he called you sweetheart, like an idiot-
“I’m sorry- that is- you- you’re-” he immediately stammered, turning as red as his hair.
He was just tired, that was it. Tired, sore, his head pounding from a near constant headache. He knew better. You were a professional, he was a professional- he wasn’t like some of the other men in the unit that couldn’t handle a conversation with a woman without slipping in some sort of pet name- no, Major Richard Winters would never- no matter how pretty he thought you were-
He floundered so badly he didn’t notice that you were watching him closely, a bemused look on your face.
“Major?”
His mouth clamped shut at the sound of your voice. He was almost too nervous to meet your gaze, but he had to, he had to apologize-
“I… I don’t know what you’re apologizing for” you said with a quiet laugh.
“What? I- ah-” Dick began awkwardly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jacket.
“I didn’t mean to… to call you ‘sweetheart’, I’m sorry, I know you’re a nurse-” he finally blurted out.
“Oh” you laughed, the sound instantly relieving him.
“You know how many men call me… well, all sorts of things honestly. I’ve heard it all, it’s really- I promise, it's nothing new-” you said, shrugging your shoulders slightly.
“No, you shouldn’t be treated like that-” he cut you off, his brow furrowing.
“Major” you interrupted, gently touching his arm. “Honestly. If there’s anyone here that I really don’t mind calling me ‘sweetheart’, it’s you”.
Dick froze again, feeling your hand slide from his arm. He hadn’t been expecting that. A thick silence filled the tent, quiet despite the action around them. Men were coming and going, Speirs was barking orders somewhere in the distance, trucks were being loaded and unloaded. All of it was blocked out when Dick looked at you.
He straightened up slowly after a moment, and then accepted the file from you. He tapped the folder against his free hand.
“Alright then” he said quietly.
You sent him a small smile before turning to leave, stopping when you reached the edge. You stopped and looked back at him.
“I’ll see you around, Major”
Dick paused, tapping the file once more against his palm.
Hell was not some fiery burning pit. Hell was the frigid void of the Bois Jacques forest outside Bastogne.
Valerie had thought that Veghal was the most awful thing she'd ever experienced, but it didn't hold a candle to the misery of Bois Jacques. They'd been dumped there with no winter gear to speak of, barely any ammunition, and no hope of resupply. The circumstances had quickly started to chip away at morale and, though Valerie did her best to keep it at bay, she could see the signs of combat fatigue starting to take root in some of the guys.
"Hey, Lieb, how are you doin' here?"
"Oh, just peachy," Liebgott snarked, a dark look on his face. "Having the time of my goddamn life."
"I know it's shit, but hang in there. We'll get some support soon," Valerie sighed, clapping him on the shoulder before moving on to check in on the next foxhole. As she continued her rounds, her eyes kept drifting to Liebgott. Everyone was pretty down and out, but it seemed to be hitting him harder than most.
"Hey, Lip. You got a minute?" Valerie called to Lipton as she passed him making his own rounds. She led him to a quieter spot behind the line before turning to him with a worried frown.
"Do you notice anythin' off about Lieb?" She asked, crossing her arms.
"Yeah," Lipton admitted, shoving his hands into his pockets. "He seems a little more on edge than most. Don't suppose there's any use mentioning it to Dike, see if he could do anything about it?"
"Yeah, right," Valerie scoffed, rolling her eyes. "You're more likely to see a grizzly bear runnin' through those trees than to see Dike out here doin' somethin' actually useful."
The corner of Lipton's lips twitched up in a slight smile, but he didn't respond. Lieutenant Dike was a touchy subject, one which Lipton rarely gave his opinion on, but she knew he felt the same as she did with regards to their phantom CO.
"I'll mention it to Dick, see if he can think of anythin'," Valerie continued. Her eyes scanned over the line until they landed on Gene, his back against a tree. He had a spaced-out look on his face, and Valerie's heart ached at the sight of it.
"Worth a shot," Lipton agreed with a shrug, glancing off into the treeline. He was taking this hard too, Valerie could tell, but he was holding himself together so he could be there for the men. In return, Valerie was trying her best to be there for him.
"I'll check in with you later, Lip, and let you know what Dick says," she assured, clapping him on the shoulder before making her way over to Gene.
