bitch. ( i am vs you are)
A reoccurring theme in my life lately has been language, and cultural ownership of words. Meaning, there are words that certain people say that others are not allowed to.
The word I've been dwelling on has been "bitch".
I throw that word around a lot.
"Ugh, she's such a bitch."
"That's a bitchy thing to say."
I don't even particularly mind when other women call me a bitch. Because, to me, being a bitch means being assertive, means being unapologetic about who I am.
But if a man were to call me a bitch, I'd find that inexcusable. Why is that? It's the same word, right?
When a man calls a woman a bitch, he means it in a degrading way. He means she is lesser. She is not his equal.
When a woman calls another woman a bitch, she can mean several things:
1) That woman is rude/not classy.
2) That woman is assertive and will not accept "No" as an answer.
3) She is envious of the other woman and expresses it by putting the other woman down.
Bitch can come in my forms. But what's the difference between a man saying it and another woman?
It's kind of like a certain racial slur that's okay for one group of people to say, but not okay for anyone else.
It's about a culture, community, or gender gaining ownership of a term, and turning it from it's derogatory meaning to what they want it to mean. But that still doesn't make it okay for anyone else to say it.
I heard a song the other day that had the hook "Bitch bad, woman good" which then got stuck in my head. It's a song by Lupe Fiasco and about the differences of a man and a woman saying "bitch".
I don't need a man to tell me the difference.
I know what my girlfriend means when she calls me bitch and what a guy on the street means.
But, I am thankful for that song. Because boys, and men for that matter, are more likely to listen to another man than a woman.
That's life. That's the way it is. It's why men make more money than women. It's why men are the majority on the Forbes lists. It's why men are in government. It's why a million other things to do with the way men still have leadership over women. The glass ceiling, you know?
See, there's still a difference when Beyonce says "bitch" and Jay Z says "bitch".
Beyonce means her fellow HBIC (head bitch(es) in charge), even when she's telling them to "bow down".
Jay Z means women he has no respect for, side chicks, or women who hold no significance to him.
But, here's the thing... that woman, the one being called "bitch" does hold meaning to someone. She's someone's daughter, sister, mother, friend, teacher, student. She's something to somebody.
And none of us would be here without her, or the woman before her or the woman after.
stormborns
dailybridgerton
yousharknotpass
