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@holkwi-blog
I won't lie and say I'm fine with what happened since I am honestly a little hurt, but I deserved it.
Though I don't think I need to go through the shit of hearing my neighbors being fucking annoying and loud as fuck right outside my window. Their laugh is worse than my ex's.
I hate my neighbors.
End of story.
Can't believe I stayed up until 4 in the morning to talk to you.
I'm crazy.
Currently dying of laughter because my neighbor just yelled at her son. Why do I laugh at this? Because she said "Get in your damn room! Get in your room! Get in your room!" with little to no pause between and her voice, ruined by years of smoking, just ... I can't. Let me be a horrible person in peace, lol.
I neglect this blog more than I should since I made it as a way to release pent up emotions. Mm, I guess I'll just simplify the things that have happened to me in the past couple days.
My mom won't let me go into work with her anymore since I had some sort of panic attack after I clocked out on Monday. Crying, screaming into the car seat, clawing at my skin as if it would help, that sorta thing.
I had the oddest dream in which I was a man. More of a personal thing which I'd be uncomfortable sharing with anyone. The details, that is. I'm more than alright admitting I was a man in my dream.
I haven't had a decent conversation with my best -possibly only- friend I have. I probably won't see her until school starts which is making me sad to say the least. I was supposed to go with her somewhere on Saturday but she has places to be afterward and I have issues with riding buses alone.
Since I can't go to work with my mom, something I'm glad to be avoiding, I've been sleeping my days away. School is just around the corner and I'm not too thrilled about it.
Currently thinking about writing smut fanfiction because I can. I've got a few one shots hidden away in various places and it's a stress reliever.
Well, I think that's all. Since I've been sleeping most of the time, there's not much to report on or to complain about. Going into detail about the whole work thing isn't something I want to do.
Going to learn a dance my friend said looks "easy". Easy for her since she's some kind of bad ass when it comes to dancing. Meanwhile I'm here, haven't done hula since sixth grade ... Sucked ass when it came to hula anyway. Can't dance for shit, awkward fuck right here. Ah, lots of swearing in this one. Fuck. c:
Well, let's see if I can do this or not, aye? I hope to finish learning the song by the ... second week of school or earlier which gives me three-ish weeks.
190712 pt2
Alright, so ... Today was interesting. Work was definitely better than Tuesday since the creepy guy didn't talk to me. The only thing he said to me was "I'll be throwing pillows over your head so watch out". Don't ask, I work in a warehouse, enough said. I think listening to music all day was definitely a factor to him not speaking with me. Thank you, mum, for that suggestion. That, and my bitch face probably kept him away. Fairly sure I bagged over two hundred pillows into bags and I only found out an easier way to do it during the final thirty or so. Discovered a new found love for tagging items with some sort of gun thing? I don't know exactly what it is but it seems my mum is the only one who uses it since it literally has her name on it. Really, it's on the warning label, heh. I had the unfortunate task of weighing pillows to be sent out to airlines again and that's fucked up my back once more. I think the whole day off in between is good for me since I would have died doing all of this yesterday. Plus, I'd probably be weighing pillows all day if I went yesterday. Something I learned: I hate weighing pillows. Well, not the actual weighing but having to stuff them if they're underweight because creepy guy filled them that way. What else did I do today? Sealed pillow cases into plastic and crappily stapled tags onto them. I was doing the whole sealing thing maybe an hour over the time I was supposed to clock out but then my mom asked if I wanted to keep working so I said okay. Clocked out after stapling the tags on and my mum had to redo most of them, XD. Best part of the day: When the creepy guy went out to lunch/make deliveries.
Currently freaking out about taking the COMPASS test tomorrow, but my brother told me it's easy so I shouldn't have a hard time. He got good marks in English and Writing while not so great marks in Math. Personally, I'm better at Math so my scores will probably be the opposite of his. Our mum says we'd make one perfect person since our eye prescriptions are opposite and I'm good at math while he's good in English. My brother will be coming with me since I have to walk there and he'll be in Starbucks while I take my test. When I'm done I'll come home and curl up into a ball and cry over my scores. 90% sure I'll do bad, 10% thinking I'm overreacting and it really will be pretty easy. How sad would it be though if I don't get the marks that allow me to take the college course during my Junior year of high school? Hopefully it won't be too bad.
190712
Staying up even though I have work in just a few hours. I look forward to the worst and I imagine I'll be venting at 2 while I wait in the warehouse for my mom to finish at 4.
150712
I'm beginning to think I'm overly protective of the people I care about but I don't have the guts to act out on the way I feel. It really pisses me off knowing someone has the nerve to act like a bitch toward my own brother and my best friend who I see as the sister I never had.
The way she treats my brother is just shit. She had even gone so far as to hit my brother when he had joined them to a restaurant at the end of the festival yesterday. This should've been no problem seeing as he is friends with a few of the people who were going and one of his best friends attended, also being the reason he was there in the first place. Now, this girl had been bothering him all day along with one of her friends and she just decides to fucking hit him as they enter the restaurant for no fucking reason. My friend and I talked about this earlier and agreed to it being wrong if he had hit her back seeing as she is three years younger. This age thing is new information to me since that means she's my age and treating my brother, who is fucking nineteen, like shit. You'd think she'd be kinder to someone older than her, but no. My brother doesn't even know why the fuck she was like that to him, it's not like he did or said anything bad to her in the first place. It's also weird since my brother was only participating in these events because his best friend was and paid him to take pictures of it all. His best friend is very buddy-buddy with the girl and it makes no sense for her to be hating on my brother.
The way she treats my best friend is also a load of shit. I'm so annoyed at this girl that I can't explain her attitude other than being shit. I didn't find out until yesterday that she never responds to my friend. My friend will directly ask her a question and get no reply. If the girl's friend approaches and talks then she'll become talkative while ignoring my friend. She also seems to think that just because she's a tall Asian girl, all the men find her attractive and flirt with her when, in actuality, it's just this thing call a 'conversation'.
I wish I could've known about all this before so I could have done something about it. I love both my brother and my friend and I don't want them to go through stuff like this. My friend doesn't mind but I do. As for my brother, he came home early because he was in a bad mood with all the shit he had experienced throughout the day because of this girl and her friend. My mother thinks it's because of the place we're from but I think it's just because she's a bitch. There, I said it.
Dear Girl,
You're a bitch and if I ever see you again, you're going to get it. I don't fucking care if I get into some shit because of it, it's your fucking fault for messing with two of the people I care about most. Also; Those men weren't flirting with you and you know it.