"You okay, chouchou?" She asked gently as she stopped in front of him. He peered up at her blankly, and her heart hurt to see the lifelessness in his eyes. Gene had always been so joyful and vibrant, it terrified her to see him so disheartened.
"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied flatly.
"Don't lie to me, chouchou," Valerie chided him, taking his hands in hers and squeezing reassuringly. "I'm here, so talk to me."
"I'm fine, I promise," he insisted, giving her a weak smile that didn't reach his eyes. "No need for you to be worryin' about me, chérie."
She didn't believe him, not for a second, but if he wasn't willing to talk then she couldn't force him to. All she could do was be present and reassure him she had his back. He'd talk when he was ready, she knew that. "I'm goin' to talk to Dick. You need me to ask him for anythin'?"
"I just came from there," he said, shaking his head. "I need to do rounds and look for scissors and morphine."
He pulled his hands from Valerie's grasp and ambled off through the foxholes. Valerie watched him go with a heavy heart. Gene had always been there for her when she'd needed him, and now that he needed her, she was useless to him. She couldn't get him the supplies he and Spina desperately needed, and she couldn't stop people from getting wounded.
With her shoulders hunched, Valerie made her way to battalion CP.
"Hey, Dick," she called out as she approached, spotting him sitting at the edge of his foxhole. He turned towards her with a small smile as she plonked herself down beside him.
"How's it going, Val?" He asked, bundling his jacket tighter around him. "Everything alright on the line?"
"For the most part," she sighed. "I'm just worried about Liebgott. I know everyone's on edge, but he seems to be more edgy than most. Lip noticed it too."
"Why don't you send him back here for a few days to be my runner," Dick suggested. "A few days away from the front might do him some good."
Valerie smiled gratefully in return, a little bit of the tension she'd been carrying easing from her body. In that moment she missed his calm, reassuring presence in Easy more than ever. He always knew the right move to make and the right thing to say to reassure everyone. In a time like this he was exactly the man they needed. Instead, they were stuck with Foxhole Norman, who spent more time with his buddies at regiment than he did with his actual company.
"Thanks, Dick. I think that might just do the trick."
"If you see anyone else you think might need a break, send them my way," he instructed. "Combat fatigue could spread like wildfire in a place like this."
"Yeah," Valerie snorted ruefully. "Might have something to do with the fact that we're all cold, miserable, and under-armed. It's pretty hard to not be sick of it all at this point."
Dick surveyed her for a moment, a concerned frown marring his brow. Valerie squirmed slightly under his scrutiny, nervous bubbles rising in her chest.
"Are you doing okay, Val?" He asked gently, twisting himself to face her more fully. "You've been running yourself ragged..."
"I'm fine," she interrupted, shaking her head. "I'm just doin' my job."
"I know things aren't great right now with Dike," he persisted, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning closer to her. "It's perfectly understandable if you need a break too."
"I don't need a break," Valerie insisted vehemently, standing up and brushing off her pants. "I'm perfectly fine. In fact, I need to get back to the front."
She didn't give him a chance to respond, just squeezed his shoulder reassuringly before making her way back through the trees.
~~~~
"Babe tried his best to get to him, but... well, we had to leave him. "
"You did your best, Johnny, that's all you can do."
Valerie clapped Martin on the shoulder before turning to the others with a sigh. They had settled quietly around the edge of a large foxhole, each one looking more dejected than the next. Dick had perched himself in the middle of them, chatting amongst them and taking a cup of coffee from Luz gratefully.
Valerie's eyes shifted to Gene, who was sitting slightly to the side and wearing a frustrated frown. She approached him with quiet steps and settled down beside him, her brows furrowed with worry. He didn't look up at her, focusing intently on the bar of chocolate he was fiddling with.
"Where did you find that?" Valerie asked him gently, leaning her shoulder against his.
"A nurse in town gave it to me," Gene murmured, running his thumb across the foil of the chocolate bar. "Her name's Renée. I met her at the aid station."
"That was mighty kind of her," she commented. "Especially considerin' how few and far between treats are out here."
"Yeah, she's... she's lovely."
Valerie observed Gene with careful eyes, noting the defeated sag of his shoulders and the way he was avoiding her gaze. He continued to run his thumb over the chocolate wrapper rhythmically, and she reached out to grab his hand and stop him.
"Chouchou, please," she begged, her brows furrowed with worry. "I can see you're not okay. Please just talk to me."
