NASA
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Love Begins
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d e v o n
trying on a metaphor
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@holmsin
this is an extremely private blog for S. HOLMES , with slow to no activity at times , and incredibly selective in who follows me & who i follow back . be warned that i have only taken the barest bones of this character and have rewritten them in how i see fit . a case study since 2012
β°ΒΉ . rules found here .
β I love how deliciously, pointlessly mean you lot can be. β / sammmmmmm
for a long moment , she allows them to stand in silence , their only companion the quiet rush of nighttime winds ---- scattering softly through the sparse trees that cling to the harshness of the cold city - scape around them . her gaze sits , incomprehensible and strange , focused on the frame of his body , the lines of his face . she reads him the same way he would read a map ---- the roads and valleys of him , dots in the constellation of his being / the subtleties that make him human , the differences that tear him asunder from the twin sister that stands just inside , speaking in harsh tones the brute and curt movement of her hands could have no other explanation to the hotel desk clerk , the two of them left outside " and yet isn't it all a matter of perspective ? "
her head cants to the side , an animal bewildered by the qualities displayed before her ( how foreign , the man with his heart on his sleeve , who understands the whims of humanity so well ) " my intention is not rudeness , only ever observation . if they choose to interpret it as me being cruel , then that is no fault of mine " her gaze drops , shifts back to where sophia stares down whatever poor man happened to be working at this particular hour . a sigh pushes from her lungs , and she can't help the small inward curve of her shoulders the ghost of a child that knew no kindness , no gentle hand , no loving word her fingertips drum idly inside the pockets of her coat , fidgeting without a cigarette to still their frantic movements ; her voice quiet " i know cruelty , samuel . this is not that "
β Don't lecture me about family values. You're just as shit in that department as I am. β / sophia ! (:
" have you been speaking to my brother , sophia ? " a hand is brought to her mouth , a purse of lips ---- the briefest pause , before the cigarette is placed there , and a lungful of smoke is drawn in ( the scorch along her throat , the swell of nicotine flooding through her system , it is all such a beautiful release ) it is almost enough to battle away the hurried rush of thoughts , the cacophony that screams and whistles and clamors to the forefront of her mind . mud on the hem of her pants , but clean shoes , wrinkles on her shirt , mirrored to the contours of a body that had worked relentlessly for days at a time without rest , a smudge of ink on the ring finger ---- another sharp drag , ash burning and crumbling at the crux of her fingers , begging to be stamped out . the smoke seethes through her clenched teeth , lips parted in hushed exhale ; eyes close , for just a moment , forcefully righting her train of thought back on the conversation
molars grind together , the briefest flame of annoyance flickering to life in the dark depths of her eyes ; fickle thing , when the tables tried to turn back on you ---- familiar , at least , to have venom spit in your direction . cruel twist of lips , crueler words , just like home " i was only pointing out the contradiction in your logic . what is it they say ? pot , kettle " she offers a quirk of lips , mirthful , crushing the butt of her cigarette against the ashtray before bringing her hands to rest on her lap " trust me , i am keenly aware of my family situation "
animal wife.
dialogue prompts from animal wife: stories by lara ehrlich.
i practice punching every afternoon.
it's my job to take care of you.
you are the best thing in my life.
you can come up, if you want.
it's not polite to point out people's flaws.
do you believe in monsters?
i'll never let my guard down again.
it's alarming how life continues without us.
our teeth scraped.
can i come in? i won't make a sound.
we each carry an ocean inside us.
just kiss and get it over with.
it's cold in your shadow.
don't be a baby.
you were scared once, too.
you're still scared.
hey. can you come out?
want to see a movie tonight?
you think you're too good for us.
stop being a snob.
i wanted to sit down and run away at the same time.
sometimes i say things just to see what you'll do.
we can't lie. we have to tell.
i'm not sure i want things to change so much. not yet.
you know how to make an impression.
i hate when people tell me to smile.
what did i tell you about webmd?
i think maybe i loved you.
i'm tired of life lessons.
i need a change i can't come back from.
give me a call every few days so i know you're alive.
they don't need to know i'm not coming back.
i've never wanted kids.
you deserve to be enough for someone.
deer live at the edges between worlds.
what the hell are you supposed to be?
you always come back to me.
i sleep better in the car.
take some time for yourself.
what happened to you?
you look a little lost.
you were the only one who listened.
we have everything we need right here.
i have a name.
it's like i'm invisible.
my therapist says seeking reassurance only provides temporary relief, and then the worry just comes back stronger than before.
i don't know why i'm sorry.
i miss you already.
no good can come of longing.
happiness has sharp edges.
