Honest Algernon @honestalgernon - Tumblr Blog

Some people never find it, some only pretend, but I just want to live happily ever after every now and then. Jimmy Buffet

Everybody Is Dying Except Me

So many people in my sphere have died in the past 15 months. I have had four co-workers die, four family members, and as of last night, seven friends. I was closer to some than others, and most of my family no longer thinks of me to even notify me when someone has died. I also had two neighbors die as well. Death is everywhere around me lately.

The absolute hardest death for me was my dog Siobhan. She died in my arms and I can take some small consolation in being able to be there to offer her comfort as she passed. The pain is still as fresh and sharp as the day it happened.

Mike was a comedian, and his cousin and I share my name. He was a cancer victim who had successfully completed treatment and the day that he was to be released from the hospital, he turned septic and died within a few hours. Raul, a musician/singer was another cancer victim and was never described as cancer-free, but had decided when enough was enough and went home to die. Kaye and her husband Stan (and all of their boys) have been friends for decades. I have not spoken to them for years and getting the notice last night was a hard shock. Kaye was a wife, a mother, a grandmother, and a wonderful loving, caring, and giving person. I will miss her as well.

My cousin got a goodbye recognition from the Atlanta Braves at one of their home games. An aunt was remembered and eulogized in three separate cities in two different states. Not one person thought I needed to know and I found out through other means.

The coworkers were two chronic illness patients and two accident victims. Foley fell in his garage and hit his head and died instantly. Sherry drank until her pancreas just stopped working. Jeff, a deskmate, drank until his AFIB/diabetic ass just quit one night. Nobody knew what happened for five days.

Some days are harder than others. Lately, all days are very hard.

Other less fatal, but still as painful as any death are people who were friends who have moved on. I know I have changed. I was never really the chummy friend IRL and the past four years have been a steep hill to climb. The last four years have cost me $40k and the stress from the events associated with that cost have placed a toll on me, both physically and mentally. Lately, the mental aspect has been especially hard on me. As such, I have been especially hard on others.

I do not fault others for not wanting me to be a part of their circle; I completely take full fault on myself. I have not been a friend, nor even simply friendly. I have barely been courteous. Most of the friends I had are now living their lives which is wonderful. I wish them peace, and I wish them happiness.

I probably owe a lot of people apologies for my actions or inactions, as well as any discourtesy I may have extended to them. I meant you no ill will. I am simply no longer a nice person.

I feel as if I am immaterial, non-existent. At the very least, ineffectual. Inconsequential.

I no longer belong.

I hope you are doing as well as can be expected. I watch for your posts, but time away can be useful too. 🫶🏻

Thank you for reaching out. I am sorry if I caused you any concern.

My mom always said that she didn't care how long she lived as long as she made it to 80 years old. On this date in 2009, she missed her 81st birthday by one week. She made it to 80, and the last three months she lived were some of the most pain-free she had while living with three chronic illnesses. She was the nicest person I've ever known and cared for her family more than anything in the world. My heart is broken today.

Where have you beeeeeeen? Are you ok? 👀

It does not signify. But thank you for asking.

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

Thank you. I wish I felt that I deserved this.

I wish you peace.

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

Thank you, that is very kind.

🌼~BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you’re supposed to paste it in the asks of 8 people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you’re beautiful inside and out.~🌼

Thank you, I wish I felt more of a beautiful person lately. I am just not there.

meaningfall

———

C. A. Singh • Earthquake

10-29-20

meaningfall

Get copies of my books How To Age and My Body and I Share the Same Name on BookBaby, or on Depop and eBay @ craftsinglez <3

"We few, we happy few."

I had more words to say about this, but I don't think anybody wants to hear them anymore.

Happy St Crispin Day.

now had here

But one ten thousand of those men in England

That do no work to-day!

KING. What's he that wishes so?

My cousin, Westmorland? No, my fair cousin;

If we are mark'd to die, we are enough

To do our country loss; and if to live,

The fewer men, the greater share of honour.

God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.

By Jove, I am not covetous for gold,

Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;

It yearns me not if men my garments wear;

Such outward things dwell not in my desires.

But if it be a sin to covet honour,

I am the most offending soul alive.

No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from England.

God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour

As one man more methinks would share from me

For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!

Rather proclaim it, Westmorland, through my host,

That he which hath no stomach to this fight,

Let him depart; his passport shall be made,

And crowns for convoy put into his purse;

We would not die in that man's company

That fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is call'd the feast of Crispian.

He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,

Will stand a tip-toe when this day is nam'd,

And rouse him at the name of Crispian.

He that shall live this day, and see old age,

Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,

And say "To-morrow is Saint Crispian."

Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars,

And say "These wounds I had on Crispin's day."

Old men forget; yet all shall be forgot,

But he'll remember, with advantages,

What feats he did that day. Then shall our names,

Familiar in his mouth as household words—

Harry the King, Bedford and Exeter,

Warwick and Talbot, Salisbury and Gloucester—

Be in their flowing cups freshly rememb'red.

This story shall the good man teach his son;

And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,

From this day to the ending of the world,

But we in it shall be rememberèd—

We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;

For he to-day that sheds his blood with me

Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,

This day shall gentle his condition;

And gentlemen in England now a-bed

Shall think themselves accurs'd they were not here,

And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks

That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.

cathedral-of-the-forest

I can’t tell what to do right. I’m neither that arrogant or successful.

But if you need to know what to do wrong. Well, then, I’m definitely your huckleberry.

There are two types of people in this world

Those who can extrapolate from incomplete information.

Q: How many really confused people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: To get to the other side!

Answer: Siss! Boom! Bah!

Question: What does an exploding sheep sound like?

Pics from around the west, over the years.

"It is a beautiful day at The Red Pony Bar and Grill and continual soiree." - Henry Standing Bear

Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?

A: None.

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