"And say what?" He snapped, finally turning to look at her. "What do you expect me to say? That I'm struggling, is that it? Well, I am, alright? Of course I'm strugglin', but that doesn't make me special. Everyone out here is strugglin'. "
Without another word he stood and stalked off through the trees. Valerie watched him go with a sad sigh, her chest constricting painfully. Gene rarely lost his temper, so the fact that he had gotten snappy with her indicated just how out of sorts he truly was.
"Is Doc okay?" Buck asked, taking a seat beside Valerie with a heavy huff. "I know he's always been pretty quiet, but he seems quieter than usual."
"He's... he's doin' his best," Valerie replied sadly. "I think he's guardin' himself as a way to cope with it all. Can't really blame him for that, all things considered."
"Yeah," Buck agreed with a nod, a haunted look flashing across his face. "All the same, we need to keep a close eye on him and Spina to make sure they're coping."
"They'd be copin' a helluva lot better if we could get some supplies and stop people from dyin'," Valerie grumbled, leaning her elbows on her knees. "How many more goddamn days do they expect us to hold the line like this, huh? Any other unit would've hightailed it out of here by now."
"Ah, but we're not just any other unit," he quipped humorlessly. "We're Easy Company, the toughest of the tough."
"Indeed we are," she cheered sardonically. "Aren't we the lucky few?"
~~~~
"My Grandma was a traiteurs. She'd lay her hands on people and cure 'em. She used to pray a lot, had to talk to God about all the pain she'd pulled out."
Valerie smiled as she approached the edge of Heffron's foxhole and heard Gene talking about his grandma. She had been lucky to meet her a few times after she moved in with the Roes, and she'd always found her presence incredibly soothing. She crouched down beside the edge of the foxhole and lifted the tarp gently.
"How are you boys doin' in here?" Valerie asked quietly. She smiled softly when she noticed Heffron tucked in between the two medics, sleeping soundly.
"We're alright, Val," Spina assured with a small smile. "Just thought we'd better keep Babe company. He was pretty shook up after what happened to Julian."
"Yeah, good idea to keep an eye on him and make sure he sleeps. How about you, Gene? Are you all good?"
"I'm all good, chèrie," he replied quietly, refusing to meet her eyes.
Valerie's heart ached for him. Here he was suffering, her brother in all but blood, and she couldn't do a thing about it. She wanted to say more, but after the way he'd stormed off earlier in the day, she thought it best to leave him be. Perhaps a good night's sleep in a warm foxhole would help him feel a little better.
"Alright then," she murmured, "I'll leave you boys to it. Try to get some sleep, ya hear?"
As she was closing the tarp back down over the foxhole, Gene reached up and grabbed her hand to stop her. She peered back in and found him looking up at her with remorseful eyes.
"I'm sorry about earlier, chérie," he whispered. "I shouldn't have snapped the way I did. I was angry that I wasn't there to save Julian, but I shouldn't have taken it out on you."
"No need to apologise, chouchou," she reassured him, a lump forming in her throat. "I just want you to be alright."
"I know," he sighed, "and I want the same for you."
"We're gonna get through this, you and me," Valerie swore, squeezing his hand tightly.
"From the Bayou to Berlin," he agreed, giving her a half smile.
~~~
"Remember when I said I'd rather be cold than wet? Yeah, that was a pile of shit."
Valerie laughed darkly as she passed Gordon and heard him grousing to anyone who would listen. He was right though, the rain and muck of Holland felt like a party compared to the bitter cold they found themselves in. Her laughter was short lived, though, as a hoard of German tanks broke through the treeline on their left flank.
"Hold your fire, boys," Lipton called as he ran along the line. "They're gonna try and draw you out, so hold your fire for now."
"Can't we get one goddamn day of peace? Couldn't even drink my coffee," Gordon complained.
"No such luck," Valerie groused, swinging her gun off her shoulder and into her hands. "Get ready, Gordon. They're comin' in fast."
Valerie turned to follow Lipton when a shot came through the treeline. Gordon stumbled, and Valerie realised that he'd been hit.
"Medic!" Valerie shouted as she ducked back to Gordon's foxhole. As she slid in beside him, his coffee spilled onto his lap.
"C'mon, Gordon," Valerie said as turned towards him. "Let's get you up and out of here!"