THE FALL OF THE HOUSE OF USHER SENTENCE STARTERS
β I'm sorry for your loss, your...your losses, rather. β
β Nobody gets away with anything. Not really. β
β Don't lecture me about family values. You're just as shit in that department as I am. β
β That day was the last day we were all in the same place. Alive. β
β They will love you because I love you, and the only thing stronger than love is how scared they are of getting cut out of the will. β
β And most people go their whole, wasted, stupid lives without one minute of true resolution. Not me though. β
β You know what a resolution is? It's a deal you make with the future. β
β The people in charge of making us healthy make us sick. We cheat the dying. We fleece the poor. Promote the racist. Let the demons run amok. This world needs changing. β
β You're supposed to be shadowing me. Shadows don't fucking talk. β
β This is beneath you. And you're going to kill it. But you're better than all of this. And the minute you figure that out, you're going to be unstoppable. β
β There's no such thing as a step back. You go forward. If you hit a brick wall, you don't go back, you go through. β
β Nearly realized is the sweetest. It's better, I promise, in the moment just before than in the moment after. β
β You are consequence. And tonight, you are consequential. β
β You are a pretty, pretty little thing. β
β You wonder why people hate us. This is why. β
β Everybody knows that edible arrangements are what you send to people you hate. β
β If you start thinking this is reality, you'll just slip into the abyss. β
β We can talk about it after because I've had a shit day and I really just wanna starfish and forget the world. β
β Don't talk to me until I've come at least twice. β
β I love how deliciously, pointlessly mean you lot can be. β
β You still didn't need to come here though. It could have happened quiet. Peaceful. In bed. But I guess it's got to happen like this. β
β It's amazing how far you can get on denial. You know why so many people use denial to get by? Because it really fucking works. β
β You can't enhance this image? You see it all the time on TV. They hit a button, it enhances it. β
β I don't even own anything funeral black. β
β Satin is silk for poor people, no one should wear it to a funeral, unless they died in it. β
β Nobody knows they're the fall guy until they're falling.β
β Women are the natural leaders of the species. Ancient Egypt had it right. β
β Okay, just because the door's open doesn't necessarily guarantee you a seat at the table. β
β You're not who I thought you were. β
β I really didn't want to think it, but...you're all fucking monsters. β
β Watching you shit on your principles would have been worth every fucking penny. β
β The mind of guilt is full of scorpions. And I wouldn't wish their sting on anyone. β
β Don't have to be smart to be dangerous. I'm not scared of rattlesnakes 'cause they're so smart. β
β You're so out of touch with your human side...you can't even listen to anything outside your own head. β
β I haven't seen you sleep in like...I mean, it's been a fucking long time. Like, horror movie long. β
β Life is insane. It is madness. The sooner you understand that, the better off you'll be. β
β The world might not be safe but listen to me, and listen carefully. I won't let anything happen to you. β
β All these terrible things and I thought, that's when people come together. But we've never been further apart. β
β Tell me it's worth it. Tell me you know the risk and I'll be there with you. I'll back you up. Just tell me. β
β Shut your mouth, get your shit together. The fuck is wrong with you? β
β Men, when they think they're immortal, all they want to do is fuck. When they figure out they're going to die, all they want to do is fuck. β
β It just makes you think, you know, life is so fucking short. β
β You don't have to be a tyrant, but if you don't want to be consistently cruel, then you have to be sufficiently brutal at least once to establish authority. β
β I thought it was an act. I figured you just played the housewife so you could keep a roof over your head. Spread your legs or suck his dick twice a week and you're set. You never have to work a day in your life. And I thought, "Good for her, she found her angle," but...this is really you. Isn't it? β
β Words got us into this, words can get us out. β
β You're a collection of impeccable, elaborate masks in orbit of a stunted heart. β
β There are certain things one shouldn't have to face in life. Time enough for self-reflection after. β
β I don't normally like to get my hands this dirty, but honey, you earned it. β
β I see you now. I look at you and I see... You. The poverty of you. β
β The real world is Darwinian. Survival, chaos, power. Leverage. β
β You feel it. In the air. We're sitting outside of time and space. β
β This is the moment luck meets opportunity. β
β In the ancient world, we'd seal this with blood, or spit. And then later, papyrus. But, a deal's a deal all over the world. β
β We're a... virus, I think. People, I mean. β
β But everyone loves something. And in that love there's collateral. β
β I say this with love. Let it go. Let it all go. β
β So I say, we stand tall and proud. Bill's come due. Let's not hide here in the basement like we've got something to be ashamed of. No. Not us. You and me against the world. β
β It may not have been perfect, but you can't say we didn't change the world. How many people can say that at the end? β
β I knew I would climb to the top of the tower on a pile of corpses. β
β It don't matter in the end why you did any of it. I don't fucking care why you did it. We don't want your confession, or your rationale, or your explanation. β
