Holy Shit Waffle House

The blog of a former Professional Waffle Slinger and Cook of the Line. Featuring: terrible cell phone pictures of the drawings I make on our store's dry erase board and photos of waffles, posted more or less daily unless the queue screws up. I also answer waffle related questions in a charmingly irreverent manner. Waffle Art Archive Disclaimer: All opinions expressed here are solely my own and do not reflect The Waffle House Way. The Official Waffle House Website Find a Waffle House near you! (Unless you live in the north, then you're outta luck you Yankee jerk.)

[holyshitwafflehouse]

Waffle Haas [photographed 5/26/2013 by Exec.Walls]

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you can't kill a linecook in a way that matters they will just be smoking behind the building again tomorrow night

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being a scavenger animal must be so fucking great. imagine if every time someone died a new restaurant opened up downtown.

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Quarantine gothic, or the utterly disconcerting image of a closed Waffle House

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Hufflebuff (via thisguy1036)

[holyshitwafflehouse]

I feel a kinship with the person who made this

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Keep It Simple And Stay Open: The Waffle House Storm Menu

The 24/7 comfort-food chain is notable for keeping the doors open when hurricanes and natural disasters strike, but two of its restaurants in Houston have had to close because of Harvey.

Guys

Because Waffle House tells customers it never closes, the company feels a special obligation to stay open under the most severe weather conditions. That means a lot of planning and storm logistics. In the case of Harvey, Waffle House “jump teams,” restaurant managers from Ohio, Tennessee and Georgia, headed to Houston to keep the grills going — in some cases doing the shifts of storm-stranded local employees.

This has single-handedly restored my faith in America. Also, listen up Hollywood:

[holyshitwafflehouse]

I worked at Waffle House for a month, sarcastically told curious customers we called our buckets Bain Maries because corporate wanted to honor a woman by that name who worked at WH until she was 106. It's spread to 4 north GA Waffle Houses and a Donatos Pizza in Ohio. Be proud.

You did good.  I’m proud of you.  May you carry this flame with you always in life.

[holyshitwafflehouse]

I'm p certain waffle house was invented in my city, at least there are a whole lot of them there, but i've never had it before????

If you live in Atlanta or “Avondale Estates” (where is that??? IDK) then you do indeed!  But basically if you live anywhere in the south then there’s a Waffle House at basically every highway exit.  As I understand it they are the Starbucks of the south. 

Also you should eat there if you want kinda cheap food that tastes kinda good.  I know I seem biased but I legit like Waffle House a LOT better than Denny’s or Ihop, both of which make me feel kinda sick afterwards. 

I always tell ppl to try the chicken biscuit at Waffle House, it comes per-marinaded in some kinda amazing sauce and it is So Good.  The waffles, ironically, are actually kinda shitty, but then again I also never liked waffles that much even before I worked there.

[holyshitwafflehouse]

also a couple times when i was still working there i had hyper-realistic dreams that i got up, got dressed, and went to work, and i would be like halfway through first shift and suddenly wake up in bed, very confused and also very late

THOSE ARE THE WORST DREAMS. THEY’RE SUCH LIES.

That’s when you know you’ve been working at a place too long.

[holyshitwafflehouse]

selected waffle house nightmares: 1) i am laying on the floor in the backroom, staring dead-eyed at the ceiling. everyone keeps trying to get me to get up and wait tables but man, i can't do this anymore. 2) i have locked myself in the restroom. i am trapped. everyone keeps trying to get me to come out and wait tables but man... i can't do this anymore. 3) i'm working the grill during a tornado. the windows shatter and one of the servers is sucked into the vortex. i continue working the grill.

The last one made me wheeze-laugh because that is the very essence of Waffle House.

[holyshitwafflehouse]

sometimes i have nightmares that i still work at waffle house

TRUE HORROR.

I only ever had one Waffle House related dream and it wasn’t even particularly interesting.

What do your Waffle House nightmares look like?

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Distribution of Waffle Houses in the US.

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happy birthday neeb notcuddles, Das Nacht Cooke

i don’t trust the post scheduler so i’m gonna post this now and figure you’ll get it on the 16th

[holyshitwafflehouse]

Posting this here, for old time’s sake.  Look at this cute-ass Night Cook.  You’d never guess that they hatched 29 years ago today.

[holyshitwafflehouse]

Oh my goodness. I love your tumblr!! I'm a server and work 2nd and 3rd shift and we have a bar right behind us >.<

My eyes got WIDE WITH HORROR.  Your 3rd shifts must be RIDICULOUS.  Do you have any awesome/awful stories to tell?  Sadly, there aren't really a lot of updates to this blog, since I don't work at Waffle House anymore, but I would totally publish any hilarious stories you have!

[holyshitwafflehouse]

Can I just say as a third shift salesperson you have just saved my shift. You have really done a waffling good here. You've just became my favourite blog and I'll draw stuff for you too!

Glad I could help!

I WELCOME ALL SUBMITTED ART!  Holyshitwafflehouse ain't dead yet, apparently!