Gordon remained frozen to the spot, staring blankly into the distance. Alton More appeared at Gordon's side, and he and Valerie shared a worried glance.
"Let's get him up, More," Valerie instructed. More nodded his agreement and they grabbed him under the arms and hauled him over the lip of the foxhole.
"Somebody grab the plasma," Gene instructed as he slid in beside them and took control of the situation.
"Medic!"
Valerie's head snapped to the side as another cry for a medic pierced the air. Behind her, the tanks began to roll through the treeline in earnest, and she felt the ground shake under her knees.
"Gene, I can't feel my legs," Gordon cried, his eyes beginning to glaze. Valerie felt a pang of pity for him. She wanted to stay and try to soothe him, but she knew she was needed elsewhere.
"C'mon, More," she instructed, pushing herself up off the ground and grasping her rifle. "Get back on the machine gun."
More got up without complaint and slid into his foxhole, quickly swinging the machine gun around and opening fire.
"Machine guns, open fire!" Valerie instructed as she weaved down the line, ducking and dodging the bullets flying towards her.
"Suppressing fire," Lipton called, making his way back along the line in her direction.
"Lip, Gene is gonna need a hand pulling Gordon behind the line," Valerie said quickly. "Make sure they get back, and call for a jeep to take him into town."
"Will do, Val," Lipton replied before making his way to Gene's side.
Another bullet whizzed past Valerie's ear, and she quickly ducked down and jogged further down the line.
"Keep it up," she instructed, shouting to be heard over the mayhem. "Suppressing fire!"
The barrage continued for what felt like a lifetime, but Valerie continued to run up and down the line, jumping into a foxhole and firing out at the tanks every chance she could get. By the end of it she was utterly exhausted, and she sagged heavily against the wall of her foxhole as she finally sat down to rest.
Gene came to find her after some time, wordlessly sliding into the foxhole beside her.
"Did Gordon make it?" Valerie asked, her voice croaking.
"Yeah," Gene murmured, picking at the flaking blood on his knuckles. "He made it to the aid station. He's paralysed, though. Seems the bullet went into his shoulder and through his spine."
"Oh God," she gasped, her throat constricting painfully. "Do you think he'll ever walk again?"
"Hard to say," he replied wearily. "We just gotta pray that he does."
"Yeah," she agreed, nodding absently. They exchanged no further words after that, both too tired and worn out to think of anything to say. Valerie shuffled down a little and leaned her head on Gene's shoulders. She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily, hoping that sleep would claim her quickly.
~~~
It was without doubt the worst Christmas Day Valerie had ever experienced in her life.
Sink did manage to pay them a visit to wish them a Merry Christmas, though she didn't appreciate the knowledge that the brass were eating a proper dinner up at division while they were stuck with bean soup. At least hearing that General McAuliffe had told the Germans "Nuts!" in response to their request for surrender had cheered the men up a bit.
Dick approached her as Sink drove off in his jeep, his brows furrowed. "I know Sink thinks he's helping morale," he started gravely, "but telling us they're eating a roast dinner up at division while we're eating beans doesn't exactly feel like a morale boost, does it?"
"Quite the opposite, in fact," Valerie snorted, rolling her eyes. "The only motivation it's given me is the urge to march up to division and give them a piece of my mind."
"I'm sure that'd be quite the scene," Dick smirked. "It's just such a pity General Taylor wouldn't be there to face your wrath."
"Oh, not a fan of the good general?" She teased. "I'm sure he's very busy drumming up support back home."
"That's a generous way of describing it," Dick scowled. "I'm sure he's taking as many pictures as he can with every important person he can find."
"Wow, don't hold back," she laughed, bumping her shoulder against his. "We need to get the press in here for the inside scoop on insubordination."
"It's not insubordination," he protested, his cheeks reddening despite the cold. "I just don't think he has the best interests of his soldiers at heart. He's more interested in making himself look good to the higher ups."
"Can't disagree with you there," she conceded. "I've never been his biggest fan to be quite honest."
Dick was quiet for a moment before leaning in closer to her ear and lowering his voice. "Obviously I would prefer if that opinion stayed between us."
"My lips are sealed," Valerie grinned, miming zipping her lips closed. Dick's eyes flitted to her lips briefly before he looked away and cleared his throat.
Valerie surveyed the men around them and smiled slightly to herself. It was undoubtedly the worst Christmas any of them had ever had, and yet, they were still managing to make the best of it. They sat together in little groups, sharing stories and cracking jokes. She spotted Heffron sitting down beside Gene and the weight in her chest lifted ever so slightly.
"Well, Happy Christmas, Val," Dick sighed, giving her a rueful smile.
"Merry Christmas, Dick," she responded. "Let's hope that the next one is a helluva lot more merry."
~~~
"Dammit, I can't take it anymore. I'm lighting a fire."
"Harry, you can't," Valerie warned quietly. "They'll see it and they'll zone in on us."
"We're in a dell, Val," Harry quipped, gathering small branches together and pulling out his lighter. "It's just for a few minutes, they won't even notice it."
Valerie wanted to argue with him, but the thought of feeling the warmth of a fire was a prospect too tempting to ignore. She watched on silently as Harry lit the small fire, and huddled in closer to it once it had begun to blaze.
"God, that's beautiful," Harry huffed, rubbing his hands together almost gleefully. "If I close my eyes, I can pretend I'm home sitting by the fire with Kitty."
"Wouldn't that be nice," she muttered wistfully. "Safe at home with the person you love."
"You'll get that too, Val," said Harry kindly. "You're gonna get home, you and the man you love are gonna shack up in a nice house in some quiet corner of the world, and you're gonna be happy."
Her mind immediately went to Dick, and for a moment she indulged the fantasy of sharing a life with him after the war. She pictured early morning runs and quick breakfasts before heading out to work for the day. They'd cook dinner together when they got home, before settling onto the couch for the night. Perhaps they'd put on the record player and dance to Glenn Miller. It was a perfect and idyllic fantasy, and her chest tightened painfully at the thought of it all.
"I'm guessing by the look on your face that you have someone in mind," Harry observed, giving her a shrewd look from across the flames. She averted her gaze to the flickering fire, pointedly avoiding his questioning look. The last thing she needed was Harry knowing her true feelings for Dick. He'd tease her mercilessly for it.
"It doesn't matter," Valerie replied evasively. Mercifully, Harry decided not to pry any further, and dropped the subject. They sat together in silence for a while, both staring into the flames and enjoying the simple luxury of heat.
"Please tell me that's not a fire I'm seeing," Dick scolded as he approached them. "No fires, remember? They'll use it to tag our location."
"It's just for a couple of minutes," Harry grumbled, glaring up at Dick wearily. "Anyway, we're in a dell."
"A dell?" Dick asked as he squatted down beside Valerie and put his hands over the fire. "You mean where fairies and gnomes live?"
"If you spot any fairies around, send them my way," giggled Valerie. "I've got a list of names as long as my arm of people who could use a sprinkle of fairy dust these days."
Dick shared a wry grin with her, which she returned in kind. It was the closest to a proper smile she'd seen him give since before they'd left for Bastogne.
"I swear I thought I could smell a fire," Lewis announced as he approached their little circle. "Jesus, I did smell a fire. Are you out of your mind?"
"Ah, but we're in a dell," Dick commented sardonically. Lewis crouched down beside them and leaned in towards the fire. Despite their protests, Valerie noted that neither Dick nor Lewis had made any attempt to put it out. The four of them sat together in comfortable silence, content to enjoy the short respite from the cold for a few more minutes. It was the most peaceful moment they'd had since they'd entered the forest.
Their peaceful silence was suddenly broken by the sound of incoming shells.
"Shit, put the fire out!" Lewis shouted as he jumped back to find cover. Valerie threw some snow onto the fire before Dick grabbed her around the waist and dragged her away from it. They fell to the snow in a heap, and Valerie gripped the arm of his jacket tightly in her fist as the shells continued to drop nearby. He'd fallen half on top of her, and he moved frantically to cover her as another round sailed over their heads.
A sharp cry of pain to their left caught their attention, and their heads snapped in tandem towards it.
"Harry!" Valerie wailed. He was lying in the snow a few feet away, his face screwed up in agony.
"Medic!" Dick yelled as he scrambled towards Harry. Valerie and Lewis were right behind him, Lewis grabbing the radio while Valerie grabbed Harry's arms and tried to keep him from moving too much.
"Keep it together, Harry," she pleaded desperately. "Gene will be here any minute and he'll take good care of ya."
"Medic!" Dick called again. He ripped Harry's pants to get a look at the wound and quickly put his hand over it to staunch the blood. "Where the hell is Gene?"
Valerie looked into the trees and released a shaky breath when she spotted Gene coming towards them. Harry started to flail again, groaning in agony, and Valerie had to pin his arms to the ground to try and keep him steady. She looked up towards Gene and saw him frozen a few feet away, staring blankly at them. Pure terror seized Valerie at the sight.
"Gene, please," she pleaded, her voice cracking. He glanced at her and then seemed to snap out of it, coming to her side and pushing in to get to work on Harry.
"There's morphine in my pocket, take it out and give it to him, opposite thigh," he instructed Dick as he poured sulfa in Harry's wound. Valerie glanced at Harry's face and her heart shattered at the pain she saw in his eyes.
"You hang in there, Harry," she told him softly. She reached up and wiped his brow with a gentle hand and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "This might just be your ticket home to that warm fire with Kitty, and I'm sure she'll be mighty pleased to see you."
Valerie sat back on her heels as they placed Harry on a stretcher and carried him off to the jeep. Her ears had begun ringing at some point. She stared vacantly at the now smoking fire, the twin images of Harry's face and Gene frozen to the spot playing on a loop in her mind. She looked down at her hands and realised they were trembling. Her heart pounded violently against her ribs, and her breath was coming out in shaky, uneven pants. She didn't even register the tears that had begun to stream down her face.
"Val?" Dick asked as he squatted down beside her, but she didn't move. He wiped his hands on the leg of his pants before he gently placed his hand on her arm and squeezed. She continued to stare down at her hands, watching them shake. "Valerie, look at me. Please."
Slowly, she turned her head towards him and met his concerned gaze. Dick reached up and softly wiped a tear from her cheek, as her lip began to tremble as the shock and adrenaline wore off.
"We... we almost lost Harry."
"Oh, Val, c'mere," Dick sighed sympathetically, putting his arms around her and pulling her into a tight hug. Valerie clenched her fists in his jacket and wept. She wept for Julian, who was gone before he'd even truly grown up. She wept for Gordon, who may never walk again. She wept for Harry, who'd almost died because he'd wanted a few minutes of warmth. She wept for Gene, who'd experienced so much death and misery that it had beaten him into an almost unrecognisable shadow.
Eventually, she heaved in a shaky breath and cleared her throat before pulling back from Dick. She swiped at her cheeks with still trembling hands and swept away the lingering tears.
"Val..." Dick murmured hoarsely, his face drawn. "Why don't you come back to CP with us for a while, I'll get you some coffee."
Valerie desperately wanted to say yes. She wanted nothing more than to go back to CP, with Dick, to stay there and forget everything for just one night.
"I can't," she whispered, shaking her head resolutely. "I have to go back."
"It's okay to take five, Val," Lewis assured, crouching down beside her and giving her a soft sympathetic smile. "You've been through a lot out at the front."
"Not nearly as much as the enlisted men," Valerie insisted, shaking her head.
She'd indulged in a brief moment of weakness, but now it was time to pull herself together again and do her job. There would be no more tears in Bastogne, she couldn't afford to. The men needed her to be strong, so that's what she was going to be.
"I'll go check on the line, make sure everyone's okay," croaked Valerie before clearing her throat roughly. She put her shoulders back and her chin up, not waiting for a response before marching through the trees.
Hey girlie!! Are you almost finished with Bitter Pill to Swallow? How is our favorite couple, Val and Dick?
Hello dear ❤️
Still working on it! I'm working on Bastogne and I'm working on a few chapters at once to make sure I get in everything I want which is why there's a delay but don't worry, it's coming soon!! ✨️
As for Val and Dick? Well, they're my favourite oblivious idiots in the world 🤣❤️
Hi! Are you still updating Bitter Pill to Swallow? I understand if you aren’t, but I really enjoyed reading it
Hey there!
Thank you so much. I'm so glad you're enjoying it! Honestly, every nice comment I get blows my mind I genuinely can't believe people enjoy my silly story 🥺
I'm still updating don't worry! Currently working on the next few chapters! I'm covering bastogne so it's easier to kinda write them all together and then split them out, but the downside is it takes longer to get them out🥲
